The Lumberjack's Wife

Today, Hazel, in all her friskiness, decided to spar with a young heifer calf who is seven weeks younger than her.

At first, I thought Hazel’s mother was one of our heifer calves.  But David thinks he accidentally kept a cow who was part Dexter or Lowline.  This means absolutely nothing to me, but to the cow world, I think a Dexter or Lowline is a smaller breed.  So, Hazel will probably be on the smaller side.

This popped up in my Facebook memories today from two years ago:

That is Maisy and her newborn calf, along with the Dudes.  Maisy was HD’s first cow purchase and she calved soon after he bought her.  He later sold her and the calf to David.  To our knowledge, Maisy has not calved since.  David almost took her to the auction, but we just keep hoping she is pregnant.  Because she has quite the girth.

Everyday:

One of us:  Did Maisy calve?

The other one of us:  No.  But she looks HUGE.

One of us:  But she always looks huge.

The other one of us:  True.

And that will be our conversation regarding Maisy until one of the three of us passes into the hereafter.

A chick was stuck in its shell for an eternity.  If you ever google something like, “Should I help a chick hatch?” the answer will always be a resounding NO.

But I took pity and helped a chick hatch today.

It looked like this for hours and hours and hours:

After hours and hours and hours, I started to try and help it.  And then it hatched.

And at this point in time, it lives.  But who knows.

I went to see the surgeon yesterday regarding my knee.  The two main new problems from my recent injury are a torn meniscus and a bone contusion under my knee cap.  I will admit, I was kind of hoping for a knee replacement.  That being said,  I don’t REALLY know if I want a knee replacement, I just want a normal knee.  But that is not in the cards for me at this time and I will most likely be getting a scope (surgery) to trim up the torn cartilage.  The bone contusion just needs time.  And I need to go to therapy.

Happy Wednesday!

This picture popped up in my Facebook memories.

What has happened?  Where has six years gone?

I would like to see me just try and put button down shirts on the boys today.

Sometimes, if my knee is fussy, I can get the kids to feed Hazel a bottle.  HD went out and fed her the other day while I was rehabilitating myself in the hot tub.  He was shouting to me during the ordeal about how cute she was and how we should go into business flipping bottle calves.  When she was all done with the bottle, she started in again on her usual abuse and violent fury of trying to get milk out of a human.

HD:  Mom!  She is still hungry!

Me:  She is always like that!  I forgot to tell you!  Sorry!  She is going to knock into your legs the whole time you come back.

So he came up with this plan.

And it was a good plan.

There are a few outdoor projects we are working on.  One such project was called:

“Let’s not have to weed the orchard.”

We took our ridiculously large 100×40 garden and made about 2/3 of it an orchard.  The back 1/3 is for berries and weeds.

I purchased eight yards of bark and the dudes spread it around in the orchard.

Take that, Weeds!  It is basically a very large bark orchard with a few measly trees scattered about.

At one point during the bark spreading, the orchard was on fire.

Yes.  ON FIRE.

Me:  What are you doing?!

Boys (rolling eyes):  We have to burn pine needles, Mom.

Me:  What?  No!  What?  No!

I don’t even know anymore, Friends.  I don’t know how they know to do that and how they started a fire and how they didn’t burn our entire plantation down.

I do not know.

Nothing burned except pine needles.

David, Kate, and the boys took down our old chicken fencing this weekend in preparation to build higher fencing to keep the chickens in and the puppy brothers out.

Rest assured, the puppy brothers will slay chickens if given the opportunity.

But I have a dream!  I have a dream that I can walk out to my cute chicken coop with a wire basket and gather pretty multicolored eggs to feed to my moody teens.

Also.  David hung my new chicken coop arrow sign that I received for Christmas from Ma and Pa.

It makes me feel happy.

Because I am basically like Ms. Frizzle, of Magic School Bus fame, I was able to video a chick hatching for my online pupils.

My own children could not care less, and like, duh, Mom, we have seen a chick hatch before.  They were trying to eat lunch and furious that I was asking them to be quiet while I filmed the miracle of life.

But my students!  They think it is magical!

This five day old calf is already taller than 7 week old Hazel.

David:  I don’t know, Taylor.  Hazel is pretty small.  We might not want to keep her.

Me:  She will be my best friend forever.  Don’t ever take her away from me.

Because, seriously.  After being in town all day, what could be better than going out into the back pen, calling out for a calf, and having a calf run happily to you?

Nothing.  I submit that NOTHING is better than having a Hazel.

The other day, a man in front of us at church pulled a comb out of his shirt pocket and proceeded to comb his beard.  And I would like to state for the record that I had no idea that beard combing was a thing.

Thoughts?

