The Lumberjack's Wife

I am up to my eyeballs in all things 6th grade at this point in time. In T minus 7 days, I will be THE 6th grade teacher.
THEEEE teacher.
Of a SCHOOL.
Like for reals. Or realz. Whichever you prefer.  But don’t worry.  I won’t teach 6th graders to write nonsense like “realz.”  I am much more professional than that.  Totes.

Sixth graders.  They are not for the faint of heart.  But I am excited.  And nervous.  And anxious.  And terrified.  And feeling like I must analyze everything 18 times because, let’s face it, I have no idea how to teach 6th graders.

Pray for my husband.

Also, I find this humorous:

But that is neither here nor there.

I just thought I should dust off ye olde blog so I could let you know why ye olde blog has not been posted in as of late.

IT’S BECAUSE I AM IN TOTAL FREAK OUT MODE.  But to the casual observer, I appear as if I am cool, collected, and have everything under control.  I am talented like that.

Alright.  We must move on.  Because I just can’t deal with the stress of it all.

***

Updates?  Stuff is happening, I am just not blogging.  Here is a quick list, for your reading enjoyment.

1)  David sold his truck.  We have had that truck for 10 years, so it is sort of weird.

2)  David want to buy a new truck.  It is sure to be far too large and ridiculous.  Just you wait.

3)  I am a bit stressed because, and I am not sure if I mentioned this or not, I AM ABOUT TO TEACH 6TH grade.

4)  Basketball season has finally ended.

Oh.

Darn.

Seriously.  We had basketball practices and games coming out our ears.

5)  Interesting fact:  Handsome Dude is quite the little basketball player.  If I do say so myself.  He can’t aim into the toilet for the life of him.

But shoot baskets?

Check.

He is in the yellow shirt with the black jersey.

And here is his shot going in:

He made about 20 baskets that day!  It was a tournament, so that was over three games.  But he is quite the little basketball-player-man.

6)  Now, Little Dude on the other hand . . .

Little Dude sort of “dance-plays.”  I have some photos for you.  I would like you to please notice how his arms are always blurry in the photos.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

The reason why his arms are so blurry is because he was basically in a constant twirling state.

Basketball is like a form of dance for the lad.

And he performs it well.

7)  I am stressed out lately.  It’s because I am about to teach TWENTY-NINE 6th graders.  David bought a jumbo bag of peanut M&Ms.  Taylor+stress+copious amounts of chocolate=no good.

Seriously.  The madness must stop.

8)  A pig died.  But we don’t know why.  The end.

9)  The horses keep getting out.  David and the girls had to go on a rescue mission yesterday to retrieve them.  This fun caravan is what returned from that adventure:

David riding one horse.

The other horse following because that is what horses do.

The girls following on a 4 wheeler.

10)  I better sign off.  David will be home soon and I need to make dinner and worry about teaching 6th grade.

I wonder if he is bringing home chocolate?  We finished off the M&Ms yesterday.

Later, dudes.

We recently returned from our trip to Disneyland.  So, without further ado, here is our Disney Recap.

Please.  Try to contain your excitement.

Little Dude was excited for two things, and two things only.

1)  The plane ride.

2)  The bus ride from the airport to the hotel.

When we got on the plane, he sat by the window.  The entire flight, he looked out the window and the excitement never wore off.

Handsome Dude was terrified about everything.

Do planes crash?

Do people die on planes?

What state are we going to?  Tennessee or California?  Are there earthquakes at California?

Are there earthquakes at Disneyland?

Are there hurricanes?

Tornadoes?

Basically, he wanted to know all the possible ways tragedy might befall him on this fun-filled journey.

We arrived at our hotel on Saturday evening and Auntie Datenut drove out to meet us for dinner.  We were so confused and lost.  Very tourist-ish.  We started out on our venture for food at 7pm.  I think we had food in front of us at 9:30pm.  These things are hard for us.  The boys fell asleep right before their food came.

***

The next day, we went to Disneyland.  As people do.

Look at us!  Wearing shorts and flip-flops in February, of all things!  Meanwhile, back at home, it was snowing.  We were so sad to miss out on our puffy coats, chapped lips, and boots.  Can you tell?

Handsome Dude was still afraid of everything.  Our first ride was Pirates of the Caribbean.  We had to go through all the possible forms of disaster that might come on this ride.

