The Lumberjack's Wife

It’s been awhile and much has happened.

Here’s a list.

1)  Homeschooling is taking up most of time.   Hence, my lack of blogging, as well as sanity.  I did want to share with you this cute picture of my kindergartener extraordinaire, Little Dude’s, phonics page.

When I went to check it, I noticed he had already found a red pen and had given himself a 100%.  And a star. (The check mark was my doing.  It was so he knew what pages to complete.  If you must know)

Such confidence!

2)  On our way to town the other night, the song “You Can’t Touch This” by MC Hammer came on.

Sweet Pea:  Oh, I love this song!

Me:  You do?!?

Sweet Pea:  Yes!  Wait.  Is this the “Ice Vanilla Ice Baby Vanilla Ice” song?

Me:  No.

Yes.  It is sad that my 10 year old knows of this song.  A little while into “You Can’t Touch This”, she shout/asks me:

“Mom!?  What can’t we touch?”

And I truly do not know.

100 (meaningless) point to anyone who can tell me what MC Hammer insists we do not touch.

I hope it’s not naughty in nature.  That would be awkward.

3)  Sweet Pea was discussing college with her Grams and Handsome Dude pulled me aside.  He looked very concerned.

HD:  Mom?  Is college good or bad?

Me:  Good.

HD:  Why would I need to go?  What is it?

Me:  It is just school.  Most people go so they can learn more and get better jobs when they grow up.

He thought about it for a minute.

HD:  What if I want to be a dump truck driver?  Do I have to go to college then?

Me:  I don’t think so.

HD:  Oh, good.

And he walked away, full of relief.

Go homeschool!

4)  So, remember our Wood Cutting Adventures, gone bad?  You can read about them here and here, if you so desire.

Last Saturday, David and his brother, Alex, went wood cutting at the exact spot we have been going the past couple of weeks.  I was at home with the children.  We also had an extra kiddo, because the girls’ friend stayed over.

All the kids were in swimsuits and ready for me to take them to the pool when I got the call from David.

David:  Yeah.  The truck broke down.

This did not shock me.  Have you met us?

So, apparently an axle and coupling broke. Don’t ask me what this means, for I do not know.

David and Alex hiked 3 miles to the top of the mountain to get cell service.  I had to inform the children that instead of swimming, we got to drive to the top of a mountain and save Dad.

The drive was about 2 hours and we had to stop and get a new axle and coupling on the way.  I was a bit worried that I would not find my brave Lumberjack, but I did.

Alex and David hopped in my car and drove back to where the truck was.  They got right to work on putting on the new parts.

How much faith should we put in car jacks, I ask you?

Terrifying.

I enjoyed the fact that the brothers were wearing matching brown Carhartts and gray shirts for their day of wood cutting/truck repair 101 fun.

Matchy-Matchy!

This took them about an hour and half.  The kids entertained themselves by building a “toilet” in the woods.

They spent the entire time building it, yet no one used it.

As soon as the truck was put back into order, the Lumberjack Brothers decided to try and get some wood in the truck and trailer before it got too late.  They had already cut down a tree, so they attached a cable to the truck to pull the tree down onto the road.

About 30 seconds in, the axle broke.

The very axle they had just put on.  And I know that’s what it was because I had just spent the past hour and a half watching them put the new axle on/praying the jack would not break and make me a widow.

The manly men assessed the sitch and determined that even though the axle was broken, the coupling was not and the truck was ok to drive in 2 wheel drive.

I know.  It didn’t make sense to me, either.  But it did to them.  And that’s all that matters.

The boys got into the truck, which was towing the trailer, and headed down the road.

The truck looked pitiful and bereft of wood.

I, like the dutiful wife that I am, followed behind in my Envoy.

Which was not bereft of children.  Or noise.

All of a sudden the truck stops.  I see Alex get out and look at the front, left tire area.  He throws his hands up, almost as if he is confused and looking for something.

I, being the helpful gal that I am, noticed the tire that SHOULD have been located in the front, left spot.  It was in the road, behind the trailer.  Which is less than ideal.

I roll down the window, point to the tire, and shout to Alex:

“I found it!  Here it is!”

Alex looks at me like I am the world’s dumbest person, and then busts up laughing.

