The Lumberjack's Wife

Well.  I never did find a dead quail in the house.  I am feeling fairly confident our house is quail-carcass free.

On Friday, I had to take David’s gigantic truck to school.  I felt like it was running a bit funny, but, what do I know?  The school week completely kicked my butt and I did not feel like I had it in me to drive out to the kids’ basketball games, so I peaced out and went home.  When I got home, I texted David to tell him the truck was running funny.

His reply?

“Yeah.  I am surprised you didn’t break down.”

So my kids starred in basketball games far, far away, won per usual, and I went to sleep by 730pm.

Saturday.

Reader.  Many moons ago, David and I purchased an old Subaru for the girls to use.  And then the engine blew.  And it has sat on our property, surrounded by no less than 6, 721 hay bales, waiting for someone to deal with it.

And because every single vehicle we own has needed a mechanic in the past two weeks, David has decided the Subaru should not feel left out and now is the perfect time to get that baby a new engine.

?

David must think teacher’s make tons of money.

To set the scene, here are a few things you need to know.

1.  Hadley was at work.  With her car.
2. My car was at a mechanic, but ready to get picked up.
3. David’s truck is about to break down and needs to get to a mechanic.
4. The Subaru needs to get to a different mechanic.
5. HD wants a new button down shirt because COACH SAID TO DRESS UP.  GEEZ.
6. Kids were playing in Varsity final championship games.
7. It was Hadley’s last game ever as she is a senior.
8. We are still supposed to be building an apartment.
9. Oh.  And we have cows.

On Saturday morning, I tried to get a weekend’s worth of chores done in two hours so we could leave for car drama and basketball.  It was time to leave and I had the honor of choosing between driving the truck and towing the Subaru, or sitting in the Subaru while it was being towed by the truck.

Reader.  A bit of advice.  If you are ever in this situation, choose to be the Tow-ER and not the Tow-EE.

So David got all the rigs all ready to go.

See the hay bales?  Did you think I was fibbing?

I succesesfully towed David and the Subaru to the mechanic without causing any minor road infractions.

And if this doesn’t prompt David to finally buy me that Number One Wife T-Shirt, I don’t know what will.

We got the truck to a different mechanic and Hadley met us there so we could use her car to go and get my car, which was at a different mechanic.

Are you following any of this?

And the truck’s mechanic is right by a mall, so HD and I ran in speedy fast to buy him the button down shirt that he would wear for 2 hours because COACH SAID TO DRESS UP.

GEEZ.

Then we took Hadley’s car to the other mechanic to pick up my car and we went to The Big Basketball Tournament.

Oh!  Ask me how crocheting is going!

We got to The Big Basketball Tournament.  Hadley’s team won the coveted Gold Ball for the most wins of their league.  HD’s team didn’t win anything, but he did look snazzy in his button down shirt while sitting in the crowd.

COACH SAID TO DRESS UP.  GEEZ.

It was sad to know that it was Hadley’s last game.  Senior stuff can get hard, you know?  Her team was falling behind and at half time, we weren’t sure they were going to pull it off, but they did it!  It was one of the most exciting games I have ever watched and Hadley played like a beast and had one of her best games ever!  It was a fun night and a great way to end her career.  She even made the paper the next day.

When we were at the games, all the grandparents were there.

My Dad:  Taylor.  I was driving my car and a check engine light came on!  And then I went to start my truck and the battery was dead!  I felt like you guys!

Me:  That’s cute, Dad.

I wonder if my dad has ever towed a vehicle, such as I?

Boys Varsity played next.  It was an extremely close game the entire time.  HD is a swing player and only plays if they have a decent lead, so he did not see any playing time, but it was very exciting to cheer their team on and watch them also win the championship.

After the games, Hadley was exhausted and drove home.  HD wanted to go out to celebrate with his team, which was understandable, and the only reason I am saying this is because I want you to know that we didn’t get home until 11:30 AT NIGHT.

Sunday.

On Sunday, Hadley and I started to paint the apartment.  David was in charge of repairing something ELSE on my car, and HD was in charge of feeding all the cows.  LD was with a friend in town.

HD interrupts our paint sesh to tell us there were two new calves.  So we all stop our projects and head out to see.

My best gal, Matilda, went and had herself a baby bow that has a matching face like hers.

And then this unknown gal had a baby as well.

Fun times.

We went back to painting and did online church and lunch.  While we were eating, I noticed two new-ish calves (not the newborns) had decided to be brave and venture down to a hay bale near the house.

I called out, “Hello!” to them.  As people do.  And I scared the living daylights out of them and they booked it on out of there.

