We Have a Door Bell!

Hello.  I am reporting to you live (barely) from the trenches of home school planning bliss.  As if my life couldn’t get any more exciting.  And it’s not.

I am bound and determined to be organized this year.  It is going to take me all summer long to get the first 6 weeks of my enviable homeschooling life planned out.  And after those first well-planned 6 weeks, I shall lose all control and break into survival mode and eat a lot of chocolate and gain 5 pounds immediately.

Not that I know from experience. 

Yesterday, after many hours of the aforementioned joyous home school organizing, I had HAD it with my kids.  I know, I know.   They are so precious, so sweet, so how could I ever lose my patience?

Well.  I’ll tell you how. 

 One tends to lose her patience when certain girls decide to “help” with homeschool organizing and dump several things out around the living room and then become fatigued and no longer want to assist.  And then boys wake up cranky from their naps and need snacks and milk made of chocolate immediately and cry and whine and tinkle on the toilet seats for unsuspecting mothers to sit on (ask me how I know).  And then mother starts to feel sickly and has to visit the toilet too often (you know.  the toilet with the precious little boy tinkle on it?).  And that same, poor mother has to cancel her night out with friends because she is certain she will not make the drive without needing a restroom.

And why do we have so many broken crayons?

And scrap paper?  Who needs this much paper?

And I have 18,000 pairs of useless childproof scissors, yet not one pair of adult scissors.

Where did the adult scissors go, I ask you?

And why do the kids keep walking around with granola bars when I specifically say:

“Please sit at the table with your food.”

So.  Take all that into consideration and feel badly for me when I tell you I had a  “moment”, and I snapped and yelled (yes, yelled.  See?  I do lose my patience.):

“I SAID SIT DOWN WITH YOUR FOOD!  NOW!”

And at the very instant that wretched yell was out of my mouth, the doorbell rang.

*Gasp*

I didn’t even know we had a doorbell, I kid you not.

  It was the most eerie sound that has permeated our peach, Ruralville walls.

A human!  A live human!  Coming to call and I just yelled the wretched yell of motherhood.

Goshdarnit.

It was a friendly neighbor coming to call.  The same neighbor who came to warn me about the bears.  So, I had to go out there and hope that he has terrible hearing and did not hear my fit.

Because I threw a fit, dear readers, yes, I did.

But that is neither here nor there.

I thought it might be fun to share some homeschool and/or household organization tips.

You know.  For kicks and grins.

Because some people, obviously not myself, might be a little frazzled and need them.

So, if you feel so inclined, leave a comment sharing a tip for how you keep it all together so you don’t have a “moment” and scream when unsuspecting, bear-warning, neighbors come to call.

How do you plan out your lessons?

How do you store supplies?

Where do you keep PAPER?  You know.  The used kind.  That is deemed precious by the children?

Do your kids eat granola bars whilst walking in the living room?

What are some things you have the other children do when you are working individually with one child?

Do you, like, know what you are making for dinner tonight?  How?

What ARE you making for dinner tonight?

I am making tacos.  Only because I have camping leftovers.  Holla!

Go look at your toilet seat.  Do you have pee pee on it?  I bet I do.

And if you don’t have a tip, surely you have a story that will make me feel better about my “moment?”

Hmmmm?

Hmmmm?

Ok, Bye.

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46 Responses to We Have a Door Bell!

  1. Brenda says:

    After a small, but loud, moment in the batting cage parking lot, my middle sons looks at me with his big brown eyes and says…
    “Mommy, why are you shouting at us?”
    My answer…
    “BECAUSE IT’S THE ONLY LANGUAGE YOU UNDERSTAND!”
    and THAT’S why I never win Parent of the Year.

  2. Sandy says:

    i got nothin’…

  3. Erin says:

    I yelled tonight too. It was loud. My voice cracked. And I was yelling about loudness, for irony’s sake.

    I will have to tune in to your comments to steal ideas about keeping siblings entertained.
    Right now I get a little mileage out of play-doh and coloring books. But not enough. I will probably resort to educational videos, but then I will have to hear the complaints from Alex who would prefer to watch them instead of do school.

    And I always wonder how people know what they are eating for dinner, too. Dinner is so sneaky. I mean, if only it were something that we did every day I might remember.

    Oh, wait.