You see, dear readers, he knew where the tire was.  He was just looking at the NEW damage the truck had.  Now, I don’t know all the technical words for it, but whatever you bolt the tire to on a truck . . . that was basically destroyed.  Pieces of brake pads and all sorts of other fun stuff were all over the road.

The bottom line?  The wheel was not going back on and the truck was going to be stranded in the middle of a narrow, logging road.

I did not take a picture.  There are times in life when a wife just should not be just standing around, snapping pictures with her phone.  This was one of them.

We had to use the Envoy to pull the trailer away from the truck.  Then, David managed to get the Envoy around the trailer and by the truck, hitch up the trailer, and pull the trailer out with the Envoy.  It was quite scary on the narrow road.  Little Dude summed it up when the experience was over by shouting joyously:

“And we didn’t even die!”

When we made it back into cell phone range, my phone went all crazy-like with 5.2 million notifications of people wondering where we were.  A search party consisting of my mom and dad, lots of coats, and a box of saltine crackers had even already been dispatched.

It was fantastic.

David and his dad were able to go retrieve the truck the next day by using two trucks, two long trailers, and our Bobcat.  The Bobcat was used to push the truck onto a trailer.  So, I guess it is a good thing we spent ALL our monies on a Bobcat last spring.  It came in handy!

5)  Item number 5 on my list went excessively long.  My apologies.

6)  On Monday night, I took the kids swimming.  I drove the Envoy and locked the car in the parking lot.  When I went out, none of the three keys we had for the Envoy would unlock the car.

David called his friend (of whom we bought it from) and he stated he had no idea what was wrong, since he never locked it.

I did not know I could not lock my new car.  I usually find the locking mechanism in a car to be an asset.  But that’s just me.

David had to come pick us up and a locksmith had to come out the next day.  Apparently we need to have someone rip open the door and put new locks in.  Or something.  I don’t know.

But I do know this!  We know how to spend money, people.

Yes.  Yes, we do.

7)  The kids and I went for a walk on our property this afternoon.  It was lovely.

We found this antler shed.

So, basically I have successfully harvested a bigger rack this hunting season than my beloved.

Har.  Har.

We also found this bone.  We think it is a knee bone.  But, really.  What do we know?

Handsome Dude:  Mom?  Do I look like I live in the “crunchie?” (country)  Because I am eating grass?

Yes, son.  Yes, you do.

Happy Thursday!

Last week, I shared with you David and I’s failed wood cutting attempt.

This past weekend, David and I, along with the four cherubs, went back up into the mountains to retrieve the precious tamarack we had to leave behind.

Remember the tamarack?

It is like precious rubies to lumberjacks, such as ourselves.

Anyways.  Our chainsaws broke two Saturdays ago and we had to foolishly leave the tamarack behind.  And if you are confused, and you know you are, tamarack is a type of tree and it is my husband’s fave.

Personally, I don’t have a favorite tree.  But that’s just me.

So, we had to go back and get it.  And this time, we brought our children.

Good times, my friends.  Good times.

So, David and I started where we left off.  This time, David remembered spray paint and I did a mighty fine job measuring out the log lengths, if I do say so myself.

David then makes cuts, but not all the way to the ground.

Chainsaws cannot touch the dirt!  Don’t ask me why.  All I know is one time I was in charge of the chainsaw and I kept hitting the dirt.

There was a lot of sighing from David that day, my friends.  A lot of sighing.

So I don’t do the chainsaw anymore.  Better for the marriage.

After he makes the first cuts, we have to roll the log so the bottom is now at the top and he finishes the cut.  Then we load the rounds into the truck.

We filled the truck and the trailer.

Handsome Dude was eating chocolate pudding.  Hence the messy face.

Driving on windy, narrow mountain roads with David is terrifying.  He is always looking off to the side to see if he can find:

A)  Deer

B)  Elk

C)  Moose

D)  Bears

E)  Dead Tamarack for future joyous wood cutting adventures.

I am always looking out my window hoping we don’t slide off the edge of the road.

As you can see (maybe), there isn’t much of a “side of the road” type of area on a logging road.  Gives me the peepee shivers.

