The Lumberjack's Wife

We now have seven total new baby calves over here.

Our most recent one was just born two days ago.  Can you see him?

Mama has him tucked away in some hay.

Yesterday, I noticed that the newest little guy was in one specific area most of the day and it appeared as if Mama was trying to get him to come with her.  After a few hours, I went out to see if I could help.

Can you see him in there?  He is the little black lump and mama is up top.  Our ground is very soft and muddy right now and I was wondering if he was having trouble making it up the incline to mama.  I didn’t want Mama to beat me up, because we all know she would win, so I decided to walk around and try to intervene on the other side of the fence.  Because I am a total scaredy-cat.

I went and nudged him in the hiney and he got up. Mama became concerned.  Mooing ensued.  And she was able to start to get him to walk up the hill.  He was definitely weak, but she got him up there and didn’t even need to kill me over it or anything.

I love to listen to them moo to each other.

David went missing the other night, leaving the kids and I perplexed as to what he could be doing.  When he returned I was too asleep to get the story, but was awake enough to know that his side of the bed was hot like lava all night long.

Me:  David!  Why do you need so much heat?

David:  Because I am freezing!  I was out in the rain and mud for hours and had my arms up inside a cow’s insides!

Me:  What on earth were you doing last night?

Reader.  Here is what he was doing.

He stopped at our “neighbor’s” house to borrow a piece of equipment.

We call anyone who lives within 20 minutes of us our “neighbor.”

While he was there, he noticed a bunch of the neighborly people running around the cow pen trying to get a cow into a squeeze chute.  The cow had legs sticking out of her hiney.  We have been getting tons of rain lately so everything is extra muddy.  David was not wearing any sort of mud boots or gear for helping birth a baby, but he jumped right into the action.  As good neighbors do.

They got the cow into the chute and then tied some twine around the calf’s legs and were able to pull the calf out-alive!  But mama cow was not doing so well and ended up with a prolapsed uterus.  They called a vet and followed instructions and worked on trying to put that poor cow’s insides back inside of her for quite awhile.  They were not successful.

So.  She was put down.  Right then and there.  The neighbor guy just shot her.

Why is everything so sad?  Why am I living this life?  I am not emotionally stable enough to deal with such things.

The baby was a girl and was walking around and drinking from a bottle when David left.  David said no one told him that they needed me to take over and be the calf’s mama, but I will remain open to the idea.

David brought home these horrendous looking bones for the dogs.  He assured me they were not from the cow that was put down the night before, because that would be silly.

They are a lovely addition to our interior decor.  And we are still trying to see if the shoes David was wearing that night can be saved.

***

The other day, I shamelessly asked David if I could steal some of the delish grape gum he has stashed in his work van.  He looked surprised, because all I ever like is peppermint, and told me he was all out.

Then he used my car to run an errand.

When I got into my car the next day, I had a full tank of gas AND my own package of grape gum.

So.  That is just love right there.

***

We are still building an apartment!  I keep thinking we are almost done and then David says I have to caulk and paint and I want everyone to know that I will not be winning any awards for my caulking and painting skills.  And I am over it.  Along with the caulking and painting, the old porch was ripped out.

And then new posts were set in concrete to get ready for the new one.

We will work on the apartment again today.

Ask me what MY job will be.

Go ahead.  Ask.

***

Awhile ago, I meantioned that we have sponsored a Compassion girl from Uganda for over ten years.  She had written me a concerning letter that sounded like she had been raped.  She is 19 and now has an almost one year old baby boy.  We were able to send her a financial gift in addition to her compassion fees.  I just got a letter from her and the sweet girl gave me an accounting for every penny she spent and was very thankful.  She bought all practical things, like food and clothes and milk for her baby.  She then went on to say she had some money left over and was able to start a business.  It sounds like she was able to buy a stand and some produce and she sells the produce.  Here is a picture she sent me, showing herself holding her little baby and talking to a customer.

She hasn’t ever sent a picture before!  She is so sweet in her letters and I am glad we have been connected with her.

***

Guess what David was finally prompted to buy me?

Happy Sunday.

Thursday Night.

David:  Taylor.  I need you to take the truck and gooseneck to school tomorrow please.

Me:  The TRUCK?  And BIG TEX?

David:  Yeah.  I will come and grab it from you and switch you cars.  I need to go and pick up the skidsteer.

Me (trying to be brave):  But, David!  Where will I park it?

David:  In the street.

Reader.  I work at an elementary school that is surrounded by a residential neighborhood.

