The Lumberjack's Wife

Cow Update:

We still have them.

I trust you all had a nice Thanksgiving, no?  The astute reader might recall that our oldest, Kate, lives far far away from us now in the land of Jason and Amy.

Remember Jason?

Jason and Amy were coming to the land of us for Thanksgiving and Kate was to hitch a ride with them.  Unfortunately, a great sickness fell upon the house of Jason and Amy, delaying their trip.  After a couple of days of canceled plans, Hadley and I hopped in the car at 5:20am Tuesday morning and started the drive to fetch Kate.

The weather leading up to this road trip was phenomenal.  David casually mentioned to me on Monday night that, “Oh, by the way, we are supposed to get a snowstorm.”  So, naturally, I was all fretful and could not fall asleep until 2am.  I woke up at 4am ready to tackle the 12 hour round trip drive through three states in a snowstorm on two hours of asleep.

Reader.  I am tougher than I look. I have been married to David Maliblahblah for 21 years, after all.

Because Jason had purchased a pig from us, Hadley and I were transporting butchered, chopped up, frozen pig pieces in a cooler.  As people do.  Jason offered to meet us with Kate so we wouldn’t have to drive as far, making the 16 hour round trip drive more like 12.  So that was just plum kind.

So, we set off.  I was super excited about the snowy roads.  At one point I lost control of my car whilst going 60 mph.  My heart leapt out of my chest and fell into my lap.  I made no sudden movements and was able to regain control of the car without harming one hair on anyone’s head and then my heart was able to go back and Hadley and I were a bit terrified and agreed that I handled that sitch like a total champ.

As luck would have it, we left the lands of snowy roads and entered upon sunshine and blue skies and rain and blue skies and rain a blue skies and we even saw this rainbow.

Majestic, no?

We collected Kate and did about 15 minutes of shopping.

Then we had to turn around and drive back through rain and sun and back to the land of snow and ice, the land we choose to dwell in.

We made it and I slept a lot afterwards.

It was nice to have Kate home for a few days and I was even a superstar and had the whole house decorated before her arrival.

I forgot about Rio and trees.

I also forgot to cut a tag off the tree, whish was apparently something I bought last year?  Can you see it?  Can you see it?

D.

Let’s move on.

Thanksgiving week has been full of visitation with relatives from near and far.  Jason and Amy were able to actually come and so we saw all of our kin except Alex and Lauralee.

We had a girls night with the females from the Maliblahblah side.

Sisters Meagan and Jess were also in town and they came to our house for a visit.  While they were there, a calf was down in the mud and unable to get up.

David, Jess, and I went and saved the calf’s live and won Thanksgiving.

Look at how joyous David is.

I forced him to take this groupie.  I am the light of his life.

Happy Saturday!

I am reporting to you, live, (barely) from deep in the throes of Thanksgiving week/Parent Teacher Conference Week/Catching the Chronically Absent Kids Up On Missing Assessments/Getting ready for Thanksgiving break week at school.  I woke up at 2am and was aghast at the thought of being up so early.  But then I kept thinking about all the things that needed to happen over the next 36 hours and sleep was not going to find me again.  I fell asleep at 8pm, and if my calculations are correct, that is six whole hours of sleep, and that will do.

I should be finishing up my progress reports for the conferences that shall happen on this very day.  Yet, here we are.  And we have a lot of ground to cover, my friends.

The kids in my class have done lost their ever loving minds.

The school psychologist came in to observe a few students and I was wondering how on earth he was going to get any data, seeing as how NO ONE was listening to me.  And then there was Mack.

Mack.

We need to talk about Mack.  Mack has gone to the point of no return.  I will need to watch him all day long today to make sure he doesn’t run smack into a wall and knock himself out, bless his heart.  Mack was NOT one of the students the psych was observing, but the school psych will probably inform me that he is one that he should have been watching.

Mack.

Every day, no matter the weather, Mack walks into my classroom, late,  with his winter coat on and zipped to his chin, his backpack on his back, and his breakfast tray full of delicious food.  Mack was wearing that coat during 80 degree weather because he was so proud of the coat his mom bought him for school.  Trying to get him to focus long enough to take the coat off was no easy feat, and here we are in November, and it is still no easy feat.  Also.  Mack doesn’t know how to open his milk carton by himself.  Ask me how I know.

