The Lumberjack's Wife

Well.  It sure is a good thing I committed to posting every day in October.  Let us feign that day nine does not exist, shall we?

Good. We have an understanding.

On Monday, I wrote that I was “inspired” to finally start painting the wretched peach walls that cover

Every.

Single.

Inch.

of this house.  Seriously.  Even the ceilings.  Gives me the peepee shivers.

Two years we have been here, and we have not done anything about it.

TWO YEARS!

We have only ourselves to blame.

So, the children and I were in town on Monday and after co-op and piano we stopped at The Home Depot.  Did you know that Home Depot can match other companies paint colors?  It is true, it is true.

So I gave Mr. Home Depot my paint color from my parents’ new house, as I planned to shamelessly steal it from them.  Like a good daughter does.

He began asking me really hard questions, like what sheen did I want it in and did I want the primer/paint combo and, well, basically, my head starting spinning.

Because what do I know?

I told him I simply did not know and that I basically needed something that was easily washable.  Then I pointed to the four children, almost as if to further prove my point.  I also told him I was painting my entire house and I was not sure if I would like the color, so I would only be taking one gallon at this time.

Mr. Home Depot had a brilliant idea!

He told me about paint “samples.”  You can get any color in a small little container for $3.  So, as I took all 9 paint stir sticks away (again) from Little Dude and put them back in the container, I said:

“That would be the best plan.”

Then I remembered another color I saw on The Pinterest!  Has anyone else seen this pin floating around?

(Source)

The pin says under it, and I quote:

“Described as the best paint color ever.  Benjamin Moore Revere Pewter.”

Well!  If it is the best, then I must have it!

So, I told Mr. Home Depot to throw one of them in a handy $3 container, too.

Teller is painting the peach, people!

So, we went to check out and we were waiting in line.  Little Dude was touching the items of the cart in front of us and I asked him to come back and not touch.

Man Behind Me:  Excuse me, miss?

I cannot tell a lie.  I really, REALLY, like it when people call me “miss” instead of “ma’am.”

Me:  Yes?

Man:  Are your children homeschooled?

I panicked.  I looked at them all.  They seemed to be dressed fairly normal.  I was not wearing my denim jumper with apples and bears stitched to the front.  It was 4 o’clock in the afternoon and most kids are out of school by now anyways.

How did he know?! How did he know?!?!?

Me:  Yes, they are.

Man:  I figured as much.

And then he was silent for awhile and I was trying to figure out what I was missing.

Man:  Usually you can tell if kids are homeschooled.  They seem to listen to their parents more.

Hmmm.  My kids?  Listen?  Get out of town.

Me:  Oh!  Yeah . . .

Man:  You go to church?

Me:  Yes, we do.

Man:  I figured as much.  Homeschooling and church seem to go together.

Me:  Yeah, it seems so.

As we are talking, my children have made it their goal to touch every single candy bar in the aisle.  Which was awesome.  I kept removing them and they kept trying and I was wondering if Mr. Stranger was regretting his earlier comment about how good my kids were at listening.

Mr. Stranger was called to the next row to check out and I checked out my things and started to leave the store.

Then Mr. Stranger came running after me.

Mr. Stranger:  Miss?  Oh, Miss?

Me:  Yes?

He handed me four candy bars that I saw him pick out in line.

Mr.  Stranger:  You give these to your kids, if they keep listening to you and all.  They are good kids.

Me:  Wow!  Well, thank you that was awfully nice of you!

The kids all thanked him and he nodded and started to walk off.

Mr. Stranger:  Keep good care of them.  I hear they are like a quiver full of arrows or something!

As we walked back to our car, two other strangers stopped, smiled, and waved at the kids.

And I still don’t know why.

***

You will be disappointed to hear that neither paint color will work in our house.

Here is the color I shamelessly stole from my parents’ house:

You cannot even tell.  That is the first clue that this is not the color for us.

Here is the Revere Pewter:

We do not feel it is the best color ever.

We need something with more color to it.  So, we will continue to look.

