The Lumberjack's Wife

This is what I see everytime I sit down:

They love me.

Things have been a whirlwind over here.  Kate got a bit homesick and it was discovered that she could continue her college classes here at home since they were all online, so I woke up at 2 am,  flew down one way,  and drove her home all in the same day.

Because I am THE MOM.  And that is what moms do.

It has been nice having the Fab Four back together again.

LD finished up his basketball season.  He turned out to be a total beast his 8th grade year.

Here’s a quick video of his pal tossing him the ball and LD makes the layup.

And thus ends the 2021-2022 basketball season.

***

HD has his driving permit and, so far, he is the LEAST terrifying new driver we have had.

***

In my fabulous first grade class, I am pleading with my students to SHOW THEIR WORK in math.

One boy wrote-

IT IS MATH.

And here’s another kiddo’s work-

So.  You could say things are going well.

We are incubating chicks and I am about 72% sure I am currently incubating a bunch of duds.  The kids do not know this, but I do, and so I am trying to come up with plan B.

On day 1 of this project, I found this on Hal’s desk-

It is a count down and on day 21 it says “big bay.”  He, of course, meant “big day,” but b/d reversal is a thing in the Land of First Grade.

***

Today was cow sorting day, and, for reasons no one will ever know, David elected Kate to be the castration expert.  So.  Kate castrated a little bull calf.  She apologized to him frequently, which I felt was a nice touch.

When it was time to get to the nitty gritty of the cow sorting, David said something to this effect:

I need someone who is COMPETENT to stand over there.

So, of course, no one moved a muscle.

I was like, dude, just select people and tell them where to stand.

Anyways, I believe Kate,Hadley, and I were on Team Incompetant.  We were just standing and our purpose was to not let cows get by us.

I think Kate is napping on the gate over there.

Being on Team Incompetant isn’t the most thrilling of occupations.

LD was on fence repair elsewhere and David, HD, and Hadley’s boyfriend were on Team Competant and they were able to rope Maisy’s wayward teenager calf.

And then she had to be drug to the correct pen.  She did not like this and fought us all and at one point she knocked me down and I fell in poop.

Happy Sunday!

HD turned 15 and Hadley turned 18.

Babies-

Teens-

HD started his drives for Driver’s Ed, but he has been driving on our property for awhile now and is probably already a better driver than Kate.

Hadley has been working on filling out college applications and absolutely killing me dead while doing so.

Hadley:  Mom?  An I an international student?

For the love.

But then she began inquiring about starting a Roth IRA, so maybe everything will even out.

***

Let’s talk about The Big Move.

Mom and I were scheduled to leave on Sunday, however, Kate became a bit homesick so we adjusted plans to go a day early so we could spend an evening with her on the road, as she was on the way to Auntie Datenut’s.

She is a busy bee and working hard as a CNA at a nursing home/rehabilition center.  She chatted with us about her job and it sounds like she is working her hiney off to make sure she is quickly meeting her patients needs, so that makes me feel so puffed up with pride.  She strongly dislikes having her patients sit in soiled diapers, so I give her two thumbs up!

What a nice gal!

Because of the schedule change, Mom and I had to drive 15 hours in one day, and that is a lot for a couple of old gals such as us.

Also, should we talk about gas prices?

Nah.  Too depressing.

My mom and dad are both originally from Southern California and used to live in the area where Auntie currently resides.  My parents do not completely understand the benefits of GPS and blue tooth and mom came with paper directions from my father.

Like directions.  On a piece of paper.  To read.

Me:  Dad.  I can use GPS and connect to Bluetooth and Siri will just talk to us and take us there.

Dad:  She can talk to you?  Through the stereo?

Me:  Yes.

Dad:  Well, that’s pretty slick!

However, and sadly, my parents do not trust Siri to know the correct freeway routes and have you ever driven in the LA freeway system?  How many freeways do they need?

Over here in our parts we have ONE.

But, I digress.

My parents take this freeway route quite seriously and must shout/talk and take notes.