Me:  Ok, Class.  Remember how I went to that new phonics training?  Well, we need to kind of play “catch up” since I am starting late in the year.

Mack:  Yay!  Ketchup!  Let’s play!  Let’s play!  I wanna play!

Me:  No, Mack.  I am saying we need to catch . . . up on a few things.

Mack:  I want to play the game!

Me:  There is no game.

Mack cries. Mack asks me four more times over the next hour when we will play games.  Also, when is recess?

In my training, I learned a fun little song chant that I taught the kids and they double love it.  And whenever we say/sing it, the kids look like child actors from Barney singing a song in perfect unison.  It is a beautiful moment.

It goes like this:  You can say “the” or you can say “thE” (thee) but you always spell it T-H-E.

We do this over and over and over and over.

I am reading with Mack.  I have to steady him every 1.8 seconds so he doesn’t tip over in his chair.  Mack is looking every which way but down at the book and is wondering “what is Sally doing over there?” and “no fair, how come James is on a computer!” and “when is recess?”

Me:  Mack.  Mack.  Mack.

Mack:  Huh?

Me:  Let’s read.

Unfortunately, the first word is “the.”  Mack, who is a very emergent reader, starts trying to sound out the.  And if you have ever tried to sound out “the,” you will understand that it is simply not doable.

Me:  Mack.  This is a red word.

Mack:  Where’s Jack going?

Me:  Mack.  Look at this word.

Mack:  Awwww, man.  I don’t know how to read.

Me:  You can do it!  Look at this word.

Mack:  I don’t know it.

Me:  You can say the, or you can say thE, but you always spell it-

Mack (shouts) T-H-E!

Me:  Great!  Now look at this word.

Mack sounds it out again.  We do this three times before he understands that the word is “the”.  Spelled T-H-E.

Mack was one of a few lucky kids who were chosen to get free tickets on a local Santa cruise.  I pulled him in the hallway to tell him about it two days ago and it was the greatest mistake of my teaching career.

Because Mack is way so excited and Mack doesn’t understand when anything is or will be happening.  Every five minutes he is asking if he is going on the boat and I am like, No, Friend, that is in 21 days, and he is like “Is that after lunch?” And I am going to need a lot of coffee to get through this week with Mack.  Also, when is recess?

He was so physically out of control yesterday that one of the lunch ladies had to grab his lunch tray, steady him, and sternly say, “I need you to calm down and hold your tray.”

Have you ever read the book, “No, David?”

Mack is David.

My patience is wearing thin.  I am trying, but it is just a lot.  My one little gal, Sally, has upped her usual quota of 2 tattles a minute to 5 and I am going into shut down mode with her.

Me during phonics drills:  Eyes on me, the sound is .  . .

Sally:  Ah!  Mrs. M!  Mrs. M!  Betsy stuck her tongue out at me!

Me:  Well, if your eyes were on me like I had asked, you would not have seen Betsy’s tongue.

Teacher of the Year.

And the whole class is excited and amped up and I have to pull out all my tricks to get them back with me.  One such trick is for me to call out:

Flat Tire!

And then the kids all say “shhhhhhhhh” and quiet down and look at me.

Do you know how often I am having to say Flat Tire this week?  I sound like a lunatic in there.

Hal’s even started shouting out “Flat Tire.” Oh, Hal.

Girls coughs in the vicinity of him.

Hal puts up his hand and says, “I think you need to consider social distancing.”

Let’s move on.

A few of you have inquired about how my new hobby, crocheting,  is going.

I had progressed from “yarn and hooks in the bag” to “yarn and hooks out of the bag and on my nightstand”.  And that is how the situation remained for many days.

And then one day, I got home and saw this:

Me:  David.  What happened to the yarn?

David:  I don’t know.  When I got home it was all over the entire house.

So, I had a little chuckle thinking of the cats joyfully spreading yarn around the entire house while I was in town Flat-Tiring some first graders.

And that is how crocheting is going.

Sunday was a bad day.  I give Sunday two thumbs down.  Awhile back, I told David I didn’t like his keeping the calves in the corral situation.  And it is so refreshing to be old and 40.  I just speak my mind whenever I please.

Me:  David.  Let the calves out of the corral.

David:  No.  I don’t want to sort them again.

The area of the corral is a spot on our property where all the mud in the property gathers.