Today’s blessings:

*Finding out you can buy $3 paint samples at Home Depot!  True, I will probably spend $30 in samples, but at least I might get the color I want!

*Having a complete stranger bless your day by telling you your kids are a blessing.  All to often in the store, I hear:
“Wow!  Are they ALL yours?”

“Don’t you know how that happens?”

“Do they all have the same dad?”  (grrr)

“You have your hands full!”

“Oh, you are brave.  I don’t envy you!”

Instead, he made me feel like I was lucky to have my kids.  He even seemed to think they were . . . good kids.

And you know what?

They are.  And I am.

“Children are a heritage from the Lord . . . blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.”

Psalms 127:3-5 paraphrased

Oops!  I kind of, sort of, did not post for days 6 and 7.

It happens.

But look at me now!  Posting on day 8 like a boss.

We have had a busy weekend.  On Saturday, we helped my parents move into their new house.  Over the past two weeks or so, my parents were packing and cleaning out stuff at their old house. My girls (who L-O-V-E to help and clean at other people’s houses but scoff when I dare suggest they, oh, I don’t know, make their beds) helped them pack and clean on a few different occasions and unbeknownst to me kept claiming all my parents’ unwantables.

And, yes.  I just made up the word “unwantables.” Because I can.

So, now my parents’ unwantables have magically become my unwantables.

Case in point:

3 VCRs and one TV/VCR combo.

And they most likely don’t work.  Because everyone knows when your VCR breaks, you put it in a closet and save it forever and ever, or until you move, and bestow it upon family so it can now bless them in all its brokenness.

Obviously.

Their new house is lovely and I really like the paint on their walls and it hath inspired me to MAYBE finally do something about my darn peach walls.

Oh!  Are you new here?  Guess what.  There is peach all over my house.  So lovely.  So soothing.

Anywho.  I think I’m going to do it!  I think, think, think!

Maybe.

On Sunday, David did various farm and ranch chores and I deep cleaned about 1/10th of my house. It took me all day and was extremely discouraging.  The day was super exciting and involved removing gum from not one, but TWO spots in my carpet.  Because my children are very well-behaved with the gum, didn’t you know?

We also attempted to have “Family Game Night.”  In the end, it somehow resulted in the kids trying to get David to tickle them.

They begged, nay pleaded, with me to join in on the fun.  And I use the term “fun” quite loosely.

Quite.

Sweet Pea:  Come on, Mom!  Help us get Dad!

Me:  No, thanks!

Sweet Pea:  Awwwww.  You are no fun!

Me:  Nope, but I am smart.  I learned many years ago to never, ever, EVER, try to play-fight with your dad.

Sweet Pea: Please!

Me:  Sorry, no.  It only ends in me being angry with ripped underwear.

Yes.  Ripped underwear.  I said it.  David is a fan of the wedgie.

Within ten minutes, each child was pouting and trying to dig underwear out of their cute little hineys.

Me:  See, kids?  I told you.  He always wins and he always goes for the wedgies.

And I said it smugly with my underwear comfortably in place.

Before I go, we must discuss David and the peanut M & Ms.

David purchases these tasty treats, but this is how he eats them:

Yes!  You are welcome.  I just knew you would want to see a picture of David’s regurgitated peanuts.

This begs the question:  Why doesn’t he just purchase the plain M&Ms?

We may never know.

Little Dude may or may not have snuck a handful or two of the candies himself.

I cannot be certain.  He’s pretty sneaky about it and all.

Check out his pajama sitch.  He did it all by himself.  Very classy.

Today’s blessings:

*Children who are willing to help their grandparents pack

*Parents who do not recklessly fill the landfill with broken VCRs and lovingly pass them along.

*That *I* did not get a wedgie this weekend

*Little Dude is taking more initiative and dressing himself.

*Family time with a bunch of crazies is fun.  Even if it ends in anger and sore bums.

Happy Monday!

PS- I got a vacation rental inquiry last week.  The person only asked:

“Would it be ok if I practiced my saxophone while staying there?”

ha.

Because most people go on vacation with their saxophone.

