The Lumberjack's Wife

For the 4th, we went to the river.  As we are wont to do.

We went on a total of three kayaking trips.  Two were during the day, in the hot-hot sun.  (With ample sunscreen, of course)

This is one of my cute nieces, followed by LD, who was looking like Mr. River himself, with his new sunglasses and all.

And look!  I saw a family of ducks.

Nature.

We decided to go on a night float, complete with glow sticks and everything.

I call it, “Glow-Riding.”  Because I can.

We became aware that my mother in law shall not ever be allowed to kayak on the river in the darkness alone, for she does not know where she is going at all.

MIL-Are we going the right way?!?

Kate-Well, we are going with the river.

MIL-But is this right?

All of us-yes.

Out of nowhere, MIL takes a hard left turn and heads for the river bank.

Me-You are no longer going the right way!

MIL- Yes!  This feels wrong.

We were pelted constantly in the face by mosquitos and had bats flying overhead.

But we surely enjoyed it.

Poor not-so-normal Norman spent the entire weekend trying to murder all the shadows while the other dogs swam and rested.

I am concerned for his sanity.

Our three dogs are very timid around the water, but my nieces’ dog, Walter, is a pro-champion swimmer.  At one point, the kids had thrown their football into the river and all our dogs were acting like damsels in distress, and then Walter took charge and showed them what’s what.’

My niece made me my favorite birthday dessert, and that made turning 40 that much sweeter.

Kate got in some snuggle time with her cute puppy, Niko.

She has recently made some changes to her after high school plans and is now going away to college-about 8 hours away from home.  She leaves in about a month.

We finally got Hadley back.  She has been traipsing across the continental US with Lily and family, visiting national parks and hiking and such.

(Hadley is on the left, Lily on the right)

And tomorrow marks 21 years that David and I have been married.

Twenty.

One.

Happy Wednesday!

Did you know that you can get sunburned so badly that your skin will bubble?

Until this week, I had no idea.  I have been trying to go to the river to water the new grass seed we planted, but it has been so very painful and we are in triple digit heat.  I went Monday and Tuesday, then came home on Tuesday with literal bubbles on my skin.

And David was like, “Dude.  You should probably not go anymore.”

So I am not.

It really hurts and I do not care for it.

I mean.  Look at it.

There are no water droplets on my skin,  That is all bubbles and such.  It is making me feel fussy.

I did not go outside at all on Wednesday to try and heal up.

Today, I decided to take cow inventory, and it is surely a good thing that I did because I found this little newbie-

And that was exciting and fun.  But then my skin started to sizzle and pop again, so I had to go back inside.

We are having a heat wave, People.  We are in the triple digits, and we no likey.  We can handle frigid temps, such as 12, but this 104 business is insane.

I believe that little one is the 17th calf born on our lands in the 2021.

David likes to give the boys super manly chores, and usually that is A-Ok, but today’s chore for LD was stressing me out.

He was supposed to be building a “cattle mineral feeder” and DO NOT ask me anything about it because I simply do not know.  But I do know that LD came in bleeding because he cut himself and he was trying to use my new guest hand towel and I was like,

“Stop!  Not my hand towel!”

And I got him a clean sock and we rushed to the clinic for four stitches on his thumb.

This is how I feel when David gives the boys these sorts of chores.

So we get to the clinic and the doctor was like, “Any plans for the 4th?” and LD was like, “Camping at the river” and the doctor was like, “Well you need to be very cautious around river water and not get your stitches wet,” and LD was like, “Oh, great!  So does that mean I don’t need to take a shower?” and I was like, *face palm*, and the doctor was like, “No, Son.  At your age you need a shower at least once a day.”

So that was special.

Alright.  Me and my bubbly skin are making the fam a meatloaf.  I find meatloaf to be a mediocre meal, at best.

And I need dinner ideas because I am sick and tired of coming up with ideas to feed these ravenous teens.

Have a favorite recipe or three to share?

Share away.

Our dogs probably hate camping.  At home, they run all about and are never leashed.  But we have closer neighbors while camping, so they must be contained.

Since they do not have the freedoms they are accustomed to, they must sit and watch David and I as we drink our morning cup of coffee . . . in the trailer that is nicer than our house.