David is a bit of a crazy driver.  Some of his electrical apprentices at work told me that they jokingly say they “get ride with God” on a drive with David.  David thinks his driving record is stellar however.

We didn’t see much in the way of wildlife on this adventure.  We did, however, see a grouse.  Which is like a wild chicken.

So, there’s that.

***

News!

David bought me a new-to-us winter rig!  My minivan does not have 4 wheel drive, which is less than ideal for winter driving.  So, we got a GMC Envoy for when the roads are snowy.  On Sunday, David was moose hunting so I went to my parents house.  My dad and Daisy Mae detailed the Envoy for me!

It was super clean and lovely.  Yay for dads who enjoy cleaning cars!

Thanks, Dad!

Things are a bit crazy here, what with the schooling of the children and all.  Just the other day, Handsome Dude looked at me during reading time and asked,

“Mom, did you just wake up or sum-fing?”

Of course, we all know that he meant to say, “something.”

Homeschoolers.

Me:  No, why?

Handsome Dude:  Because your hair looks really crazy.  Like you didn’t even comb it after you slept.

And on that note, let us make a list!  A list of how I am losing my mind.

(For the record, I do regularly cleanse and groom myself.  Thank you)

1)  Little Dude.

Dude needs to learn how to focus, man.

Let us take this morning for an example, shall we?

Little Dude was told by yours truly to please clear his cereal bowl and get his cute hiney into the bathroom for his morning shower.  Little Dude runs past me, so I, the ever trusting mother, assumed he had did as I had instructed.

I was mistaken.

So, I head into the bathroom to inform Dude that he needs to CLEAR HIS BOWL.

He is naked, but I do not care.  So off he goes.  He leaves the shower running.  I, assuming he would be quick, let it run and began to dry my hair.

I was mistaken.

A few minutes later, I noticed my hair is nearly dry and the shower is missing one easily distracted 5 year old boy.

I head out to the kitchen to see Little Dude, completely naked, sitting on top of the kitchen table while trying to watch Handsome Dude dude one of his reading games on the computer.

Me:  Dude!  What were you supposed to be doing?

Little Dude (looking bewildered):  Oh, right!  Shower!

And off his nekked hiney skipped to the shower.

2)  And, yes.  I had to remind him to turn the shower off.

And, yes.  I had to remind him to actually step out of the shower (this part is always tricky for him.)

And, yes.  I had to remind him to actually use the towel to wipe the water droplets off of his body.

And, yes.  I had to actually beg him to get his clothes on.

And we all made it to school on time.  If you can believe it.

Later that day when we were reading, I told him he smelled nice.

“That’s because I used TWO GALLONS of shampoo in the shower this morning, Mom!”

The boy has a good handle on “units of measurement.”

Homeschool.  Math.  Check.

3)  Tuesday was a bad day.  A horrible, no good, very bad day.  Everyone was either crying or cranky, with yours truly being the crankiest.

So, at 10 am, I broke out some banana cream pie and we took a break and visited our kitties and horses.  Worked wonders.

Until we had to go back to school.

4)  Zumba!  I have now been to TWO Aqua Zumba classes and ONE Zumba toning class.  As if I can’t get any cooler.  The Aqua Zumba class works because I can have the kids near me in the pool.

I am not saying I WANT them near me.  But I probably should, you know, care for them.  David does not get home in time to watch the bambinos for the Aqua Zumba, so we all go.

After the class, I let the children swim for a bit.

Homeschool.  P.E.  Check.

After a bit, Handsome Dude got out of the pool and led his siblings in his own version of Zumba.

Homeschoolers.

I feel pretty lucky that we have a nice gym about 15 minutes away from us.  Tonight, David was able to get home in time for me to go to a Zumba toning class

All.

By.

My.

Self.

It was pretty fantastic.

5)  Guess how many times a day I have to correct my boys when they say the “d” sound for “b.”

Go on.

Guess.

Happy Thursday!

It’s that time again, folks!  The time when all good Lumberjacks scurry to gather enough wood for the winter so they can heat their homes.

Have you been wondering why I call myself the Lumberjack’s wife?  Do you think I am crazy because my husband isn’t a lumberjack at all?

You are not alone.