I am  nearing the finish line for our grade level chick-hatching project.  The chicks are due to hatch on Sunday.  I came home today and opened an incubator to add water, saw a chick, and screamed my head off.

Lucky for David, I had just called him when I started screaming.

David:  Hello?

Me: AHHHHHHHH!

David:  Hello?

Me:  Sorry!  A chick?

David:  Huh?

Me:  A chick!

David:  Huh?

Me:  Nothing.  Have you heard from the accountant?

David:  Nope.

Me:  Ok, bye.

We have been waiting for days and days and days to hear how much we owe in taxes due to the sale of the rental house last year.

Selling houses.  It’s all fun and games until the tax bill is due.

Today, I had to take the boys to town with me.  HD and LD are polar opposites when it comes to personal appearance.  HD cares a bit too much and LD cares not at all.

He was getting ready to walk out of the house in basketball garb, socks, and muddy/poopy Crocs.

Me:  You cannot wear those.

LD:  Why not?

Me:  They are gross.

LD:  It is fine.

Me:  Nope.  I washed your sneakers.  Go find them.

Later, I walked into the living room as he was singing to the cat as song he had just then made up:

“Thank you, Mom, for washing my shoes!  They look really fantastic!”

So, I’ll keep him around.

I dropped the boys off at the gym to meet up with friends from school and play basketball.  When I picked them up, they were starving and LD was quite smelly.

Me:  Doooooooooood.  You are putting deoderant on everyday, right?

LD:  Well, not EVERY day!  It says it works for 48 hours.

Me:  E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y!

I drove through McDonalds for them and then LD had mayo on his face.  I handed him a wipe and told him to wipe his face.  I checked a bit later and it was still there.

LD:  Oh!  I thought you said MUSTARD was on my face.

Me:  But why would you look in the mirror and not wipe the mayo off?

LD shrugs and this is what it is like to raise an almost thirteen year old boy who is taller than you and likes to announce that he is growing  MAN HAIR on his legs.  May the Lord bless me and keep me.

Hazel is seven weeks old now.  I love her with my whole being.

David just bought three pigs because he likes to make everything smell.  The puppy brothers and Charlie feel it is their job to try and murder the pigs daily.  Even though the pigs are quite large and could easily murder them.

This morning, I went outside with Hazel’s bottle.  No cows were nearby, so I knew I would have to walk a bit to find her.  I started to scold the canines and Hazel came running out of the back 40 mooing and wagging her tail.

And the whole point of THAT story is to tell you that she knows my voice.  And I love her.

Finally, if you ever think you are having a bad day, think about Purple Cow #5.

Purple Cow #5 lives in a big pen with many other moooooooooody ladies, all vying for the same man.  Imagine being Purple Cow #5 and having one of your competitors poop directly on your head.

If that’s not sabotage, I don’t know what is.

Happy Friday!

Hazel spent had her first overnight sleepover in the cow pen with all the big girls.  David enjoyed torturing me about it, telling me she was surely ravished by coyotes and such.

But, alas.  She lived.

I make her a bottle and head out to the pen.  She will notice me and get up.

I don’t even have to call for her.  She just knows me.

Check out her cute little licky lips move.

AND . . . I love her.

Today when she was drinking bottle number two, our cow, Babs, became very interested.

Babs is a very nice and gentle cow.  I became hopeful for a moment that Babs, who is a nursing mother, might adopt Hazel and take her under her wing.  She allowed Hazel to sniff her udder, then Babs performed a very large bowel movement and walked away-  leaving poor Hazel to be stuck with her human mother.  I was hopeful that Babs would at least give Hazel a tongue bath for me, but no such luck.

Oh!  And now Hazel tries to eat hay.

She thinks she is hot stuff.

Are you wondering how many Hazel videos I can cram into one post?

You are not alone.

This morning, one of our cows calved.  This first video is not for the squeamish, as you can see things like afterbirth and the like.

And, yes, Hazel is with me in this video.  In case you couldn’t tell, she and I spend a lot of time together.

I checked on the new cow/calf pair about six hours later.  I love listening to the moos of the mama cow while she licks and gets to know her baby.

I am feeling plum fussy about my knee.  I am sitting here icing it and all I did today was housework and check on cows.  I see the surgeon on Monday and am just not sure what is going to happen.  But I kind of hope SOMETHING happens.

Happy Wednesday

Sweet little Hazel is 6 1/2 weeks old now.

She drinks three bottles a day, but acts like she needs 17.  After her bottle, she follows me around head-butting me and sucking on my pants.  After about ten minutes, she will give up and just go on a walk with me.

Yesterday, she and I went to try and figure out what on Earth David was doing with the bulldozer.

I don’t exactly know what David was doing on the dozer, but I do know that Hazel is my best friend.

***

We hired someone to build a structure at the river camping property.  We went to check it out and now we cannot wait until camping season begins.