Me:  The calves are all standing in a foot of mud at all times.  That cannot be good for them!  They are going to die of foot rot or something.

Fun Fact:  I have no idea if “foot rot” is a thing.  But I sure don’t like the calves standing in mud.

So then David just decides on Sunday to create a new pen for the calves!  Because I am truly the brains of this operation over here.

David and the kids started to work on the fence and I washed windows.  Oh, I was doing a superb job, washing both the interior and the exterior and cleaning the tracks and just really doing a top notch job.

And then, I decided to wash the screens.

I really wanted to use the pressure washer to attack the screens, plus all the siding on the house, but I am not capable of setting the pressure washer up without David or the boys, and they were off building a new calf fence, so I had to figure out a different plan.

The bathtub!

So, I start washing one disgusting screen in the tub and I decided to start rinsing off another one in the shower while I was cleaning the one in the tub.  For efficiency and all.

And, Reader.

Something happened in that shower and the screen somehow shattered the ENTIRE shower glass door.

Glass was everywhere, including on me.  There was SO. MUCH. GLASS.

So, I had to walk away and take a breather as it was all so ovewhelming.  I made meatloaf and potatoes for the fence builders for lunch and then I went back to glass and spent the rest of my life trying to get glass out of the carpet because whoever designed our house was foolish enough to put carpet in the master bathroom.

And then David finished the fence and had to come inside and assist me with my issues, and he loves when he has to fix all the things, and then he decided to store a bunch of concrete under a tarp on my front porch instead of in his shop and I am trying not to feel fussy about it, but he knocked over my cute “thankful” sign and is blocking my mums from view.

But at least he incorporated the pumpkins.  And he added some tires.

Flat Tire!

Let’s talk about basketball, shall we?

LD is in 8th grade, but gets to play up on JV.  HD is in 9th grade and also plays JV.  HD is 11 and LD is 21 and look at this sweet bro-bro action.

And doesn’t LD almost look like a MAN now?

Yeah.  That would be my 13 year old.  The child who I lovingly call Cokey Bear.

LD:  My basketball shoes feel too tight.

Me:  What!?  The ones we just bought you?

LD:  Yup.

Me:  Aren’t they size 13?

LD:  Yup.

Me:  Well, I am sorry.  You have to wear them for the whole season.

LD was fouled and had to shoot free throws.  He made one but the refs canceled it because he stepped on the line.  A bit later when he came out of the game, one of the big senior varsity players told him a trick about how to avoid that in the most kind, mentor like way and it made my heart happy.  Wasn’t that nice of that senior to help my 8th grade dude?

HD is also a swing player for the varsity team, and more excited he could not be.

Me:  Look at how big my boys are getting!  They are huge!

And then HD warmed up with Varisty.

Me:  Ahhhh.  He is still my little boy.

Hadley is also playing.  This is her senior year.

LD is going to have a friend over this weekend.  This is going to be quite the event because LD’s friend doesn’t usually stay over at other peoples’ houses, as he gets a bit nervous around people he does not know.

So, this has been an event we have been trying to plan for awhile and all the bits and pieces were coming together.

And, then.

Then I realized that this weekend is also a butchering weekend.

So, that’s just great.  Let’s have the kid who is anxious come over to meet the people he doesn’t really know, and I am sure he will find it completely normal that his friend’s dad wakes up at 4am to shoot one of the gigantic cows on the property and start butchering it in the driveway while three dogs howl in their kennels.

Alright.  Happy Thursday.

My Mom:  What are you doing this weekend?

Me:  Cleaning, laundry, and revamping my whole reading program.

Ha.

“Revamping My Whole Reading Program.”

And other lies I tell myself.

I thought about it and I cannot wrap my brain around it all the way yet, so revamping shall wait.  I spent all week in a training for Orton Gillingham, if that means anything to you.  It was excellent and overwhelming all wrapped into one.  My instructor was the most fun and not only did I learn much about the art of teaching reading from him, but I also scored this nugget, per Mr. Teacher’s advice.

When the children keep asking the same thing that you have already told them so many times, such as:

“Mrs. M.  I am done.  Where should I put my paper?”

just start singing this song, to the tune of “If You Don’t Know Me By Now”.

“If you don’t know THIS by now.  You will never, never, never know it.  Ooooh-oooh-oooh.”

