The Lumberjack's Wife

Yesterday was my 40th birthday.  I don’t really want to be 40, but it has happened nonetheless.

The day began by taking the Dudes to the orthodontist.  Leading up to the appointment, I beg and plead with them to PLEASE make sure their teeth are clean.  They usually don’t do a swell job of brushing.  I suppose it is because they simply do not care.

But I care.  I care a lot.

After they were finished, the hygenist walked them out, as usual, and I prepared to hear how poorly their brushing skills had been.  But, alas.  I was told they were both taking, and I quote, “excellent” care of their teeth.  So that was a birthday miracle in and of itself.

A bit later, Hadley and I met up for pedicures and lunch.  (Kate was working)

With the orthodontist appointment, pedicures, lunch, and other errands, I had been in town for five hours, and I find being in town to be a loathesome activity and was quite ready to toodle on back to my cows.  I was planning on stopping for my free  birthday Dutch Bros drink, but then the idea of getting home even faster seemed much more appealing.  So I drove right by and hurried home.  Then I poured old pot coffee into a glass with ice, added a splash of almond milk, and, of course, a straw, and called it good.  So, I guess this is how I will be as a 40 year old.

David came home and he hung my new “Orchard” sign, of which I am absolutely in love with.

I now have three arrow signs on my property and I do not think that is too many at all.

Sign #2-

Sign #3

We turned our horrifically large garden into an orchard/berry patch.  I am no longer going to spend my whole life weeding around corn plants only for them to die because I am literally the world’s worst gardener.  I will buy my corn at the Winco.

It is so hot and dry here.  I don’t know how well the berries will do.  There are only a few starting, but they are getting nice and red.

We also have pears starting-

and apples, too.

And because I am 40 now, and apparently like to blog about plant life, let us look at the blossoming peony.

It is all very exciting.

Norman the puppy is hilarious and quite obsessed with attacking shadows.  We oft find him standing in the driveway, staring at a shadow, ready to pounce.

It consumes him.  For hours.

I am sad to say that Hazel is no longer in love with me.  I used to call her name, she would “moo” and coming running to me.  Now she moos maybe 25% of the time and no longer comes to me.  She prefers to eat hay.  She does let me pet her still.

Here she is, getting a sip of water with two other calf friends.  Matilda’s calf is on the left, Hazel is in the middle, and another calf is on the right.

I received many birthday greetings and well-wishes, and this one was on my favorites.

My niece remembered me dropping 4.2 million hints over the past year that I wanted my favorite dessert for my birthday, and she let me know she remembered.

It will be very yummy.

Happy Thursday!

This weekend, LD turned 13.  So, we have kids ranging in the ages of 13, 14, 17, and 18.  And it is just as easy as it sounds.

On his sixth birthday, he requested this fun Kit Kat cake.

And he has requested it each year since.

I am not sure why he was posing like that.  But he was sure to point out the lack of trucks in his cake.

We went to the river and we kayaked and enjoyed ourselves.

Here’s LD, jumping in-

It was also Father’s Day weekend, as well as my mother’s birthday and there were lots of celebrations to be had.

In honor of Father’s Day, I am sharing this throwback photo of David and the Fab Four from the days of yore.

From left to right-

Hadley, LD, HD, and Kate.

Life is still tricky.  I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and not thoroughly basking in the joy that is this season.

But now I have chickens!  And I can make them a river when needed.  And watching chickens get all geeked out about water flowing is a top notch plan for anyone feeling like they are not basking in the season they are dwelling in.

And no dogs have eaten chickens in many days, and that is fun and happy as well.

The other day, HD was pestering LD.

HD:  You are just dumb.

LD:  Uno-Reverse-Card!

Me:  What?

LD:  I told him  Uno Reverse Card.  That means he’s dumb.

Me:  Ah.  Nobody can say dumb.

I found it clever.  Albeit rude on all accounts.

Alright.

Let’s look a cute picture of LD from many years ago when he would eat one hamburger instead of 3.

Happy summer days are upon us, my friends. Days where I can pull weeds in my jammies and not wake the starving boys up until after 8am.  Days where my gas tank remains full and my kitchen a complete and utter disaster.

My new thing is audible, and I love to put my wireless earbuds (airbuds?) in and putter around the place.  I pretend to not hear the boys fighting and all is happy in the world.

I went and visited Hazel this morning.

Reader.  She didn’t follow me.  Nor did she knock into my legs to get milk.  She wanted to eat hay and just “tolerated” me.  It made my feelers sad.

I love her.