The kids ditched us for social activities and David and I worked on the apartment.  I can be trusted to paint, so that is ALL I did and I was so over it by the end of the day, but we got it done and we are ready for flooring.

David started spreading a mud like/concrete like substance around and I literally have no idea why.

I do not understand anything about any of this.  He probably thinks I am a goose.  But I know what a dipthong is, so he is probably in awe of me, too.

We came inside and I was able to actually make something for dinner.  David went to bed and the dogs and I *stayed up* to wait for the kids to come home.

Happy Monday.

We are having lots of stress over here, Reader.  Everything is broken and everything is costing money.  All the farm machines are down.  David’s truck has to go to the mechanic every 5 weeks because it is so high maintenance.  Everything is getting a flat tire.  My car needs to go to the mechanic for reasons I do not understand nor care to learn about.

You know what is never good?  When David says this sentence:

“I need to talk to you about a couple of things tonight.”

Those are the conversations where I find out that broken down skidsteers need engines that cost TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS.

But, I digress.

Let’s talk about yesterday.

We got a new layer of fresh snow the night before.  We are at the point of winter where we are in denial and no longer care.  In Novemeber, everyone is all, “how are the roads” “did it snow”  “is it slick”  “I should leave early.”

We are over it now and nonchalant.  And it is probably not a good thing.  Now it is more like,

“Everyone get in the car!  Oh, shoot!  We got more snow!  Somebody go clear off the car!”

Yesterday was one such day.

The three Maliblahblah children left before me.  As I was finishing up getting ready, LD sends me these exact three texts in rapid succession.

“We going to be late.”

“The heater is working.”

“We can’t see out the windshield.”

?

So, I call him and he has the phone on speaker and Hadley is shout/panicking.

Me:  Where are you?

Hadley: DRIVING DOWN THE BIG HILL.  NOTHING IS WORKING.  LIKE HEAT AND DEFROST.

Me:  Ok.  Are you pulled over or still able to drive?

Hadley:  I CAN DRIVE.

Me:  Ok, just take it slow and I will call your school and explain you will be late.

And I do just that.

Meanwhile, it is time for me, myself, to go and get my rig ready for the drive to town.  And, Reader.  Would you like to know what I did?

I started my car.  And then I locked myself out of my car.

Rookie mistake.

The only other vehicle option is David’s gigantic truck, but the stock trailer is hitched to it.  And guess who doesn’t know how to remove a fifth wheel trailer hitch thing?

I call David.  David is always emotionally stable, unlike myself, and it is a comfort when things are dicey.

Me:  Yeah.  My car is running and I am locked out.  I need to take the truck, but the stock trailer is hitched to it.

David (unphased):  Alright.  I will need to talk you through unhitching it.  You are going to need mud boots and gloves.

See?  Cool as a cucumber.  Weird-O.

He tells me to go start the truck to warm it up.  This was our first mistake.  I cannot hear well, and I especially cannot hear when a diesel engine is roaring in the background.

Reader, I tried.  I really did.  I completed a few steps with proficiency, but everytime I had to do something, I put the phone down so I could use both hands.  My phone began to get displeased at this because I kept putting it in fresh snow.  In order to accomplish the necessary tasks of unhitching, I had to climb up into the flat bed and got my pants all soaked.

And I am sure David was making complete sense to peoples that know about these things, but to me, he was sounding like an insane, crazy person.

David:  Do you see a metal handle?

Me:  Yes!

David:  The handle has a pin and you need to remove the pin and pull up and put a pin in the hole and remove a pin and put a pin over there and then secure a pin.

Me:  OK!  I HAVE TO PUT THE PHONE DOWN.

I try to do lots of activities involving pins.  I only see one pin.  And then I see the handle, but I am not strong enough to make the handle budge.

Me:  David!  I am unable to move the handle!

David:  Ok.  You are going to need a sledgehammer.

So, I try sledgehammering and I am covered in mud and snow. Even with a sledgehammer, I am still weak and useless and made no progress on handles and pins and pins and handles and pins.  My phone shuts down due to potential water damage and it is now the point in the morning where I have to accept defeat and get my wet hiney inside to write emergency sub plans. And, also, I cried out of frustration.

David was able to come home about 3 hours later.  Surprisingly, my car was still running and had not run out of gas.  David knows how to break into vehicles, which is always a fine quality to have in a spouse, and he got my car open in about 2 minutes.  And then I toodled off to school with dry pants and a crying headache.

My students were a bit out of sorts from the surprise emergency sub, and I was trying to complete a required, yet difficult, universal assessment.

And Poor Mack did not handle things well.