Me:  David, this is all very stressful for me.  I cannot back it up if I get into trouble.  It is the 100th day of school, so I will be dressed as an old lady with a bunch of baby powder in my hair, and I promised my kids a soup party, so I have to bring in a crockpot and soup supplies!

David:  You’re the best.

You guys.  This is what the truck and Big Tex look like.

Me:  DAVID!  THERE ARE PALLETS ON THERE!

David: Yup.

Me: THEY BETTER NOT FLY OFF!

And if this doesn’t prompt David to finally buy me that #1 Wife t-shirt, well I don’t know what will.

So.  I dressed up as an old lady.  I asked Hadley to powder my hair.

Me:  Hadley, I need you to dump a bunch of baby powder in my hair.

Hadley:  Why?

Me:  So I can look like I am 100 years old.

Hadley:  Why?

Me:  Because it is the 100th day of school.

So.  She dumped a bunch of baby powder in my hair.  And I got a crate with all my supplies for soup, loaded it into the truck, and toodled on down the road to school.

I successfully parked the truck and Big Tex, but I had to park it a bit away from the school.  And I truly wonder what any residents who may have looked out their windows thought when they saw me, a woman with gray hair looking like she should NOT be driving such a rig, parking this beast in front of their houses, hopping out of the truck, grabbing a crate of soup supplies, and just walking down the road away from the rig.

Like a normal person.

The 100th day went well.

Student:  Mrs. M!  When I first saw you I thought you were a GUEST TEACHER!  You look different!
Me:  Oh, yeah?

Student:  But I figured out if was you because you are still so funny!

*cute*

We finished The Tale of Despereaux and had a soup party.  We all loved the story and a group of kids play “Tale of Despereaux” at recess now.  So that is cute.

When I was done for the day, I hauled my soup supplies back out and instead had to hop in the work van, which is much smaller and more manageable than the truck and Big Tex.

My Principal:  Taylor!  Is that your husband’s work van?

Me:  Yes, we had to switch for today.

Principal:  Goodness!  That thing is huge!

Me:  Yup.

Oh, if she only knew what I had to drive to town.

***

This weekend, David and the boys were all about digging a trench for a new water line.  The new line would serve two purposes:

Add more water supply to cows and connect Auntie’s apartment to water.

HD on the mini excavator we gratefully borrowed from a friend:

LD worked on removing fencing while David used the newly repaired skidsteer to push snow out of the way.

They worked hard all day and made tons of progress.

LD in the trench-

LD pushing the dirt back to fill in the trench.

Saturday was a beautiful day.  As you can see from the pictures.

My job was to clean our disgusting house, with help of Hadley, check on cows, and work on senior stuff for Hadley.

So.  Cows.

Matilda and her baby boy.

And that cute little baby posing for a single shot.

We have this heifer.  Let’s call her 152.  We think she is in labor, but she is totally tricking us.  I have gone out to check on her no less than 87 times this weekend and I have about 42 inappropriate videos of her private areas on my phone.

Anyways.  On to Sunday.  Also known as today.

Today was cold and snow covered and chilly.  We did online church and then got right back to work.  Hadley’s chore from David was to drive all the way to town to get some conduit.

She wasn’t super excited, as you can imagine most teens would not be, but I encouraged her by saying:

“Come on!  You CON-DO-IT!”

And I laughed and laughed.

Sadly, only my firsties and myself find me to be funny.

Anyways.  The boys got back to work on trench-y things and here is a picture of where the water will connect to the apartment.  In case you cared.

And I am sure you do.

The day turned sour when HD accidentally broke our main water line with the excavator.  So David had to go traverse to many stores across the areas to try to find things to fix it and I was taking videos of a heifer’s backside.  I am worried that something is wrong.  It seems like she has been laboring too long.  She will act like she is pushing and struggling and then she will go and eat for 2 hours and seem fine.  It is all very confusing.

David sent some of my high quality videos to FF and he said he thinks she is ok but we should call him tomorrow evening if she has not calved.

David fixed the line and the dudes all got back to work.

I am tired.  It has been A DAY.  I am worried about heifer 152.  But I am thankful to have water again.

Here is Matilda’s heifer calf who was born a year ago.

Happy Sunday.

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed that Opal, our charolaise heifer, had a new-to-her largish udder.

Me:  We need to watch Opal.  I think she is going to calve soon.

David:  Nah.  She probably already had the calf, was a terrible mother, and left it to die.

Me:  !

So, I check the cows morning and evening, and Opal has no change.  I report my findings to David and he is still pessimistic and sure Opal was an unfit mother.