I checked in on Matilda’s calf, Tillie, and she is looking like the spitting image of her mother.

Hearty, robust, and a brat and a half.

And, of course, Maisy’s calf.  She is, to quote David, “A wiley little bugger,” so we are unsure of her gender, but we want her to be a girl, and we are holding on to that hope.

Are you wondering what a “wiley little bugger” is?  You are not alone.  Think of a hyper calf who chooses not to be roped.

Also, she has a cute, white face, like her mama.

Pita and Little Red have not chosen to flee.

So that’s good.

Thanks to David and the boys, I have a few areas now that I really love and enjoy “tending.”

I have lots of flowers to water and chickens to watch.  We transformed our overwhelmingly large garden into an orchard/strawberry patch and it is much easier to maintain.

Lest you think all is happy and merry over here, I would like be fully transparent and show you that there is a pig foot in a window well.

Why?  How?

Don’t know.  Don’t care.

Let’s focus, yet again, on the pretty clematis.

That’s better.

There is a part of our shop that has always been somewhat ideal to convert into an apartment.  We are contemplating doing that now because we kind of need space from our adult children, but the housing market in our area is ABSOLUTELY insane and no one who is from here can live here anymore.  Which is a travesty.

So, we are not completely sure, yet, but we might convert this room-

into an apartment.

Stand down, Reader!  We will charge rent of our offspring!

I don’t know.  I am stressed.  Life has thrown us a lot of curve balls lately, curve balls that I cannot yet discuss, but I am trying to stay positive and happy.

And, look!  A strawberry hath begun!

So.

Hope.

Since I am home more, and no longer teaching precious first graders (sob), I am able to observe the puppy brothers more, and I am sad to say that we have a problem.

The puppy brothers guard the cow water trough.  And they let the cows be as long as they stay in the area the puppies have allowed. But if the puppies are outside-and the cows wish to quench their thirst-the puppy brothers chase them off.  And I know from doing research in first grade that a cow needs to be able to drink a bathtub full of water each day, so this is going to be concerning.

Anyways.

Life is tricky.  I am stressed.  LD turns thirteen on Saturday.  Hazel doesn’t need me anymore.  But I might get strawberries soon.

Happy Thursday.

Having teens is super entertaining, especially as you watch them try to learn how to adult.

Kate was on the phone.  She was asked her name.  She replied, “Kate.”

Salesman:  Can you spell that for me?

Kate:  Sure!  K as in “cat.”  Oh!  Wait.  Hmmmm.

Life is challenging.

Ok!  Raise your hand if you remember “Wandering Heifer of the Hills.”

Last April, we had a heifer jump the fence and she had traversed many a mile and was later found with a calf residing at another farm.  And we had no idea she was with child, Reader!

Today, all the stars aligned, and we went to fetch her.

First, David bought like 10 cattle panels, because $1100 on cattle panels seems reasonable while trying to catch a heifer who originally cost you $800.

David, Hadley, HD, and I went to go and set up a makeshift corral in an attempt to lure the cow/calf pair.  LD was absent because he was invited to a sleepover.

I know!  More anxious I could not be.  Because, manners.

But the mama called and said things are going so well they would like to have him another night, and yes, by all means.  Take the boy.  I should probably Venmo her some grocery money.

Anyways.  We went and we got to this cow pasture.

And we started to build our little corral and put fresh hay in it and all the cows were like-

Anyways.

We needed just two and they are not docile, calm creatures.

They are in the back there.  On the left is the baby and on the right is the mother.  The baby is a reddish brown with a white face.  The mother is black with a white face.

I have named the baby, who is a girl, Little Red.

We have named the mother, Pita, and we have a reason for that, but it is PG.  Maybe even PG13.  But you cannot judge us because you did not have to deal with her.  And if you did, you would name her Pita, too.

Anyways!  After much pomp and circumstance, we were able to seperate Pita and Little Red from the herd and we loaded them into the trailer and now they are home and all is happy in the world.

And don’t worry.

I helped Kate out and told her that K was for Kangaroo.

Totally saved the day.

Later, Gators.

This gem sat posted on my fridge for a couple of weeks.

David, HD, and Hadley made no comment about it.  Sadly.  And can we not all admit the spider web illustration is worthy of note?

Kate, full of sass and 18 year old-ness, stood with her hand on her hip:  MOM.  Did you SERIOUSLY put this on the fridge?

Me: Looks like it.

Kate:  SERIOUSLY?

Me:  Yup.  It is on the fridge and I put it there.