Friends.  I simply cannot wait to try it out.  I shall keep you abreast of the situation.

***

Ask me how crocheting is going.

***

Sometimes I make David watch funny videos, such as SNL clips on the YouTube.  I feel it gives him a healthy break from all the pig butchering videos.

He loves it.

Me:  David-that guy right there is married to Scarlett Johansson.  Do you know who that is?

David:  Yeah.  The girl from “Gone With The Wind.”

Me:  Are you kidding me right now?

David:  No!  She was in that book.

Out of desperation, frugality, and a lack of other options, David listened to Gone With the Wind via the Audible.

Me:  Do you love it?  Do you love it?  Do you love it?

David: ________

Me:  It is just sooooo good.

David:  It’s kinda long.

Anyways.  I had to explain to David that Scarlett Johansson is a living, breathing actress who makes a LOT more money than us, and Scarlett from the book was ficticious and would surely be dead at this moment in time, had she been a living human being.

***

David is losing hair from his head, but growing more hair out his ears and eyebrows.  I really want to groom him, but he is too manly for that.

Please advise.

***

Seriously.  Ask me how crocheting is going.

***

David and the boys worked hard all week to repair the in ground wire fence for the dogs.  This dog fence has been the bane of my existence.  But they worked hard all weekend long and finally got it all squared away.

HD is in the skidsteer.  David is wearing the hood and LD is standing near by with the red bucket.  They are burying a wire in the ground, or so I was led to believe.  The boys and David are all almost the same heighth now.

When they came in, I had a big spaghetti meal prepared for them, and, because I am a wife worth more than fine rubies, I had prepared a chocolate cake for David and had a jar of his family’s homemade applesauce chilling in the fridge. Longtime readers just might recall David’s odd obsession with sauced apples.  I don’t share in the obsession, as I am not a baby and I can eat a whole apple without it being pureed.  But, I digress.

David enjoys taking perfectly good chocolate cake and dumping loads of applesauce on it.

Never store bought applesauce!  That would be silly.

I spent a lot of time meal prepping this weekend and dealt with So MUCH beef.  So, naturally, I ate oatmeal instead.  Because I have a hard time eating food when I knew that food and his/her parents.

The dogs and I are enjoying our walks.  I surely love those dogs.

Whenever I get home from work, I shout/sing to them “All the Little Puppies!” to the tune of Beyonce’s “All the Single Ladies!”

Feel free to steal that juicy tip.

The dogs like to jump on the hay bales.

David likes to have hay bales.  He literally has 798 giant hay bales and every day he’s all:

“Taylor.  We have a hay problem.  We need more hay.”

He’s not stable, mentally.

Oh!  I have yet to show you this gem.  Kate sent this little memorial for Hazel’s grave. HD accidentally dropped it and shattered it.  For a minute, I thought about ordering a new one.

But then I was like, Nah.  It represents my shattered heart.

Bleeding hearts of the world.

Anyways. Here’s Matilda’s calf.

Let’s move on.

I have been noticing that David’s laundry is always so much easier to fold than everyone else’s.

Well.  Yesterday, David was taking his shorts off (calm down, it wasn’t as exciting as it sounds), and he was like shimmy-shaking.

Me:  What on earth are you doing?

David:  I am taking my shorts of CORRECTLY.

And I just stood there and thought for a minute.  And, Reader.  David ALWAYS puts his clothes in the hamper with them all not inside out.  Like if I take a sweatshirt off, I pull it off in all sorts of weird ways and it is inside out and sleeves are stuck and it is a hot mess.

But David takes his clothes off in the neatest way possible and I just now realized this after 21 years of marriage.  And that is why his clothes are so easy to fold.

And I could not stop laughing at the way he said “CORRECTLY” and I know he was throwing some shade my way.

Today was Sunday and a day we could sleep in.  So you can imagine my dismay when I woke up at 4:16am ready to greet the day.  I tried to go back to sleep, but it was not working.

David:  Did you start the coffee?

Me:  No!  It is like 4am and I feel like I should try to go back to sleep!

But then I had to get up and go to the bathroom, and Reader!  It was daylight savings time!  My phone said 4:16am, but the oven clock said 5:16am.  And 5:16am IS sleeping in for David and I! And that is reasonable.

Joyous!

So we made coffee and watched three episodes of Ted Lasso at 4:30 in the morning.  As people do.

