The Lumberjack's Wife

Yesterday was a tough day.  Homeschooling wise.  It all started with this:

That last sentence?  That is SUPPOSED to say:

She is wrapping a present.

But it does not.  Nay.  It most certainly does not.

Grrrrrrrrr.

I promise to you, the people, that I make a great effort to teach these children.  Truly, I do.  Yet, here they are.  Raping presents and all sorts of other inappropriate things.

Let’s discuss some blessings, shall we?  Even if it kills us.

Handsome Dude accidentally let some hens out, as he is wont to do.  Thankfully, he got right to work fixing his mistake.

All hens were recovered and brought back to safety.

Daisy Mae wrote a letter to her Great Aunt.

“We have a big dog named Tank.  He eats our chikens (spelling fail.  grrrrrr) and rabbits.  He is very bad.”

“We homeschool.  I like homeschool.”

Well.  At least somebody like homeschool.

I kid!  I jest!

This morning when I came to the school room, this is what I found:’

Handsome Dude had already gotten out his workbook and started working on his assignment.

Hold the phone! My son?  Doing schoolwork?

And doing it . . . . correctly?!

Holla!

For the purposes of my mental sanity, let us all pretend that the bookcase in the above photo is organized nicely and aesthetically pleasing.

Thank you.

Today’s blessings:

*Being able to overcome the feelings of failure as a teacher and see the humor in a spelling error.

*A daughter who writes a nice letter to her aunt and even says she enjoys homeschooling.  This is encouraging, seeing as how homeschooling takes up my ENTIRE existence.  Basically.

*A son who is willing to go catch hens so they don’t become Tank-food.

*A son who is improving in Kindergarten.

*A book case that gets used by children who enjoy reading.

Happy Day Four!

Everyday in October,  I will post about one blessing from my day.  Some days might be big blessings, some might be terribly unimportant . . . some might be a bit of a joke.

But my goal is to find joy in everyday life.

Mr. Poppers, our foster kitten went missing today.  It was tragic and annoying all at the same time.  Handsome Dude has taken it upon himself to be Mr. Poppers parental guardian, so he was basically a wreck.

We searched the house, and during our search, I realized how awful our house was.  This is not rare, and yet, it surprised me.  So I, too, became a wreck.

I had an awful feeling that Mr. Poppers may have climbed into the freezer while the kids were helping themselves to ice cream.

Yes.  The kids were helping themselves to ice cream.  It was THAT sort of day. The kind of day where you have completely given up and when the kids say:

“Hey, Mom?  Can we have ice cream?!?”

You say:  “Sure, whatever.  Just get it yourself.”

And they rise and call you blessed and you are just happy to have an extra ten minutes to fold laundry.  As if your life could not be any more exciting.

And its not.

I checked the freezer.  No Poppers.  I checked the fridge.  No Poppers.  With much dread and fear, I checked all three toilets.

No Poppers.

Finally, Daisy Mae was getting a roll of toilet paper out of the cabinet in the bathroom and out popped Mr. Poppers.

Oh, it was a blessed moment.

Soon after, David walked in the door.  He came bearing Sweet Pea’s book report gift.  If a child does a book report for David, he will bring them home a prize.  He owed Sweet Pea for two reports, so her prize was a bit bigger than normal.

She got a book light (cheapie from Walmart), candy, gum, and a drink.  She shared the candy with her siblings.  For she is a gem.

Daisy Mae had been complaining of a loose tooth all the livelong day.  It hurt her to do her math.  It hurt her to eat her lunch.  It hurt her to brush her teeth.  It hurt her to redo all the problems she missed on her math.  Finally, I looked at her and said:

“Will you please just go yank it out?”

And she did!

Today’s blessings:

A kitten was found and not forever frozen in time.

A dad who makes reading books exciting.

A child who LOVES to read.

A girl who was brave enough to pull out her own tooth so her wimpy mother did not have to.

Amen.

Everyday in October,  I will post about one blessing from my day.  Some days might be big blessings, some might be terribly unimportant . . . some might be a bit of a joke.

But my goal is to find joy in everyday life.

I know.  It is technically still October 1st, but we are going to feign that it is October 2nd.  Why?  Because.

Every Monday, we leave the house around 9am.  We gather homework, pack lunches, and grab our piano music.

Also every Monday:  Little Dude cannot find his shoes.

Every.

Single.

Monday.

It is my lot in life, my burden to bear.  But I digress.