Will the boat sink?

Are the pirates real?

Do the pirates want to “get” him?

Is that fire real?

Will the boats crash?

What if the boats sink?

Disneyland.  It is stressful for six year olds.

He went on the ride and declared it “awesome.”

From that point on, I gave him very little info on the rides he was about to go on.

For example, we called “Haunted Mansion, ” simply the “Mansion.”  And he thought it was funny.

Space Mountain?  We weren’t sure, but we thought it was a ride through space?

Matterhorn?  A nice bobsled ride through a mountain.

Judge me not!  He had a grand time, so long as he wasn’t calculating the odds of death for each attraction.

Here are some photos of our trip, for your viewing pleasure, of course:

The girls with their new, dapper friend.

The boys at Toon Town.

David and the bambinos at Toon Town.

Look how happy David is.  Warms my heart.

We went on a Mickey Ferris Wheel sort of cage ride?  Not sure what to call it.  But, here is one half of our crew:

From left to right:

Handsome Dude, Daisy Mae, Sweet Pea, and my mom.

And the other half:

My dad, Little Dude, myself, and David.

Sweet Pea, our new friend Jessie, Daisy Mae, and Handsome Dude.

Here is a picture from California Adventure-that is the Mickey Mouse Ferris Wheel I mentioned mere moments ago.

Here are the six of us at the Cars Land area of California Adventure.

And here are Daisy Mae and Little Dude-

Our package included a Character Dining Meal at Goofy’s Kitchen, and here are the kids with Chef Goofy:

Minnie Mouse came to visit our table:

***

While we were waiting in line for a ride (which you do a lot of at The Disneyland), David received a call on his cellular device.

It was about pigs.

So, there we were.  In southern California.  Standing amongst 4.2 million other Disneyland goers.  And my husband, the hillbilly at heart, was saying all sorts of crazy things like:

“Yeah, they’ll probably be ready to butcher in April or May.”

“Well, you will have to pay per the pound by its hanging weight.”

“You just tell the butcher what types of cuts you want.”

It was epic.  And he sold 2 pigs right then and there in the line for Pirates of the Caribbean.  And it was the biggest smile he had the entire trip.  I kid you not.

***

And this, my friends, is the best picture of all.  My DAD.  Hilarious.  Check him out on the Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters ride.

You can see the excitement dripping off of him, can you not?

Happy Weekend!

Well.  I survived my week of subbing in the sixth grade.

Barely.

Wow!  Throwing 27 rowdy 6th graders in one class room and spending all day with them can certainly keep things spicy!  Doesn’t even try your patience at all . . .

I kid!  I jest!

But, seriously.  Wow.

For the most part, the week went ok, although challenging.  BUT Thursday.  THURSDAY!  THURSDAY.  Thursday was really not so good.  I went home on Thursday feeling quite discouraged and worried.  To add to the joy, I woke up at 2:30am just so I could dwell on the events of the prior day even more.  I could not go back to sleep after that.  So, Friday, I went in to face the aforementioned rowdy 6th graders on just a couple hours of sleep.

Thankfully, they were so much better and the day went very well.  I would not have been able to survive that week without the support, advice, and kindness from the principal and other teachers.  They totes get an A+.

So, I survived Friday, but I was crazy tired.  Normally, we drive an hour into church on Friday nights and don’t get home until after 10pm.  I knew there was no way I could do that, so we stayed home.  David had a class on Friday, and was not home until 9:30 that night.

I went to bed around 5:30pm.  I remember feeding my kids something for dinner and letting them know that -YAY!- tonight was surprise movie night!  So, I was basically out of it and trying to stay coherent since I was the caretaker of the four cherubs.

Around 8pm, I received this text from my dad:

FWD: We’re hoping to be in your area tomorrow between 2 and 4.  Does that work for you if we arrive at your house somewhere in that time frame?

Now, remember, dear readers.  Taylor is tired.  Taylor is not thinking clearly.  So many different thoughts are running through Taylor’s head.  Thoughts including, but not limited to:

I see this is a forward.  Who is the message originally from?

Is someone wanting to come to my house tomorrow?

Why do 6th graders throw pencils across the room at each other?

Is my dad confused and sending me a message that does not involve me?

I wonder if David will bring me home a Dairy Queen Blizzard?