My dad:  I DON’T CARE WHAT GPS SAYS, GET OFF THE 5 and got to the 210 to the 60 to the 91 to the 15 to the 405.

(That is not what he really said.  I cannot remember.  But he used that many freeways.)

Problem was that father did not have the address for the hotel and so we had Siri rerouting us every five seconds and we ended up lost at a Walmart at 9:30 pm.

I coerced my parents to allow me one try to have SIRI take us there and if we still got lost, we would call dad and get notes.

Siri got us there in five minutes and Sisters Meagan and Jess had dinner delivered to our hotel door and is not that just the nicest?

Mom and I whipped out all of our muscles and helped Auntie pack up her apartment Monday-Wednesday.

On Thursday, David flew in and I picked him up and we went straight to get the Uhaul truck.  The truck was about $400 more than we were originally told, and I tried to fight it and the guy was like:

“Yeah, no.  EVERYONE is moving out of California and we are struggling with equipment.  This is the price.”

So.  That was that.

You know what is stressful?

I’ll tell you.

Loadng a Uhaul and knowing that you are getting on the road with it in just a couple of hours and realizing that all of Auntie’s stuff will not fit in the Uhaul.

So, we started sorting into priority, we loaded all that we could, and we had to trash the rest.

Because, what can you do?

David and I headed for home with the Uhaul and Mom and Auntie left in Mom’s car so they could go at a more leisurely place and stop and visit some sisters.

My mom is one of seven!  Did you know that?

Now you do.

Also, should we talk about gas prices with a Uhual?

Nah.  Too depressing.

David and I got home and the boys helped us unload.  The Uhaul was SO full and as soon as they opened the back, they had to stop several boxes from spilling out.

And then, we unloaded into her apartment and she arrived the next day and now we have a new neighbor!

I am very thankful to David and the kids for helping create this nice living space for Auntie.

We got home from school last night and without being asked, HD went and knocked on her door to check on Auntie to see if she needed anything-and then he fixed something for her.  And that is just plain kind.

***

Spring break is over.  I am back at school.

Here is a cute picture of Rio wishing I was paying attention to her, rather than to bills.

Happy Wednesday!

Things are going great over here.  Not stressed at all, thanks for asking.

The apartment.

David keeps making me caulk and paint and paint and remove paint and then paint and then caulk and then paint and then, oh yeah, plaster, and sanding and painting and , Reader, I am over it.

Also.  I am TERRIBLE at it.  And, yet.  I press on.

After I foolishly thought I was all done, for about the 17th time, he trimmed the crawl space and so that needed to be painted to match the rest of the ceiling.

Me:  Can I paint it now?

David:  First you need to caulk around the edges and then fill in the nail holes with putty.

Me, dying a thousand deaths, yet not being dramatic at all:  Doooooooood.  I am really good at filling nail holes with paint.  Can I skip the putty part?

David:  Sure.  And then you can redo it later the right way.

Me:

So.  I did it the right way the first time.  Even though I do NOT see the point.

We are all very tired.  Our goal was to be completely finished this weekend, but that did not happen.  I just keep saying over and over again:

Well.  I do have Saturday.

Because.  I have Saturday.  And then on Sunday, Mom and I leave to fetch Auntie.

You guyz.  I literally spent like 8 hours removing old paint from window frames this weekend.  And it wasn’t even all my fault!  It was the stupid peach paint that was sprayed when whoever build this house built this house!

Peach paint.  I shudder.

Let’s look at the progress, shall we?  It will make us all feel better.

This is not an accurate representation of the wall color.  I don’t know what is going on with the lighting.  I am not a photographer.

David et al built a porch this weekend while I was wasting away my days removing paint from window frames.

Me:  David, I think Auntie needs more of a ramp then stairs.

David:  I don’t know how to build a ramp.

Me:  Hmmmm.

And then I got distracted and busy.  Oh!  Did I tell you?

I had to spend the whole weekend removing paint off of window frames.

And somehow David figured out to build a ramp.

The new porch is dirty.  We have a mud issue.

Let’s move on.

Along with the apartment building, we are also raising children.  LD is playing many a basketball game and scoring all the points, like the stud we all knew he would be.