Yes.  We went to the river this weekend.  Usually we go with many different family members, but this time, it was just David, the boys, Kate, and I.

Hadley is off roaming the continental US with her pal, Lily, and family.

Our family:  Lily can come over, but she needs to help us castrate calves.

Lily’s family:  Would Hadley like to join us on a huge family road trip complete with fun and merriment?

Here’s Hadley-

And Hadley and Lily, somewhere beautiful and all nature like and far away from us-

But anyways.  We went to the river.  David, who cannot ever travel lightly, insisted on taking one vehicle plus:  the skidsteer, two fourwheelers, three kids, three dogs, camping food, water jugs, and bags of clothes.

I felt like we should take two cars, because I get fussy when I feel crowded.  And at one point I told LD to get his sticky leg off of my sticky leg and then he told me he was tanner than me when he clearly was not.  We are experiencing record hot high temps over here, and David’s truck does not have working AC.  Woe unto me.

It was a pleasant ride.

Norman the puppy is completely obsessed with light and shadow and I fear that he might slowly be losing his mind.

He will literally jump up and try to eat the roof  (ceiling?) of David’s truck.  David loves it.

We got to the river and it was so way hot, but as soon as the sun goes down, being outside feels awesome.  So we sat and ate smores and enjoyed cool of the evening.

It is like over 90 degrees here, people!  That’s insane.

The next morning, we set to work on our projects, and we tried to start early to beat the heat.  David and HD were on some sort of nonsense with the skidsteer.  LD and I were mowing-he was on the riding lawnmower, and I on the push mower.  Kate was using the DR trimmer mower.  I sweated so much that sweat was visible on my shirt and that has never happened before, so I guess that is because I am 40 now.

Then we sprinkled a bunch of grass seed, because we have many bare spots, and HD “planted” them by going over them with the skidsteer tracks.  We then set up the sprinklers and fancied going on an extra long kayak ride.  Which sounded amazing, in theory.

But we forgot to pack sunscreen.  And we aren’t the best when it comes to sunscreen, I shall admit, because we rarely burn.

But, Reader.  We burned.

And we could feel ourselves burning as we kayaked down the river.  But there was nothing to be done but keep paddling and sizzling away.

I felt like we should all paddle with intensity and try to get back to our camp all speedy-like, but Kate was like, nah-imma gonna nap, and so that was annoying.  David and I would get a good lead, look behind us, and see that none of our children were there-and that is just poor parenting.  So we had to stop and wait for them, as our skin smoldered in the hot, hot sun.

At one point, we pulled up and waited by some cows, so that cheered me right up.

Pretty soon, LD comes sauntering down the river, happy as can be.  LD can entertain himself like no one I have ever met.  He kayaked on up to the cows and checked the genders of all four of their calves and called them out to us.  He beached his kayak and went swimming and skipped rocks and basically had the time of his life.

Finally, Kate and HD came down the river.  They were happily chatting away, and that was nice to hear because those two don’t get along very well.

We forged on for home.  Kate and HD continued to travel together, just a bit behind us, and David and I were together, and LD was toodling about happy as can be shouting “FISH!” anytime he saw a fish.

We got back and everyone was terribly sunburned.  This has never happened to our family.  It was so bad that-and you had better sit down for this-

David asked me for lotion.

!

We were in pain and tired and hungry.  I summoned whatever strength I had left and made something for dinner while David and HD took the 4-wheeler for the truck.

Our dogs will not swim, but it was so hot that Niko and Charlie went swimming willingly.

Norman could not join them for he was busy staring down shadows.

After dinner, I announced “Everything hurts and I am dying.  I am going to bed.”

And to bed I went.  Only to be awakened by Kate at some ungodly hour to be informed that LD was missing.

!

And I was so tired, I fell back to sleep while David dealt with it.

!

Turns out, he fancied joining a neighbor’s wedding.  And what fun!  It was probably exciting for him to see neighbors, since we don’t have those at home.

The dude who owns the river lot next to us got married and had a live band and fireworks and it was so loud, but that was ok, and that’s where LD was and all was well.

