The Lumberjack's Wife

Well.  It is a good thing I committed to posting EVERY day in October.  Wouldn’t want to be total liar or anything.

But I have good reason to be this lame!  I am having ISSUES with my blog.  As you may or may not have noticed.  I am STILL having issues.

The good news:  I did not lose my blog in the black hole of the Internets.

The bad news:  I am basically back to square one with the transfer sitch.

GoshDarnIt.

I’m gonna need to get all handsome on some coffee now.

Let’s list some blessings that have occured in our lives over the past few days, shall we?

We shall.

Blessing #1

  Remember the pig flowers?

They were aptly named.

David brought home seven delightful swine.

And I use the term “delightful” quite loosely.

Quite.

These pigs were flipping out when it came time for David to remove them from the trailer and into their new home.

Did you know pigs threw fits?  It’s true.  They do.

And look at David and his muscles!  Carrying the pig like it ain’t no thang.  Makes me swine swoon.  (oh, darn.  That was punny.)

All seven pigs are healthy and thriving.

In case you were worried about such things.

Pig Blessings:

1.  Hmmmm . . .?

2.  No pigs have died

3.  No pigs have gotten loose

4.  The kids are tickled pink

5.  There will be no pressure canning of the pork.  You can rest easy.

Blessing #2

Family Nights

We have been so busy for the last few months and not having much time to just relax and hang out.  Last night, we ate brownies and played Zingo.  Have you ever played Zingo?  It is a great game to play with young kids.

Last weekend, we had a movie night.  Daisy Mae asked if she could do my hair and also, would I like to add her creations to Pinterest?

Nay, Daisy Mae.  Nay, I do not.

But I will post this dandy of a picture simply because Erin thinks I look skinny in it.

I am not.  But we can all pretend.

Family Night Blessings:

1.  Our kids are funny!  It is fun to hang out with them.

2.  Somebody always cries during game night.  We believe this builds character.

3.  Brownies!  Holla!

Blessing #3:  Painting the Peach

It is time.

We are painting the peach walls.  Did you know that even the ceilings are peach, too?  The former owners were intense with the peach, were they not?

We have gone with a green shade that was in our rental house.  And we approve .  I am not showing you a picture today, mostly because I am lazy.  But you shall see it in due time.

Mr. Buck, our friendly deer, has been removed from this esteemed locale on my wall during the painting process.

He is overseeing the children and their math studies.

Look at Sweet Pea teaching the boys all about place value!  Love it.

Blessings from Painting:

1.  HELLO?!  Are you kidding me?

NO MORE PEACH!

2.  We have renewed our relationships with Mr. Buck and the kids and I feel strongly about adorning him with a red nose during the holidays.  It has to be done.

3.  Don’t tell David.  He will find it irksome.

Later, dudes and dudettes!

 

It all started with Little Dude.

The lad was looking through a farm magazine, as most preschoolers do.  He was reading it intently and very proud of the fact that we, like the farmers in the aforementioned magazine, have chickens.

But then he saw the page on pigs.  And the lectures began.

“Dad!  Look!  Look!  We need pigs?  See, dad?  See?  We NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED them.”

Well, we all know that David is stingy with the farm animals.  As is evidenced by our 70-100 rabbits and 50ish chickens.

So, David has been talking about getting a pig.  The key word in that sentence being “a,” mind you.

Then he thought about his decision and decided it was not good for pig to be alone.

So, he decided we would get two pigs and no more.

You all see where this is headed, don’t you?

I would like you to take note of these, the flowers my husband, yes, MY husband, brought me last night.

You have to squint to see it, but these flowers clearly say:

“To my loving wife.  Please don’t freak out when I inform you that I am getting SEVEN pigs tomorrow.  It is a smokin’ deal on Craigslist and I just cannot resist.  It is not in my nature.  Please take these flowers as a token of my gratitude.”

I cannot help but wonder what life would be like if Little Dude had not taken it upon himself to read farming magazines for leisure.

So.  Today, David is reconfiguring the garden into a pig pen.  Because most gardens double as pig pens.  Clearly.

Little Dude was beside himself with excitement this morning over the fact that pigs, his dream animal, were coming on this very blessed day.