David has been fussy with me lately, but I didn’t know why.

I have spoken before of David and his two moods:

Fine.

Not fine.

Not fine means everything that is not fine.  It is quite broad.

Anyways, he has been “not fine” with me, but when I ask him, he doesn’t answer and so it has been an exhausting adventure of guess and check.

I was noticing he seemed fussy with me for falling asleep early every night.

Because, first graders.

David has been working a ton and hunting and busy and we haven’t seen each other much.  But this weekend, he was home more than he has been usually.

David:  I haven’t seen this much of you in awhile.  I missed you.

And isn’t that the most romantic thing you have ever heard?

I will try to stay awake a bit later at night to visit with him.

He was not fine because he missed me.

I like him.

This is Rio the Kitty, every morning, when I am trying to drink coffee.

She makes it quite difficult.

So much has been going on, although not much of it very entertaining.

Teacher life is exhausting.  Mostly because I just plowed on through “Halloween Week.”  And Halloween in an elementary school is not for the faint of heart, my friends.

First off, I had to dress up, yet again, and I double hate dressing up for Halloween.

But I double love my teaching team.

We are all book characters from our favorite author, Mo Willems, if you must know.  And you must also know that I am surely not creative.  I bought a bunch of felt and foolishly tried to create my own pigeon shirt.  And I bought a shirt online but got confused on the size chart.

I think I will wear it to bed.  It looks super appropriate for a 40 year old person’s pajamas, yes?

And then I was cranky and I showed up to school in a mediocore Pigeon costume and it was fine and I did it FOR THE CHILDREN.

Speaking of the children.  They were exhausting this week. Because, Halloween. And they were hard on my heart.  CPS reports had to be made on behalf of one of my kiddos, and that caused me worry and angst.  I had to make phone calls to parents regarding academic concerns and I got hung up on.  And I give getting hung up on two thumbs down. It was just all around a tough week.

But we made parachutes in science, so that was fun.

And the whole community is up in arms, and just in case you wanted to hear it from someone who is working in a school, No, we are not teaching Critical Race Theory, and No, Social Emotional Learning is not something to take the place of parents teaching important values to their children, and yes, Social Emotional Learning is a good thing.  I promise.  And I am not crazy.  I don’t think.

So.  Those are the things going on in my world and it feels disheartening.

Let’s move on.

Hadley’s senior pictures were taken, if you can believe such a thing.

We have not seen them yet, but I am looking forward to them.

HD was recently diagnosed with Vitiligo on his face.  It has been a weird couple of months trying to figure out what was happening with his skin.  He feels a bit bummed about it and we are trying to attack it with a treament plan from a dermatologist.

The puppy brothers chewed the arm of his glasses, but we haven’t had time to show our faces to Bob and let him know that for a third time, a dog has eaten the glasses.  They are still wearable.  So poor HD gets to tackle freshman year with Vitiligo, braces, and chewed glasses.  #killingit.

We have sponsored a Compassion child for maybe 11-12 years?  We write back and forth frequently, but it takes quite a while for a letter to get to and from.  She recently shared with us that she had gotten pregnant and the circumstances around it were very questionable.  Honestly, I am pretty sure it was a rape.  So, that has been distressing, but we reached out to Compassion and they have opened an investigation.  She had her baby and her mom takes care of him and she is trying to go to school to be a lawyer.  She shared that she was in need of milk and diapers and I do not know when she will get it, but we were able to send her cash through Compassion.  So that little gal is also weighing on my heart.

There are lots of things weighing on my heart, apparently.  Let us try to lighten things up.

Hadley and her boyfriend bought me surprise kitchen towels just because and for no reason at all.

When I texted him thank you, her boyfriend replied:

“We knew you would love it.”

Isn’t that nice?

I have also decided to take up crocheting.  I made a potholder once in seventh grade, so I am sure I will pick it up real easy.  I have gotten as far as purchasing yarn and a couple crochet hooks and I brought them in from the car and they are in a bag in my house.

I have high hopes.  My teaching team-

Remember them?

We have decided to try and take up crocheting in the evenings to soothe the teaching stress.  I don’t think any of us have actually done it yet, but let the records show, we are contemplating it.

David thinks that me starting up crocheting is super weird.

Just wait until he sees my new pajamas.

This week, I was reading a book called “The Little Old Lady Who Wasn’t Afraid of Anything.”