Getting to our homeschool co-op is no easy feat.  But every week we go, I am happy we made the effort.

Sweet Pea is taking an Apologia Zoology class.  Now, if I were her teacher in Zoology, I would skip over all extra activities and projects.  Because, hello?  I am barely surviving over here.  And I am, most likely, searching for Little Dude’s missing shoe in my spare (ha) time.

But at co-op, she got to make her own bird feeder.

This is just fantastic because it makes me look like I am THAT awesome homeschooling mom, when in fact, I am not.

Oh!  And fun fact.  I am one of the helpers for the Zoology class, so I helped assemble many of these bird feeders today.  So I am a total pro.  If that impresses you.  And I’m sure it doesn’t.

Going to co-op takes a lot of time and effort, and quite a bit of gas, but there are many blessings that come out of it.

* My kids have friends that they look forward to seeing each week.

* My kids are learning to listen and follow directions from teachers other than yours truly.

*  My kids are learning how to act in a classroom environment.

* I am meeting friends.  Turns out moms like friends, too!  Who knew?!

*  I get to see how other people teach and gain insight on homeschooling.

*  We get OUT OF THE HOUSE

In case you are not in the know, this is how our homeschool co op works.  Parents sign up to teach different classes for different ages.  The kids are offered a few choices for each class hour and they attend that class.  For example, Sweet Pea is taking:  Zoology, Writing, and Around the World.  Around the World is a class that studies one country every two weeks.  Daisy Mae is taking:  Just for Fun (which is aptly named), Writing, and Around the World.  Handsome Dude is taking Kindergarten and Little Dude is taking preschool.  Imagine that.  I teach a 1st-3rd Draw Write Now class, which is awesome because I can’t draw and a preschool class where we are going through the Days of Creation.  But basically, I am just trying to survive that one and keep everyone alive, seeing as how it is the last class of the day and the preschoolers are WIPED.  I have high expectations for life.

After Co-op, the girls get dropped off at piano and I get to run an errand with my boys.  We either do a little shopping, run to the library or hit the park.

And I always, ALWAYS, make sure I stop for coffee.

Coffee.

It just might be the biggest blessing of all.

Everyday in October,  I will post about one blessing from my day.  Some days might be big blessings, some might be terribly unimportant . . . some might be a bit of a joke.

But my goal is to find joy in everyday life.

We got our first wood stove early on in our marriage.  I was against it.  But this does not surprise us.

Who has time to fall trees?  Who has time to split wood?  Who has the muscles to split wood?  Who has time to keep the fire loaded?

Not I.

Alas.  We got a wood stove.  David always runs that thing hot like lava.  I’m talking 97 degrees in December.

December,  I tell you!

I have always found myself humorous.  It’s one of the qualities I like best about myself.  So I, in the spirit of I, took a picture of our dogs with the Hawaiian leis because it was sooooooo hot.

See?  Funny.

Anyways.  For twelve years now, give or take a year, we have heated our home with wood.  And that wood must be gathered by my Lumberjack.  For what is a Lumberjack without his love of wood falling?  I ask you?

And, yes.  People actually talk like that.  They say things like “He felled a tree” and “load it in the rig.”  I know, I know.  I can barely believe it myself.

I am convinced, readers, that wood heat has cost us a fortune.  Allow me to illustrate with a little tale that happened this very weekend.

On Saturday, David woke up bright and early to go and fulfill his life’s purpose and gather wood for his beloved family.  Since his general life motto is “Go Big or Go Home,”  he of course had to take the truck and his trailer.

Lo, and behold, the trailer got a flat tire.  Therefore, he had to stop at a small town on the way home and pay many dollars to fix it.

Fine.  Super.  No big deal, right?

Mmmm-hmmmm.

On Sunday, David gets up again at O Dark Thirty to get even more wood.  Remember, this is what he lives for.  Daisy Mae goes with him, because she is clearly insane.  David had already “felled” (really!  people say it!  I KNOW!) the wood, so this trip would be a bit easier than the one the day before.  He told me he should be home by about 1pm.  When he is “wood-fellin,” he does not have cell service until he is about one hour away from home.

Around 1:45, I started to get a bit nervous.  I tried calling his phone, but he was still out of service.  I went to the bathroom and missed a call from an unknown number.  I, being the sleuth that I am, used the power of The Google and learned, much to my horror, that the number was from the forest ranger for the exact area that David and Daisy Mae were gathering wood.