Little Dude:  Pigs!  Pigs!

Handsome Dude:  Yup!  And we are going to feed them and feed them and take them to the butcher.

Little Dude (angry):  NO!

Handsome Dude:  Yes.  We eat pigs, Cokey.

Little Dude (still angry):  NO!  NO!  NO!  You are mean and rude!

Handsome Dude:  It’s ok!  Because God can make more pigs!

Little Dude:  We are NOT eating pigs!

*sob, wail, sob*

So, I have to explain that, yes, we are going to eat the pigs.  Well, I am probably not, but that is beside the point.

Meat gives me the pee pee shivers.  Especially when I know the animal from whence it came.

Me:  All our meat comes from animals.

LD (crying.  Precious to my heart.):  No!

Handsome Dude:  Yes!  Cows give us trees!

Me:  What?

HD:  Trees!

Me:  No.

HD:  Yes.

Me:  No.

HD:  Yes!  They gives us trees like a boy-trees sandwich.

Allow me to enlighten.  The lad loves grilled cheese sandwiches.  Yet, he feels it is unfair to call them GIRL cheese sandwiches, so he calls them BOY cheese.  Also, apparently he cannot pronounce cheese and says “trees” instead.

Go homeschool!

So, I tried to console Little Dude and he is wee upset.  But such is life.

Today’s Blessings.

Oh, boy.

*Flowers!  I got flowers!

*We saved money on fencing by using the garden as a pig pen.

*I talked David into installing LOCKS on all animal gates so we can hopefully cut down on all renegade, fugitive animals.

*I got new hairspray.  I’ve been out for a month.  So, that’s something.

*Apparently, our freezer will be full of pork.  And the freezers of our loved ones as well.

*Now pork gets to be added to the list of things I cannot eat.

*I wonder if I can pressure can pork, like the chicken?

*Hmmmm.  Let’s not and say we did.

*Scrubbing Bubbles really helps get your shower clean. That was pretty exciting for me this week.

*Fall scented candles.  They make me so happy.

*Little Dude has yet to ask for a cow.  This is good, because I am not ready to give up dairy products yet.

Later, dudes.

10 Blessings as of Late

1. As a surprise, Auntie Datenut made my girls a gorgeous dress-up dress from the prairie times.  My girls have always been fans of Little House on the Prairie-thanks to the influence of their grandma.

Auntie made the dress for them to share.

Here is Sweet Pea modeling it.

2. Bonus!  Auntie thought this year it would only fit Sweet Pea.

It fits Daisy Mae, too.

The girls love it and will treasure it forever.  They are already concerned about how they should share it with their own future daughters.  And, as if life could not be even more exciting-the dress has a petticoat.  And all this time, the girls thought a petticoat was, like, a coat.

So, there you go.  Homeschool.  Fashion History.  Check.

The girls refused to hang it up in their own closet.  Apparently, their closet is, and I quote, “too messy.”  And they couldn’t be more correct.  So the dress is hanging in my closet.

3.  They hung it in David’s Carhartt workpants section.  Awesome.  These are the things that make me laugh.  I’m odd.

Don’t lose heart!

I really don’t have my closets organized.  Just David’s.

I don’t know why.

4.  We went to town yesterday to run some errands.  We had to stop and get glasses fixed.  But this time, we were getting Sweet Pea’s glasses adjusted.

We have not had to take Handsome Dude in since he got his new spaceman glasses in May.

Yes.  These glasses are ridiculous.  However!  The boy can see and I no longer have stress.

Holla, Space Man glasses!

Holla!

5.  Actually, I do have stress.  Just not with glasses anymore.

6.  While we were in town, we had to stop and get something done on the van.  I was nervous about it and David took the time to meet me there and take care of it for me.  This is hard for him to do with his job, so it was really nice to have his help with that.

7.  After our errands, we stopped to hang out at my parents’ house.  The girls were doing some school work and I could not find Handsome Dude.

Because I am an attentive mother.  Obviously.

He was sweeping for PopPop.

Precious, is it not?

8.  The other day, I was feeling guilty about the homeschool.  As I am wont to do.  I am not very good at remembering to include “P.E.” in our schedule.

As I was fretting, I looked out the window and saw this:

The kids were running around the lands with nets and trying to catch rabbits.  For like an hour.