Mack loves everything about school and is always 100% in.  This assessment was too much for him and I think he got a bit frustrated, which was totally understandable.  He started to come up to me and tell me his head hurt.  Mack never says he isn’t feeling well.  In fact, one day, I could tell he was out of sorts and I felt his head.  He had a fever and was upset and did not want to leave.  So, for Mack to tell me his head hurt was pretty out of character.

I checked his temp and he wasn’t sick. He wouldn’t stop complaining about his head, so out of desperation, I put my coat down on the floor and said he should try to lay down and rest his eyes for a minute.

And he fell asleep.  Right there on the floor.  Precious pumpkin.  I think the assessment was too much for him and he got overwhelmed.

About 20 minutes later, he sits up and loudly announces to everyone:

“Yay!  My head is better!”

And then he and I played ball at recess.  I love him.

After school, I had to get the boys and get them to-you guessed it-a basketball game.  I call David to touch base and he says this sentence:

“Yeah.  We had a huge debacle with Hadley’s car.”

Ok.  Two things.

1.  Let us be impressed with David’s use of the word debacle.
2. How does David stay so calm with ALL THE BROKEN THINGS?  And still work as an electrician?

I don’t know.  I just cannot even keep up.  Somehow he was able to help her arrange getting her heater/defrost working and get to her basketball game on time.  And then he had to help me get my car to the mechanic and I am excited to find out how much that will cost.

We got home late-maybe 10pm.  The dogs were bouncing off the walls because they missed us and David still needed to feed some cows.   He opened up a grain sack and a bunch of quail flew out and the dogs went all nuts and murdered two of them and then dropped them on the front porch as a gift.

When David came inside, he brought the dead quail and put them in our kitchen trash can.

?

Charlie, the dog, discovered this and pulled the quail out.  So there was a dead quail on the living room floor.  At 10 pm.

Me:  Why did you bring the dead quails inside?

David:  Where else am I supposed to put them?

And, reader.  I didn’t have an answer for him, but there are lots of disgusting things that happen over here and he doesn’t bring everything in the house and I don’t know anymore, but I do know that yesterday was like the longest day ever.

I should have probably taken a nap at the same time as Mack did.

So.  Right before I started to write this blog post this morning, David called me.

David:  Yeah.  Charlie wasn’t put in her kennel last night and when I woke up, she had gotten into the garbage again.  And I didn’t see it anywhere, but there’s a good chance there’s a dead quail somewhere in the house.”

Here’s to hoping today goes a bit more smoothly.

A couple of weeks ago, I had to arrange for a sub for a half day so I could do ALL the grown up errands with HD:  Order new glasses frames, because-

We also had to go to the DMV to get his permit for Driver’s Ed.

!

I know.

AND-we went to the bank and got his first debit card and then got his braces off.

So.  That was quite the day.  And soon after that day, I got sick.  And I would like to announce that I, yes, I, Taylor  Maliblahblah got THE RONA for the first time since this pandemic hath begun.

Me the first 36 hours:  I am going to die.

Me the next week:  I suppose it shan’t kill me.  But it IS kicking my butt.

The worst part?

Sub plans.

But I made them and the peoples at my school helped me and printed them for me and someone lovingly took my class and it is all over now.

I have this one little student-and he really doesn’t like it if I am gone.  And can you blame him?  I am an utter delight.

After I came back, he tugged on my shirt.

“Mrs. M.  I am SEEEWEEOUS (serious).  I MISS you when you aren’t here.”

And that’s why I have the bestest job in the whole wide world.  And I would have way rather been with them then home sick with Rona.

Basketball is winding down for the high school seasons.

Both boys play on JV and they just won their league championship game.

HD (freshman) got a lot of playing time and his team really plays well together.  He is #11.

He is excited for next year and hopeful for more Varsity time.  We shall see.

LD (8th grade) got some good playing time in and is really excited for his junior high season, which is starting soon.  He is #21 and in this video, he gets a rebound a makes a shot.

Varsity boys are wrapping up as well.  HD is a swing player and gets to join Varsity and play a bit.  They had an important game coming up.

HD:  Coach wants us to look nice.  Like button down shirts.

Me:  Well, how is that going to work with your school uniforms?

HD (annoyed, as always):  Mom.  We will have to CHANGE after school into our nice clothes.

Me:  So, you are going to school in your uniform, changing into dress clothes, walking into the gym, and then changing into your jersey?

HD:  Yes.

Hadley’s girls varsity team is also winding down.  She will have her senior night soon and then their team will play for the championship.  They had a VERY intense game and her coach was VERY concerned about getting the win.

VERY.

Hadley (#23) made an error right away and the coach called a time out 30 seconds into the game just to yell at her.  So that was special.  But then she made a three pointer.