Hadley was invited to play in an All Star game for local seniors of our areas.

Hadley and HD both have birthdays this week.  Ask me how prepared I am for THAT.

***

School is stressful these days.  There are so many things to do and we are getting ready for Spring Conferences and progress reports.

I have found that whole-heartedly sing/shouting Celine Dion’s classic hit, “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now” truly helps relieve the stress of school.  It is most particularly helpful if you completely belt out the line-“Baby, Baby, Baby, when you-” while doing the morning chores.

Sleeping teens LOVE it.

In first grade, I am reading them more chapter books that don’t have as many pictures as they are used to.  This is a good time to teach them a strategy called “visualizing.”  We call it “making a movie in your head.”

Last week, I was most particularly over all the interruptions while I was trying to read the story.

Have you ever tried to teach first grade?  It’s a wild scene.  You are trying to get through whatever you are trying to get through and someone has to pee and someone is wondering if we missed first recess and someone else has a grandma coming to town and someone’s neighbor’s dog is named Leroy and then someone’s tooth will fall out.

Anyways.  I am trying to get through the story and another precious hand pops up to interrupt me for the 8 billionth time, and no, I am not exaggerating.

The book I was reading has one illustration to go with each chapter.

Student:  Mrs. M?

Me (trying to be patient.):  Yes?

Student:  Mrs. M.  I am making the movie!  You know the movie in my head!  And then you showed me the picture!  And I wanted to tell you the picture looks exactly like the movie in my head!

And then I died a thousand deaths because it was finally an appropriate interruption.

And then someone else’s tooth fell out.

***

Calf number 8 was born the other day.  The calves are all that is precious in this world and there is nothing better than going out to see this after a long day-

We had a bit of sadness with the birth of calf #9.  Mama had gone into labor the night before and when we checked on her Sunday morning, the baby was partially out, but dead.

David and I traipsed on out there at the break of dawn to try and help get the baby out.

When calves are born, usually their feet come out first, together.  You know.  Like Superman.  This little one had one foot still stuck and that is why mama couldn’t get him out.  David had to push the head back into the cow and find the other foot.  Once we had both feet out, David tied string to each foot and together we pulled the calf out.

And it was so very dead.  And mama went over and licked it and I wondered if her heart was broken and then we had to go work on the apartment and David made me caulk and paint and paint and paint and paint.

It is a good thing I am not a complainer.

***

David finally bought me that Number One Wife Shirt, but it comes in the form of a sweatshirt and says Best Wife Ever.

I don’t have a picture yet.

I have been too busy painting.

Later, Gators.

We now have seven total new baby calves over here.

Our most recent one was just born two days ago.  Can you see him?

Mama has him tucked away in some hay.

Yesterday, I noticed that the newest little guy was in one specific area most of the day and it appeared as if Mama was trying to get him to come with her.  After a few hours, I went out to see if I could help.

Can you see him in there?  He is the little black lump and mama is up top.  Our ground is very soft and muddy right now and I was wondering if he was having trouble making it up the incline to mama.  I didn’t want Mama to beat me up, because we all know she would win, so I decided to walk around and try to intervene on the other side of the fence.  Because I am a total scaredy-cat.

I went and nudged him in the hiney and he got up. Mama became concerned.  Mooing ensued.  And she was able to start to get him to walk up the hill.  He was definitely weak, but she got him up there and didn’t even need to kill me over it or anything.

I love to listen to them moo to each other.

David went missing the other night, leaving the kids and I perplexed as to what he could be doing.  When he returned I was too asleep to get the story, but was awake enough to know that his side of the bed was hot like lava all night long.

Me:  David!  Why do you need so much heat?

David:  Because I am freezing!  I was out in the rain and mud for hours and had my arms up inside a cow’s insides!

Me:  What on earth were you doing last night?

Reader.  Here is what he was doing.

He stopped at our “neighbor’s” house to borrow a piece of equipment.

We call anyone who lives within 20 minutes of us our “neighbor.”