Bam!  Homeschool.  PE.  Check.

9.  Handsome Dude is an awesome rabbit catcher.  I could not believe my own eyes.  He gets them in a net with one swift move and carries them carefully over to their pen.

He has ninja-like rabbit catching skills.

I wonder if he can put that on a college application?  Thoughts?

10.  My blog is not transferred and I still don’t know what color to paint my walls.

But the stomach bug is over, I finally scrubbed my shower, and I am all caught up on laundry.

So, there’s that.

Happy Thursday!

(Someone asked recently how old I am-I turned 31 in June)

(I don’t know what that has to do with the price of cheese, but there you go)

We have a stomach bug in the house!  Holler!

Life is fun.  But the good news with vomit, and yes, there apparently can be good news with vomit, is that you can ditch school plans out the window and let the sickies watch movies and the like.

And since I had a “day off” from the joys of the homeschool, I decided to try and tackle the ever-present problem that is my blog.

Oh, yes.  My blog.  Huge problem.  Needs to be transferred.  And I am an idiot.

You can see the quandary.

So, I have nothing of interest to say, as I have been transferring and exporting and importing and all sorts of good-times-fun-happiness.

But I did come across this post and decided it would be a BLESSING if I could just repost it.

(Do you see what I did just there?  I am being LAZY, but I am trying to pretend like I figured out a way to post today.)

(Its brilliant.  Brilliant, I tell you.)

Alright.  Here you go.  A post from April of 2010.  Enjoy.

***

I had an appointment with the dermatologist this week.

Not the crazy, mean, irrational dermatologist.

But my kind, new, and helpful dermatologist.

Kind, new, and helpful dermatologist has encouraged me to start accutane.

You might ask,

“Taylor, what, pray tell, is accutane?”

Well, I will tell you this . . .

Accutane is a super intense acne medication.

Holy raviolis, this is one annoying pill to take.

Why?

I’ll tell you why.

Because I have been trying to start this process since early December but first had to go to the lab to get blood work drawn but first I had to find someone to watch the kids (because I didn’t think it would be ideal to bring 4 children to a lab where they were taking my blood) but then the doctor had forgotten to tell me to fast so I went in for nothing then I had to go in again then I had to get the results then the nurse had waited to long to call me so they were all null and void then I had to take a pregnancy test then I had to see the gynecologist (sorry male readers) then I had to state my two forms of birth control then they waited too long so my pregnancy test was null and void then I had to take another pregnancy test then I forgot my special book, but in my defense they never told me I had to bring my special book with me everywhere I go, then I had to wait a month and then I had to create an online account with the government and then I had to answer 2.7 million questions about accutane then I had to go and take another pregnancy test and then I finally got the A-OK to start so then I went to the pharmacist but then no one had told me I had to bring my special card, which is conveniently located in my special book, then I had to come back, but I had to make sure I came back within the specific time window that the secret government account told me I had to come back in then I had to take a pregnancy test then I went to the pharmacist then he couldn’t give me my prescription because the nurse had entered my birthdate in wrong so then he had to get that all fixed then I had to come back then I finally got my prescription filled and I have been on accutane for one full month and my skin is a dry, dry desert and my skin is peeling and my lips are cracking and I am super uncomfortable and if I smile too quickly my lips start to bleed.

Seriously, folks.

My lips hurt!

Accutane.

It’s not for the faint of heart.

So, on Monday, I have to go for my check up.

And with me, as always, are the dudes.

Hooray!

So, they take me back to the exam room.

Question.

Why do they make you sit in the exam room for so long?

What is wrong with the waiting room?

You know.

The waiting room where there are toys and books for children to play with.

But, no.

Let’s make this mother sit in the exam room filled with untouchables and the round, swirling  doctor’s chair of death, while she waits for the doctor.

Yes.

That’s a great plan.

So, I sit and I wait.

And I discipline boys.

And I wait.

And while I wait, I think upon things.

Things such as:

A)  Why are my boys so naughty?

B)  When was the last time this floor was cleaned?

C)  I think I will go to Target later.

D)  Why do I still have acne?  I am 28.

E)  Where are Handsome Dude’s glasses?