They lost by ONE POINT.  It was a very stressful game and I feared the coach might have a heart attack right there on the court.  He was all intense and yelling and then would yell at Hadley-

“Hadley!  Smile! This is your senior year!  This is supposed to be fun!”

My favorite yell of the night was when he yelled to one of the hardest working players I have ever seen-

“SYMONE!  Play BASKETBALL!”

Oh, LD and I got quite the chuckle out of that one and will randomly say that to each other now from time to time.  Oh, for the stress of it all.

The apartment is coming along.  David is all that is man and getting it done, sometimes with the help of others, sometimes without.

We are now ready to prime and paint.  Then flooring and cabinets.  Or so it has been explained to me.

Later, Dudes.

So we are going to take a space that looks like this

And make into a living space for Auntie Datenut.

Yes.  We are going to move Auntie from southern Cali to an apartment located in our very own shop.  The goal is to have this finished and go grab her and move her up here over Spring Break.

We started on New Year’s Day and the temperature was a balmy 12 degrees.  And I learned something!

I learned empathy.  For David.

Poor David Maliblahblah works outside from dawn till dusk and he comes home and he wants the house to be like 87 degrees and I want it to be like 68 degrees and the poor guy is always freezing and I’m like, “I need the fan on.”

Well.  On Day One of our apartment work, I worked outside for an exteneded period of time.  I came inside and noticed my legs were frozen.  My torso was fine because I did a better job of layering, but my legs-frozen.  As they began to thaw, I felt cold unlike any other cold I have ever experienced.

Me:  David!  I get it!  Now, I see why you are so cold!

David:  Super.  Only took 21 years.

Rest assured, I will still need a fan, but he gets a heated blanket.

For his side of the bed.

Anyways.  Day one was relocate all junk that we don’t know what to do with to other places on our property and tear down some sheet rock.

On Day 2, we had to add width to the 2×4’s to make them 2×6’s and we took out old lighting and installed new lighting.

So. Stay tuned.

***

We need to talk about Mack and his gloves.  For they will be death of me.

Wednesday morning.

On Wednesday morning, I am about to start the day.  My para for reading interventions comes into touch base with me regarding Mack.  The two of us come up with a game plan on how to help him a bit better during interventions.

Me:  Sounds good, but he isn’t here today.

Para:  Oh.  He is.  He is upset and in the cafeteria because someone has stolen his glove.

Me:  You mean the glove right there that he left on his desk after school yesterday?

Here’s what I think is going on, Reader.

I think Mack’s mom is probably fit to be tied with this boy losing things.  So she gives him a pep talk about how he had better not come home with only one glove.

Mack cannot focus long enough in life to ever keep track of two gloves, bless his heart.  He will inevitably lose track of a glove and then he completely loses his mind and cries and everything in our classroom must come to a half because he cannot find his glove and his mom will be so mad.

So, he comes in, hiccuping from crying.  I show him the glove.  Glove freak out sesssions happened about five more times throughout the day, Reader.

Mack (wailing):  AHH!!  I CANNOT FIND MY GLOVE!

I look over in his direction and see the glove stuck inside his jacket sleeve.  Because he didn’t take the glove off before taking the jacket off.

Me:  Look at the jacket you are holding, bud.

This goes on and on and on.  He left for the bus and then he came running, and I mean RUNNING back and threw open his locker, started wailing, and shouted:

“I CANNOT FIND MY GLOVE!”

It was in his backpack.

Thursday Morning.

He comes in.  He has his gloves on and he starts to take off his winter gear to be ready for learning.  Gloves are falling on the floor and Mack is spinning circles.

Me:  Dude.  I cannot.  I canNOT.  You must keep track of those gloves today.

May the Lord bless me and keep me.

I noticed my kids were needing a “Come to Jesus” meeting about focusing and doing their best during learning times.  I was apparently very inspirational, because Mack came up to me every hour on the hour to hug me and say:

“Ms.  D!  I want to learn!”

Oh!  Fun fact!  He calls me the name of his kindergarten teacher.

Has done it all year.

Me:  Hi.  I am Mrs. M.  and yes!  I am so proud of you!  You are a good learner.

Mere seconds later, I am trying to teach and Mack is completely turned around facing the opposite direction, trying to take the strings from his winter boots and hook then around his knees.

Me:  Hey, buddy?  Remember how you wanted to learn?  Now’s your moment!

And . . . . I love him.

***

We had a calf born during our super cold spell.

Can you imagine the horror that poor baby felt?  Leaving that warm cow tummy and plopping onto the snow with an outside temp of 10?

Every day, I try to check on it to make sure it hasn’t turned into a Calfsickle.

So far, so good.