He is not a Lumberjack.  He is, in fact, an electrician.  But he really likes to go wood cutting.  And build things.  And go hunting.  And go camping.  And raise pigs.  And raise rabbits.  And raise chickens.  And, most recently, raise horses.

He’s a busy guy.

We have been married for 13 years and I have gone wood cutting with him once.  It was a disaster of epic proportions.  My parents watched the girls for us (Yes!  Once upon a time, we only had two little girls!  Imagine that!?!).  We went up into the mountains and loaded our truck up with wood.

Tamarack!  For that is my Lumberjack’s firewood of choice.

On the way home, David saw a deer.  This might not seem like that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.  But seeing wild game gives life to David’s bones.  So, we followed this deer up into the mountains.

This was all in February of 2005.  There was no snow on the roads where we were cutting wood.  But, alas, the further we climbed, the snowier it got.

The snow was deep.

The danger was great.

But follow the deer we did.

And we followed that deer until our truck was stuck in the snow.  Completely and utterly stuck.

So we had to hike down the mountain 10.2 miles with our dog, Mabel, following faithfully behind.  We had no phone service, so our families were quite worried about us and we caused some stress.  We had to wait about 2 1/2 hours for our rescue team and there was only one place to go in this small town filled with about 200 people.

The local bar.

We were filthy dirty.  But we cared not.  We tied our dog outside the bar and went on in.  Because that is what classy folks, such as ourselves, do.

So that was the only time I had gone wood cutting with my beloved.

Until yesterday.

My parents, bless their hearts, took all four kids overnight on Friday and we assured them we would pick up our little angels by 1 or 2pm.  David and I woke up at 3:45am so we could head off into the mountains.  We took our truck and a trailer in hopes of filling it with 3 cords.

Tamarack!  We were looking for tamarack!

I saw several of these nicely stacked piles of logs on the side of the road, but my husband would hear none of it.

Because they were not tamarack.  He is such a picky-pants.

We finally found a dead piece of tamarack on the ground, cut it up, and loaded it into the truck, but we still had half of the truck and the entire trailer to fill.

So we kept driving around.  David would say stuff like,

“See those two tall trees over there?”

And I would try.  Really, I would.

But, seriously.

I would just say, “Oh, yeah!  I think so.”

And he would tell me how his friend shot a moose right between those two, specific trees.

And I am wondering how it took him 8 years to learn my birth date.

(Side note:  Do we not live in the most beautiful area of the world? I ask you?)

Anyways.  We are driving, driving, driving.  Looking for Tamarack.  And I am pretending to know how to identify a tamarack.  But, well, have you met me?

And then he finds it.

I know.  I can’t see it either.

But for those of you who are smart with such things, it is the one that looks dead (because it is) in the middle-ish.

So, we have to cut it down.  I removed myself to a safe distance and took some photos for your viewing pleasure.

You’re welcome.

I even added a large, blue arrow so you could see just which tree I was talking about.

Just in case you didn’t notice it.  It’s a blue arrow.  Pointing at the tree I am speaking of.

Look at me with my big-girl-photo-enhancing-pants on!  Holla!

Ok.  So, here we go.

Wait for it . . .

Wait for it . . .

And-

Bam.  Nailed it.

Look at my husband, felling trees like it ain’t no thang.

And it didn’t even crush the truck or anything.

So, now we have this enormous tree that we must cut down into smaller sections and pull them down the hillside.  David cut the tree and then hooked a chain around the small sections.  He attaches the chain to the front of his truck and then he pulls the tree down with his truck.

My husband is all that is man.

And we wonder why our truck oft breaks down?

So, while David worked on getting all the sections of the tree down, I got to work on measuring out lengths on the logs so he would know where to make the cuts.

Wood Cutting 101: You first cut the tree into rounds.  Then you split it into logs.  Consider yourselves informed.

The size of the rounds will be important later on because if the logs are too long, they won’t fit into the wood stove.

Ask me how I know.

So, I would measure off 16-18 inches and make a mark with that little axe-doo-hickey-thingie-ma-bob there.  And I am pretty sure that was just busy work, seeing as how he could have just screwed that ruler onto the chainsaw and done it all at once.

But what did I care?  I had nothing else to do.