A million things go through my mind, but the most persistent one was that they were both dead.  Because I never worry.

I tried to call the forest ranger number back about five times and got a machine.

I called David’s cell, even though it was out of range.

I called my mother twice.  TWICE.  And she did not answer.

What’s up with that?

For twenty minutes I was in a panic.  And then I got a call from Jason.

Remember Jason?

Jason is David’s youngest younger brother.  And he hearts it when I post that picture of him.

Apparently, David was calling from the Forest Ranger phone, but did not have the audacity to leave me a message.  David’s truck broke an axle.  Or something like that.  I don’t’ speak “truck.” He called Jason and Jason was en route to rescue David and Daisy Mae.

Finally, thanks to Jason and his mad-axle bearing skills, David and Daisy Mae were on their way home.

Only to have a tire blowout.

When David arrived, he informed me that the truck has major problems.  Like lots of dollars problems.

This is not good.

But, it’s ok.

Because for twenty minutes today, I was certain the two of them were horribly injured or worse.  I felt helpless and terrified and I had no idea what to do.  All I wanted in the world at that moment was for them to be okay.

And they were.

And they were pretty successful little wood gatherers, too.

So, tonight, I smiled when Daisy Mae bragged to her siblings about her grand adventure.  I laughed when she dramatically retold a story of how she saw an eagle (or an owl . . . she can’t be sure) and it was staring her down, getting ready to attack.  She prattled on and on about how Jason brought her French Fries and she ate lunch at 9:30am (giggle giggle) and she got to do cartwheels by the river.

And I am just thankful that everyone is in their beds, safe and sound.

No matter how costly the wood heat now is.

For the month of October, I am going to (attempt to) post every day as part of a “31 Day” challenge hosted by The Nester.

I was trying to decide on a topic for my 31 days.  At first, I was going to go with:

31 Days to Enjoying Homeschooling.

ha.

There were a few problems with that one.

1)  That would limit my audience.  Not everyone is as doomed lucky as I am to be a homeschooling marm.

2)  I seriously could not come up with 31 posts on homeschooling.

3)  If I had to write about  “the joys” of homeschooling AND homeschool at the same time, the post series would quickly morph into:

“31 Days of Transitioning your Children into Public School.”

I kid!  I jest!

So, I have realized that I am just tired lately and not finding much joy in life, particularly in my children.  And what is the point of being blessed with having children if you are not enjoying them?

And even though I am sarcastic and joke a lot, I truly do feel blessed by my children.

For reals.  Or realz.  Whichever you prefer.

They are so cute and funny and naughty all wrapped into one.

I was doing Little Dude’s Bible lesson for church with him the other night.  His lesson was on being a good friend.

Me:  Is sharing being a good friend?

LD: Yup.

Me:  Is saying, “I don’t like you anymore being a good friend?”

LD:  Nope.

Me:  Is hitting being a good friend?

LD:  Nope.

Me:  Is saying “You’re nice.” being a good friend?

LD:  Yup.

Me:  Okie dokes.  Looks like you know how to be a good friend.

LD (shouting, per usual):  AND MOM-MOM-MOM-MOM . . . IF YOU SEE A MAN DEAD ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD, YOU HAFTA  BE A GOOD FRIEND AND HELP.  RIGHT, MOM?  RIGHT?  RIGHT?  RRRRRRIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHTTTTT?

Seriously.  The boy is always yelling.  We’ll call it a blessing.  He is not shy.  See?  I’m getting the hang of this!  I CAN and will find blessings everyday.

So, in an effort to combat the blues that has so easily entangled me, I shall be finding ONE blessing from each day in October.

This will be interesting.  I am pretty cranky.

But I shall persevere. Who knows?  Perhaps I shall find blessings in those wretched rabbits.

But who are we kidding?

They are awful.

Alright.  Stayed tuned.

This may come as a shock to everyone, but I, Teller, am feeling stressed with the homeschool.  I know, I know.  You guys all think I have it all together.

But I don’t.

Yesterday was charming.  I was planning on taking the kids on a field trip to a museum.  Therefore and henceforth, we had to squeeze all of our studies in before lunch.

This is no small feat!

So, as I was juggling my three pupils at once, I was noticing the state of my house.  I find it quite odd that I can clean everyday, and yet, my house looks like a tornado ran through it within hours.

It is clear that I have superb home and time management skills.  Readers, take note.