I text my dad back with this deep thought:

?

Because that was about all the energy I could put in to that question.

About ten minutes later, I get this text from my brother, Danny.

From Dad (not sure why he couldn’t just send this to you): Danny and crew are coming for a couple of hours tomorrow.  If you can make it, great.

Well, I am in no state of mind to be making plans for the next day.  I need to talk to David, and David is still in his stupid class and not bringing me a Blizzard.  So I just put my phone down and go back to trying to watch TV and not sleeping.  And here are the new thoughts running through my head:

Why is texting so hard for my parental units?

Why do 6th graders snap rubber bands across the room at each other?

What are my own kids up to right now?

I wonder if they will do the dishes for me.

Will a Blizzard be able to stay all Blizzard-y and frozen for an hour car ride?

Why do 6th graders take Crystal Light powder packets, dump them on the inside of their desks, lick their fingers, and then eat the powder?

A few minutes later, I get this text from my dad:

Danny and crew are coming for a couple of hours tomorrow.  If you can make it, great.

I respond to him and tell him I am really tired and I will call him tomorrow.  I go back to my hard work of “staying awake until David gets home.”

Why do 6th graders steal stuff of the teacher’s desk?

I really want to see Danny’s new baby.

Don’t we already have plans tomorrow?

Is it easier to homeschool, or teach 6th graders?

About 10 minutes later, I get this text from my mom:

Danny said that they plan to stop by our house between 2 and 4.  Said you’d be welcome to come and meet the baby.

Ok!  I get it already!

These people are confusing to deal with.  I found out later from my mother what the sitch was.

My mom and dad were at a restaurant eating dinner.  Brother Danny texted them and informed them that he would be in their area between 2 and 4 and to let me know.  My family has not gotten to meet their new little baby.

My dad decided to text me to invite me.  He send the text to Danny.  Then he tried to forward it to me, but he forwarded the wrong one.  Instead of trying again, he texted Danny to ask him to forward me the one he sent Danny, that was originally meant for me.

Meanwhile, my mother is trying to explain to him how he could have made this process much faster, but he would hear none of it.  Worried that I am not aware of my invite, she decides to text me as well.

So, there you have it.

***

Subbing all week zapped all my energy.  May I introduce you to Mount Laundry?

That’s right.  Be jealous.

***

We have had a hard time keeping our house warm this winter with our wood stove.  I believe there are two main reasons contributing to this:

1)  We had so many truck problems during prime wood-gettin’ season, that we don’t have enough quality wood.  We have been getting wood off of our property, which does not burn as hot.  I used to think David was crazy when he would give me ye olde “Tamarack is the best wood because it burns hot and slow” speech.  I would like the records to show that he is SO RIGHT.

2)  I am not home during the day to keep the fire going.  When I was homeschooling, I would keep the fire going all day.  Now, I am not, so when we get home it takes longer for our house to warm up after being cool all day.

David wanted to buy a BIGGER wood stove.  Wood stoves cost many dollars.  I told him “No Way, Jose.”  So this was his solution:

It was actually quite brilliant.  He cut a hole in the floor of the main floor so that the heat from the basement would travel up more quickly.

He put nice grate things over it and it looks all professional.  And much cheaper than a new wood stove!

Happy Sunday!  Are you watching the Super Bowl?  I am not.  I am going to a play and shopping with my mom.  Isn’t life grand?

The girls had a friend stay over last night.  She has been friends with Sweet Pea and Daisy Mae since Kindergarten.  Their friend is an only child, and sometimes I wonder what she thinks of our hectic household.

The girls had a basketball game this morning.  We needed to leave at 8:15am.  Did we leave at 8:15am?

Nay.  Nay, we did not.

Here’s the series of unfortunate events:

1.  David and I woke up first.  We require a couple of gallons each of coffee before we can function.  This process takes awhile.

2.  David and I took our showers and then proceeded to wake the five children.  The time is about 7:15am.  We inform them all of the planned departure time and advise them to get their hineys in gear.

3.  The boys come and and fix themselves cereal.  Cereal and milk are all over the place.  But that is neither here nor there.

4.  At our house, only one person can be in the shower at a time.  We are modern like that.  The girls take their sweet time showering and putting their hair in fancy braids.