While he was there, he noticed a bunch of the neighborly people running around the cow pen trying to get a cow into a squeeze chute.  The cow had legs sticking out of her hiney.  We have been getting tons of rain lately so everything is extra muddy.  David was not wearing any sort of mud boots or gear for helping birth a baby, but he jumped right into the action.  As good neighbors do.

They got the cow into the chute and then tied some twine around the calf’s legs and were able to pull the calf out-alive!  But mama cow was not doing so well and ended up with a prolapsed uterus.  They called a vet and followed instructions and worked on trying to put that poor cow’s insides back inside of her for quite awhile.  They were not successful.

So.  She was put down.  Right then and there.  The neighbor guy just shot her.

Why is everything so sad?  Why am I living this life?  I am not emotionally stable enough to deal with such things.

The baby was a girl and was walking around and drinking from a bottle when David left.  David said no one told him that they needed me to take over and be the calf’s mama, but I will remain open to the idea.

David brought home these horrendous looking bones for the dogs.  He assured me they were not from the cow that was put down the night before, because that would be silly.

They are a lovely addition to our interior decor.  And we are still trying to see if the shoes David was wearing that night can be saved.

***

The other day, I shamelessly asked David if I could steal some of the delish grape gum he has stashed in his work van.  He looked surprised, because all I ever like is peppermint, and told me he was all out.

Then he used my car to run an errand.

When I got into my car the next day, I had a full tank of gas AND my own package of grape gum.

So.  That is just love right there.

***

We are still building an apartment!  I keep thinking we are almost done and then David says I have to caulk and paint and I want everyone to know that I will not be winning any awards for my caulking and painting skills.  And I am over it.  Along with the caulking and painting, the old porch was ripped out.

And then new posts were set in concrete to get ready for the new one.

We will work on the apartment again today.

Ask me what MY job will be.

Go ahead.  Ask.

***

Awhile ago, I meantioned that we have sponsored a Compassion girl from Uganda for over ten years.  She had written me a concerning letter that sounded like she had been raped.  She is 19 and now has an almost one year old baby boy.  We were able to send her a financial gift in addition to her compassion fees.  I just got a letter from her and the sweet girl gave me an accounting for every penny she spent and was very thankful.  She bought all practical things, like food and clothes and milk for her baby.  She then went on to say she had some money left over and was able to start a business.  It sounds like she was able to buy a stand and some produce and she sells the produce.  Here is a picture she sent me, showing herself holding her little baby and talking to a customer.

She hasn’t ever sent a picture before!  She is so sweet in her letters and I am glad we have been connected with her.

***

Guess what David was finally prompted to buy me?

Happy Sunday.

Thursday Night.

David:  Taylor.  I need you to take the truck and gooseneck to school tomorrow please.

Me:  The TRUCK?  And BIG TEX?

David:  Yeah.  I will come and grab it from you and switch you cars.  I need to go and pick up the skidsteer.

Me (trying to be brave):  But, David!  Where will I park it?

David:  In the street.

Reader.  I work at an elementary school that is surrounded by a residential neighborhood.

Me:  David, this is all very stressful for me.  I cannot back it up if I get into trouble.  It is the 100th day of school, so I will be dressed as an old lady with a bunch of baby powder in my hair, and I promised my kids a soup party, so I have to bring in a crockpot and soup supplies!

David:  You’re the best.

You guys.  This is what the truck and Big Tex look like.

Me:  DAVID!  THERE ARE PALLETS ON THERE!

David: Yup.

Me: THEY BETTER NOT FLY OFF!

And if this doesn’t prompt David to finally buy me that #1 Wife t-shirt, well I don’t know what will.

So.  I dressed up as an old lady.  I asked Hadley to powder my hair.

Me:  Hadley, I need you to dump a bunch of baby powder in my hair.

Hadley:  Why?

Me:  So I can look like I am 100 years old.

Hadley:  Why?

Me:  Because it is the 100th day of school.

So.  She dumped a bunch of baby powder in my hair.  And I got a crate with all my supplies for soup, loaded it into the truck, and toodled on down the road to school.