Books on the ground.  Hangers behind the couch.  Socks on the floor.  Kitten litter spilled in the laundry room.  Dead flies on the windowsill.  Toothpaste on the sink.  Toothpaste on the counter.  Toothpaste on the drawer.  Toothpaste on the carpet.  Gum in the carpet.  Something sticky on the floor.  Laundry pile going strong.  Fingerprints on the dishwasher.  Fingerprints on the oven.  Fingerprints on the refrigerator.  Papers all over the counter.  Hair clips behind the door.

I am making my home a haven.  Obviously.

I was about to just forget the field trip, because, clearly, I needed to spend the afternoon teaching my boys how to properly equip their toothbrush with toothpaste instead of spreading toothpaste around the entire bathroom . . . but, alas.  I was probably going to the spend the afternoon cleaning and feeling cranky, only to end up with a messy house tomorrow.

So.  I put on a clean shirt, curled my hair, and put in some big earrings.  I am convinced that a gal can feel like a person so long as the smell of hairspray is in her hair and excessively large earrings are dangling from her lobes.

Just make sure to use hairspray instead of glass cleaner.  Ask me how I know.

Getting out of the house was a superb choice.  It is amazing how much you don’t care anymore once you are not living in your own nightmare of filth.

We went to the museum.

We got out of the house with all kids dressed in clean clothes AND all put on the right way.  The two in glasses actually have their glasses.  And the girls have clipboards.  For to take notes.

Sadly, Little Dude had his shoes on the wrong feet.  But I am going to call it a win.

After the museum, we went to our rental.

Confused?  Reading this post might clear things up.  But I make no promises.

In a nutshell, David and I bought a house that was a complete dump about 9 years ago.  We spent 7 years gutting it and fixing it up.  Instead of selling if when we moved, we chose to turn it into a vacation rental as it is in a good location in town.  Currently, we have a love/hate relationship with this house.

When I have 7 beds to wash, I hate it.  When the house is clean and I am all done, I love it.

So, the kids and I stopped by the rental because, surprisingly enough, I needed to finish up washing some bedding.  While we were waiting on the loads to finish, we walked to the park.

I stopped at got myself a latte.  That’s right.  A fancy, city coffee to go with my hairprayed curls and large earrings.

The latte was $4.19.

That is absurd.

We walked to the park.  Handsome Dude wowed me with his skills.  Or skillz.  Whichever you prefer.

Just behind him is the library.  The girls think they are all that AND a bag of chips if I give them the library card and let them go peruse on their own.

The boys decided to swing.

Handsome Dude has learned to pump on his own.  This is glorious for me, as I am so over pushing my kids on swings.

Kidding!  Or am I . . .

Little Dude, sadly, does not know how to swing.  He was a bit miffed about it.

Handsome Dude, the kind big brother that he is, went to help him and started to push him.

Little Dude (wailing):  MMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM!  He is PUSHING me!  He is PUSHING me, MOM.

Me:  I know.  That’s what you wanted.

LD:  He is PUSHING ME.  *sob, tear, wail*  He is SO MEAN WITH ME.

I did what any concerned and attentive mother would do.

Sipped my $4.19 latte and waved.

Well.  My blog fell off the face of the earth last week.  I was in my mourning period when Bimlissa’s sister’s husband saved the day and rescued it.  People who have been reading my blog for less than a year have no idea who Bimlissa is and probably find me to be an addled, old homeschooling marm.  And I am ok with that.

2 points for using the word “addled!”

I need to move my blog.  The horror! This makes me want to crawl into a hole and suck my thumb.  I have no time for such nonsense and just thinking about it makes my brain hurt. I did, however, learn what bandwidth means.  And it has nothing to do with the waist size on my jeans.  So that’s something.

2 points for “bandwidth.”

We got a kitten.

I KNOW.   I am out of my mind.  This cat is named Mr. Poppers and he weighs about as much as a sock.  He is actually going to be my mother-in-law’s kitten, but she is needing a temporary home for him for a few weeks.  I am sure there will be no drama from my children whatsoever when it is time for him to go.

2 points for the name “Mr. Poppers.”  Don’t steal it.

I am so tired.  I have no reason, really.  My husband has been working extremely long hours and we are still doing the rental.  And then there’s the education of the children.  I am just weary.

Weary makes it all sound so much more dramatic.  Which is totally what I was going for.

Today, whilst doing science with Sweet Pea, Daisy Mae entertained the boys by destroying the house.  Bless her heart.