On Christmas Eve, David took Hadley and the boys outside for some cow sorting and other ranching chores.  This is all part of the fun that is called “Living with David.”  I am like a tornado of stress trying to get Christmas to happen, and he’s squeezing in last minute castrations.

We are to leave at 11am and I am in the house doing all things Christmas-y.  Kate is also in the house with me.  Out of nowhere, Kate comes running to me shouting, “DAD IS HURT.” And Kate grabs our first aid kit and goes to assist her father.  David is being his usual, “I’m fine, everything’s fine” self as blood is gushing out of him.  Kate, now a CNA, is trying to be the boss of him and he is simply not having it.  He kinda of wraps up his hand and goes out to finish his chores.

Kate:  MOM!  He needs stitches!

Me:  Ok, Kate.  I will do my best to get him there.

I switch gears knowing that I will be sending the kids with food in one car to the first party while I take a fussy David to the urgent care.  Hadley and the boys come in to start getting cleaned up for town. I ask Kate to start loading cars and she comes in with a very important mission.

Kate:  MOM!  I need Hadley.  WHERE IS HADLEY?

Me:  I don’t know.  What’s going on?

Kate:  ONE OF THE BOYS PUT COW BALLS ON HER CAR.  IF I WERE HER I WOULD BE SOOOOO MAD, SO I NEED TO SHOW HER.  I TOOK A PICTURE.

Hadley turns into a rage of anger and fury.  Hadley is a pretty easy going gal, but when she is mad-watch out!  Her boyfriend call her “Madley” when she gets into this state, and he risks his life each time he calls her “Madley” when she is this angry.

Let’s move on.

I cannot find my fussy patient, but I see HD.

Me:  Did you put the cow balls on Hadley’s car?

HD (laughing):  No, but that’s hilarious.

Me:  I need to take your dad to the doctor.  Can you please remove them for your sister?

So, HD leaves to take care of the situation.  I find David.  David has to argue with me about the necessity of stitches, I argue back, and somehow I win.  We walk outside just as HD is returning from his ball removing mission.

David:  What happened to the cow balls?

David is cranky.  If you asked him in this moment, he would deny all crankiness and say he was “fine.”  But, Reader.  He was not fine.  He was fussy and had a moderate to severe hand wound.

HD:  I got a shovel and I chucked them into the woods.

This did not please David.  Which was confusing to all parties, as David normally just tosses them into the woods.  And what a happy surprise for all the little squirrels and birds of the forest, yes?

David is obviously perturbed and poor HD is trying to figure out how to fix the situation.

HD:  Dad?  I don’t get it?  Were you wanting to eat them?

David won’t answer so I tell HD to go and retrieve said balls and put them in a bucket and place the bucket in the shop and I begin the drive to town.

Me:  Did you know someone put cow balls on Hadley’s car?

David:  YES!  It was me!  All I wanted was a picture!

Me:  THAT’S why you got mad at HD?  Poor kid.  He was just listening to me.  And Kate got a picture already.

So then David called a very confused HD, who had already found the balls in the woods, and told him never mind.

We should write a parenting book, yes?

We get to the urgent care and David has the audacity to grill the nurse on the necessity of the stitches.  Which is every health care worker’s dream on Christmas Eve.

Finally the doctor comes in.  He is aghast at the wound and impressed that David did not sever anything major.  He examines it very closely.

Doc:  Whoa, there is like tons of cow hair and junk in here.  I am going to have to irrigate the heck out of this thing.

As the doctor is tending to the wound, he tells David he is going to be sent home with an antibiotic, and it is important that he take it.

David:  Well, I already gave myself a shot of LA 200.

Me:  WHAT?!

Doc:  What is that?

Me:  It is an antibiotic for CATTLE.  David!?  You gave yourself cow medicine?

David:  Yeah.  Figured it would be cheaper than going to a doctor.

Me:  Doctor-is he going to be ok?!

Doctor:  I have absolutely no idea.

So, as the doctor is scrubbing the cow hair out of David’s flesh, I googled LA 200 and read what I could find to the doctor and we decided he would probably live through it, but still should take the human antibiotic.

He received 12 stitches.

So.  That was that.  And I am waiting with bated breath for David to get me that “Number One Wife” t-shirt I so greatly deserve.

Christmas was fine and fun and lovely.  We hosted Christmas dinner, and I didn’t notice until it was too late, but look at what my Christmas porch looked like the ONE time we had GUESTS.

Here is a cute Christmas picture of Rio.  To make up for the past three horrific photos.

It has been nice having all four kids home. Today they are going sledding.

Happy Sunday.

We are back from our vacation to sunny southern California.