Last Tuesday night, her udder had completely ballooned, so I was sure hopeful she was close and there was an actual baby in there.  I looked Wednesday before school and could not find her anywhere.  I came home Wednesday afternoon and looked and looked and spotted her just before dark-

With a tiny black calf.

So.  I win.

David is still unsure if Opal will be a good mother because he’s more of a “glass is half empty” kind of guy.  So the next morning at daybreak, I trudged on out there to show him proof of life.

And if that doesn’t prompt David to buy me that #1 Wife T Shirt, I don’t know what will.

And why, may I ask, is this calf black?  Total rip off.

I was hoping it would look like my old friend, Dutch Bro.  Dutch Bro had a Charloaise dad and a black dairy cow mama and he turned out a creamy brown.

Remember Dutch Bro?

Anyways.  Opal and calf are fine and dandy.  We have five new, untagged calves at this time and they make my world go round.

Opal and baby.

Here are three little guys hanging out in their mamas’ food.

And this dude with his mama.

We are just finishing up a four day weekend.  The weekend started off with no plans, and then quickly turned into a weekend full of many plans.

On Thursday night, I went and saw three of my firsties play in a basketball game, and it was the cutest thing ever.  These boys took the game very seriously, but when they took a break on the bench they would smile and wave at me with all the joy.  Then I went to watch LD star on his new junior high basketball team. He appreciates me watching his game, but he does not smile and wave at me.

Sad.

He has had two games so far and scored 17 and 11 points in each.  I think he likes playing on his own team apart from HD.

On Friday, I cleaned.

On Saturday, Hadley and I went to watch another student basketball game and then hopped on the road to join my parents who were spending the night at a cabin on a river, but not the same river we are always at.

Please, try to keep up.

My parents were getting their house painted and their friend offered their cabin so they could get away while the painting was to be done.  So Hadley and I zipped over to join them for a night.

Gorgeous, no?

And then we had to meet up with David and HD to spend ALL of our monies and more on items needed for the apartment.  David and the boys have been rocking it in the apartment.  They have the electrical trim work done, kitchen cabinets installed and counterops glued in.

HD did all the can lights after David showed him the ropes.

Cabinets and countertops (not finished, but as they are now)

And the bathroom vanity.  Hadley installed the knobs and such.

We also found a used appliance set-so that was a huge blessing.

***

Me yesterday:  Looks like we are headed into spring weather!  Hooray.

Today:

***

I was working with a small group of our most struggling readers in first grade.

And if I had a nickel for every time I had to remind a child to actually READ the word and not GUESS the word, well, I would have probably been able to afford brand new appliances for the apartment.

The sentence was “Come and look . . . ”

Student:  Come and see

Me:  Try again

Student:  Come and play

Me:  Please look at the word

Student:  Come and see

Me:  What is the first sound of this word?

Student actually looks at the word thoughtfully for more than 5 seconds.

Student:  Oh!  Come and look

*sigh*

Over and over and over and over.

They have the skills, but they need to apply them.

Me the entire group:  No guessie-guessie!  These words aren’t going to read themselves!

Students:  *giggle* chuckle* giggle*

And . . . I love them.

Right after this intense reading group I had a student tattle happen.

Student (in high alert stress mode):  Mrs. M!  Mrs. M!  Johnny said A BAD WORD!  THE “S” WORD!

Me:  Ok, what was the word.

Stand down, Reader.  I know it is probably dicey to ask kids to repeat the word, but they think lots of different words are bad words.  And there is a bit of a difference between a kid saying something is stupid and saying something is the other s word.

If you know what I mean

And I think you do.

Student:  It was a bad word!  The S-R word!

Me:  The S-R word?  You are going to need to whisper the word to me.

Student (eyes all scandalous like):  CRAP!

Me:  Dude.  Stop.  What is the FIRST sound you hear in “crap?”  Is it an “s”?  No.

So I worked in a phonics lesson and spoke to Johnny about school appropriate words.

Happy Monday!

In class, we finished up the Mercy Watson series by Kate DiCamillo.

I have a new student.  He was not happy about switching schools and being with us.  He kept trying to go home sick and told his mom he missed his old school.  Which is understandable.

Last week, we were almost done with our last Mercy Watson book.  New kiddo got called to the office to go home for the day because his brother was sick and mom was there to pick brother up.  New kiddo happily popped back in a few minutes later.

Me:  I thought you were going home?

New Kiddo:  My mom said I could stay!

Me:  You wanted to stay?

New Kiddo:  I asked her if I could stay and ride the bus home.