I successfully parked the truck and Big Tex, but I had to park it a bit away from the school.  And I truly wonder what any residents who may have looked out their windows thought when they saw me, a woman with gray hair looking like she should NOT be driving such a rig, parking this beast in front of their houses, hopping out of the truck, grabbing a crate of soup supplies, and just walking down the road away from the rig.

Like a normal person.

The 100th day went well.

Student:  Mrs. M!  When I first saw you I thought you were a GUEST TEACHER!  You look different!
Me:  Oh, yeah?

Student:  But I figured out if was you because you are still so funny!

*cute*

We finished The Tale of Despereaux and had a soup party.  We all loved the story and a group of kids play “Tale of Despereaux” at recess now.  So that is cute.

When I was done for the day, I hauled my soup supplies back out and instead had to hop in the work van, which is much smaller and more manageable than the truck and Big Tex.

My Principal:  Taylor!  Is that your husband’s work van?

Me:  Yes, we had to switch for today.

Principal:  Goodness!  That thing is huge!

Me:  Yup.

Oh, if she only knew what I had to drive to town.

***

This weekend, David and the boys were all about digging a trench for a new water line.  The new line would serve two purposes:

Add more water supply to cows and connect Auntie’s apartment to water.

HD on the mini excavator we gratefully borrowed from a friend:

LD worked on removing fencing while David used the newly repaired skidsteer to push snow out of the way.

They worked hard all day and made tons of progress.

LD in the trench-

LD pushing the dirt back to fill in the trench.

Saturday was a beautiful day.  As you can see from the pictures.

My job was to clean our disgusting house, with help of Hadley, check on cows, and work on senior stuff for Hadley.

So.  Cows.

Matilda and her baby boy.

And that cute little baby posing for a single shot.

We have this heifer.  Let’s call her 152.  We think she is in labor, but she is totally tricking us.  I have gone out to check on her no less than 87 times this weekend and I have about 42 inappropriate videos of her private areas on my phone.

Anyways.  On to Sunday.  Also known as today.

Today was cold and snow covered and chilly.  We did online church and then got right back to work.  Hadley’s chore from David was to drive all the way to town to get some conduit.

She wasn’t super excited, as you can imagine most teens would not be, but I encouraged her by saying:

“Come on!  You CON-DO-IT!”

And I laughed and laughed.

Sadly, only my firsties and myself find me to be funny.

Anyways.  The boys got back to work on trench-y things and here is a picture of where the water will connect to the apartment.  In case you cared.

And I am sure you do.

The day turned sour when HD accidentally broke our main water line with the excavator.  So David had to go traverse to many stores across the areas to try to find things to fix it and I was taking videos of a heifer’s backside.  I am worried that something is wrong.  It seems like she has been laboring too long.  She will act like she is pushing and struggling and then she will go and eat for 2 hours and seem fine.  It is all very confusing.

David sent some of my high quality videos to FF and he said he thinks she is ok but we should call him tomorrow evening if she has not calved.

David fixed the line and the dudes all got back to work.

I am tired.  It has been A DAY.  I am worried about heifer 152.  But I am thankful to have water again.

Here is Matilda’s heifer calf who was born a year ago.

Happy Sunday.

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed that Opal, our charolaise heifer, had a new-to-her largish udder.

Me:  We need to watch Opal.  I think she is going to calve soon.

David:  Nah.  She probably already had the calf, was a terrible mother, and left it to die.

Me:  !

So, I check the cows morning and evening, and Opal has no change.  I report my findings to David and he is still pessimistic and sure Opal was an unfit mother.

Last Tuesday night, her udder had completely ballooned, so I was sure hopeful she was close and there was an actual baby in there.  I looked Wednesday before school and could not find her anywhere.  I came home Wednesday afternoon and looked and looked and spotted her just before dark-

With a tiny black calf.

So.  I win.

David is still unsure if Opal will be a good mother because he’s more of a “glass is half empty” kind of guy.  So the next morning at daybreak, I trudged on out there to show him proof of life.