Me:  Class, look at this picture!  She totally looks scared in this picture!

Class:  Yes!  Yes, she does!

Me:  Well, I thought she was “The Little Old Lady Who Wasn’t Afraid of ANYTHING!”

Student:  Well, that is a TOTAL rip off!

Happy Saturday.

Hadley and HD are our “middle” children.

Kate and LD would be our “bookends.”

The BookEnds like to pretend they don’t need any of us.  I mean, we all know they do, but we let them keep up the pretence.

But, the Middles.  They have always been more prone to hanging out with their cool parents.  And this weekend, David and I had some time with those Middles.

First of all, let us discuss hunting.

Back when all four kids were little, David used to leave on extended hunting trips.  Like 9-10 day trips.  Like totally abandon me with multiple children under the age of 5.

For days upon days, he would be gone.  And he would have no phone service.  It was a tragic time for me.  I was a stay at home mom and really looked forward to him coming home each night so I could speak to an adult.  Those hunting trips were tough.

Especially when all four kids got sick at once.

The kids really missed him-particularly the middles.

For one trip, David left before HD had woken up from his nap.

Oh, the humanity of it all.  We had to have him call David before he was completely out of service.

Should he have been wearing glasses here?  Yes.

Were they broken?  Most likely.

After he hung up, HD looked at me and said, “Mommy I hold you,” and that mean he would please like a hug.

Hadley, who was awake and present during David’s departure, did not handle him leaving all that well.

But that was the hunting of yesterday.

Let’s talk about hunting today.

Hunting today involves three kids with hunting licenses and tags of their own to fill.  Hunting today involves our glorious trailer at the glorious river property.  Hunting today means Taylor is not stuck at home with kids and no adults.

Hunting today is better.  Much.

David and Hadley left for a weekend hunting trip.  LD went to a friend’s house and HD and I were home alone.  David found himself on top of a mountain with cell service and texted me-plans were made, and HD and I loaded up the dogs and went to the river for the night.

It is still lovely at the river.

Saturday also happened to be Niko and Norman’s first birthday.

Can you believe that?

So, here are the puppy brothers on their first birthday-

And here they were the day we got them-

So, HD and I got to the river while David and Hadley were still hunting.  We had some time to play with the dogs and get settled in.

David and Hadley returned and we watched a DVD, snacked on pizza, and snuggled with dogs.

It was a nice evening at the river, hanging out with the middles.  And this morning, I snapped this photo of David and Hadley before they set out for elk hunting-

And that, my friends, is a much better picture than this one-

HD and I had a bit of a lazy morning with dogs and coffee, and then we left the river and headed for home.

Happy Sunday

I snapped this photo of a firstie last Friday because it was, in fact, hilarious.

I call it

“A Friday Afternoon After A Week of First Grade”

For this gal’s free choice time she chose computers, which is fine, but look at that hair, Man.  There are headphones in there somewhere.

Let’s move on.

I feel the need to tell you all that my knee feels phenomenal.  And I think the reason it feels so great is because I was approved for so much extra physical therapy compared to the previous surgeries and recoveries.  I think it is because it is a workman’s comp claim?  I don’t know.  But I am still going twice a week and it hasn’t felt this good in over ten years and I no longer need to ice it daily.  Usually, I am only in therapy long enough to work on bending and extending it.  Now I am working on strength, and let me tell you, strength is good.

We went to the river for what was probably our last time “camping.”  David and the children might still use it for hunting season.

We are all loving the river property and feel so thankful for it.

We had some sad news from Alex, David’s brother, the other day.

Remember Alex?

You might say, “Taylor! What is going on in this picture?”

Well.  We Maliblahblahs fancied grabbing some ice cream one hot summer day, as Maliblahblahs are wont to do.  Alex was refused entry because he was shirtless, as we had been floating the river.  Which we are also wont to do.

Anyways, things can get crazy with Alex.  I think he raided our SUV and found Hadley’s Old Navy Girls Size Medium Puffy vest.

Alex puts the vest on-hijinks ensue-and he triumphantly walks out with his ice cream cone.

Back to the sad news.

You may recall we took his dog, Cali, in for 2 1/2 years during a time when he could not keep her.  I will admit that I had a sour-ish attitude at times about keeping Cali for so long.  But when he was able to take her back again, he was so thankful and texted us pictures of her and told us how much he appreciated it.  And so I didn’t feel so sour anymore.