Me (picking up Mercy Watson):  Well, I am glad you get to spend more time with us today.

New Kiddo:  YES!!!!!!!!!!!! I was hoping I wouldn’t miss the end of the book!

So.  Three cheers for good books and reading together as a class.  It is simply the best.

Since we had finished our series, we had our “Toast Party.”  Because Mercy Watson LOVES toast-with a great deal of butter on it.

We started a new book by Kate DiCamillo-The Tale of Despereaux.

Now, THIS is a good book.  I recommend everyone reads it.  I started reading a few chapters and then stopped at the end of a chapter.

Kiddo:  Awww, MAN!  You ALWAYS stop at the good part.

Be still my heart.

Mack came to school in teeny tiny pants.  Like the world’s tightest pair of jeans.  I am not sure how he even got them on, but the button kept popping open and he literally could not bend enough to sit down.  They were probably his jeans when he was 4 years old, no joke.

I chatted with the counselor at lunch and she went to grab him to see if she could find him some new pants.

Mack, ever the gentle spirit, was following her into the office, shouting and staring at his hands: “HANDS?!  What is wrong with my hands?  Why do I need new hands?”

Me:  Buddy.  She is trying to see if she has an extra pair of PANTS for you.

Mack:  Ohhhhh.

She finds him some snazzy sweatpants and you would think Mack just won the lottery.

Mack:  Can I keep them!?!

Counselor:  Sure can.

And for the rest of the day, Mack was bending and twisting happily with freedom.

I am going to let you in on a little secret.  At times, I worry about Mack.  And sometimes I am not quite sure if he is even really with me.  I mean, I am completely aware that his little body is with me, because it is always twirling right near me, but I am not so sure his mind is always with me.

I was reading “Tale of Despereaux” and Mack was testing out the new flexibility of his sweatpants.  All other kids are sitting still and look towards me as I read, and Mack is practicing for his gymnastics routine.

In this book, the narrator will talk to the reader.  And here is a direct quote I read to the class-

“Reader.  Do you believe there is such a thing as happily ever after?”

Mack shouts:  YES! I DO!

So.  He IS listening.  And I love him.

***

Kate is still far, far away.  And she probably misses us, but she really misses her dog, Niko.  So I try to send her cute little snaps throughout the week.

Like this one where Niko had slowly crawled up to join me on the couch as I was reading.

Look at that nose.  Love it.

***

The cows are good and the calves are all that is precious in this world.  Hazel would have turned one on the 12th, so that was bittersweet.

I was out checking on the cows and they were all standing around chewing their cud.  And then, without any communication that I could see, they all collectively decided it was time to go and get a drink.

And they did.

***

The apartment work continues.

We put in flooring.  And when I say “we”, I mean David and HD.

I did, however, sweep and open boxes.

Happy Tuesday.

When last we spoke, I told you that I had to buy HD a nice button down shirt for his final basketball game because, and I quote,

“COACH SAID WE NEED TO LOOK NICE.”

“GOSH.”

And, so.  I took him to the mall and I bought him the shirt.  I spent more than I would have wanted to do, but I figured it would be a nice investment and good for him to have a button down shirt nicely hanging in his closet.

He wore the shirt for 2 hours.

I washed the shirt and put it in his clean clothes basket, along with his other clean clothes.

He was in a rush and was scrambling through the basket and left the arm of the button down shirt dangling over the basket.

The basket just so happens to sit on top of dog kennels.

One of the puppy brothers was able to pull the sleeve through the kennel and destroy it.

The button down shirt.

A tragedy.

And a complete waste of money.

Let’s move on.

It appears that calving season hath begun around here, and I am not complaining.

Look at this handsome fellow and just TRY to help me he isn’t the cutest boy you ever did see.

Let’s talk about first graders, as I spend a good chunk of my week with them.

I often say the phrase, “Sure thing, Jelly Bean.”  For example:

1st grader:  Mrs. M?  Can I fill up my water bottle?

Me:  Sure thing, Jelly Bean.

One of my boys, who thinks I am hilarious, doesn’t fully understand why I say Jelly Bean.  I think that he thinks it is a term of endearment.  So, now, everyday when I say goodbye to him, he hugs me and shouts:

“BYE, JELLY BEAN!”

***

We are working on learning how to write an informational paper and we just wrapped up a book on wolves.  The last thing to do was to illustrate each page.

Hal:  Look, Mrs. M!  Look at my wolf!  He is FARTING!

Hal is dying of laughter and there is a wolf on his page with a cloud of farts coming out of his rear end.