From left – right

Hadley, Me, David, LD, Mom, HD, and Dad.

Kate could not join us this time-our first family trip without her!  How weird is that?

We went to the ocean.

We made all of LD’s dreams come true, and we went to In-N-Out . . . twice!

We went and visited Auntie Datenut.  Have I told you that David is building an apartment for Auntie Datenut and she will be living on our property soon?  It’s true.

Anyways.  We quick grabbed Auntie and we booked it to Palm Springs to visit our favorite Italian restaurant.  On the way, we stopped at Hadley’s and had to get a picture of Hadley at Hadley’s.

Here I am with Auntie at the pizza place.  I neglected to bring my coat to sunny southern California, so my dad lent me his.  And that is just plain nice.

We also went to Disneyland and had a fun, quick trip.

***

This popped up in my memories and I just feel it needs to be reshared:

It was a note the boys put on their bedroom door years ago in an attempt to keep their sisters out of their room.

It reads:  No girls, so that means Kate and Hadley can not go in the boy room when we are naked.  Yes mom you can come 🙂

The last sentence with the smiley face just adds an extra level of creepiness that I will always appreciate.

***
You might recall how David annihilated my fall porch decor-

Look what he did to my Christmas time porch-

The dude has a 30×60 shop, yet this is where the cow dewormer must reside?

Alright.

Happy Wednesday.

We spent a few days with Kate last week.

She is a party and a half.

Kate:  Mom, how is your cobb salad?

Me:  Good.

Kate looks at my salad:  Is the meat on your salad chicken or cobb?

Me:  I do not understand.

Kate:  Is that chicken or cobb?

Me:  Well.  This is chicken.  What exactly do you think cobb is?

Kate:  It is meat, Mom.

Me:  No.  No, it is not.

Kate:  Yeah!  It is fish!

Me:  Ok, that would be cod, and no, that is not on my salad.

Oh, she is tons of fun.  She was home with us for just a bit before we took her to meet up with her boyfriend and his family.  The night before we were to leave, she was all a flutter.

“Mom, can I do laundry?  Mom, can I bake muffins?”

Sure, but I am way too tired so you are on your own, pal.

She fell asleep with her clothes in the washing machine and the muffins made and the kitchen kind of-but not at all-cleaned up.  Since I am the best mom ever, I put her clothes in the dryer for her.  And then folded them.

See?  Nice.

Anyways.  That was all on Friday.  Friday, I had to teach the precious children and leave my classroom ready for a week with a sub.

While I was at school, Hadley and the boys were home.   Jestine, my gal pal who was adopting Darcy/Darla, was planning to come to our house so she could pick up Darcy/Darla and take her to the vet.

Later in the day, I check in with Hadley.

Me:  Did Jestine get the calf ok?

Hadley:  Yeah.

Me:  How did you guys load her?

Hadley:  We put the calf on a sled and we pushed the sled to the horse trailer and got her in that way.

Me:  OH PLEASE TELL ME YOU TOOK A PICTURE

Hadley:  No?  Why would I do that?

Me:  So you can look back at your childhood and marvel at the fact that once you and your brothers got a 300 pound heifer calf on a sled and pushed her through the snow to a horse trailer?

Hadley:  Hmmm.  Anyways.  The sled had poop all over it, so I told Jestine she could have it.  I hope you don’t mind.

Me:  Nope.  She can have the sled.

So, then I was happy for awhile, thinking we had done right by Darla/Darcy, but then Jestine called to deliver the bad news.

The vet was thinking she had some sort of spinal cord injury and said she needed to be put down.  And so, Darla/Darcy traveled back to our house, alive, so that David could put her down in the morning.

Saturday Morning.

On Saturday morning, David, Kate, and I were set to travel 2 hours to meet up with her new boyfriend and his family.

Since she was nervous, I decided it was well within reason to embarrass her, so I sent a text to the boyfriend’s mom that read:

We are running a bit late because David had to put a heifer down unexpectedly this morning.

Kate:  ohmygosh, Mom.  You are sooo weird.

Me:  I know.

Yes, putting Darla/Darcy down was a huge bummer.  I am glad I am not David.  There is no way I could go out there and put her down and bury her.

Me:  David!  Did you even feel bad when you had to shoot her?

David:  Yes, Taylor!  Of course I felt bad!  I always feel bad.

So that was that.  We tried to help her.  We couldn’t help her.  The End.

As luck would have it, the journey to meet up with the new boyfriend included two mountain passes and also our first winter snow storm.  So the drive was a bit much.  But, David successfully maneuvered the car in such a way as to keep it on the road at all times, because he is The Man.

It was nice to visit with Kate when we were not paralyzed with fear in the blizzard.