Oh, I did the world’s worst job with it ever.  Seriously.  I cannot aim that ax worth a dime.

Spray paint would have been the smarter choice.  Or having him actually screw the ruler onto the chainsaw.

Either way.

So, David got to work making the cuts when tragedy befell us.

Both of his chainsaws broke.  That’s right.  BOTH.

He spent about 45 minutes taking them apart, but they were beyond his expertise.  So we had to try and roll all of our precious tamarack off the road.

Which was not as easy as you might think.

Trees.  Heavy.

Defeated and discouraged, we got into our truck with only 3/4 of a cord of wood.  It was an epic wood cutting failure.

But, wait!  There’s more!

As we were coming down the mountain, the steering on David’s truck went all crazy like.  Apparently something called a tie-rod was bent or broken or, well, I don’t know.  But it was not an ideal sitch.

David:  Yeah.  We are going to be late.

Me:  Oh, really?

David:  Truck is going to break down.

Me:  What’s wrong?

David:  Steering problems.

Me:  Are you going to, like, lose control at some point?

David:  Maybe.

He is always so reassuring.

So, we were about 40 miles from a phone service and a town.  David did not think the truck would make it to town and we would probably have to ditch the truck and hitch a ride into cell service.

Which sounded super safe and enjoyable.

But the truck kept going.  The tires were making some odd screeching noises.  But it kept going.  We had to drive about 25 miles an hour the entire way, but we made it.

Now, this town is nowhere close to where my parents/children are, so my poor parents had to keep the kids extra long while we waited for our truck to get repaired.

And while we were there, Charlie, one of the mechanics, noticed our nice load of Tamarack.

Tamarack!

Charlie:  Nice load of wood you got there!

David:  Thanks.

Charlie:  I haven’t been able to find tamarack this year.

Then Charlie was basically hinting that he wanted to buy it from us.  And I was like, no way Jose.  That is the most expensive 3/4th of a cord of wood known to man.

Plus it is TAMARACK.  And in case you haven’t heard, it’s all the rage.

David is anxious to get his chainsaw returned so we could head back up and get our precious tamarack that we had to foolishly leave on the roadside.

We must get there before Charlie the mechanic does.

And then when our truck breaks down again on the way home, and we all know it will, we can gloat to Charlie.

Tamarack!

Raise your hand if you think we actually save ANY money by heating with wood.

Mmmm-hmmmm.

Later, gators.

I have (barely) survived three days of homeschooling.  The first two days went fairly well.

However.

This morning I woke up with no energy.  Probably because yesterday I decided to throw in a little Physical Education to the mix.

We loaded up and headed to the gym.  Did you remember I foolishly purchased a gym membership?  It’s true.  I did.

Anyways.  We decided an afternoon swim would tickle our fancy, so away we went.  As luck would have it, the Aqua Zumba class began about five minutes after we arrived.

And I was like, “Yes!  I should do this!  This will totally work out!”

So I joined.

You know what is not so easy?

Doing Aqua Zumba whilst trying to keep an eye on your four kids.

It went well for the most part, but towards the end Sweet Pea tried to help Handsome Dude with something and he was basically breathing murderous threats to her for hindering his freedoms.  So, I had to monitor him in a time out while I Zumba-d it up.

But I did it!  And no one drowned!  It was a banner day.

So, today I woke up tired and wishing I could call in sick.  Homeschooling makes my brain hurt.  It is not the actual teaching, but more the juggling of the different subjects along with the different grade levels.  We still made it through and did everything but art.

Art.  Every year I think I can do it.  Why?  WHY?  WHY?!

I can’t.  I wash my hands of it.

So.  Here are some photos.  Because . . . why not?

Handsome Dude was ueber proud of his number towers.

And rightfully so.

He claimed he turned into a mechanic.

Little Dude’s shirt was itchy.  Would you like to know a perk of homeschooling?

It is clothing optional!  Rest assured-he is wearing pants.

Or

Is

He?

After school, we needed some fresh air.  We checked on our “friends.”  Because we are weird, unsocialized homeschoolers and animals are our friends.

I kid!  I jest!

Daisy Mae and the rabbits.