Me:  Hmmm.  I am wondering if that is the best type of drawing for your informational writing?  Sounds more like if you were writing a fantasy book?

Hal:  Hmmm.  Ok.

And Hal goes back to work.

Later.

Hal:  Look, Mrs. M!  Wolves are farting on EVERY page.  It is just too funny.

***

One of my boys went to the bathroom and decided it would be hilarious to crawl on the floor and enter the stalls of unsuspecting second graders.  And then he had the audacity to pretend he didn’t understand why that would be a bad choice.

***

I was unexpectedly late to school on Tuesday.  I will get back to that soon.

Another teacher was covering my class.  I walked in and Mack shouted:

“YAY!  MISS D IS HERE!  WE CAN PLAY BALL!”

Because Mack calls me the name of his kindergarten teacher and Mack loves to play ball with me at recess.

The kids have three recesses, but I am only outside with them for the first and last one.  First recess is my first chance to go to the bathroom, so when the other first grade teachers are out, we all take turns.

I went to the bathroom.

When I came back outside, some of my students came over to inform me of what has happened since I went to the bathroom.

“Mrs. M.  Mack is very upset and crying because you aren’t playing ball with him.”

I scan the playground and see Mack, far far away, in the fetal position with the ball, wailing.

Me:  Well.  Tell him I just had to go to the bathroom and if he wants to play ball he can come over here and ask me.

All my girls go run over to tell Mack this message.

They return.

“Mack says he is too sad.”

Me:  Bummer.  Well, I am here and able to play if he wants to.

Lest any of you think I am cruel, I need to kind of be in this certain area to help watch the 75 first graders we are monitoring.  And I love to play ball with Mack, but I need to be able to also watch the kids.  Plus, he can ask me to play and not wail to others.

Recess is 15 min long and he starts finally coming towards me at minute 14.  He has tears everywhere and is hiccuping.

Me:  Hi, Mack!  Wanna play ball?

He nods and tosses the ball.  I catch it.  We play it for 30 seconds, but then the recess whistle blew.

Mack, wailing: “I HARDLY GOT TO PLAY BALL WITH MISS D”

We go back to the classroom and learning all the fabulous things first graders learn.  Mack has pulled it together and gotten over the trajedy of not spending as much time with me as he had hoped.  And can you blame him?  As far as I know, I am delightful.

Now, it is time for the kids to get ready for lunch and recess.

Mack, wailing:  OH, MAN.  THIS IS THE RECESS THAT MISS D ISN’t WITH US.  I CAN’T PLAY BALL WITH HER.

Me:  Well.  There’s always last recess, Bud.

For.  The.  Love.

Ok.  We need to move on and discuss why I was late.

On Tuesday, I started my car and then my car locked me out.

AGAIN.

Hadley and her car were already gone.  The subaru is at the mechanic.  The truck was at a different mechanic.  David was working out of town 8 hours away.

I call David.  He is less than impressed, but he agrees to help me break into my car.

I tried for one hour.

Reader.  It is really difficult to break into a car.  I was able to pry the door open, but finding something to stick down there to hit the unlock button proved a challenge.

I tried calling a tow truck company, but no one was answering.  So I asked my neighbor if he was around, and he was.  Sadly, he didn’t have much experience breaking into cars, but one of the guys who works for him did.

So.  Random dude named Mark came over and broke into my car for me in about 90 seconds.

Three cheers for Mark!

Reader.  I am NOT this dumb.  Something is wrong with my car.  I now wear the key fob around my neck and shall not ever leave it in the car when I start it.

Happy Friday.

Well.  I never did find a dead quail in the house.  I am feeling fairly confident our house is quail-carcass free.

On Friday, I had to take David’s gigantic truck to school.  I felt like it was running a bit funny, but, what do I know?  The school week completely kicked my butt and I did not feel like I had it in me to drive out to the kids’ basketball games, so I peaced out and went home.  When I got home, I texted David to tell him the truck was running funny.

His reply?

“Yeah.  I am surprised you didn’t break down.”

So my kids starred in basketball games far, far away, won per usual, and I went to sleep by 730pm.

Saturday.

Reader.  Many moons ago, David and I purchased an old Subaru for the girls to use.  And then the engine blew.  And it has sat on our property, surrounded by no less than 6, 721 hay bales, waiting for someone to deal with it.

And because every single vehicle we own has needed a mechanic in the past two weeks, David has decided the Subaru should not feel left out and now is the perfect time to get that baby a new engine.

?

David must think teacher’s make tons of money.

To set the scene, here are a few things you need to know.