Kate:  Mom?  Who is the Mexican person on dad’s phone?

Me:  Huh?

Kate:  Dad has a picture on his phone?

So then I laughed and laughed because David has this picture as his wallpaper:

It is me.  With my face in a cutout.

So.  We met the family, and they were kind, and then Kate forgot to give them the muffins.

***

Let’s talk about going on a trip with David.  Before we begin, you must understand that David wanted to go to Mexico.  We were going on a trip with my parents, and they were nervous about travelling outside of the US during this pandemic.  They were ok with us going to Mexico, but David INSISTED we join them for California.

It is truly important that you, Reader, understand that he INSISTED.

On Sunday, I started to get the house in order for our trip.  We were having a HOUSE SITTER for the first time ever and that was making me look at my house with fresh, horrified eyes, so I was trying to clean ALL THE THINGS.

I try to just let David be.  He is always outside welding and building gates and shooting animals and doesn’t really have time to wipe baseboards.

Another thing you must understand is that we have lived in our house for over 11 years and our propane fireplace has never functioned.

Do you see the fireplace?  Behind the dog who isn’t supposed to sleep on the furniture?

Anyways.  I have been pleading with David for about two years to do something about that fireplace.  Because, seriously.  What is the point of it?

David:  Sorry.  Can’t do anything about it.

And this was his story for two years.

But on Sunday, the day I was trying to get my house in order, David came inside and started ripping apart and pulling things off and tearing into the fireplace.

And.

He got it working.

?

Monday.

Monday was my day to completely finish detailing the house and pack and get the house and the people ready for the NOT MEXICO vacation.  Hadley is my best helper and David has the audacity to call and ask her to meet him in town with my car and utility trailer.  And I was so stressed I didn’t even ask him what he was doing on the night before our vacation.

And that, Reader, was a mistake.

Apparently while I was feeling stressed about the house sitter lady judging the state of my silverware drawer, David was worried about the size of his calf water trough.  So he bought a small swimming pool sized trough for $500 and brought it home.

And, Reader.

It took a lot of water to fill up that trough.  And longtime readers might remember that when we run our water for a long time, we get to the bottom of the well.  And then our water turns orange.

So.

All of my hard work of bleaching and cleaning every sink, shower, tub, and toilet was all for naught and now the lady will hopefully be impressed with my organized silverware drawer and not notice my orange toilets.

****

David wore his cowboy boots with cow poop on them to Los Angeles, California.

***

David keeps pulling my mask off my nose and then scolding me for not wearing my mask correctly.

***

When we were getting our rental car, the rental car dude asked David what brought him to Los Angeles?

David:  Honestly I have no idea.  I am just here.  I don’t want to be.

But, remember.

HE INSISTED.

***

And lastly but not leastly, let’s talk about going on a trip with Hadley.

Me:  Hadley, you need to bring your driver’s license.

Hadley:  Got it.

Me:  I am serious.

Hadley:  Got it.

Well, I know my kid.  So I secretly packed all the passports.  Because I am a 40 year old responsible Mom.

We start driving to the airport.

Hadley:  WAIT!  I forgot my driver’s license.

David:  Do I need to turn around?

Me (like a hero):  Nope.

And that is all I have to say for today.

This post will most likely be all over the place, because I am all over the place and my mind is filled with stress.

I am trying to keep a handle on all of the things, but, I will be honest, things are getting  a bit sticky over here.

The main problem is our upcoming vacation.  And why are vacations so stressful?  And we pay for them?

The other night while David and I were trying to hoist the Darla/Darcy calf up so she could stand, I had an epiphany.

Me:  David!  We are going on vacation!

David:  Yup.

Me:  What are we going to do with this calf if she is not well?

We both think for a minute. And we both know that we will have to put her down.  And you know what is fun?  Spending a couple of weeks trying to nurse a calf back to health only to have to end her life because she didn’t make it in time for your vacation.

So, that was a collosial bummer and when I would go and give little miss her food and water I would plead with her to stand up and get a hold of herself because we were soon travelling far away to see Mickey Mouse.

And then David had a great idea and it is a happy solution.  We are giving her away.  We found someone who will “adopt” her.  We are giving her for free-they are taking her to a vet-hopefully she will continue to get well and be a blessing to their family.

You may proclaim, “Taylor!  Why didn’t you just take her to the vet?”

And, oh, if it were only that easy.  It is really hard to find a vet willing to take care of large animals these days, and they certainly aren’t local.  Plus, David and I both work full time away from the house and even farther from the vets and it is just not an easy situation.  The consenus is that she needs a steroid shot.

So, I hope the best for little miss.