Cali got sick and he had to put her down recently.  Isn’t that just the saddest news?  He sure loved that dog.  He had a year with her in the end.

Those pets.  They sure do sneak into our hearts.

Let’s talk about first graders, shall we?

First off, our school is the most bestest school in the nation and we have our very own dog on staff.

I submit that there is no better way to start your day than with a hug from our school dog.

I was reading “Interrupting Chicken” the other day.  Have you read this book?  You should.  Especially if you are a first grader.

Anyways, it is a jolly tale about interrupting and as I was reading it, we were ironically interrupted by a staff member.  She was feeling fussy with a couple of my boys because they had taken their bags of Wheat Thins at lunch and were tossing them around.  Which is naughty, of course.  So, she was stopping in to remind them how to properly handle their Wheat Thin Bags.

And then-my most hilarious student interrupted her.

Hilarious Student:  I did not throw my Wheat Thins, but I did take the crackers and used them like a spoon to dip into my strawberry yogurt, and I must tell everyone, it was DELICIOUS.

So then I had to try and not laugh during the serious Wheat Thins discussion.  And let’s be impressed by how many times people were interrupting each other during the lesson about interrupting.

Hilarious student is like a 40 year old man in the body of a six year old.  We should probably give him a name.  He will most likely be making several appearances in this blog.

Let’s call him “Hal.”

Hal was my kiddo was was very moved emotionally after learning about the Pledge of Allegiance.  And he is the one who whisper-shouts “YES!” and does an air fist pump when it is time to recite the Pledge.

During Social Studies this week, we learned about an American Veteran who had lost his arm in a war.

Me:  Class, this is why we say the Pledge each day.  We need to honor and remember what people have sacrificed for our country.

And then Hal, completely on his own, turned to the flag, put his hand on his heart and whisper mouthed the Pledge to himself.  And is that not the most precious thing?

For reasons I will never understand, I call my students, “Friends.”

“Good Morning, Friend!”

“Hi, Friend.  Can you come and do your lunch choice?”

“Friend, can you stop beat boxing while I am trying to teach you?”

I have never had a student call me “Friend.”

Until yesterday.

I was standing in the hall as they were leaving for the day, wishing them goodbye and farewell and good day.

Student, who is always unbearably loud, “Bye Mrs. M!”

And he started off down the hall.

And then he stopped, turned around, gave me a giant hug and said-shouted:

“Bye, FRIEND!”

So, in summary and summation, I have the best job in the world.

Kate came home this weekend for a quick visit.

The girls and I went to lunch and did some shopping.

We had a large family gathering and I cooked beef from a cow whose life was ended by my own husband.  May the Lord bless me and keep me.

We visited.  We caught up on the things.  We took a walk with the dogs.

Isn’t it lovely?  You can see the lake in the background.  This is less than two miles from home.

And then, Kate got on a plane and went back to school.

She will return around Thanksgiving.

Happy Monday!

Last weekend when we were camping, I came out to our “living room” and saw David and Hadley in the recliner chairs enjoying pumpkin pie with whipped cream at 7 in the morning. Poor Hadley.  Her mouth is hurting even worse now.  Anyways, it was cute and they had the fire going and this is what the puppy brothers looked like:

Yes.  Our camper has a living room.  It is nicer than our house.

We were planning a road trip to go and see Kate, but we ran into a few problems regarding leaving the farm and the dogs. We had already planned on bringing Niko to see her, and we weren’t super excited about the 8 hour trip, plus Niko, plus 5 people, but these are the things you do for family.  Anyways, we were having trouble finding help with Norman and Charlie and David said this actual sentence:

“I think we should just take all three dogs on the trip.”

So, I booked Kate a flight home instead!  Genius!

She got in last night.  David and I were completely asleep, naturally.  I was able to wake up and visit.  The best part of it all was that LD had bathed the dogs so they would be clean and lovely for her visit, and when she arrived, HD went and let her dog out of his kennel right away so she could visit him.  So that was a nice, harmonic time for my children as siblings that I shan’t soon forget.  She and Hadley are off flitting about town visiting all of her old stomping grounds.  And I am at home dealing with:

The Great Dog Cow Poop Pig Gut Pile Aftermath 2021.