1.  Hadley was at work.  With her car.
2. My car was at a mechanic, but ready to get picked up.
3. David’s truck is about to break down and needs to get to a mechanic.
4. The Subaru needs to get to a different mechanic.
5. HD wants a new button down shirt because COACH SAID TO DRESS UP.  GEEZ.
6. Kids were playing in Varsity final championship games.
7. It was Hadley’s last game ever as she is a senior.
8. We are still supposed to be building an apartment.
9. Oh.  And we have cows.

On Saturday morning, I tried to get a weekend’s worth of chores done in two hours so we could leave for car drama and basketball.  It was time to leave and I had the honor of choosing between driving the truck and towing the Subaru, or sitting in the Subaru while it was being towed by the truck.

Reader.  A bit of advice.  If you are ever in this situation, choose to be the Tow-ER and not the Tow-EE.

So David got all the rigs all ready to go.

See the hay bales?  Did you think I was fibbing?

I succesesfully towed David and the Subaru to the mechanic without causing any minor road infractions.

And if this doesn’t prompt David to finally buy me that Number One Wife T-Shirt, I don’t know what will.

We got the truck to a different mechanic and Hadley met us there so we could use her car to go and get my car, which was at a different mechanic.

Are you following any of this?

And the truck’s mechanic is right by a mall, so HD and I ran in speedy fast to buy him the button down shirt that he would wear for 2 hours because COACH SAID TO DRESS UP.

GEEZ.

Then we took Hadley’s car to the other mechanic to pick up my car and we went to The Big Basketball Tournament.

Oh!  Ask me how crocheting is going!

We got to The Big Basketball Tournament.  Hadley’s team won the coveted Gold Ball for the most wins of their league.  HD’s team didn’t win anything, but he did look snazzy in his button down shirt while sitting in the crowd.

COACH SAID TO DRESS UP.  GEEZ.

It was sad to know that it was Hadley’s last game.  Senior stuff can get hard, you know?  Her team was falling behind and at half time, we weren’t sure they were going to pull it off, but they did it!  It was one of the most exciting games I have ever watched and Hadley played like a beast and had one of her best games ever!  It was a fun night and a great way to end her career.  She even made the paper the next day.

When we were at the games, all the grandparents were there.

My Dad:  Taylor.  I was driving my car and a check engine light came on!  And then I went to start my truck and the battery was dead!  I felt like you guys!

Me:  That’s cute, Dad.

I wonder if my dad has ever towed a vehicle, such as I?

Boys Varsity played next.  It was an extremely close game the entire time.  HD is a swing player and only plays if they have a decent lead, so he did not see any playing time, but it was very exciting to cheer their team on and watch them also win the championship.

After the games, Hadley was exhausted and drove home.  HD wanted to go out to celebrate with his team, which was understandable, and the only reason I am saying this is because I want you to know that we didn’t get home until 11:30 AT NIGHT.

Sunday.

On Sunday, Hadley and I started to paint the apartment.  David was in charge of repairing something ELSE on my car, and HD was in charge of feeding all the cows.  LD was with a friend in town.

HD interrupts our paint sesh to tell us there were two new calves.  So we all stop our projects and head out to see.

My best gal, Matilda, went and had herself a baby bow that has a matching face like hers.

And then this unknown gal had a baby as well.

Fun times.

We went back to painting and did online church and lunch.  While we were eating, I noticed two new-ish calves (not the newborns) had decided to be brave and venture down to a hay bale near the house.

I called out, “Hello!” to them.  As people do.  And I scared the living daylights out of them and they booked it on out of there.

The kids ditched us for social activities and David and I worked on the apartment.  I can be trusted to paint, so that is ALL I did and I was so over it by the end of the day, but we got it done and we are ready for flooring.

David started spreading a mud like/concrete like substance around and I literally have no idea why.

I do not understand anything about any of this.  He probably thinks I am a goose.  But I know what a dipthong is, so he is probably in awe of me, too.

We came inside and I was able to actually make something for dinner.  David went to bed and the dogs and I *stayed up* to wait for the kids to come home.

Happy Monday.

We are having lots of stress over here, Reader.  Everything is broken and everything is costing money.  All the farm machines are down.  David’s truck has to go to the mechanic every 5 weeks because it is so high maintenance.  Everything is getting a flat tire.  My car needs to go to the mechanic for reasons I do not understand nor care to learn about.

You know what is never good?  When David says this sentence:

“I need to talk to you about a couple of things tonight.”

Those are the conversations where I find out that broken down skidsteers need engines that cost TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS.