F) Why is that stupid round chair in here?

G)  Why are my boys so naughty?

H)  Where are Handsome Dude’s spare pair of glasses?

I)  Why are my boys hitting each other?

J)  There is no way I am taking them to Target later.

Finally, the nurse comes in.

She asks me the following questions:

1)  Does your skin feel dry?

2)  Are your eyes dry?

3)  Do you have nosebleeds?

4)  Do you have blood in your stools?

(Um . . . gross.)

5)  Do you feel depressed?

6)  Do you have thoughts of harming yourself?

7)  Do you feel fatigued?

8)  Are your lips dry?

9)  Are you having severe stomach pains?

10)  Any chest pain?

Um.

Excuse me?

What kind of horror pill am I taking?

So, then she has to draw blood for the 1.2 million tests they need to test me on.

Nurse:  You remembered to fast, right?

Me:  No one told me to fast.

Nurse:  Oh.  Well you were supposed to.

Me:  Ok . . .

Nurse:  We’ll just take your blood anyways.

As she is filling tubes of blood, Handsome Dude is extremely concerned about her actions.

And Little Dude just leaves.

Yes.

That’s right.

He just walks out.

Next, I have to take a pregnancy test.

So, she sends me to the bathroom with the dudes.

Now, this was a treat.

If you haven’t ever tried to pee in a cup with your two young sons in a public place, I implore you to try it immediately.

As I am attempting to complete the task, Little Dude opens the door.

Yes.

That’s right.

He OPENS the door.

So I have to quickly waddle over him to close the door.

Then I bring him back to me and hold on to him with one hand.

Now, I have to pee into a cup one-handed.

While two boys are both peering and looking to see what is going on in this mysterious toilet bowl.

And I learned something about myself on this dreadful day:

I don’t have good aim.

As I am trying to put the lid on, Little Dude is alternatively rubbing my back and the toilet seat.

I quickly get up and put the cup on the counter out of their reach.

I turn back and see Little Dude has completely put his face into the toilet.

Thank goodness I had already flushed.

But , nonetheless!

GROSS!

We make it out alive . . . barely.

The nurse tells us to sit in the exam room and wait a bit for results.

Fantastic!

We are good at waiting.

Handsome Dude now decides he must go poopy.

So, back to the bathroom we head.

He.

Takes.

For.

Ev.

Er.

Seriously.

A good 10 minutes.

Finally, we make it back to the exam room where it looks like the nurse is now waiting on us.

Ha!  Payback!

Now, the doctor comes in.

He asks me every single question the nurse asked me again.

He asks me when my last period was.

He reminds me that I cannot get pregnant.

Because, clearly it looks like I need more children.

I can understand his concern.

He looks at my face and lips, says I don’t look too dry at all, and ups my dosage.

And I predict, dear readers, that my the end of April, I will no longer have lips.

***

Today’s Blessings:

My boys are older now.

I am no longer on Accutane.

I still have lips.

My blog transfer is going well.

My kids have had about a 60% success rate with vomiting into the toilet and not on the carpet.

Good Night.

 

 

 

Hello!  Long time, no see.

Life has been busy and crazy and, alas, I have had no time for blogging and the like.  I currently have seven, count them SEVEN, different paint colors on my blessed peach walls, yet I know not which one to go with.

But what is life without whimsy, I ask you?

In honor of the craziness that has so easily entangled me, I have decided to go with a list of happenstances.  And we are going to look at them happenstances as blessings, even if it kills us.  GoshDarnIt.

Be excited.

1)  I removed my first dead animal body and disposed of it all by myself.

I KNOW!  It was as horrible as I thought it would be.  This was because my husband was hunting and was not around to do the deed.

I think I need flowers.

Blessings:  I am not sure on this one.  Let us chalk it up to a new life experience, shall we?

2)  I will leave you pondering what the dead animal might be.  For, again.  What is life without whimsy?

3)  Handsome Dude threw a ginormous fit about doing art the other day.  Because art is so horrible, what with the paint and all.  I can understand his woe.

But then, I told him to go outside for “inspiration.”  I gave him a notebook and a pencil and told him to head on out and find some things in nature to draw.

He loved it.

He came in to show me his “art.”