And if that doesn’t prompt David to buy me that #1 Wife T Shirt, I don’t know what will.

And why, may I ask, is this calf black?  Total rip off.

I was hoping it would look like my old friend, Dutch Bro.  Dutch Bro had a Charloaise dad and a black dairy cow mama and he turned out a creamy brown.

Remember Dutch Bro?

Anyways.  Opal and calf are fine and dandy.  We have five new, untagged calves at this time and they make my world go round.

Opal and baby.

Here are three little guys hanging out in their mamas’ food.

And this dude with his mama.

We are just finishing up a four day weekend.  The weekend started off with no plans, and then quickly turned into a weekend full of many plans.

On Thursday night, I went and saw three of my firsties play in a basketball game, and it was the cutest thing ever.  These boys took the game very seriously, but when they took a break on the bench they would smile and wave at me with all the joy.  Then I went to watch LD star on his new junior high basketball team. He appreciates me watching his game, but he does not smile and wave at me.

Sad.

He has had two games so far and scored 17 and 11 points in each.  I think he likes playing on his own team apart from HD.

On Friday, I cleaned.

On Saturday, Hadley and I went to watch another student basketball game and then hopped on the road to join my parents who were spending the night at a cabin on a river, but not the same river we are always at.

Please, try to keep up.

My parents were getting their house painted and their friend offered their cabin so they could get away while the painting was to be done.  So Hadley and I zipped over to join them for a night.

Gorgeous, no?

And then we had to meet up with David and HD to spend ALL of our monies and more on items needed for the apartment.  David and the boys have been rocking it in the apartment.  They have the electrical trim work done, kitchen cabinets installed and counterops glued in.

HD did all the can lights after David showed him the ropes.

Cabinets and countertops (not finished, but as they are now)

And the bathroom vanity.  Hadley installed the knobs and such.

We also found a used appliance set-so that was a huge blessing.

***

Me yesterday:  Looks like we are headed into spring weather!  Hooray.

Today:

***

I was working with a small group of our most struggling readers in first grade.

And if I had a nickel for every time I had to remind a child to actually READ the word and not GUESS the word, well, I would have probably been able to afford brand new appliances for the apartment.

The sentence was “Come and look . . . ”

Student:  Come and see

Me:  Try again

Student:  Come and play

Me:  Please look at the word

Student:  Come and see

Me:  What is the first sound of this word?

Student actually looks at the word thoughtfully for more than 5 seconds.

Student:  Oh!  Come and look

*sigh*

Over and over and over and over.

They have the skills, but they need to apply them.

Me the entire group:  No guessie-guessie!  These words aren’t going to read themselves!

Students:  *giggle* chuckle* giggle*

And . . . I love them.

Right after this intense reading group I had a student tattle happen.

Student (in high alert stress mode):  Mrs. M!  Mrs. M!  Johnny said A BAD WORD!  THE “S” WORD!

Me:  Ok, what was the word.

Stand down, Reader.  I know it is probably dicey to ask kids to repeat the word, but they think lots of different words are bad words.  And there is a bit of a difference between a kid saying something is stupid and saying something is the other s word.

If you know what I mean

And I think you do.

Student:  It was a bad word!  The S-R word!

Me:  The S-R word?  You are going to need to whisper the word to me.

Student (eyes all scandalous like):  CRAP!

Me:  Dude.  Stop.  What is the FIRST sound you hear in “crap?”  Is it an “s”?  No.

So I worked in a phonics lesson and spoke to Johnny about school appropriate words.

Happy Monday!

In class, we finished up the Mercy Watson series by Kate DiCamillo.

I have a new student.  He was not happy about switching schools and being with us.  He kept trying to go home sick and told his mom he missed his old school.  Which is understandable.

Last week, we were almost done with our last Mercy Watson book.  New kiddo got called to the office to go home for the day because his brother was sick and mom was there to pick brother up.  New kiddo happily popped back in a few minutes later.

Me:  I thought you were going home?

New Kiddo:  My mom said I could stay!

Me:  You wanted to stay?

New Kiddo:  I asked her if I could stay and ride the bus home.