And then she sighed and walked off.  It must be tragic to have to live with a mother such as I.

LD went to the fridge, presumably to get his 17th snack for the afternoon.  He stared at it and read it out loud, in a monotone 7th grader boy voice.

“You have been my friend.  That in itself is a tremendous thing.  I wove my webs for you because I liked you.”

Then he thought and stared and thought and stared.

LD:  Ma!  Is this supposed to be funny or sad?  I don’t get it.

So there you have it.

Because I want to drag out the end of the school year and keep feeling all sad that it is over, I feel the need to share this photo with you of myself and Gretchen.

Gretchen is the kiddo who made me the Best Teacher Ever button.

I wore it all day yesterday, shamelessly bragging to my fellow teacher pals about how I had been declared “best teacher ever” and they, sadly, had not.

She came to drop off her things and say goodbye.  I told her I was so excited she was here because I was wearing my favorite button.

G’s mom:  Ohmygoodness.  I told her not to give that to you.

Me:  Why not?  It is the best gift I have ever gotten from a kiddo.  Absolutely precious.

Little Miss G is moving across the country and I am not sure if I will ever see her again.

Bleeding hearts of the world, unite.

Anyways.  I don’t know if I have mentioned this before, but middle school boys can be gross in nature.  I live in constant fear of the state of their teeth and armpits and the atrocities that can build up in each location.

Me to LD: I need you to brush your teeth.

LD:  Got it, Mom.

Me:  No.  No, I do not think you “got it.”  I want you to stand really close to the mirror and smile and stare at your teeth.  Then I want you to think of the cutest girl you have ever seen and that she is about to kiss you.  I want your teeth to look good enough for that scenario.

LD:  Got it.

So he went and brushed his teeth.  Or so I am inclined to believe.  Because, really, I never truly know what that child is doing.

He was headed out the door for school.

Me:  DUDE!  Did you brush your teeth?

LD:  Yeah.

Me:  Would the cutest girl at school be ok with kissing you with your teeth looking the way the day right now?

LD:  Yeah.

Me:  Under no circumstances may you kiss any girls today, Bud.

LD:  Got it.

Our dogs are crazy and want to murder all birds.  I am putting my foot down and am determined to once again have chickens living in my cute coop.

I mean.  Look at it.  The sign alone is sure to envoke envy.

Anyways, our crazy dogs keep trying to eat chickens.  Sometimes they are successful.  But I am getting better and better at this and I know that in the end, I shall prevail.

They just make me happy.

Maisy’s calf is cute.  We are choosing to believe she is a girl so we can keep her.

And that would be ideal.

Happy Friday

At the beginning of each school year, I work hard to build relationships with my students and their families, just like every other teacher I have ever known.  And all year long, I work on building and maintaining that trust and sense of family.  We all grow close as a classroom and it starts to feel like a family.

And then, one day, it is your last day.  And you have to say goodbye.

Teaching is a wonderful and peculiar career.  You become so immersed in these little peoples’ lives.  Checking in after weekend sleepovers at grandma’s, new kittens, losing teeth, saying goodbye to a dog, and having a new baby brother born.  Knowing their hobbies and interests , their strengths and weaknesses, and the preciousness of their hearts.  And then, all of a sudden, you say goodbye.

This has been a year to remember.  These six year olds had their kindergarten year cut short and then continued to learn at home online with me for an entire year of first grade.  And they rocked it.

So, we said goodbye.

Only four of them will be with me at the brick and mortar school.  Everyone else is going different places.

I love them all, and I hope they knew that, and I hope they remember that.

Taylor?  What’s it like trying to get a 14 year old boy up on the weekend to do some chores for his Pa?

Well.  You plead with him to wake up 4.2 billion times.  He finally does.  He makes it halfway down the stairs and collapses in exhaustion.

Look at cute kitty, Rio.  I love her.  She is so snuggly.

Last week, we had a “luau” for the first graders as sort of an end of the year party.  Before they came, I remembered that  David and I used to know a hula dance.

You may say, ‘Taylor?  Do you mean David, the man you are currently married to?  The guy who castrates calves and butchers pigs and only eats one piece of Extra brand Bubblegum flavored gum per day?  THAT David?”

Yes, Reader. The same.

When we were first married, we were in college together for we were both going to be teachers at that point in our life histories.  To fulfill a PE credit, we took a multicultural dance class together and learned all sorts of fun things, such as, but not limited to:  swing dance, the waltz, and square dancing.