5.  Because everyone knows we all have time for fancy braids.

6.  While the boys are waiting for the shower, I instruct them to go clean their room and make their beds.  I also ask them to please pick out clothes and get upstairs for a shower soon.

7.  I check on them 15 minutes later.  Their room is a disaster and they are playing DS on the top bunk.

8.  Yes.  My children obey me. Envy my parenting skills.   Go ahead.  Ask me any parenting question.  I shall advise you.

9.  I put on my “Mean Mom” pants and STRONGLY ENCOURAGE them to clean their rooms and make their beds.

10.  The girls are still doing their hair.

11.  I check on the boys 10 minutes later.  They have spent the entire time trying to fix a truck.

12.  I pick out their clothes and place them in the shower.

13.  I lay out each of their outfits on my bed.  I tell them to get dressed quickly.  I remind them that a guest is here, so they need to remember their privacy.

14.  The girls are still doing their hair.

15.  David begins to load the wood stove.  I don’t know how he does it, but he almost always manages to set off the smoke detector.  The boys are mimicking the sound from behind my closed door. It adds a pleasant ambiance to our hectic morning.

16.  The girls have finished their hair.  They come upstairs.  The time is 8:18am and they inform me that they have not had breakfast.

17.  I start to make them toast to go.

18.  The boys have ceased making fire alarm sounds and are now breathing murderous threats upon one another.  Handsome Dude comes out of the room, looking all svelte and handsome.  He has chosen to put on Little Dude’s clothes, so his pants are now capris.  He looks extremely proud of himself, although he has not put on his glasses so his eyes are crossed.  Little Dude, the child breathing the murderous threats, is naked and chasing his brother out of the room screaming that Handsome Dude “stole his underwears.”

19.  Yes, I meant to say “underwearS.”

20.  Little Dude remembers that we have a guest.  He takes his hand and covers an itty bitty portion of his front privacy region.  If you get my drift.  And I think you do.

21.  Poor sleepover friend is trying to eat her toast while watching her friends’ brothers fight over underwears.

22.  I send the boys back to the room and instruct Handsome Dude to give Little Dude his clothes back.

23.  The girls have finished their toast.  It is now 8:30.

24.  Little Dude, still naked, runs out of the room and back down to his room to find underwears.

25.  I don’t know why.

26.  We get in the car around 8:40.  We are all quite impressed with our punctuality.

27.  The girls’ team played great!  Each girl got a basket and the team won!

And that is the end of our hectic morning.

You’re welcome.

***

Meanwhile, back at the ranch . . .

As I was folding laundry this afternoon, I noticed my husband out the window:

I don’t know what to do with him.  Why does he feel the need to do such things?

Apparently, these trees just HAD to be trimmed.  He is odd.

We are going on a date tonight!  D-A-T-E.  My parents get to deal with THE BOYS.  Pray for them.

Also, all next week I am subbing in the 6th grade.  Yikes!  I am a bit nervous and I hope it goes well.

Happy Weekend!

It is 9:00am on a Wednesday morning and I am sitting at home.

Alone.

I cannot believe how much my life has changed since I put the kids in school.  Honestly, I have no idea how I did it all before.  No wonder I basically had a meltdown!

Even though I was not asked to sub today, I am at the school subbing most days.  Someone asked me the other day if working outside the home was more stressful than homeschooling.

No.

Homeschooling was much more stressful for me.  I know it is not the same for everyone, but homeschooling became such a huge burden for me-and it felt like more than I could handle.

Would you like to hear a strange twist?  I am liking teaching.  Remember?  I went to school to be a teacher many moons ago, but was always a stay at home mom.  I am considering a 3 month long term sub job at my kids’ school in the sixth grade later this year.  I don’t know what will become of it, but it is kind of exciting for me.

The kids are doing well in school.  We have definitely had our good days and bad days, however.  But they have all seemed to be doing very well since we returned from Christmas break.

I don’t have many exciting things to write about.  Here are a few things to update you on:

1)  Daisy Mae is having trouble making “girl” friends at school.  Apparently, most of the girls in her class are in a “club.”  In order to be in the “club,” you have to be “dating” someone.

4th grade.  Mmmm-hmmmm.

So, Daisy Mae informs them that she cannot date (Holla!) and spends the entire recess playing basketball with . . . boys.

Ha!  I think it is hilarious.  And ironic.  And ridiculous.