Me (picking up Mercy Watson):  Well, I am glad you get to spend more time with us today.

New Kiddo:  YES!!!!!!!!!!!! I was hoping I wouldn’t miss the end of the book!

So.  Three cheers for good books and reading together as a class.  It is simply the best.

Since we had finished our series, we had our “Toast Party.”  Because Mercy Watson LOVES toast-with a great deal of butter on it.

We started a new book by Kate DiCamillo-The Tale of Despereaux.

Now, THIS is a good book.  I recommend everyone reads it.  I started reading a few chapters and then stopped at the end of a chapter.

Kiddo:  Awww, MAN!  You ALWAYS stop at the good part.

Be still my heart.

Mack came to school in teeny tiny pants.  Like the world’s tightest pair of jeans.  I am not sure how he even got them on, but the button kept popping open and he literally could not bend enough to sit down.  They were probably his jeans when he was 4 years old, no joke.

I chatted with the counselor at lunch and she went to grab him to see if she could find him some new pants.

Mack, ever the gentle spirit, was following her into the office, shouting and staring at his hands: “HANDS?!  What is wrong with my hands?  Why do I need new hands?”

Me:  Buddy.  She is trying to see if she has an extra pair of PANTS for you.

Mack:  Ohhhhh.

She finds him some snazzy sweatpants and you would think Mack just won the lottery.

Mack:  Can I keep them!?!

Counselor:  Sure can.

And for the rest of the day, Mack was bending and twisting happily with freedom.

I am going to let you in on a little secret.  At times, I worry about Mack.  And sometimes I am not quite sure if he is even really with me.  I mean, I am completely aware that his little body is with me, because it is always twirling right near me, but I am not so sure his mind is always with me.

I was reading “Tale of Despereaux” and Mack was testing out the new flexibility of his sweatpants.  All other kids are sitting still and look towards me as I read, and Mack is practicing for his gymnastics routine.

In this book, the narrator will talk to the reader.  And here is a direct quote I read to the class-

“Reader.  Do you believe there is such a thing as happily ever after?”

Mack shouts:  YES! I DO!

So.  He IS listening.  And I love him.

***

Kate is still far, far away.  And she probably misses us, but she really misses her dog, Niko.  So I try to send her cute little snaps throughout the week.

Like this one where Niko had slowly crawled up to join me on the couch as I was reading.

Look at that nose.  Love it.

***

The cows are good and the calves are all that is precious in this world.  Hazel would have turned one on the 12th, so that was bittersweet.

I was out checking on the cows and they were all standing around chewing their cud.  And then, without any communication that I could see, they all collectively decided it was time to go and get a drink.

And they did.

***

The apartment work continues.

We put in flooring.  And when I say “we”, I mean David and HD.

I did, however, sweep and open boxes.

Happy Tuesday.

When last we spoke, I told you that I had to buy HD a nice button down shirt for his final basketball game because, and I quote,

“COACH SAID WE NEED TO LOOK NICE.”

“GOSH.”

And, so.  I took him to the mall and I bought him the shirt.  I spent more than I would have wanted to do, but I figured it would be a nice investment and good for him to have a button down shirt nicely hanging in his closet.

He wore the shirt for 2 hours.

I washed the shirt and put it in his clean clothes basket, along with his other clean clothes.

He was in a rush and was scrambling through the basket and left the arm of the button down shirt dangling over the basket.

The basket just so happens to sit on top of dog kennels.

One of the puppy brothers was able to pull the sleeve through the kennel and destroy it.

The button down shirt.

A tragedy.

And a complete waste of money.

Let’s move on.

It appears that calving season hath begun around here, and I am not complaining.

Look at this handsome fellow and just TRY to help me he isn’t the cutest boy you ever did see.

Let’s talk about first graders, as I spend a good chunk of my week with them.

I often say the phrase, “Sure thing, Jelly Bean.”  For example:

1st grader:  Mrs. M?  Can I fill up my water bottle?

Me:  Sure thing, Jelly Bean.