He “drew” many things that don’t, in fact, exist at our house.  Like apples and ferocious tigers.

Little Dude also got in on the fun.

Blessings:  Boys who stop throwing fits and then start being all cute and make you feel sad that they are growing up.

And according to the above picture, boys who share gum.  Lovely.

4)  Another perk to homeschool:

 

Doing work with a kitty in your lap.

True, he is doing Awana.  But just go with it.

5)  The other day, I was doing school with Handsome Dude and Little Dude was joining in.  Little Dude was being a pain and not sitting and not listening all sorts of rubbish.

I looked at him and said,

“Dude.  You do not have to be here.  Do you want to be here?”

Little Dude:  I do not want to be here.

Me:  Then go play trains.

Little Dude looked at Handsome Dude, smiled, and ran off.

Oh, the joys of being 4.

5)  My boys brought in wood.

Today’s woodpile brought to you by the letter “T.”

They are helpful.  And they turn their work into fun.  Apparently.

Alright.  This dinner sure ain’t gonna cook itself.

Later dudes.

Well.  It sure is a good thing I committed to posting every day in October.  Let us feign that day nine does not exist, shall we?

Good. We have an understanding.

On Monday, I wrote that I was “inspired” to finally start painting the wretched peach walls that cover

Every.

Single.

Inch.

of this house.  Seriously.  Even the ceilings.  Gives me the peepee shivers.

Two years we have been here, and we have not done anything about it.

TWO YEARS!

We have only ourselves to blame.

So, the children and I were in town on Monday and after co-op and piano we stopped at The Home Depot.  Did you know that Home Depot can match other companies paint colors?  It is true, it is true.

So I gave Mr. Home Depot my paint color from my parents’ new house, as I planned to shamelessly steal it from them.  Like a good daughter does.

He began asking me really hard questions, like what sheen did I want it in and did I want the primer/paint combo and, well, basically, my head starting spinning.

Because what do I know?

I told him I simply did not know and that I basically needed something that was easily washable.  Then I pointed to the four children, almost as if to further prove my point.  I also told him I was painting my entire house and I was not sure if I would like the color, so I would only be taking one gallon at this time.

Mr. Home Depot had a brilliant idea!

He told me about paint “samples.”  You can get any color in a small little container for $3.  So, as I took all 9 paint stir sticks away (again) from Little Dude and put them back in the container, I said:

“That would be the best plan.”

Then I remembered another color I saw on The Pinterest!  Has anyone else seen this pin floating around?

(Source)

The pin says under it, and I quote:

“Described as the best paint color ever.  Benjamin Moore Revere Pewter.”

Well!  If it is the best, then I must have it!

So, I told Mr. Home Depot to throw one of them in a handy $3 container, too.

Teller is painting the peach, people!

So, we went to check out and we were waiting in line.  Little Dude was touching the items of the cart in front of us and I asked him to come back and not touch.

Man Behind Me:  Excuse me, miss?

I cannot tell a lie.  I really, REALLY, like it when people call me “miss” instead of “ma’am.”

Me:  Yes?

Man:  Are your children homeschooled?

I panicked.  I looked at them all.  They seemed to be dressed fairly normal.  I was not wearing my denim jumper with apples and bears stitched to the front.  It was 4 o’clock in the afternoon and most kids are out of school by now anyways.

How did he know?! How did he know?!?!?

Me:  Yes, they are.

Man:  I figured as much.

And then he was silent for awhile and I was trying to figure out what I was missing.

Man:  Usually you can tell if kids are homeschooled.  They seem to listen to their parents more.

Hmmm.  My kids?  Listen?  Get out of town.

Me:  Oh!  Yeah . . .

Man:  You go to church?

Me:  Yes, we do.

Man:  I figured as much.  Homeschooling and church seem to go together.

Me:  Yeah, it seems so.

As we are talking, my children have made it their goal to touch every single candy bar in the aisle.  Which was awesome.  I kept removing them and they kept trying and I was wondering if Mr. Stranger was regretting his earlier comment about how good my kids were at listening.

Mr. Stranger was called to the next row to check out and I checked out my things and started to leave the store.

Then Mr. Stranger came running after me.

Mr. Stranger:  Miss?  Oh, Miss?