The boys have names for the rabbits.  Actually, they named one white one, Ellie.  This came as a huge disappointment for them when they discovered that Ellie was really a Man-Rabbit.

Yet, Ellie he is.

All of the other rabbits are called “Tiny Tim.”  Even though they are not at all tiny and mostly all female.

What can I say?  My boys are weird.

Here are the boys gathering eggs.

Ew!  They are wearing flip flops in the chicken coop.

Oops.  Oh, well.

Sweet Pea and Mr. Poppers.

I don’t know why, but I just love that cat.

Isn’t that sad?

Our two newer horses are still being mean, old snobs to Ruby, the girls’ paint mare.

When we come to the fence to pet them and say hello, they chase poor Ruby off!

Meanies.

As if I have time to figure out how to make horses get along . . .

Happy Thursday!

A List.

1)  Since we last spoke, we have gone on two camping trips.  The first one was with David’s work, or as Little Dude refers to them as “Dave’s Work Van Friends.”

This is humorous because:

A)  He should probably refer to “Dave” as Dad.  But whatever.

B)  David drives a work van.  And so do his fellow comrades.

I was informed that I would most certainly NOT be the only wife camping.  Alas.  I was the ONLY wife camping.

2)  Raise your hand if you think “Dave’s Work Van Friends” were bummed that there was a wifey present to ruin their manly man fun.  They probably wanted to burp, fart, and blow stuff up, but had to mind their manners instead.

3)  We returned from that camping trip on Sunday only to go back to camping on Wednesday.  On Wednesday night, David dropped the bambinos and I off because he had to be a part of the Work Van Gang on Thursday.  My parents camped with us on Wednesday.  And we spent Thursday doing what my side of the family does best:

Shopping.

We went to a nearby town and had a great time perusing the thrift stores and antique shops.

I got the kids to participate in taking this commemorative photo:

Yes.  This was the best photo I could get.  Trust me.  I tried.

And why is there a lioness attacking a zebra next to two dashing bull elks?  I ask you?

Instead of making lunch at camp, we went out to lunch!  Little Dude fancied a slice of marionberry pie.  I was worried he would get his shirt stained, so I tried to make him a napkin bib.

I fear he didn’t quite grasp the concept.  But napkin capes are also awesome.

4)  Since we were the first ones at camp, we had to save sites for the other campers who would soon be joining us.

This was my attempt to create a “campsite.”

Looks legit, doesn’t it?

5)  Camping was busy, per usual.  On Friday, we went to a nearby town and rode bikes, picked blackberries, and swam at the beach.  On Saturday, David and I, along with our two girls, had to leave and go clean our rental.  My parents, bless their hearts, offered to watch our two darling boys.  They are still talking to us, so it apparently went well.  On Saturday night, the girls and I joined David’s Mom, brother Alex, and sis-in-law Holly, on a moonlit Kayak ride and it was probably my most favorite part of the trip.  We had a grand time!  On Sunday, we floated the river and then rushed off to see the fireworks show.

Yes.  Fireworks.  You heard me.

My cute niece hung out with me for a few minutes.  This is rare because my nieces usually pick my daughters over me.  Apparently they are more fun that I am.  But I snapped a cute photo of the two of us while it lasted.

You probably can’t tell, on account of my awesomeness, but I have no idea where to look when I am taking a picture of myself.  Just an FYI.

When the fireworks started, my niece got scared.  She turned to her mom and said,

“Mom! I think I need my lifejacket!”

Ha!

6)  We came home from camping yesterday (Monday) and had to quickly attempt to clean everything up so we could get ready for school.

7)  Tuesday came.  I was not ready for school.

8)  Today (Tuesday) was the first day of school.  It did not go as HORRIBLY AWFUL TERRIBLE TRAGICAL BAD BAD BAD as I thought it would, but it was not fantastic by any means.

Two kids cried.

But then again, let’s look at the bright side. Two kids DIDN’T cry!

Win!

Our day started at 8:40 am, which was 10 minutes behind schedule.

It happens.

I was hoping to end by 3-ish and didn’t end until 4:30, but a lot of that has to do with working out kinks and new curriculum and whatnot.  The girls worked on finishing up assignments until 5:30, which was later than I would like, but they did a bit extra.