2)  Sweet Pea has been putting on her brave pants and asking girls if she can sit by them at lunch.  Before she wouldn’t ask anyone and would just sit alone.  I told her to just try asking them.  She was terrified to do it, but she did it!  And the girls said “yes”!

3)  Handsome Dude is doing really well with reading and math at school.  He is extremely self motivated (this was not the same child I homeschooled, FYI) and is reading about 50 words a minute more than he did at the start of the year.  He is very responsible with his homework and doesn’t need to be reminded.

Yes.  That was Handsome Dude I was speaking of.  MY Handsome Dude.

4)  Little Dude.  Little Dude is learning how to respect personal space boundaries at school.  He tends to get VERY CLOSE to people’s faces whilst talking to them.  Apparently, some of the other Kinders do not enjoy someone else’s nose on their face while being spoken to.

Who knew?!

But Little Dude is doing well and enjoys his class.  His teacher is the bee’s knees and plans many fun activities for them all day long.  He is loving it.

5)  Actually, I think highly of all the teachers at their school.  They are all amazing.

6)  We are going to Disneyland next month!  Exciting, is it not?  Little Dude is mostly excited about the plane ride, and then the bus ride from the airport to the hotel.

Disneyland sounds so-so.  But a BUS RIDE! . . . get out of town.

Thanks for checking in!  I know I don’t post nearly as much as I used to.  Life has completely changed and we are all still getting readjusted.

Happy Wednesday!

Oh my goodness, it has been awhile since I have blogged and I have many things to share.

A List.

1)  Sweet Pea turned 11.  I don’t know why, she just did.  I suggested that instead of turning from 10 to 11, she turned from 10 to 9, but she would hear none of it.

Here she is with her birthday buddy, Aunt Lisa.

Sweet Pea is very sweet indeed.  Here she is reading to Little Dude and her two cousins.

2)  When we get together for birthdays with the Maliblahblah side, we can’t just sit around and eat cake.

No.

We must do something . . . fantastic.  And crazy.  And dangerous.

This year’s event?

Broom hockey.

This was terrifying for me.

Question.  In every single movie where people are on a frozen lake, what happens?

Hmmm?

Hmmm?

The ice cracks and they perish.  The end.

Luckily, no ice cracked and there was no perishing.

Little Dude was feeling the world was full of injustice because, apparently, no one was passing to him enough.  So he has a few moments of solitude and despair on the ice.

He got over it.  Eventually.

Handsome Dude was a little stud on the ice.  He was running just like he was on the ground.  He was so awesome, he challenged everyone to a race.

He beat everyone.   Even his dad.

And even Uncle Alex.

I am just thankful there were no concussions.

3.  Handsome Dude drew this picture for Sweet Pea.

Precious.

4.  The girls have been afraid to go into the horse pasture for awhile now.  I am not sure how it all started, but they hadn’t really paid much attention to the two horses for awhile.  David and I were starting to think it was ridiculous that we were paying so much money to feed the horses and no one would even pay attention to them.

So, over Christmas break, I M-A-D-E them go and brush the horses.

Ain’t gonna lie, folks.  There was weeping and gnashing of teeth.  But I still made them do it, and the next thing I knew, this is what I saw:

Later, I asked them how it went.  They were so cute.  They said they sang a praise song with the words, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” before going in and . . .

“Mom!  It totally worked!  The horses weren’t mean to us!”

Miracles happen everyday, people.

5.  I took the girls to the Rock and Worship Roadshow.

This was their first concert experience and they were definitely wowed.  They really liked Third Day, but their favorite part was meeting Elizabeth Nelson from Positive Life Radio.

6.  I have had some trouble recently getting out the door on time.

Recently?  Oh, wait.

That’s all the time.

But, anyways.  Little Dude is always the slowest.  He has a hard time getting himself ready in a timely fashion.  Well, last Monday, he was ready.  I mean, it was beautiful.

Shoes and socks on.

Teeth brushed.

Coat on AND zipped.

Backpack on.

It was definitely a first.  And then, THEN, his brother decided to spray silly string all over him.

?

Because . . .

?

I don’t know.  It was not good.  We were late.  I was cranky.  Silly string was everywhere.  Not good.