Me:  Yes?

He handed me four candy bars that I saw him pick out in line.

Mr.  Stranger:  You give these to your kids, if they keep listening to you and all.  They are good kids.

Me:  Wow!  Well, thank you that was awfully nice of you!

The kids all thanked him and he nodded and started to walk off.

Mr. Stranger:  Keep good care of them.  I hear they are like a quiver full of arrows or something!

As we walked back to our car, two other strangers stopped, smiled, and waved at the kids.

And I still don’t know why.

***

You will be disappointed to hear that neither paint color will work in our house.

Here is the color I shamelessly stole from my parents’ house:

You cannot even tell.  That is the first clue that this is not the color for us.

Here is the Revere Pewter:

We do not feel it is the best color ever.

We need something with more color to it.  So, we will continue to look.

Today’s blessings:

*Finding out you can buy $3 paint samples at Home Depot!  True, I will probably spend $30 in samples, but at least I might get the color I want!

*Having a complete stranger bless your day by telling you your kids are a blessing.  All to often in the store, I hear:
“Wow!  Are they ALL yours?”

“Don’t you know how that happens?”

“Do they all have the same dad?”  (grrr)

“You have your hands full!”

“Oh, you are brave.  I don’t envy you!”

Instead, he made me feel like I was lucky to have my kids.  He even seemed to think they were . . . good kids.

And you know what?

They are.  And I am.

“Children are a heritage from the Lord . . . blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.”

Psalms 127:3-5 paraphrased

 

 

Oops!  I kind of, sort of, did not post for days 6 and 7.

It happens.

But look at me now!  Posting on day 8 like a boss.

We have had a busy weekend.  On Saturday, we helped my parents move into their new house.  Over the past two weeks or so, my parents were packing and cleaning out stuff at their old house. My girls (who L-O-V-E to help and clean at other people’s houses but scoff when I dare suggest they, oh, I don’t know, make their beds) helped them pack and clean on a few different occasions and unbeknownst to me kept claiming all my parents’ unwantables.

And, yes.  I just made up the word “unwantables.” Because I can.

So, now my parents’ unwantables have magically become my unwantables.

Case in point:

3 VCRs and one TV/VCR combo.

And they most likely don’t work.  Because everyone knows when your VCR breaks, you put it in a closet and save it forever and ever, or until you move, and bestow it upon family so it can now bless them in all its brokenness.

Obviously.

Their new house is lovely and I really like the paint on their walls and it hath inspired me to MAYBE finally do something about my darn peach walls.

Oh!  Are you new here?  Guess what.  There is peach all over my house.  So lovely.  So soothing.

Anywho.  I think I’m going to do it!  I think, think, think!

Maybe.

On Sunday, David did various farm and ranch chores and I deep cleaned about 1/10th of my house. It took me all day and was extremely discouraging.  The day was super exciting and involved removing gum from not one, but TWO spots in my carpet.  Because my children are very well-behaved with the gum, didn’t you know?

We also attempted to have “Family Game Night.”  In the end, it somehow resulted in the kids trying to get David to tickle them.

They begged, nay pleaded, with me to join in on the fun.  And I use the term “fun” quite loosely.

Quite.

Sweet Pea:  Come on, Mom!  Help us get Dad!

Me:  No, thanks!

Sweet Pea:  Awwwww.  You are no fun!

Me:  Nope, but I am smart.  I learned many years ago to never, ever, EVER, try to play-fight with your dad.

Sweet Pea: Please!

Me:  Sorry, no.  It only ends in me being angry with ripped underwear.

Yes.  Ripped underwear.  I said it.  David is a fan of the wedgie.

Within ten minutes, each child was pouting and trying to dig underwear out of their cute little hineys.

Me:  See, kids?  I told you.  He always wins and he always goes for the wedgies.

And I said it smugly with my underwear comfortably in place.

Before I go, we must discuss David and the peanut M & Ms.

David purchases these tasty treats, but this is how he eats them:

Yes!  You are welcome.  I just knew you would want to see a picture of David’s regurgitated peanuts.

This begs the question:  Why doesn’t he just purchase the plain M&Ms?

We may never know.

Little Dude may or may not have snuck a handful or two of the candies himself.