I am pretty sure it was a spammer, but it gave me a chuckle.  As saxophones usually do.

We had Jason and Amy over for dinner and games last night.

Remember Jason?

Of course you do!

Having dinner with other humans is a fine time to observe just how horrible your children’s dinner manners are.

So we are eating, as you do when you have people over for dinner, and the adults are attempting to have a little convo.

Convo is how cool people, such as myself, say conversation.  Try to keep up.

David:  So, Amy, how do you like your new job?

Amy:  Oh, it is pr-

Little Dude:  HEY-HEY-HEY-HEY-HEY GUYS?  GUYS?! GGGGUUUYYYYSS?

Me:  Yes?

Little Dude:  We have a little kitty.  He is cute.

David:  Is this hospital different than the one you worked at before?

Handsome Dude:  Excuse me!

Amy:  Well, there are a few differences, but it re-

Handsome Dude: I SAID EXCUUUUUUSE ME!

Me:  What?

Handsome Dude:  We have two cats.  Our little kitty is Mr. Poppers.  Our big kitty is Peter.

Me:  David, you look tired.  Are you going to be up for a game tonight?

David:  I don’t know.  Depends on how exciting the game is.

Sweet Pea:  I hope we can play the game!

Daisy Mae:  I can do cartwheels!

Little Dude:  HEY-HEY-HEY-HEY-HEY-HEY-HEY GUYS?!?  Guys!

David:  Quiet you are being rude.  Say “excuse me.”

Little Dude: EXCUSE ME!

David:  Yes?

Little Dude is now standing in his chair and, for reasons unaware, is stroking Jason’s hair.

Because that is normal.

Little Dude:  Our outside kitty attacks mice!

Me:  That’s fantastic.  Why are you touching Jason’s hair?

Little Dude:  I not know.

Me:  What are chairs for?

Little Dude:  Sitting!

Me:  Then let’s sit.

Jason:  I think we are going to go on a little road trip this weekend.

Me:  Cool, where?

Jason:  Oh, well Amy’s never been to-

Little Dude:  HEY-EXCUUUUSE ME, JASON!

Jason:  Yes?

Little Dude is now standing in the chair, stroking Jason’s hair and basically 1/4″ away from Jason’s face.

Little Dude:  When Peter wants to kill a mouse, he goes like this:

(Little Dude begins to creep along the floor, almost as if he were a kitten stalking a mouse.)

Jason:  That’s awesome.

Me:  Dude.  Sit down.

David:  Jason, you better take Amy to-

Handsome Dude:  Peter is the bestest cat!

David:  Don’t interrupt.  It’s rude.

Me:  Has anyone noticed that the boys are desperately trying to steer the conversation towards cats?

Jason:  I’m kind of getting that impression.

Little Dude is standing up and stroking Jason’s hair.  Oddly enough.

Little Dude (shouting as always):  PETER THE CAT ATTACKS OUR CORN IN THE GARDEN JASON!  OUR CORN!  CORN!

Then Little Dude grabs Jason’s water glass, with the hand that is not stroking his hair, and guzzles every last drop of Jason’s water.

Then he slams the empty glass down and dribbles a little bit of excess water on Jason’s arm.

Little Dude:  I fink that when Mr. Poppers is big, he will kill the mices, too.

Me:  Awesome.  Sit down.

Today’s blessings:

* Being able to get together with family

* My kids have a very loving extended family who seems to enjoy them, in spite of themselves.

*My boys are apparently very passionate about cats.  And touching Jason’s hair.

Yesterday was a tough day.  Homeschooling wise.  It all started with this:

That last sentence?  That is SUPPOSED to say:

She is wrapping a present.

But it does not.  Nay.  It most certainly does not.

Grrrrrrrrr.

I promise to you, the people, that I make a great effort to teach these children.  Truly, I do.  Yet, here they are.  Raping presents and all sorts of other inappropriate things.

Let’s discuss some blessings, shall we?  Even if it kills us.

Handsome Dude accidentally let some hens out, as he is wont to do.  Thankfully, he got right to work fixing his mistake.