Later on that week, we were trying to get to town.  I sent Sweet Pea out to get the eggs, and she forgot to shut the coop door.  So all the hens were having a field day.

Does this surprise us?

No.  No, it does not.

So, instead of leaving, we are all chasing hens and hoping to get them all back to safety.

And then HANDSOME DUDE (are we sensing a pattern here, hmmm?  HMMMM?) decided to use a net and got a hen stuck in the net.

“Hello?  Yes, this is Taylor and I am going to be all late and inconsiderate because we have to save the life of hen who is trapped in a net.  My apologies.”

Sweet Pea got right to work trying to free the hen, but it was too tight and we had to cut the net.

Sorry, David!

Check out Sweet Pea.  She even has her purse with her.  I told you we were on our way out the door!

No hens were harmed during the making of this tragic afternoon.

Alright.  That’s all I got.

Later, dudes.

We have been busy celebrating Christmas. I didn’t take many photographs, but I have a few to share with you.
Last Sunday, we celebrated Christmas with my side of the family. It was a bit early, but it was the only day we could get together with my brother’s family. Sadly, Sister Meagan could not make it home for Christmas this year.
Remember Sister Meagan?

Boo to a Christmas sans Meagan.  We shall see her in a month or so, though.

Anyways.  We had a lovely time at my parents’ house.  They made a delicious lasagna dinner and a good time was had by all.

Here is a cute shot of Daisy Mae and her cousin wearing their new Nike (ooh-la-la) sweatshirts.

Yes.  That would be Little Dude’s hands giving his cousin “antlers.”  He is so helpful like that.

David was in charge of disposing of the wrapping paper and boxes.

He took the job quite seriously.

***

Christmas Eve.

Every year for Christmas Eve, we do the same thing.  We go to church, and then we spend the evening with David’s side of the family.  We exchange gifts and we have a White Elephant gift exchange.

In all the years we have been married, I do not believe David has had Christmas Eve off, unless it fell on a weekend.  This year, for the first time ever, he had it off.  David does not handle “days off” very well.  Around 10am, he asked me if I minded if he went and worked on the log splitter.  I was shocked he made until 10am.

Yes!  We have a log splitter.  It works for about 2 hours, then David spends 2 weeks repairing it.  Then he will use it for about 2 hours, and then spend another 2 weeks repairing it.  It is a vicious game.  And I believe the log splitter is winning.

Around 11, he asked me if I minded if he went to town and got parts for said log splitter.  This is not shocking.  We spend all our monies on livestock feed and auto/machine parts.  We enjoy it, apparently.  Sadly, the store did not have his parts so he was not going to be able to go to town.

About 10 minutes later, he comes and finds me yet again.

David:  Do you mind if I go and look at a pig feeder?

Me:  What happened to the one you made?

Yes.  He made one.  Spent an entire day.

See?

David:  They are spilling food out of it and wasting a bunch.  I think I need to buy this other one.

Me:  Ok, will you be back in time?

David:  Yes.

Handsome Dude:  Can I go with you?

David:  No.  This guys sounds shady.

Me:  What?!  Can you please not be a Christmas Eve Craigslist Fatality?

Handsome Dude:  Please can I go?  PLEASE?

Me:  If YOUR DAD says it isn’t safe, then it is definitely not safe.

So.  Off David went to buy a pig feeder.  From a shady guy.  On Christmas Eve.  While he was gone, I was in charge of coming up with 6 white elephant gifts.  Since David was not there to protest, Daisy Mae and I came up with an epic gift.

David hates this picture.  His siblings think it is hilarious, so they printed out a copy and put it on the “brag board” of the sportsman’s store.  David takes it down, someone else finds it again and puts it back up.  It is a lovely tradition.

I had the photo and kept it hidden away.

For such a time as this.

Daisy Mae found the perfect frame and we wrapped it up.  We find ourselves to be hilarious.

I am happy to report that David survived the shady Craigslist exchange and he somehow was able to talk to the guy down on his price.  Shady guy wanted $200.  David paid $50.  Not sure how he worked that out.  It was a Festivus Miracle!

Say hello to our new pig feeder.

Not ridiculous at all.

Shore is purty, ain’t it?  And if you look closey, the word “DEAL” is written on it.  So, there you go.

We went and participated in our Christmas Eve festivities.  The purple glitter photo of David was a hit, but I was a nice wife and stole it back so it didn’t end up on a “brag board” again.