It will be awhile.

We have to wait for the snow in the mountains to melt, the river to flood, and the flooding to go down.

Lame.

***

This weekend, almost all of my nieces and nephews came to my house.

One of my nephews goes to the same school that I teach at.  He is also in the same grade, yet he is not in my specific class.  Our team works very closely, however, so all first graders know all four teachers and we all do science together and so on and so forth.

For science, we are learning about baby mammals, baby birds, life cycles, and animal instincts.

1st grade nephew was very excited to come over and see the incubated eggs and meet Hazel.  In a couple of weeks after the eggs hatch, all the first graders get to come to school to meet the chicks and meet Hazel.

1st Grade Nephew:  Take my picture!  So my class can see that I was the first one to meet Hazel.

Me:  Ok.  Do you want me to send this picture to your mom?

Nephew:  Yeah, yeah, but mostly my teacher.

Then he helped me turn the eggs and he is excited that he will be a part of the asynchronous video lesson on hatching chicks.

Do you know what the word “asynchronous” means?  Don’t feel bad.  No one did until August 2020.

Stinking ‘Rona.

Later on a bunch of OTHER nieces and one nephew came over and Hazel got to have her third bottle early.

Youngest Nephew:  Taylor?  Are you like a kid mom AND a cow mom?

The next day, my dad came over.

Me:  Dad!  Do you want to meet Hazel?

Dad:  Nor really.

I know, Readers.  I know.  Maybe he is old and grumpy?  He was at the time doing something on his phone.  And we all know that technology is a struggle for him.

(Do you want to know how old that picture is?  Look at the child in the left front.  That’s HD)

Anyways, Mom and I went to the back deck and I called Hazel’s name and she came galloping towards us, because I am her mom and I love her.  So I made my father come and see and he feigned interest, but then when he saw how cute she was, I knew he was smitten as well.

Me:  Dad!  Look! She is peeing!  My calf pees!

Dad:  Yes.  That’s something.

Me:  Isn’t she the cutest?

***

David loaded up Hazel’s mother today.  For she is being sold.

She has YET to notice that I took Hazel.

David seperated our bull, Ep, from the cows a couple of months ago.  The idea was to keep him away from all of our lovely ladies so we could have some “control” over calving season.

One day last week, the cows decided they had enough of that nonsense and they breached the corral.

Ep is now roaming wild and free.  He is enjoying getting reaquainted with all of his lady friends.  And now we will probably have calves in December.  Which is less than ideal.

Mildred’s calf is odd.

I find him sleeping like this all the time:

So he makes me think he is dead, and I go to try and assist, and then he runs away from me.  So far, every time I think he is dead, he is really alive.  So that’s good.

Hadley turned 17.  So that’s weird.

Let us take a walk down memory lane.

Hadley, age 4.

Hadley (black shirt) and Kate running away from David.  He had caught a fish.

Hadley’s first day of kindergarten.

Hadley, age 6, with her birthday buddy cousin back in 2010.

And the birthday cousins last month:

When looking through photos, I found these three fun ones of Hadley and her Uncle Jason.

Remember Jason?

He is a good uncle.

And, so, she is 17.  Just like that.

She is kind, helpful, and tons of fun.  We’ll keep her.

Speaking of cute girls we want to keep . . .

Hazel is all hot stuff now and spends most of the day in the main cow pen.  I still baby her by putting her in the warm and cozy chicken coop at night with a heatlamp.

She enjoys eating and sucking on my pants.  She greatly dislikes when her bottle is empty.

The other morning, I was checking the cows with baby Hazel.  And I heard coyotes!

Like, for real!

But I knew David would not believe me.  So I sent him this video.

And I was, like, David!  Will they kill Hazel?

And he was, like, Probably!

So I had a new thing to worry about.

David:  Just send HD out there with his gun.

Me:  !

David:  It is fine.

Me:  !

Me:  No!

Me:  !

The boys finished up their basketball season.  We surprised HD with a pair of  basketball shoes that he wanted for his birthday.  They are blue and cost a pretty penny.

Also.  Size 12.  So that’s something of note.

They took second place and it was a fun season to watch.  Here is a fun video clip of the two of them.  HD (11) passing to LD (20).

And one of HD making a three pointer.

And thus concludes the 2020-2021 basketball season.

***

On Sunday, we had a big family scavenger hunt party to celebrate Hadley, HD, and one of my niece’s birthdays.  It was tons of fun and Jason and the fam even came.

Remember Jason?

Today is HD’s actual birthday.  He is fourteen and can we all agree that is impossible?

Here are some pictures.  For to look back upon.

Newborn HD:

HD with his first pair of glasses.

HD after his bulldozer fiasco.  You can read about that fun event here.