Here are some “back to school photos.”

Sweet Pea, 5th grade

Daisy Mae 4th Grade

Handsome Dude, 1st Grade

Little Dude, Kindergarten (but doing all the same things with brother-makes it easier on me!!)

I ain’t gonna lie.  Today kicked my hiney.

Here’s to hoping that we survive this year!

Happy Tuesday!

So.  When last we spoke, I shared with you the sad fact that we are now hillbilly hoarder redneck type people.

Remember?

My husband took care of it.  Isn’t he the nicest?

That’s where all the scrap lumber/ t-posts were once thrown.

True.  The wood stove child safety gate is still there.

True.  If you look hard enough you can see a pile of horse poo in the driveway.

True.  We got weeds.

Nevertheless!  It looks much better.

The most hilarious part to me is his “burn pile.”  The burn pile is where he throws burnable materials.  You know.  So he can burn it.

Stand down, readers!  This is completely legal in our neck of the woods.  There is currently a burn ban, however, there are times during the year when it is perfectly legal to burn on our property.

Would you like to see David’s “burn pile?”

I use the term “burn” quite loosely.  The “burn pile” was created about two years ago and has yet to see a match.

However.  It is the “burn pile.”

And here is a picture of my pretty chicken coop window box.

Because I need pretty things in my life.

***

The girls have been away at camp.  This was their first year.  Daisy Mae had a meltdown when I dropped her off.  She was hyperventilating.

Camp Leader:  Can you tell me why you are scared?

Daisy Mae: I-gasp-don’t-gasp-want-gasp-to-gasp-leave-gasp-mama-gasp.

Camp Leader:  Have you never been away from your mama before?

Daisy Mae: No-gasp-I-gasp-have-gasp-not.

Two things:

1)  I have never heard her call me “mama.”

2)  She has totally been away from me before.  Like lots.

But it all kind of made me feel special.  She went on her (sorta) merry way, with her sister who was not one bit dismayed at the thought of parting with me, and I haven’t heard from them since.  I pick them up today.

So, it’s just been me and the dudes this week.  And, man!  My boys are exhausting.  Let us look at the excitement that was yesterday, shall we?

We are going camping tonight, so yesterday it was our job to clean the trailer and get it all ready.  The boys were ecstatic at the thought of cleaning the trailer.

Why?

I cannot be certain.

Handsome Dude:  Mom!  MOM!  MOOOOM!  Is it time?  Are you ready?  Can we go clean the tray-wer?

Me:  Nope.  I am not ready yet.

HD:  Oh, man.  Do you got to put on your makeup?

Me:  No.  My makeup is already on. (thanksfornoticing)  I have to clean up the kitchen first.

So, in order to speed the process, Handsome Dude decides that HE, himself, shall clean the kitchen.  And he enlists Little Dude to help him.

I leave for a second (foolish, I know), and come back to them pouring liquid dishsoap into each glass, rinsing it and repeating it three times before loading them into the dishwasher.

All while pouring water onto the floor.

So, I thank them for their helpful contribution and tell them I will take it from here.  As I am finishing up, the boys are wrestling/jumping, kicking/playing trucks, and high-fiving simultaneously in the living room.

I kick them outside.

I get into the trailer and the boys join me.  They have somehow located three brooms and are using all three of them to sweep whilst I am trying to go through the cabinets.

I kick them outside.

Handsome Dude:  Mom!  Can we get the eggs?

Me:  Yes.  You may get the eggs.  Quickly, please.

I go back to my cleaning and kind of lose track of time.  A few minutes later, the boys run back towards the trailer screaming:

“Mom!  We need scissors!  A baby rabbit is going to DIE!”

You can imagine my surprise as to how a baby rabbit’s life got involved with the simple task of gathering eggs.

I step out of the trailer and look towards the chicken coop.

They have left the door to the coop open.  Hens are free and wandering about.  They tried to catch a baby rabbit in a fishing net.  The baby is tangled up in it and the net is caught around its neck.

They have not gathered any eggs.

I, Taylor, the farm and ranch wife that I clearly am, managed to free the baby rabbit from the tangled mess without having to cut the net.

Holla!