All hens were recovered and brought back to safety.

Daisy Mae wrote a letter to her Great Aunt.

“We have a big dog named Tank.  He eats our chikens (spelling fail.  grrrrrr) and rabbits.  He is very bad.”

“We homeschool.  I like homeschool.”

Well.  At least somebody like homeschool.

I kid!  I jest!

This morning when I came to the school room, this is what I found:’

Handsome Dude had already gotten out his workbook and started working on his assignment.

Hold the phone! My son?  Doing schoolwork?

And doing it . . . . correctly?!

Holla!

For the purposes of my mental sanity, let us all pretend that the bookcase in the above photo is organized nicely and aesthetically pleasing.

Thank you.

Today’s blessings:

*Being able to overcome the feelings of failure as a teacher and see the humor in a spelling error.

*A daughter who writes a nice letter to her aunt and even says she enjoys homeschooling.  This is encouraging, seeing as how homeschooling takes up my ENTIRE existence.  Basically.

*A son who is willing to go catch hens so they don’t become Tank-food.

*A son who is improving in Kindergarten.

*A book case that gets used by children who enjoy reading.

Happy Day Four!

Everyday in October,  I will post about one blessing from my day.  Some days might be big blessings, some might be terribly unimportant . . . some might be a bit of a joke.

But my goal is to find joy in everyday life.

Mr. Poppers, our foster kitten went missing today.  It was tragic and annoying all at the same time.  Handsome Dude has taken it upon himself to be Mr. Poppers parental guardian, so he was basically a wreck.

We searched the house, and during our search, I realized how awful our house was.  This is not rare, and yet, it surprised me.  So I, too, became a wreck.

I had an awful feeling that Mr. Poppers may have climbed into the freezer while the kids were helping themselves to ice cream.

Yes.  The kids were helping themselves to ice cream.  It was THAT sort of day. The kind of day where you have completely given up and when the kids say:

“Hey, Mom?  Can we have ice cream?!?”

You say:  “Sure, whatever.  Just get it yourself.”

And they rise and call you blessed and you are just happy to have an extra ten minutes to fold laundry.  As if your life could not be any more exciting.

And its not.

I checked the freezer.  No Poppers.  I checked the fridge.  No Poppers.  With much dread and fear, I checked all three toilets.

No Poppers.

Finally, Daisy Mae was getting a roll of toilet paper out of the cabinet in the bathroom and out popped Mr. Poppers.

Oh, it was a blessed moment.

Soon after, David walked in the door.  He came bearing Sweet Pea’s book report gift.  If a child does a book report for David, he will bring them home a prize.  He owed Sweet Pea for two reports, so her prize was a bit bigger than normal.

She got a book light (cheapie from Walmart), candy, gum, and a drink.  She shared the candy with her siblings.  For she is a gem.

Daisy Mae had been complaining of a loose tooth all the livelong day.  It hurt her to do her math.  It hurt her to eat her lunch.  It hurt her to brush her teeth.  It hurt her to redo all the problems she missed on her math.  Finally, I looked at her and said:

“Will you please just go yank it out?”

And she did!

Today’s blessings:

A kitten was found and not forever frozen in time.

A dad who makes reading books exciting.

A child who LOVES to read.

A girl who was brave enough to pull out her own tooth so her wimpy mother did not have to.

Amen.

Everyday in October,  I will post about one blessing from my day.  Some days might be big blessings, some might be terribly unimportant . . . some might be a bit of a joke.

But my goal is to find joy in everyday life.

I know.  It is technically still October 1st, but we are going to feign that it is October 2nd.  Why?  Because.

Every Monday, we leave the house around 9am.  We gather homework, pack lunches, and grab our piano music.

Also every Monday:  Little Dude cannot find his shoes.

Every.

Single.

Monday.

It is my lot in life, my burden to bear.  But I digress.

Getting to our homeschool co-op is no easy feat.  But every week we go, I am happy we made the effort.