HD and LD after picking blueberries from our garden.

Look closely.

I solemnly swear to never delete this photo forever and ever.

Amen.

And here is this precious picture.

And this one from when he still smiled.

Hadley’s birthday is the day after HD’s.  When he was little, he had a hard time understanding that his birthday was over and his sister’s was the next day.

As evidenced by this photo:

Happy Tuesday!

When working with struggling readers, I have to check in and progress monitor them often.  One such student, we’ll call him Al, had a breakthrough week last week.  Like it was incredible.  He read beautifully and mastered some more sight words.  Al and I called Al’s mom over to the Zoom screen and the three of us had an “Al is the Best Reader Ever” party.

This week, Al regretted to inform me that on this day, his mouth could not say the short a sound.

“Mrs. M!  My mouth just can’t do it!  It can’t say the sound for “a”!  It just can’t!”

As he said “a”  in can’t multiple times.

Al is tons of fun.  Instead of submitting math last week, he submitted a motivational pep talk to his peers.  The kids have two math workbooks and they just finished their first one and we were moving on to the second one.

Al:  “You guys!  We did it!  And not just me!  All of us! We did a whole math book! And that is really something!  We did good!”

So, of course he received full credit.  And I sent the video to his mama and it was precious.  Because it is ok if he isn’t a math whiz kid, but he does have a solid handle on growing as a learner and encouraging others.

We are wrapping up our reading of “Farmer Boy.”  Have I mentioned I love that book?  Mostly I love Almanzo’s character.

David:  I know.  You tell me. Every night.  You like “Farmer Boy.”  I am aware.

Anyways. Back in my homeschooling days when my own kids were little, I used to let them color while they listened to a read aloud.  They seemed to listen better when coloring.  So I suggested my students try it out and see if they felt they listened better coloring or just listening.

One little gal, who thought she was muted, shouted to her people:”My teacher said WE CAN COLOR WHILE SHE READS US FARMER BOY!”  And it was super exciting.  And now my students double love Farmer Boy and coloring time.  And one girl drew a pink daddy elephant with a pink baby elephant and one boy drew me a picture of Hazel and labeled it:  Hazel the best cow ever.”

Speaking of Hazel-

I now permit her to be in the cow pen when I am home. And I check on her throughout the day by standing on the back deck and calling her name.

And, Reader.

She moos back to me.

My life is now complete.

When I check on the cows, she finds me and follows me all around.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

And have I mentioned that I love her?

David:  It’s like she thinks you are her mom.

Me:  EXACTLY.

Meanwhile, these two are living their best lives:

Here is our new daily game plan for the puppy brothers:

Strap on their wireless fence collars.

Kick them outside.  For all the whole entire day.

Try to remember to put food outside.

They don’t mind drinking out of the cow trough.

Bring them in at night for baths, food, and bed.

They spend their day monitoring cows and the horse, standing on top of hay bales, and finding mysterious body parts. They are happy.

Last night, I was checking on cows, as I am wont to do, and found this calf:

Calf 214.  And this was the second time I saw him like this.  So, I called David.

David: Whose calf is it?

Me:  I need to check my book.

David:  Can you give it a shot?

Me:  Sure.

So, I went into the house and got the shot all prepped and such and checked my book.  And, Reader.

Calf 214 belongs to Mildred.

Mildred, the most terrifying cow.

I told David that if he didn’t hear from me soon, he could presume I had been murdered.

David:  Ok.

So, I am out there stalking this calf with a syringe and needle, and this fiesty little guy kept running away from me.  And after, like, an hour, I was like, ‘Taylor.  He is obviously not dying.” And I gave myself permission to quit.

Let us hope that was the correct decision.

This little boy/girl was born on Tuesday.

And on Tuesday he was all newborn and weak.

But then on Thursday, he discovered he had legs!

And what fun!

Here he is running around with near his Mama, Purple Cow Number 5, and Purple Cow #5’s heifer calf.

Purple Cow #5 is still a bit muddy, but cleaning up nicely from her little mud-venture.

Please notice she still has a halter on.

Ask me how we are going to get it off of her.

Go ahead.

Ask.

And, lastly, we believe this cow is ready to calve.  And every day, I check on her.  And everyday I text David inappropriate photos of her rear end and inform him of any discharge I might be seeing.

Well, today.

Today, she was shaking her booty back and forth.  For like a half hour.  And for why?

And, no, she was not scraching her back end on the bale feeder.  I have video from that angle, too, however, it was brought to my attention by my teacher team that sometimes it is “gross” if I show cow privacy area photos.

Who knew?!

And she has not yet calved.

The boys will end their basketball season tomorrow.  They have made it to the championship game!

Hadley turns 17 next week.

HD turns 14.

I am old.

Happy Friday!