One of my boys, who thinks I am hilarious, doesn’t fully understand why I say Jelly Bean.  I think that he thinks it is a term of endearment.  So, now, everyday when I say goodbye to him, he hugs me and shouts:

“BYE, JELLY BEAN!”

***

We are working on learning how to write an informational paper and we just wrapped up a book on wolves.  The last thing to do was to illustrate each page.

Hal:  Look, Mrs. M!  Look at my wolf!  He is FARTING!

Hal is dying of laughter and there is a wolf on his page with a cloud of farts coming out of his rear end.

Me:  Hmmm.  I am wondering if that is the best type of drawing for your informational writing?  Sounds more like if you were writing a fantasy book?

Hal:  Hmmm.  Ok.

And Hal goes back to work.

Later.

Hal:  Look, Mrs. M!  Wolves are farting on EVERY page.  It is just too funny.

***

One of my boys went to the bathroom and decided it would be hilarious to crawl on the floor and enter the stalls of unsuspecting second graders.  And then he had the audacity to pretend he didn’t understand why that would be a bad choice.

***

I was unexpectedly late to school on Tuesday.  I will get back to that soon.

Another teacher was covering my class.  I walked in and Mack shouted:

“YAY!  MISS D IS HERE!  WE CAN PLAY BALL!”

Because Mack calls me the name of his kindergarten teacher and Mack loves to play ball with me at recess.

The kids have three recesses, but I am only outside with them for the first and last one.  First recess is my first chance to go to the bathroom, so when the other first grade teachers are out, we all take turns.

I went to the bathroom.

When I came back outside, some of my students came over to inform me of what has happened since I went to the bathroom.

“Mrs. M.  Mack is very upset and crying because you aren’t playing ball with him.”

I scan the playground and see Mack, far far away, in the fetal position with the ball, wailing.

Me:  Well.  Tell him I just had to go to the bathroom and if he wants to play ball he can come over here and ask me.

All my girls go run over to tell Mack this message.

They return.

“Mack says he is too sad.”

Me:  Bummer.  Well, I am here and able to play if he wants to.

Lest any of you think I am cruel, I need to kind of be in this certain area to help watch the 75 first graders we are monitoring.  And I love to play ball with Mack, but I need to be able to also watch the kids.  Plus, he can ask me to play and not wail to others.

Recess is 15 min long and he starts finally coming towards me at minute 14.  He has tears everywhere and is hiccuping.

Me:  Hi, Mack!  Wanna play ball?

He nods and tosses the ball.  I catch it.  We play it for 30 seconds, but then the recess whistle blew.

Mack, wailing: “I HARDLY GOT TO PLAY BALL WITH MISS D”

We go back to the classroom and learning all the fabulous things first graders learn.  Mack has pulled it together and gotten over the trajedy of not spending as much time with me as he had hoped.  And can you blame him?  As far as I know, I am delightful.

Now, it is time for the kids to get ready for lunch and recess.

Mack, wailing:  OH, MAN.  THIS IS THE RECESS THAT MISS D ISN’t WITH US.  I CAN’T PLAY BALL WITH HER.

Me:  Well.  There’s always last recess, Bud.

For.  The.  Love.

Ok.  We need to move on and discuss why I was late.

On Tuesday, I started my car and then my car locked me out.

AGAIN.

Hadley and her car were already gone.  The subaru is at the mechanic.  The truck was at a different mechanic.  David was working out of town 8 hours away.

I call David.  He is less than impressed, but he agrees to help me break into my car.

I tried for one hour.

Reader.  It is really difficult to break into a car.  I was able to pry the door open, but finding something to stick down there to hit the unlock button proved a challenge.

I tried calling a tow truck company, but no one was answering.  So I asked my neighbor if he was around, and he was.  Sadly, he didn’t have much experience breaking into cars, but one of the guys who works for him did.

So.  Random dude named Mark came over and broke into my car for me in about 90 seconds.

Three cheers for Mark!

Reader.  I am NOT this dumb.  Something is wrong with my car.  I now wear the key fob around my neck and shall not ever leave it in the car when I start it.

Happy Friday.