When we woke up, everyone was in pain and sure they could never see the sun again.  Poor HD helped David with outside chores for about an hour and then came in and got in his swimsuit to jump in the river because he was covered in sweat.

IT. IS. SO. HOT. HERE.

Like 100 degrees now.

Readers.  We can’t.  We literally canNOT. We are made hearty for the winters.  Not lightweight for summer heat.  We come premade with a good layer of blubber.

We are basically in survival mode now.  It hurts to even move.  On account of the sunburn, of course.  And David is making my poor boys go and gather hay bales in Farmer Brown’s field tonight!

In triple degree heat!

My babies!

I hate hay season.  I feel like David goes about it all wrong and if he just LISTENED TO ME, everyone’s lives would be easier.

But he does not.

Ok.  Quick knee surgery is scheduled for July 29th. Should be easy peasy-trim out of torn meniscus. Found out I might be teaching kinder, or I might be teaching 2nd, but I won’t know for some time.  Here is a video of Norman.  Enjoy.

Yesterday was my 40th birthday.  I don’t really want to be 40, but it has happened nonetheless.

The day began by taking the Dudes to the orthodontist.  Leading up to the appointment, I beg and plead with them to PLEASE make sure their teeth are clean.  They usually don’t do a swell job of brushing.  I suppose it is because they simply do not care.

But I care.  I care a lot.

After they were finished, the hygenist walked them out, as usual, and I prepared to hear how poorly their brushing skills had been.  But, alas.  I was told they were both taking, and I quote, “excellent” care of their teeth.  So that was a birthday miracle in and of itself.

A bit later, Hadley and I met up for pedicures and lunch.  (Kate was working)

With the orthodontist appointment, pedicures, lunch, and other errands, I had been in town for five hours, and I find being in town to be a loathesome activity and was quite ready to toodle on back to my cows.  I was planning on stopping for my free  birthday Dutch Bros drink, but then the idea of getting home even faster seemed much more appealing.  So I drove right by and hurried home.  Then I poured old pot coffee into a glass with ice, added a splash of almond milk, and, of course, a straw, and called it good.  So, I guess this is how I will be as a 40 year old.

David came home and he hung my new “Orchard” sign, of which I am absolutely in love with.

I now have three arrow signs on my property and I do not think that is too many at all.

Sign #2-

Sign #3

We turned our horrifically large garden into an orchard/berry patch.  I am no longer going to spend my whole life weeding around corn plants only for them to die because I am literally the world’s worst gardener.  I will buy my corn at the Winco.

It is so hot and dry here.  I don’t know how well the berries will do.  There are only a few starting, but they are getting nice and red.

We also have pears starting-

and apples, too.

And because I am 40 now, and apparently like to blog about plant life, let us look at the blossoming peony.

It is all very exciting.

Norman the puppy is hilarious and quite obsessed with attacking shadows.  We oft find him standing in the driveway, staring at a shadow, ready to pounce.

It consumes him.  For hours.

I am sad to say that Hazel is no longer in love with me.  I used to call her name, she would “moo” and coming running to me.  Now she moos maybe 25% of the time and no longer comes to me.  She prefers to eat hay.  She does let me pet her still.

Here she is, getting a sip of water with two other calf friends.  Matilda’s calf is on the left, Hazel is in the middle, and another calf is on the right.

I received many birthday greetings and well-wishes, and this one was on my favorites.

My niece remembered me dropping 4.2 million hints over the past year that I wanted my favorite dessert for my birthday, and she let me know she remembered.

It will be very yummy.

Happy Thursday!

This weekend, LD turned 13.  So, we have kids ranging in the ages of 13, 14, 17, and 18.  And it is just as easy as it sounds.

On his sixth birthday, he requested this fun Kit Kat cake.

And he has requested it each year since.

I am not sure why he was posing like that.  But he was sure to point out the lack of trucks in his cake.

We went to the river and we kayaked and enjoyed ourselves.

Here’s LD, jumping in-

It was also Father’s Day weekend, as well as my mother’s birthday and there were lots of celebrations to be had.

In honor of Father’s Day, I am sharing this throwback photo of David and the Fab Four from the days of yore.

From left to right-

Hadley, LD, HD, and Kate.