    Taylor, it’s been long enough now that you should remember to check the seat before sitting. No more of this slacking on your part.

  4. I always say I’m not going to yell at my kids, but I fail. Daily. In fact, I just got done with a little fit just a bit ago when I got tired of seeing toys and papers and stuff on bedroom floors. I’m pretty sure they think I’m a meanie head. I’m also pretty sure that I feel like a bad mom when I launch into one of my fits and I really try to hold it all in, but somehow it just comes out. I’m also pretty sure there are a lot of other moms who feel like we do. Sigh…I am praying that God will help me tame my temper a bit more. I’ve been doing a lot of counting to 10 lately and usually it takes me about 3 or 4 times of counting to calm me down so I don’t yell. You aren’t alone, Taylor.
    I also must admit that I’m looking forward to school starting back soon. In those quiet afternoons before they get home I’ll miss them.

  5. Dawn says:

    For some reason, children are incapable of hearing lower decibel levels when they are being naughty. Hey! I’ve got news for you! My parents went vacationing Wyoming and Idaho and brought me Huckleberry brownie mix, Huckleberry tea and Huckleberry syrup!!!!! I’m stoked! And no picking was involved!

    • Andi says:

      Hey sister! The very week our folks were camping, my coworker went to Glacier National park and he brought back Huckleberry taffy. I don’t even LIKE taffy necessarily. BUT I totally ate a ton of them. AND I can’t wait to see what goodies our parents brought us.

      So, Taylor, back to you now. I totally thought of you every time I ate a piece of sweet goodness!

      Holla!

      • Andi says:

        Oh, and I once yelled “Get your butt in this house because I’m about to beat it!” so loud that my neighbor spanked his little boy for the same antic my kids were pulling!

  6. JodiJean says:

    I had to memorize James 1:19-20 to keep my yelling in check. It really helped! As for dinner, I’m one of those annoying people with a meal planning calendar and a freezer full of meals prepared in advance. Tonight we are having almond chicken dijon AFTER frozen yogurt. Yep, dessert first tonight because it’s summer, and I want to be silly sometimes! Speaking of dinner, nobody is awake from napping yet! Oh dear, I must start making some noise because I am making them walk a mile to get their beloved dessert dinner!
    Good luck planning school. I forgive you for saying that word during my restful summer! 🙂

  7. Nathalie says:

    Tips…um…you could hire a girl home from college to plan your meals. My daughter came home and has planned and cooked nearly every meal since May. She leaves next week, and I’m seriously thinking of making her attend the local college so she can continue to cook while I go out and impart reading strategies to unsuspecting teenagers.

    Boy, I was real helpful, eh?

    Take a deep breath and remember that God will not judge you for how clean your potty was (or wasn’t) and how many nights in a row that you fixed mac and cheese for the kids. Just continue to love those precious babies and the man who brings home the bacon. 🙂

  8. LeAnna says:

    We should start a club. Yellers Anonymous.

    Oh wait, that club already exists. It’s called motherhood.

    This might be out of line, but are you pregnant? You know, visits to the porcelain throne are induced by a.) hormonally derived nausea or b.) the stomach flu

    And because I asked, feel free to smack me over the head and/or pray that the fleas of a thousand camels would infest my armpits. 😉

  9. Taylor says:

    Brenda-nice 🙂
    Sandy-that’s ok
    Erin-you are right. I have no one to blame but myself. I shall try and be more alert!
    Proverbs 31-Thanks. It’s good to know I am not alone. 🙂
    Jodi-I am totally going to memorize that verse. And I want to be more organized with dinner. I really do.
    Nathalie-Thank you! I really needed to be reminded of that!
    LeAnna-HA! I laugh at the thought!

  10. Jessy says:

    What did the bear-warning neighbor have to say? Was he warning you of more deadly animals? Or was he letting you know that he shot the bear and wanted to offer you some of the meat?

    • Lumberjill says:

      Nope. He was warning me of tree killing moths that are going to be executed this week.
      He is turning out to be a bit of a kill joy.