Anyways.  I remembered something about a hula dance and I kept trying to come up with the name of it so I could quickly look it up and refresh my memory and teach it to the firsties.  I could not think of it!  I then had the audacity to text Mr. Electrician David to ask him if he remembered the name of the hula dance we learned together 20 years ago.

His response:  Houki Laou?

And that might be the most romantic thing to happen in this marriage.

He didn’t have the spelling right, but it was enough for me to remember and I taught 60 first graders the words and motions to “Huki Lau.”  And much joy and merriment was to be had.

After the luau, I went home and visited Hazey Baby and snapped this photo for the firsties.

***

The girls decided it was time to unbox my wedding dress and try it on.

So, I present:

Kate in my wedding dress

and Hadley in my wedding dress.

And why on earth would I want such a poofy dress?

***

We are out of ground beef.  Have been for awhile.  Apparently, Waylon the bull was all the rage.  David told me he wanted to butcher Maisy for hamburger since she had not calved since March of 2019.

Maisy is the cow that we always think is pregnant, yet never is.  We don’t think.

Anyways, I was all, “No way, Jose.”  Because I was terribly uncomfortable with butchering her when we really didn’t know if she was pregnant or not.  So, he agreed to wait.

Meanwhile, he went to an auction and bought a cow for ground beef.  On his way out, he ran into a vet and paid him to do a quick pregnancy check and that cow is also pregnant, so we are probably just going to have to send people to Costco for ground beef.

Also-look what we stumbled across yesterday:

Maisy with a newborn calf.  And the calf has a matching face!

More happier I could not be.

When we grow up, we hope to have a squeeze chute and pay a vet to come out and do pregnancy checks for us.

David and I were happily chewing gum yesterday when we decided to take a break from gum chewing and sip on coffee.

We oft need coffee in the afternoons on weekends.  We have a multitude of teens and their guests over and things can get dicey.

I would like David and I to have matching shirts that say:

The No Drama Llamas

Do you think he would wear it with me?  (He would not)

ANYWAYS.  We saved our gum-

And here is photographic proof of David’s peppermint that he sticks in his gum.  And isn’t weird that he won’t chew peppermint gum-only Extra Brand Bubblegum Flavor gum, but he adds peppermint flavoring to it when it loses its pizazz?

We saved our gum so we could enjoy it after our No Drama Llama Coffee because we are trying to be thrifty. We need to save our monies on gum so we can grow up and get a squeeze chute.

Happy Monday!

We went camping this weekend, and on our way (you might want to sit down for this)-we had a blowout.

First of all, we had quite the load.

Me:  David, this feels like it is all a bit much.

David:  What?

Oh, the flatbed was full and the skidsteer was loaded and the cab of the skidsteer was full of bags and such.

Anyways.  The trailer towing the skidsteer had a blowout.

See?

Convenient.

Alright!  We still made it to camp and we had some projects to do and we had some fun to have.

One crew was on dirt moving and leveling and flattening and such and one crew was on painting and staining and such.  I was on the painting and staining crew.

When we built this shed last year, we had mismatched metal and accidentally kind of stained the wood orange.  And no one wanted orange.

So we fixed that up and painted the metal to match the metal on our new structure and tried to cover up the orange.

I can still kind of see orange.  Such is life.

Then we had to work on staining the structure.

Reader, may I be frank?  I found staining wood to be loathesome.

Stain is very drippy and non-compliant.  Paint is much more agreeable.  We were all covered in stain, including my father.  In fact, when we were finished, father’s shirt looked like he had just finished committing a murder.  I have stain in my hair.  David’s sister, Lisa, was atop a high ladder, dropped a can of stain, which for some miraculous reason landed right side up.

We finished.

And we would all like to be finished with projects for awhile.

We managed to squeeze in some fun here and there.

I woke up Sunday morning and snapped this photo of my niece.

She got up before everyone else to have some painting time.  Her dog is by her side.

I found it to be quite a lovely picture.

We went on a walk and discovered a new creek.

LD and his cousins.

Lily and Hadley.  Kate is behind them and you can see HD with his dog, Norman, sitting up high in the rocks.

Kate and Niko.

It was a very hot weekend and everyone was wanting to go in the river.  But the river is not user friendly yet, so we had to settle for sitting by it and visiting.

Look at this photo I snapped of Norman.

I am thinking I should win a prize for that photo or something.

When I got home, I read through some of my blog comments, became paranoid, and fed Hazel a bottle.  Her first one in 10 days.  I don’t know.  I am all sorts of confused.

She gulped it down.

Alright.  I am convered in bug bites.  Tomorrow is June 1st.

Later, Dudes.