Sweet Pea is taking an Apologia Zoology class.  Now, if I were her teacher in Zoology, I would skip over all extra activities and projects.  Because, hello?  I am barely surviving over here.  And I am, most likely, searching for Little Dude’s missing shoe in my spare (ha) time.

But at co-op, she got to make her own bird feeder.

This is just fantastic because it makes me look like I am THAT awesome homeschooling mom, when in fact, I am not.

Oh!  And fun fact.  I am one of the helpers for the Zoology class, so I helped assemble many of these bird feeders today.  So I am a total pro.  If that impresses you.  And I’m sure it doesn’t.

Going to co-op takes a lot of time and effort, and quite a bit of gas, but there are many blessings that come out of it.

* My kids have friends that they look forward to seeing each week.

* My kids are learning to listen and follow directions from teachers other than yours truly.

*  My kids are learning how to act in a classroom environment.

* I am meeting friends.  Turns out moms like friends, too!  Who knew?!

*  I get to see how other people teach and gain insight on homeschooling.

*  We get OUT OF THE HOUSE

In case you are not in the know, this is how our homeschool co op works.  Parents sign up to teach different classes for different ages.  The kids are offered a few choices for each class hour and they attend that class.  For example, Sweet Pea is taking:  Zoology, Writing, and Around the World.  Around the World is a class that studies one country every two weeks.  Daisy Mae is taking:  Just for Fun (which is aptly named), Writing, and Around the World.  Handsome Dude is taking Kindergarten and Little Dude is taking preschool.  Imagine that.  I teach a 1st-3rd Draw Write Now class, which is awesome because I can’t draw and a preschool class where we are going through the Days of Creation.  But basically, I am just trying to survive that one and keep everyone alive, seeing as how it is the last class of the day and the preschoolers are WIPED.  I have high expectations for life.

After Co-op, the girls get dropped off at piano and I get to run an errand with my boys.  We either do a little shopping, run to the library or hit the park.

And I always, ALWAYS, make sure I stop for coffee.

Coffee.

It just might be the biggest blessing of all.

Everyday in October,  I will post about one blessing from my day.  Some days might be big blessings, some might be terribly unimportant . . . some might be a bit of a joke.

But my goal is to find joy in everyday life.

We got our first wood stove early on in our marriage.  I was against it.  But this does not surprise us.

Who has time to fall trees?  Who has time to split wood?  Who has the muscles to split wood?  Who has time to keep the fire loaded?

Not I.

Alas.  We got a wood stove.  David always runs that thing hot like lava.  I’m talking 97 degrees in December.

December,  I tell you!

I have always found myself humorous.  It’s one of the qualities I like best about myself.  So I, in the spirit of I, took a picture of our dogs with the Hawaiian leis because it was sooooooo hot.

See?  Funny.

Anyways.  For twelve years now, give or take a year, we have heated our home with wood.  And that wood must be gathered by my Lumberjack.  For what is a Lumberjack without his love of wood falling?  I ask you?

And, yes.  People actually talk like that.  They say things like “He felled a tree” and “load it in the rig.”  I know, I know.  I can barely believe it myself.

I am convinced, readers, that wood heat has cost us a fortune.  Allow me to illustrate with a little tale that happened this very weekend.

On Saturday, David woke up bright and early to go and fulfill his life’s purpose and gather wood for his beloved family.  Since his general life motto is “Go Big or Go Home,”  he of course had to take the truck and his trailer.

Lo, and behold, the trailer got a flat tire.  Therefore, he had to stop at a small town on the way home and pay many dollars to fix it.

Fine.  Super.  No big deal, right?

Mmmm-hmmmm.

On Sunday, David gets up again at O Dark Thirty to get even more wood.  Remember, this is what he lives for.  Daisy Mae goes with him, because she is clearly insane.  David had already “felled” (really!  people say it!  I KNOW!) the wood, so this trip would be a bit easier than the one the day before.  He told me he should be home by about 1pm.  When he is “wood-fellin,” he does not have cell service until he is about one hour away from home.