But, I digress.

Let’s talk about yesterday.

We got a new layer of fresh snow the night before.  We are at the point of winter where we are in denial and no longer care.  In Novemeber, everyone is all, “how are the roads” “did it snow”  “is it slick”  “I should leave early.”

We are over it now and nonchalant.  And it is probably not a good thing.  Now it is more like,

“Everyone get in the car!  Oh, shoot!  We got more snow!  Somebody go clear off the car!”

Yesterday was one such day.

The three Maliblahblah children left before me.  As I was finishing up getting ready, LD sends me these exact three texts in rapid succession.

“We going to be late.”

“The heater is working.”

“We can’t see out the windshield.”

?

So, I call him and he has the phone on speaker and Hadley is shout/panicking.

Me:  Where are you?

Hadley: DRIVING DOWN THE BIG HILL.  NOTHING IS WORKING.  LIKE HEAT AND DEFROST.

Me:  Ok.  Are you pulled over or still able to drive?

Hadley:  I CAN DRIVE.

Me:  Ok, just take it slow and I will call your school and explain you will be late.

And I do just that.

Meanwhile, it is time for me, myself, to go and get my rig ready for the drive to town.  And, Reader.  Would you like to know what I did?

I started my car.  And then I locked myself out of my car.

Rookie mistake.

The only other vehicle option is David’s gigantic truck, but the stock trailer is hitched to it.  And guess who doesn’t know how to remove a fifth wheel trailer hitch thing?

I call David.  David is always emotionally stable, unlike myself, and it is a comfort when things are dicey.

Me:  Yeah.  My car is running and I am locked out.  I need to take the truck, but the stock trailer is hitched to it.

David (unphased):  Alright.  I will need to talk you through unhitching it.  You are going to need mud boots and gloves.

See?  Cool as a cucumber.  Weird-O.

He tells me to go start the truck to warm it up.  This was our first mistake.  I cannot hear well, and I especially cannot hear when a diesel engine is roaring in the background.

Reader, I tried.  I really did.  I completed a few steps with proficiency, but everytime I had to do something, I put the phone down so I could use both hands.  My phone began to get displeased at this because I kept putting it in fresh snow.  In order to accomplish the necessary tasks of unhitching, I had to climb up into the flat bed and got my pants all soaked.

And I am sure David was making complete sense to peoples that know about these things, but to me, he was sounding like an insane, crazy person.

David:  Do you see a metal handle?

Me:  Yes!

David:  The handle has a pin and you need to remove the pin and pull up and put a pin in the hole and remove a pin and put a pin over there and then secure a pin.

Me:  OK!  I HAVE TO PUT THE PHONE DOWN.

I try to do lots of activities involving pins.  I only see one pin.  And then I see the handle, but I am not strong enough to make the handle budge.

Me:  David!  I am unable to move the handle!

David:  Ok.  You are going to need a sledgehammer.

So, I try sledgehammering and I am covered in mud and snow. Even with a sledgehammer, I am still weak and useless and made no progress on handles and pins and pins and handles and pins.  My phone shuts down due to potential water damage and it is now the point in the morning where I have to accept defeat and get my wet hiney inside to write emergency sub plans. And, also, I cried out of frustration.

David was able to come home about 3 hours later.  Surprisingly, my car was still running and had not run out of gas.  David knows how to break into vehicles, which is always a fine quality to have in a spouse, and he got my car open in about 2 minutes.  And then I toodled off to school with dry pants and a crying headache.

My students were a bit out of sorts from the surprise emergency sub, and I was trying to complete a required, yet difficult, universal assessment.

And Poor Mack did not handle things well.

Mack loves everything about school and is always 100% in.  This assessment was too much for him and I think he got a bit frustrated, which was totally understandable.  He started to come up to me and tell me his head hurt.  Mack never says he isn’t feeling well.  In fact, one day, I could tell he was out of sorts and I felt his head.  He had a fever and was upset and did not want to leave.  So, for Mack to tell me his head hurt was pretty out of character.

I checked his temp and he wasn’t sick. He wouldn’t stop complaining about his head, so out of desperation, I put my coat down on the floor and said he should try to lay down and rest his eyes for a minute.

And he fell asleep.  Right there on the floor.  Precious pumpkin.  I think the assessment was too much for him and he got overwhelmed.

About 20 minutes later, he sits up and loudly announces to everyone:

“Yay!  My head is better!”

And then he and I played ball at recess.  I love him.