But, seriously.  My boys exhaust me.  And I love them.

When their father came home, I congratulated him on his two new best friends for the evening.

They had a good time.  (But I had an even better time-ha!)

***

11 Days until school starts!

Guess who is absolutely, 100% not ready?

A couple of weeks ago, we were walking around our property with David’s brother and his wife.  It was during this very walk that I realized David and I had turn into true country hillbillies.

Allow me to elaborate.

In one corner of the yard, you will find a pig feeder.  It is no longer feeding pigs and is now serving as a lawn ornament.

In another section of the property, you will find spare Bobcat tires.  Because this is what everyone needs in their lives.  Obviously.

You will also find other various items, such as, but not limited to: pig waterers, rabbit water bottles, red buckets, fishing nets (for to catch loose rabbits.  Obviously.), Bobcat accessories, Bulldozer accessories, utility trailers, chicken wire, metal t-posts, wood scraps, bicycles, and . . .

horse toenails.

I shudder.

It was like we were on our very own TV show.  Hoarders:  Hillbilly Edition.

My husband has a problem.  If it is free, or a smokin’ deal, he must get it.  So he comes home with certain treasures he has found for free at the dump, or along the side of the road, and just kind of tosses them somewhere.

Metal fencing he scored for free at the dump? Tossed in yard by shop.  Now full of weeds.  Sat for two years.  Never needed it.

Kayak paddles found on the side of the road?  Sitting in garage.  But do we have a kayak?  Nay.  Nay, we do not.

Free scrap lumber from jobs?  Let’s just toss that in the driveway.  Because it looks pretty.

Welcome to the nightmare that is my life.

I told my husband that I was feeling a tiddly-bit discouraged regarding the property sitch and he devoted an entire weekend to cleaning, purging, and organizing.

Seriously.  Be still my heart.

My husband is a hoarder.  It’s a problem.  And the more we got in to his “stuff” the more horrific it got.

I mean, I knew he liked antlers, but . . .

this might be a bit of an obsession.  Oh, and see those windows in the background?

Free at the dump.  Because you never know when you need them.  It’s been three years and we still haven’t needed them.

But you never know.

And now, I shall show you my secret shame.

The old rabbit hutches.

We have around 6 of these hutches in a circle in the front of our yard by the house.  And I mean the FRONT.  It is almost as if we are super proud of them and they are the main attraction of our property.

They are ugly and no longer being used.  I have wanted them moved for a year and a half.  Because they make me want to cry.  Or braid my hair, wear jumpers, and walk around with a piece of hay in my mouth all the time.

Yesterday morning, David wanted a list of chores to do.  And I was like,

“well, if you insist . . . ”

So I casually put:

MOVE RABBIT HUTCHES

So, he got his Bobcat and moved them!  Holla!

But, then I noticed this:

He started pushing over dead trees with the Bobcat and creating quite the mess.

WHICH WASN’T ON THE LIST!

Boys.

In other news, my husband got hisself two more horses today.  Because we can’t ever do anything on small scale.

Here’s Little Dude visiting with one of the new horses through the trailer.

He did not have a growth spurt.  He is standing on the wheel well.

Meet Ellie:

She is 14 years old and I believe she is going to mainly be David’s horse.  There are some horse trails not too far from our place and I think he is hoping to take the children out on trail rides when they are ready.

Let the records show that he has not invited me on a trail ride.

This is the other horse, Heffie (solid brown) meeting Rhubarb:

(See that metal gate in the bottom right hand corner of the picture?  That is our old child safety gate that we put around our wood stove.  It is in that area of the yard because . . . . ?)  (See?  Hillbillies.)

The two news ones are on the left.  Their names are Heffie and Ellie.  Rhubarb is the paint mare on the right.  We got her a couple of weeks ago.  She is trying to be a part of Heffie and Ellie’s family and they aren’t letting her in their little clique.  It is quite disheartening.

We were all sitting on our little porch, watching the horses try to get acquainted.  My cute kitty, Mr. Poppers, came by and snuggled with me so Daisy Mae took a picture of us.

He is my fave.  Want to know why?

He basically requires nothing of me.  And I appreciate that.

And he slaughters mice.  I basically love him.

Happy Sunday!