This morning, I went out to check on her for the last time.  She will get picked up today.  And when I say “picked up,”  I mean in the most literal sense.

Meanwhile, the children are all busy as well.  Basketball is in full swing.  Little Miss Hadley Beth scored 20 points in a game last week and 24 in a different game this week.

And why won’t she do my hair in cute braids like that?  Oh, she does not like it when I call her Hadley Beth.

Me:  But why?

Hadley:  I do not like my middle name.

Me:  I love it!  In fact, we almost named you Beth.  Beth Taylor.  But I told dad I wanted to call you “Bethie” sometimes and he said no.

Hadley:  Well, thank you dad.  I am really glad I was not named Beth TAYLOR.

And then I thought about the time back in 2005 when I was broke and a stay at home mom to two little girls and really wanted a nice picture.  So I saved my dollars and bundled the girls up and drove them to the faraway mall where the Kiddie Kandids place was and spent those dollars on precious pictures of them for me to treasure and on the way home Hadley BETH pooped the biggest poop in her diaper you would ever imagine and it went all the way up her outfit and up her back and on her neck and I spent hours upon hours detoxing her and the car seat.  And now here we are with that child saying she wouldn’t want to bear my name as her middle name, bless her heart.

Let’s move on.

Kate flew in yesterday.  And tomorrow, David and I, plus maybe some more of our offspring, will be driving Kate 2 plus hours to go and meet her new boyfriend and his parents.

You guys.  Have you ever gone to meet new people with David as your companion?  It is exhausting.  And here is why.

The guy doesn’t talk.

So guess who has to carry the conversation?  And I mean:

CARRY.

IT.

And guess who gets nervous and says awkward things the entire time?  Because my life is weird and how do you even introduce that to someone?

“Hi!  Nice to meet you!  Oh, yes it has been a stressful week!  We are getting ready to go to California, but we have this downer calf.  She is caked in mud, but who has time to bathe her?  Also she cannot get up unless we hoist her and we have to bring her food and water and lift her up so we can clean the poopoo out from under her, and if she doesn’t stand up in time, we have to put her down because we would like to see  Mickey Mouse.”

And then, there is school.

I love teaching first grade.  This we know.  But I will let you in on a little secret:

It is exhausting.

I am happy to report that Mack can read the word “and.”  In fact, Mack has had a breakthrough and has mastered about 5 red words (sight words) and read three decodable books yesterday.

Three.

He is all puffed up with pride and announcing to his classmates that he is a reader and he is pretty sure he is ready for second grade now.

(He’s not.)

Mack is in my most intensive reading group with one other little gal.  This gal has been out sick, so Mack has been basking in all the glory of his one on one time with myself and my title aide.  And I truly wish you could experience reading with Mack one on one.  The entire time I am trying to balance him and steady him and bring him back to me and he is so wiggly and all over the place.  I think I need to take a motion sickness pill from now on before I work with him.

But when he finishes his Bob book, he beams sunshine of pride and joy and it makes it all worth it.

The kids are all amped for Christmas, I am stressed about sub plans, and no one really wants to listen.

One of my little guys hasn’t been doing well behavior wise.  His behavior is somewhat new, due to trauma at home.  It is hard to keep a balance on it all-making sure he is ok and also trying to keep him accountable for his learning and keep up with the class.

Yesterday, he was STRUGGLING to listen and was refusing to work and just doing a lot of scribbling, snapping at classmates, etc.  I pulled him to the back table with me to try and help him get his work done and he was a hot mess and could not follow any directions at all.

I just looked at him and said, “Are you ok?”

Little pumpkin shook his head “no” and burst into tears.  So, he told me his sadness and I gave him hugs and tried to talk him through it and we moved along with our day.

About 10pm last night, I got a message from his mom.  Poor mom is struggling with him at home behavior wise as well and she has a world of stress on her shoulders.

She wanted to let me know that when she was putting the little dude to bed he told her about how he was having a bad day and that I helped him.  She messaged to me to say how thankful she was to know he had me at school and that he loves me as his teacher.

And that is what I needed in life.

Because I do love these kids and I do try and it means the world to me to know that they feel it.

Yesterday-

Student:  Mrs. M!  Today is Thursday!

Me:  Yes, it is.

Student:  Tomorrow will be Friday!

Me:  Yup.

Student:  And then you will say that funny thing?  Remember?  Remember?

Me:  Huh?

Student:  You know-like, yay!  Friday!  Day?  Yay?  Yay Yay?  Friday?

Me:  Oh!  Fri-Day, Fri-YAY!

Student:  Yes!  Friday, Friyay!

So.  Happy Fri-Day, Fri-Yay, Reader.