***

On Christmas Day, we were home in the morning and opened our gifts.  Here are some shots of the kids.

David did NOT get me anything off of Craigslist for Christmas.  He was just messing with me and was making it all up.

David for the win!

He had my mom help him pick out some new clothes for me at my favorite store and I love them all.

And I am really glad I didn’t get a Christmas goat.

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas!

Little Dude.

Dude is a bright boy.  He is kicking Kindergarten’s heiny.  However, there a few, oddities about him.

For one, the boy cannot dress himself worth beans.

Bet you wouldn’t believe me when I tell you that same boy can read and do math at more than a grade level ahead of his peers.

Yup.  His future is bright!

Little Dude just got out of the shower.  It is past noon on a Saturday and it just finally happened.  Oh sure, I have been asking him since about 10am (don’t judge me.  It’s the first day of Christmas break, people!).  Little Dude keeps “disappearing.”  I forget that I asked him to get showered, and he goes and hides upstairs and plays Hot Wheels.

Well-played, Little Dude.  Well-played.

Finally, around 11:45, I put on my Mean Mom Pants and yelled calmly asked him to get INTO THE SHOWER.  And he did.  And he sang and danced and had a grand old time.

Now, the problem becomes getting him OUT of the shower.  But I digress.

He finally shuts the shower off, but he spends another 10 minutes using his towel to mop up all the water inside the shower.  We do not require this of him, nor do we wish him to do this.

Yet do it, he does.  Every. Single. Day.

It’s just part of the magic that makes Little Dude who he is.

After he has thoroughly dried the shower, he comes out buck naked.  No towel in sight.  He begins to have a conversation with me about Hot Wheels, all while I am calmly repeating:

“Please put underwear on.”

This is the same child who will flip out if anyone goes in the family changing room with him after he has gotten out of the pool.

While Little Dude is all naked and chatting with me, I notice his hair was not washed during his 20 minute shower/song/dance time.  I know this, because it is dry and still has that lovely boy bedhead look.

Me:  Dude.  You didn’t wash your hair.

LD:  I didn’t?

Me (obviously no longer caring about the unclean hair):  Can you please put on underwear?

Little Dude looks down at his private areas.

LD:  Right!

And off he runs.  To hide behind the couch with his brother and play “Surprise Mom.” Still naked.

My parenting skills are clearly to be envied.

***

Every day when we come home from school, we look for Heffie.

Heffie was once our horse, but she was bullied by her fellow equine cohorts, so we gave her to our neighbor.  It is fun for us to see her whenever we want.

We also see this:

The turkeys have a meet and greet every afternoon around 3pm before flying up into the trees to roost.

Fun Fact:  I don’t really know what the word “roost” means and I do not believe I used it correctly in a sentence.

I care not.

***

Here’s an interesting convo between David and I.  It happened just last night.

Me:  We don’t have to go to town tomorrow, do we?

David:  Maybe.  I kind of need to deal with your Christmas present.

(Deal!  Ha.  Gift giving stresses him out.  He about threw a party when I told him we didn’t have to do stocking stuffers for each other this year.  But, I digress.)

Me:  Ok.   When will you know?

David:  I am waiting on a call from a guy.  If I get a call, I have to go.  If not, I won’t.

Hmmm.  I have a strange feeling my present isn’t coming from a mall.

Sounds a bit “Craigslist-y” to me.

What on EARTH could he be getting me from Craigslist?  I asked for some clothing items and a crockpot.

He’s probably getting me a goat or something.  And I’ll have to help build the fence.

I kid!  I jest!

But, seriously.  I’m scared.

***

I cannot believe how close Christmas is.  The kids just finished school yesterday before the break.  I was in the office at the end of the day when they called in a little girl.  She doesn’t have a winter coat, so one of the teachers bought her one and wrapped it all up.  The present said  To_________ From Santa.

I wish you could have seen the look on that little first grader’s face when she excitedly walked to the school bus with her present.  She was so happy!  It made me tear up a bit.  I enjoy hearing stories about people doing kind things for others, and it was great to witness one.

I love all the teachers and staff at my kids’ school.  They truly care about the kids and do such a great job.

Do you have a fun Christmas memory to share?  I’d love to hear it.

Merry Christmas!