  11. Marla says:

    There is no pee on my potty, but only because I only have one large man living here and he’s barely allowed in my bathroom. The other day I yelled at him because he left the seat up though. 🙂

  12. Vicki B says:

    My tip is this lady has a few good tips. http://www.flylady.net/pages/FlyBaby_HS.asp
    You know those big folder things with elastic band that goes around them for big art work? I put my kids art papers in those. One for each kid. You have an Ikea? They have a great piece Expedit that hold lots with baskets in each cube. They can even lay down long ways for kid friendly height. http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/categories/departments/living_room/10382/

  13. It’s too late for a lengthy comment tonight, but I’ll be back tomorrow with all sorts of useless input. 😉

  14. Whoops – just realised I cut and paste the same link twice! This was supposed to be the second one …

    http://homeeducationyouhavegottobekidding.blogspot.com/2011/04/off-days-and-banoffee-pie.html

    Pregnant AND blonde = bad combination.

    • Lumberjill says:

      Marla-you shall have your day eventually, I’m sure 🙂
      Vicki-Yes, I have heard of her. Perhaps I should pay attention to her! (flylady)
      Melissa-yes! Come back!
      Allison-thanks for sharing your links!

  15. Debra says:

    One day when my girls were little they kept banging on the front door to get in about 50 million times and I kept having to go down a flight of stairs to the door every time to open the door for them. On the 51millionth time I just opened the window and hollered ‘what do you waaaaant!’ Oops, it was a couple of Mormon boys this time. I was so embarrassed!!! That endeth my yelling. For that day. HOLLA! 🙂

  16. Felicity says:

    I’m quite a new follower to your blog. I got tired of planning school so I bought a curriculum where all the planning had been done for me! I’m still trying to work out how well it works for our family…. I have a random box in a cupboard that I put all kiddy-art in. I’ll worry about looking into it when it’s full!
    I keep losing all my scissors too…
    And I yelled at my kids today because they were all (all 6 of them) talking to me at once!!
    You’re definitely not alone.

  17. Kristy says:

    I always try to start my day out very calm and tell myself that I won’t yell at the kids and that it is going to be a wonderful day. Then it is like 10am and someone just colored on the carpet or cut lots and lots of tiny pieces of paper under my kitchen table with scissors they aren’t supposed to have. And then they are fighting and arguing and whining and I just can’t take it anymore and they just can’t seem to hear my normal voice so the I yell. And then I feel like a horrible mother for yelling at them. So they get lots of cuddle time and I get nothing done. And then we all go to bed and do it over again the next day. Glad to know I am not the only one who loses it sometimes!

    And sorry, I have absolutely no homeschooling advice. But to stop the pee-pee on the seat, maybe just let them pee outside. That is the way we do it here in Tennessee. My 3 year old thinks he just HAS to pee off the back porch every morning. I have his Daddy to thank for that.

    • Lu Lu says:

      Oh, Kristy your post makes me giggle. Hubs thinks that he can just pee off the back deck too. Aaaannnddd is teaching our grandson, “that is how the big boys do it”. However, daughter in law isn’t laughing too much.

  18. My solution for not losing it yesterday with my oldest (sweet toddler but oh so frustrating when I assumed he hid my wallet b/c he is in a “hiding” phase right now) was texting my mom. It said “I really want to yell and cuss, but I haven’t yet.” Surprisingly, it worked.

    • Lumberjill says:

      Debra-thanks for sharing 🙂
      Felicity-nice to meet you-thanks for reading!
      Kristy-it is too cold 3/4ths of the year for us to encourage the outside urination
      LuLu-ha!
      Amanda-texting! Now there’s an idea!

  19. Stephanie says:

    Sadly, I have no advice… I lose my patience more often than I care to admit… such is life! In my defense, I have an EXTREMELY stubborn and strong willed child who REFUSES to go to bed until 10pm every night despite my most valiant efforts AND my youngest son INSISTS on waking up every morning at 4:30AM!!! Yay!!!
    Anyhow, I have been reading your blog for quite some time (apologies for not commenting until now 🙂 and I think you should write a BOOK!!! You know, in your spare time 🙂
    Seriously though, you should write a book…