Around 1:45, I started to get a bit nervous.  I tried calling his phone, but he was still out of service.  I went to the bathroom and missed a call from an unknown number.  I, being the sleuth that I am, used the power of The Google and learned, much to my horror, that the number was from the forest ranger for the exact area that David and Daisy Mae were gathering wood.

A million things go through my mind, but the most persistent one was that they were both dead.  Because I never worry.

I tried to call the forest ranger number back about five times and got a machine.

I called David’s cell, even though it was out of range.

I called my mother twice.  TWICE.  And she did not answer.

What’s up with that?

For twenty minutes I was in a panic.  And then I got a call from Jason.

Remember Jason?

Jason is David’s youngest younger brother.  And he hearts it when I post that picture of him.

Apparently, David was calling from the Forest Ranger phone, but did not have the audacity to leave me a message.  David’s truck broke an axle.  Or something like that.  I don’t’ speak “truck.” He called Jason and Jason was en route to rescue David and Daisy Mae.

Finally, thanks to Jason and his mad-axle bearing skills, David and Daisy Mae were on their way home.

Only to have a tire blowout.

When David arrived, he informed me that the truck has major problems.  Like lots of dollars problems.

This is not good.

But, it’s ok.

Because for twenty minutes today, I was certain the two of them were horribly injured or worse.  I felt helpless and terrified and I had no idea what to do.  All I wanted in the world at that moment was for them to be okay.

And they were.

And they were pretty successful little wood gatherers, too.

So, tonight, I smiled when Daisy Mae bragged to her siblings about her grand adventure.  I laughed when she dramatically retold a story of how she saw an eagle (or an owl . . . she can’t be sure) and it was staring her down, getting ready to attack.  She prattled on and on about how Jason brought her French Fries and she ate lunch at 9:30am (giggle giggle) and she got to do cartwheels by the river.

And I am just thankful that everyone is in their beds, safe and sound.

No matter how costly the wood heat now is.

For the month of October, I am going to (attempt to) post every day as part of a “31 Day” challenge hosted by The Nester.

I was trying to decide on a topic for my 31 days.  At first, I was going to go with:

31 Days to Enjoying Homeschooling.

ha.

There were a few problems with that one.

1)  That would limit my audience.  Not everyone is as doomed lucky as I am to be a homeschooling marm.

2)  I seriously could not come up with 31 posts on homeschooling.

3)  If I had to write about  “the joys” of homeschooling AND homeschool at the same time, the post series would quickly morph into:

“31 Days of Transitioning your Children into Public School.”

I kid!  I jest!

So, I have realized that I am just tired lately and not finding much joy in life, particularly in my children.  And what is the point of being blessed with having children if you are not enjoying them?

And even though I am sarcastic and joke a lot, I truly do feel blessed by my children.

For reals.  Or realz.  Whichever you prefer.

They are so cute and funny and naughty all wrapped into one.

I was doing Little Dude’s Bible lesson for church with him the other night.  His lesson was on being a good friend.

Me:  Is sharing being a good friend?

LD: Yup.

Me:  Is saying, “I don’t like you anymore being a good friend?”

LD:  Nope.

Me:  Is hitting being a good friend?

LD:  Nope.

Me:  Is saying “You’re nice.” being a good friend?

LD:  Yup.

Me:  Okie dokes.  Looks like you know how to be a good friend.

LD (shouting, per usual):  AND MOM-MOM-MOM-MOM . . . IF YOU SEE A MAN DEAD ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD, YOU HAFTA  BE A GOOD FRIEND AND HELP.  RIGHT, MOM?  RIGHT?  RIGHT?  RRRRRRIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHTTTTT?

Seriously.  The boy is always yelling.  We’ll call it a blessing.  He is not shy.  See?  I’m getting the hang of this!  I CAN and will find blessings everyday.

So, in an effort to combat the blues that has so easily entangled me, I shall be finding ONE blessing from each day in October.

This will be interesting.  I am pretty cranky.

But I shall persevere. Who knows?  Perhaps I shall find blessings in those wretched rabbits.

But who are we kidding?

They are awful.

Alright.  Stayed tuned.