Life is still tricky.  I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and not thoroughly basking in the joy that is this season.

But now I have chickens!  And I can make them a river when needed.  And watching chickens get all geeked out about water flowing is a top notch plan for anyone feeling like they are not basking in the season they are dwelling in.

And no dogs have eaten chickens in many days, and that is fun and happy as well.

The other day, HD was pestering LD.

HD:  You are just dumb.

LD:  Uno-Reverse-Card!

Me:  What?

LD:  I told him  Uno Reverse Card.  That means he’s dumb.

Me:  Ah.  Nobody can say dumb.

I found it clever.  Albeit rude on all accounts.

Alright.

Let’s look a cute picture of LD from many years ago when he would eat one hamburger instead of 3.

Happy summer days are upon us, my friends. Days where I can pull weeds in my jammies and not wake the starving boys up until after 8am.  Days where my gas tank remains full and my kitchen a complete and utter disaster.

My new thing is audible, and I love to put my wireless earbuds (airbuds?) in and putter around the place.  I pretend to not hear the boys fighting and all is happy in the world.

I went and visited Hazel this morning.

Reader.  She didn’t follow me.  Nor did she knock into my legs to get milk.  She wanted to eat hay and just “tolerated” me.  It made my feelers sad.

I love her.

I checked in on Matilda’s calf, Tillie, and she is looking like the spitting image of her mother.

Hearty, robust, and a brat and a half.

And, of course, Maisy’s calf.  She is, to quote David, “A wiley little bugger,” so we are unsure of her gender, but we want her to be a girl, and we are holding on to that hope.

Are you wondering what a “wiley little bugger” is?  You are not alone.  Think of a hyper calf who chooses not to be roped.

Also, she has a cute, white face, like her mama.

Pita and Little Red have not chosen to flee.

So that’s good.

Thanks to David and the boys, I have a few areas now that I really love and enjoy “tending.”

I have lots of flowers to water and chickens to watch.  We transformed our overwhelmingly large garden into an orchard/strawberry patch and it is much easier to maintain.

Lest you think all is happy and merry over here, I would like be fully transparent and show you that there is a pig foot in a window well.

Why?  How?

Don’t know.  Don’t care.

Let’s focus, yet again, on the pretty clematis.

That’s better.

There is a part of our shop that has always been somewhat ideal to convert into an apartment.  We are contemplating doing that now because we kind of need space from our adult children, but the housing market in our area is ABSOLUTELY insane and no one who is from here can live here anymore.  Which is a travesty.

So, we are not completely sure, yet, but we might convert this room-

into an apartment.

Stand down, Reader!  We will charge rent of our offspring!

I don’t know.  I am stressed.  Life has thrown us a lot of curve balls lately, curve balls that I cannot yet discuss, but I am trying to stay positive and happy.

And, look!  A strawberry hath begun!

So.

Hope.

Since I am home more, and no longer teaching precious first graders (sob), I am able to observe the puppy brothers more, and I am sad to say that we have a problem.

The puppy brothers guard the cow water trough.  And they let the cows be as long as they stay in the area the puppies have allowed. But if the puppies are outside-and the cows wish to quench their thirst-the puppy brothers chase them off.  And I know from doing research in first grade that a cow needs to be able to drink a bathtub full of water each day, so this is going to be concerning.

Anyways.

Life is tricky.  I am stressed.  LD turns thirteen on Saturday.  Hazel doesn’t need me anymore.  But I might get strawberries soon.

Happy Thursday.

Having teens is super entertaining, especially as you watch them try to learn how to adult.

Kate was on the phone.  She was asked her name.  She replied, “Kate.”

Salesman:  Can you spell that for me?

Kate:  Sure!  K as in “cat.”  Oh!  Wait.  Hmmmm.

Life is challenging.

Ok!  Raise your hand if you remember “Wandering Heifer of the Hills.”

Last April, we had a heifer jump the fence and she had traversed many a mile and was later found with a calf residing at another farm.  And we had no idea she was with child, Reader!

Today, all the stars aligned, and we went to fetch her.

First, David bought like 10 cattle panels, because $1100 on cattle panels seems reasonable while trying to catch a heifer who originally cost you $800.