I am so weary that I don’t even care anymore.  At least we got science done.

The astute reader will notice that my pictures look a bit zazzier today.  It’s true!  I EDITED them.

Look at me with my big girl blogging pants on!

One of the problems with my blog is it is TOO BIG.  Not too big as far as visitors and hits, but as far as posts and pictures.  I never resize my photos.  So, I am trying to be a good girl.  I found a site where you can resize the pictures for free and it also had some box that said “polaroid.”  So, I clicked it and voila.  I am now a big time blogger all because of it.

So that’s it.  Nothing is new.  I am tired.  My husband is working too much.  My blog is a mess.

I did, however, get some cozy new sweatpants.  It has certainly boosted my morale.  In case you could not tell from the tone of the post.

Oh!  I do need to brag about one thing.

You all know of my troubles with educating The Boy, right?  Well, I had to take him in for state testing yesterday and, well, you had better sit down for this.

He tested at and above grade level.

Bam!

Stand down, readers!  I do not mean to be boastful, but, hello!?  Have you read this blog?

Handsome Dude.  At grade level.  Imagine that.

It is almost like my whole life purpose has been to get him to this point.  From taking him in twice a week to get his glasses repaired to teaching him why we can’t pee on mama’s washing machine (sadly, a very true story) to making him keep sounding out letters even though they make him want to throw himself on the ground in despair and sorrow.

He can be taught!

Either that, or they made a mistake during testing.  Which is totally possible.

Later dudes.

1)  The other day I was stressed.

This is not rare.

You see, dear readers, I am always late.  Late, late, late.  I think I have all the time in the world and then, out of NOWHERE, I was supposed to be in the car 15 minutes ago, the kitchen is a disaster, I am half dressed, no one can find their shoes, the farm animals need water, and Little Dude is missing, per usual.

True story.

Stand down, readers!  I don’t really lose my child . . .   per say.  But the boy does this cute  . . . .precious, really . . . thing where he is in the loft playing trains and when he hears his mother and siblings call . . .

“Dude!  DUDE!  Time to go!  We are leaving?  Where are you?  Answer us!  Dude?”

. . . he chooses not to answer us.

Then we all turn to each other in a state of utter confusion:

“Have you seen him?  Who was the last one to see him?  Go and check if he is hanging out in the chicken coop again.”

Yes.  My boy sits in the chicken coop and becomes one with his feathered friends.

Doesn’t yours?

Anyways.  The point (yes!  there is a point!) is that the boy NEVER answers and he just keeps playing trains while we are about to send out a search party.

See?  I told you it was precious.

So.  One day I was stressed like THAT.  I was in the bathroom trying to make something of my hair and Daisy Mae was with me.  As I was spraying my hair with the hair spray, I was giving her explicit instructions on how she needed to go and get a cooler in the car and load it with some ice packs and five dozen eggs.  Because we are hillbillies and when we come to town, we sell eggs.

She looked at me with her mouth agape and I was about to b-l-o-w because we seriously did not have time for her to act like she had no idea what her task was.

DM:  Mom?  Did you see that on Pinterest?

Me (snapping because I am stressed . . . remember?):  WHAT are you talking about?

DM:  Did you see that hair trick on Pinterest?

Me:  What hair trick?

She points to my hand, which was furiously spraying hair spray and it turns out I was spraying glass cleaner all over my hair.

DM:  Is that a cool trick you saw on Pinterest?

Me:  Um, no.

DM:  MOM!  You should put it on Pinterest!

Lest anyone is confused . . . no.  Glass cleaner was no good for the hair.  Or my stress level.

2)  David was getting ready to go hunting last week and before he goes anywhere special, he has to polish his boots.

Yes.  That’s right.  Polish his boots.

He went and got his new-ish white sock to use for the waxing process.

Me:  What’s wrong with that sock?

David:  It is all stretched out.  I cannot wear them anymore.

Me:  Oh.

Now.  People.  I steal these socks from my husband daily.  They are warm and cozy and just perfect for the homeschooling marm who lives in the country.

Could it be that I, his apparently-not-so-dainty wife, stretched out his socks with my ginormous ankles?

Me:  Well, what do you mean they are stretched out? Why can’t you wear them?

David:  They keep falling down!

So, there you go. Breaking news.  I have cankles.  Because I wear these socks and they do not fall down.  Nope.  Not one bit.

***

There you go.  Two things that you just had to hear about.

Later dudes.