  20. Katie Brn says:

    I yelled in the van because my 2 year old has just grasped the magic of words and thinks that just by saying “Teet” (try not to giggle . . .) a TREAT will magically appear. So for 30 minutes she became more desperate and began to cry because Mommy kept offering grapes and blueberries to snack on instead of something made of chocolate. It all ended with Mommy yelling “THERE ARE NOOOOOO TREATS IN THE VAN! I CANNOT GIVE YOU ANY TREATS BECAUSE THERE ARE NONE!” I think we were all crying by the end of that trip.
    And now that I’ve established that I am not entirely sane . . .
    I think you need some retail therapy. Time to head to town to browse all the delightful sale bins of cheap school stuff. Target had bins and baskets in tons of shapes that can be used to organize the kids stuff. You could probably use the cheap silverware organizers so that each kid can have their own items to keep/lose. My mom used to have a crappy old muffin tin so that we could melt all the old broken crayons together into one of those big multi color crayons. And did you want busy work for the kids while you do one on ones? Educational puzzles? (ABCs/Maps) Flashcards? Target has tons of little flashcard set in their dollar section too! And we used to punch holes in our papers to keep them in binders. The golden rule is if the paper doesn’t make it to the binder, it will be put in the trash.
    And I could write forever, but I had better stop for now.

  21. Debra D. says:

    Yeah, I guess I would qualify as a life-time member of Yellers Anon! My kids are 24 and 19 and I still yell sometimes to get their attention. The good news is by that age there is no longer any peepee on the toilet seat. However, even after 30 years of marriage, my sweet hubby STILL leaves the seat up. Every. Single. Time. Makes for a rude awakening during that early morning trip to the bathroom.

    And it sounds like YOU are the one that is suffering after Little Dudes consumption of 7 string cheeses at once. I knew we would read more about that gastrenomical adventure! Holla, Taylor!

  22. i had that happen once…we had just moved into town after living out in the country for years (where no one could hear me when i threatened my children’s lives a the top of my lungs….)

    …..i had just threatened to throttle them both at about 100,999,999,999 decibals, i had broken out in a cold sweat, was beet red with smoke rolling out my ears when i hear someone knocking at my door….i was so embarassed when i answered the door….as i recall it was my pastor’s wife…talk about wanting to crawl uner a rock and die…

    she never said anything about it, but has mentioned how well behaved my children are… ?????

  23. Jill says:

    There is no pee on my toilet seat because I do not allow the boys to use my bathroom. I use A.C.E. for homeschooling, so it’s pretty easy–no lesson planning. Every kid has all his subjects in one binder. I store their scorekeys and tests in three-ring binders that I keep in a tote so that it’s ready to go when they go to work with me. I also keep a ziploc with other needed items and a pencil pouch with pens and pencils. Each kid keeps notebook paper in his primary binder so he has it when needed.

    This curriculum also works because the kids work through their booklets and there’s less one-on-one time you have to spend with each child while the rest are emptying out your kitchen cabinets.

    In the interest of total honesty, I should mention that the school tote does need to be cleaned out frequently because it collects all sorts of non-school stuff. And my boys are too big now to do a lot of artwork, but when they were all turning in multiple pages, I thanked them and then tossed it into an inconspicuous garbage can later. Yes, I’m one of those moms. : )

  24. Angela Fehr says:

    After my determined-to-stick-with-the-instructor’s-guide start last year, which had me completely HATING the first two weeks of school, I’ve learned that the best homeschooling plan for me is to follow my instincts.
    For actual organizing stuff, I have a plastic tote for each of the kids with their current schoolwork kept inside. They carry those babies to wherever they are working and go through the tasks one by one. I know some people have a separate bin for each subject but in our house that would be like twenty-seven bins and who has room for that?

  25. Dee in BC says:

    I work full time outside the home- complete with 12 hour shifts. Hubby feels it is essential I work full time outside the home. Hubby therefore has “inherited” some of the household duties accordingly. You don’t want to cook ? You & the kids are gonna get awfully hungry! Tonight dinner is supposed to be perogies, sausage & frozen vegetables ( hubs will cook the veg first – I hope) I don’t homeschool- it’s enough fun trying to get homework organised with my crazy work schedule. You have my sympathy. My boys are a bit older, 11 & almost 7, & I only have 2- they learned that If I’m home- I’ll know who used the bathroom -the wonders of a small, 1 bathroom house! If you piddle on the seat or forget to flush I’ll know & you’ll get to go & fix the problem- If I’m not home & they are at daycare , daycare can/will deal with it. If they’re home with hubby the house will look like a war zone and will take all my “days off” to bring it back to a livable standard. My kids sometimes don’t seem to listen either – I yell too! Then they usually smarten up for a while ( or I take away the snacks/ TV priveledges / toy or whatever is causing the issue) or I yell! _ Dee

  26. Leah says:

    Do I have to make dinner tonight? I don’t have any home school advice, I work outside of the home and my daughter goes to a charter school. Our adult scissors are hidden on top of the fridge. I have no organizational tools either to offer. Wow I am a lot of help and inspiration.