David, Hadley, HD, and I went to go and set up a makeshift corral in an attempt to lure the cow/calf pair.  LD was absent because he was invited to a sleepover.

I know!  More anxious I could not be.  Because, manners.

But the mama called and said things are going so well they would like to have him another night, and yes, by all means.  Take the boy.  I should probably Venmo her some grocery money.

Anyways.  We went and we got to this cow pasture.

And we started to build our little corral and put fresh hay in it and all the cows were like-

Anyways.

We needed just two and they are not docile, calm creatures.

They are in the back there.  On the left is the baby and on the right is the mother.  The baby is a reddish brown with a white face.  The mother is black with a white face.

I have named the baby, who is a girl, Little Red.

We have named the mother, Pita, and we have a reason for that, but it is PG.  Maybe even PG13.  But you cannot judge us because you did not have to deal with her.  And if you did, you would name her Pita, too.

Anyways!  After much pomp and circumstance, we were able to seperate Pita and Little Red from the herd and we loaded them into the trailer and now they are home and all is happy in the world.

And don’t worry.

I helped Kate out and told her that K was for Kangaroo.

Totally saved the day.

Later, Gators.

This gem sat posted on my fridge for a couple of weeks.

David, HD, and Hadley made no comment about it.  Sadly.  And can we not all admit the spider web illustration is worthy of note?

Kate, full of sass and 18 year old-ness, stood with her hand on her hip:  MOM.  Did you SERIOUSLY put this on the fridge?

Me: Looks like it.

Kate:  SERIOUSLY?

Me:  Yup.  It is on the fridge and I put it there.

And then she sighed and walked off.  It must be tragic to have to live with a mother such as I.

LD went to the fridge, presumably to get his 17th snack for the afternoon.  He stared at it and read it out loud, in a monotone 7th grader boy voice.

“You have been my friend.  That in itself is a tremendous thing.  I wove my webs for you because I liked you.”

Then he thought and stared and thought and stared.

LD:  Ma!  Is this supposed to be funny or sad?  I don’t get it.

So there you have it.

Because I want to drag out the end of the school year and keep feeling all sad that it is over, I feel the need to share this photo with you of myself and Gretchen.

Gretchen is the kiddo who made me the Best Teacher Ever button.

I wore it all day yesterday, shamelessly bragging to my fellow teacher pals about how I had been declared “best teacher ever” and they, sadly, had not.

She came to drop off her things and say goodbye.  I told her I was so excited she was here because I was wearing my favorite button.

G’s mom:  Ohmygoodness.  I told her not to give that to you.

Me:  Why not?  It is the best gift I have ever gotten from a kiddo.  Absolutely precious.

Little Miss G is moving across the country and I am not sure if I will ever see her again.

Bleeding hearts of the world, unite.

Anyways.  I don’t know if I have mentioned this before, but middle school boys can be gross in nature.  I live in constant fear of the state of their teeth and armpits and the atrocities that can build up in each location.

Me to LD: I need you to brush your teeth.

LD:  Got it, Mom.

Me:  No.  No, I do not think you “got it.”  I want you to stand really close to the mirror and smile and stare at your teeth.  Then I want you to think of the cutest girl you have ever seen and that she is about to kiss you.  I want your teeth to look good enough for that scenario.

LD:  Got it.

So he went and brushed his teeth.  Or so I am inclined to believe.  Because, really, I never truly know what that child is doing.

He was headed out the door for school.

Me:  DUDE!  Did you brush your teeth?

LD:  Yeah.

Me:  Would the cutest girl at school be ok with kissing you with your teeth looking the way the day right now?

LD:  Yeah.

Me:  Under no circumstances may you kiss any girls today, Bud.

LD:  Got it.

Our dogs are crazy and want to murder all birds.  I am putting my foot down and am determined to once again have chickens living in my cute coop.

I mean.  Look at it.  The sign alone is sure to envoke envy.

Anyways, our crazy dogs keep trying to eat chickens.  Sometimes they are successful.  But I am getting better and better at this and I know that in the end, I shall prevail.

They just make me happy.

Maisy’s calf is cute.  We are choosing to believe she is a girl so we can keep her.

And that would be ideal.

Happy Friday