I love David.  I really do.  I think he is swell and I have cherished our time together as man and wife.

But, the gut pile.

We need a new plan with the gut pile, reader.  Perhaps you could tell me how you all handle your gut pile quandaries at your home?  I kid.  I jest.

But, the gut pile.

Our dogs do not go to the bathroom in their kennels.  But poor Norman got sick after snacking on the gut pile and made a big poo in his kennel and LD almost puked about 7 times while trying to help clean it up.

It is not a normal smelling poo, Reader.  It is pig gut poo.  And it is nasty-wrong.

And then they go outside and they know how to open the doors and they come in if we forget to deadbolt the doors and then they jump around and get muddy paw prints all over the place.  And I say muddy paw prints but we all know it is cow poop.

So, today.  Today I am cleaning.  And feeling downtrodden about my situation here, if I am being honest.  I am also hopeful the girls will buy some pretty nail polish while they are flitting about town and come make my toesies look pretty.  Because I think cleaning up after dogs who smell like pig guts would be an all around better experience if I had this color on my toes.

Yes.  I took a picture on my computer.  I was lying to myself about getting caught up on some grading and Facebook made me want this nail polish instead.  But I have to spend all the dollars if I order it from those peeps, so I am hoping the girls will find a happy compromise.

And then there’s the boys.

Last night, HD was very kind and offered to start a load of laundry for me.  I was folding it this morning and noticed that there were bleach spots on the clothes.  So I asked HD to show me what he put in the washing machine and he put in bleach instead of detergent.  Because he thought it was detergent.

HD:  Ok, ok, but Mom.  Where do I put the conditioner?

Me:  What?

HD:  I always forget where the conditioner goes.

Me:  Conditioner is for YOUR SHOWER.

HD:  I am confused.

He meant softener.  Bless his heart.  And then this morning the boys went to go and sort cows even though no one told them to, and LD chose to wore shorts and Crocs.  So he came into the house, after kindly taking the Crocs off, but because Crocs have holes in them, he had cow poop mud on his toes, and he also had it all over his legs.  Plus he was bleeding a little.

?

Me:  Nope.  You cannot come in like that.

LD:  But I took my shoes off!

Me:  You have poop on your feet.

So he left for what I foolishly assumed was a shower and then I saw him 10 minutes later walking around like he owned the place with clean toesies but poop/blood still on his legs.  He had the audacity to argue with me in my own living room about the necessity of also washing his legs because,

“Gosh, Mom.  It is not like my legs are touching anything.”

So.  Here’s to hoping that the girls find that nail polish.

In other news, Charlie is two years old today.

Here’s a picture of her the day we got her-

And a recent picture of her “reading” with me.  She jumps up with me if David isn’t home and I give her the “ok.”

You may ask, “Taylor? Should you own light, cream-colored bedding?  Given your lifestyle and how prone your home is to random cow poop and gut pile attacks?”

No.  No, I should not.  Yet, here we are.  And guess what is in my washing machine right now? (Without bleach) (Also without conditioner)

So the dogs are banished outside again for the day.  They need another bath before they can come in.  And then we need to clean the tub.  And then we will have to do it again tomorrow.

Let’s move on.

I have this first grade student who thinks he is Mr. Cool.  Oh, he struts around and cracks jokes at in-opportune times.

He sometimes will start beat-boxing during read alouds.

Poor little beat boxer got sent back to his table for awhile.  Because, consequences.

Anyways, I was reading some story and there was a hunter with a hunting rifle, and Mr. Cool shouts, “Cool!  Do those guys have AK-47s?

And I was like, No.  No, they do not, child.

I was telling the kids about Mr. Maliblahblah and they were like, who is Mr. Maliblahblah, and I was like he is my husband.

Student:  But YOU are Mr. Maliblahblah.

Me:  No.  I am MRS. Maliblahblah.

Student:  You have the same name as him!  That is so weird!

And the whole class erupted into uncontrollable laughter.  I wonder if Mr. Cool was jealous that my husband’s name got more laughs than his story-interrupting-beat-boxing event.

I hope so.

Haircut Lisa gave me a clipping of her plant several months ago.  Wandering Jew.  It is going bananas!  I just keep cutting it and planting another pot and it is so fun.

Doesn’t it look nice?

It almost makes me forget about my pig gut pile problems.

Well.

Almost.