I cannot be certain.  He’s pretty sneaky about it and all.

Check out his pajama sitch.  He did it all by himself.  Very classy.

Today’s blessings:

*Children who are willing to help their grandparents pack

*Parents who do not recklessly fill the landfill with broken VCRs and lovingly pass them along.

*That *I* did not get a wedgie this weekend

*Little Dude is taking more initiative and dressing himself.

*Family time with a bunch of crazies is fun.  Even if it ends in anger and sore bums.

Happy Monday!

PS- I got a vacation rental inquiry last week.  The person only asked:

“Would it be ok if I practiced my saxophone while staying there?”

ha.

Because most people go on vacation with their saxophone.

I am pretty sure it was a spammer, but it gave me a chuckle.  As saxophones usually do.

 

We had Jason and Amy over for dinner and games last night.

Remember Jason?

Of course you do!

Having dinner with other humans is a fine time to observe just how horrible your children’s dinner manners are.

So we are eating, as you do when you have people over for dinner, and the adults are attempting to have a little convo.

Convo is how cool people, such as myself, say conversation.  Try to keep up.

David:  So, Amy, how do you like your new job?

Amy:  Oh, it is pr-

Little Dude:  HEY-HEY-HEY-HEY-HEY GUYS?  GUYS?! GGGGUUUYYYYSS?

Me:  Yes?

Little Dude:  We have a little kitty.  He is cute.

David:  Is this hospital different than the one you worked at before?

Handsome Dude:  Excuse me!

Amy:  Well, there are a few differences, but it re-

Handsome Dude: I SAID EXCUUUUUUSE ME!

Me:  What?

Handsome Dude:  We have two cats.  Our little kitty is Mr. Poppers.  Our big kitty is Peter.

Me:  David, you look tired.  Are you going to be up for a game tonight?

David:  I don’t know.  Depends on how exciting the game is.

Sweet Pea:  I hope we can play the game!

Daisy Mae:  I can do cartwheels!

Little Dude:  HEY-HEY-HEY-HEY-HEY-HEY-HEY GUYS?!?  Guys!

David:  Quiet you are being rude.  Say “excuse me.”

Little Dude: EXCUSE ME!

David:  Yes?

Little Dude is now standing in his chair and, for reasons unaware, is stroking Jason’s hair.

Because that is normal.

Little Dude:  Our outside kitty attacks mice!

Me:  That’s fantastic.  Why are you touching Jason’s hair?

Little Dude:  I not know.

Me:  What are chairs for?

Little Dude:  Sitting!

Me:  Then let’s sit.

Jason:  I think we are going to go on a little road trip this weekend.

Me:  Cool, where?

Jason:  Oh, well Amy’s never been to-

Little Dude:  HEY-EXCUUUUSE ME, JASON!

Jason:  Yes?

Little Dude is now standing in the chair, stroking Jason’s hair and basically 1/4″ away from Jason’s face.

Little Dude:  When Peter wants to kill a mouse, he goes like this:

(Little Dude begins to creep along the floor, almost as if he were a kitten stalking a mouse.)

Jason:  That’s awesome.

Me:  Dude.  Sit down.

David:  Jason, you better take Amy to-

Handsome Dude:  Peter is the bestest cat!

David:  Don’t interrupt.  It’s rude.

Me:  Has anyone noticed that the boys are desperately trying to steer the conversation towards cats?

Jason:  I’m kind of getting that impression.

Little Dude is standing up and stroking Jason’s hair.  Oddly enough.

Little Dude (shouting as always):  PETER THE CAT ATTACKS OUR CORN IN THE GARDEN JASON!  OUR CORN!  CORN!

Then Little Dude grabs Jason’s water glass, with the hand that is not stroking his hair, and guzzles every last drop of Jason’s water.

Then he slams the empty glass down and dribbles a little bit of excess water on Jason’s arm.

Little Dude:  I fink that when Mr. Poppers is big, he will kill the mices, too.

Me:  Awesome.  Sit down.

Today’s blessings:

* Being able to get together with family

* My kids have a very loving extended family who seems to enjoy them, in spite of themselves.

*My boys are apparently very passionate about cats.  And touching Jason’s hair.