After school, I had to get the boys and get them to-you guessed it-a basketball game.  I call David to touch base and he says this sentence:

“Yeah.  We had a huge debacle with Hadley’s car.”

Ok.  Two things.

1.  Let us be impressed with David’s use of the word debacle.
2. How does David stay so calm with ALL THE BROKEN THINGS?  And still work as an electrician?

I don’t know.  I just cannot even keep up.  Somehow he was able to help her arrange getting her heater/defrost working and get to her basketball game on time.  And then he had to help me get my car to the mechanic and I am excited to find out how much that will cost.

We got home late-maybe 10pm.  The dogs were bouncing off the walls because they missed us and David still needed to feed some cows.   He opened up a grain sack and a bunch of quail flew out and the dogs went all nuts and murdered two of them and then dropped them on the front porch as a gift.

When David came inside, he brought the dead quail and put them in our kitchen trash can.

?

Charlie, the dog, discovered this and pulled the quail out.  So there was a dead quail on the living room floor.  At 10 pm.

Me:  Why did you bring the dead quails inside?

David:  Where else am I supposed to put them?

And, reader.  I didn’t have an answer for him, but there are lots of disgusting things that happen over here and he doesn’t bring everything in the house and I don’t know anymore, but I do know that yesterday was like the longest day ever.

I should have probably taken a nap at the same time as Mack did.

So.  Right before I started to write this blog post this morning, David called me.

David:  Yeah.  Charlie wasn’t put in her kennel last night and when I woke up, she had gotten into the garbage again.  And I didn’t see it anywhere, but there’s a good chance there’s a dead quail somewhere in the house.”

Here’s to hoping today goes a bit more smoothly.

A couple of weeks ago, I had to arrange for a sub for a half day so I could do ALL the grown up errands with HD:  Order new glasses frames, because-

We also had to go to the DMV to get his permit for Driver’s Ed.

!

I know.

AND-we went to the bank and got his first debit card and then got his braces off.

So.  That was quite the day.  And soon after that day, I got sick.  And I would like to announce that I, yes, I, Taylor  Maliblahblah got THE RONA for the first time since this pandemic hath begun.

Me the first 36 hours:  I am going to die.

Me the next week:  I suppose it shan’t kill me.  But it IS kicking my butt.

The worst part?

Sub plans.

But I made them and the peoples at my school helped me and printed them for me and someone lovingly took my class and it is all over now.

I have this one little student-and he really doesn’t like it if I am gone.  And can you blame him?  I am an utter delight.

After I came back, he tugged on my shirt.

“Mrs. M.  I am SEEEWEEOUS (serious).  I MISS you when you aren’t here.”

And that’s why I have the bestest job in the whole wide world.  And I would have way rather been with them then home sick with Rona.

Basketball is winding down for the high school seasons.

Both boys play on JV and they just won their league championship game.

HD (freshman) got a lot of playing time and his team really plays well together.  He is #11.

He is excited for next year and hopeful for more Varsity time.  We shall see.

LD (8th grade) got some good playing time in and is really excited for his junior high season, which is starting soon.  He is #21 and in this video, he gets a rebound a makes a shot.

Varsity boys are wrapping up as well.  HD is a swing player and gets to join Varsity and play a bit.  They had an important game coming up.

HD:  Coach wants us to look nice.  Like button down shirts.

Me:  Well, how is that going to work with your school uniforms?

HD (annoyed, as always):  Mom.  We will have to CHANGE after school into our nice clothes.

Me:  So, you are going to school in your uniform, changing into dress clothes, walking into the gym, and then changing into your jersey?

HD:  Yes.

Hadley’s girls varsity team is also winding down.  She will have her senior night soon and then their team will play for the championship.  They had a VERY intense game and her coach was VERY concerned about getting the win.

VERY.

Hadley (#23) made an error right away and the coach called a time out 30 seconds into the game just to yell at her.  So that was special.  But then she made a three pointer.

They lost by ONE POINT.  It was a very stressful game and I feared the coach might have a heart attack right there on the court.  He was all intense and yelling and then would yell at Hadley-

“Hadley!  Smile! This is your senior year!  This is supposed to be fun!”

My favorite yell of the night was when he yelled to one of the hardest working players I have ever seen-

“SYMONE!  Play BASKETBALL!”

Oh, LD and I got quite the chuckle out of that one and will randomly say that to each other now from time to time.  Oh, for the stress of it all.

The apartment is coming along.  David is all that is man and getting it done, sometimes with the help of others, sometimes without.

We are now ready to prime and paint.  Then flooring and cabinets.  Or so it has been explained to me.

Later, Dudes.