  27. JoAnn says:

    On the same day you wrote this, Shel went “pee pee” on the grass, except it was “poo poo” and then the dog started eating it as I raced trying to clean it up, My three year old deliberately told me a LIE about fifteen times before I forced him to confess (that made me cry). Later I was told, “Momma, you’re a BAD AGENT”. The kids would NOT STOP FIGHTING and pinching, and hitting, and pushing, and taking each other’s toys. I can’t get poop stain out of my baby’s “miracle blanket”, which was lent to me. My house is dirty. I refused to push my kids in their swings. I screetched multiple times. I said, “IF YOU GUYS DON”T BE QUIET AND TAKE A NAP I AM GOING TO TAKE AWAY ALL OF YOUR TOYS”
    and when my son pulled out my succulent garden, I heartlessly told him, “You killed it” Because I was soooooo mad.
    And then I hoped he would feel guilty. Instead, he told me, “They’re pretty tough though mom” Grrrrrr.
    Your terrible day is an encouragement to me. Sometimes I think I’m the only mom who loses her temper. Then I feel very, very guilty.

  28. JoAnn says:

    p.s. my entire bathroom floor is probably covered in pee pee right now. I care not. I have a baby and I’m potty training my 2 year old.

  29. Deb says:

    When I am teaching one child, my other child is determined to drive me insane. They seem to have worked out some kind of tag-team approach.

    I plan my lessons in Excel, days of the week down the left and subjects across the top. I can get two weeks on one page (one week in the top half of the page, the other week in the bottom half, with a little room for notes). I have planned months and months in the past, but became discouraged because we never stuck to the schedule. Now I plan about 6 weeks at a time. I plan right down to which pages we will do, because I am ocd like that.

    For all that stupid, I mean PRECIOUS paper, I bought one of those plastic drawer chests at Target. Each kid gets a drawer to store their crap, I mean SPECIAL stuff. When it’s full, they have to throw stuff out or stop finding stuff to keep.

    For old crayons, last week I bought a silicone mold thingy in the candy aisle at Hobby Lobby. First, take off the paper of the crayons (an exacto knife helped), chop up all the crayons, put the pieces in the mold, and melt in the oven at 230 degrees for about 10-15 minutes. Ta Da! Now we have fairly unbreakable new crayons and one ruined cutting board. A very rewarding project.

    For dinner, I spend a week or two in a cooking frenzy, then pull meals out of the freezer for about 3 months. I can’t cook every night, it makes me stabby. Freezer cooking is the key to sanity.

    Homeschooling is hard. Recently I have found that staggering start times is helping a bit – I start with my youngest and when she has completed some work and needs a break (remember, about 15 minutes at a time is about all you can expect with little kids), I start up with the older one. Who knows how long this will work, as they plot endlessly behind my back to come up with new things to drive me nuts.

    Good luck!

    Also, keep that secret stash of cholocate stocked. It’s important.

  30. Emily says:

    I have no tips for you. I’m just starting my second year of homeschooling and only have one so far in school (but I do have trouble keeping the younger two occupied….). I just wanted to say that the whole granola bar thing – totally understand. And it irritates me to NO end. I step on little pieces of bar about 20 times a day. I hate it. I’m so glad I’m not the only one to lose my patience and yell at my kids (only once in a while, of course…) 😉

  31. Dawn says:

    L.O.L.! No, scratch that, I am ROLLING! On the floor!
    Subscribing to your blog RIGHT NOW.
    Oh, my advice?

    Dark CHOCOLATE. Extra dark. That helps the yelling a little bit. except for when you’re out. then there’s more yelling. lol.
    As far as organization goes, I have to use the kids’ scissors, b/c I can’t find mine. And we have all the bits of paper stuffed in one big box, ‘just in case.’ *sigh* I am working on implementing a workbox type of system for this upcoming schoolyear, and by implementing, I mean that I’m thinking about it right now, and if I’m lucky I will get my act together enough to label some boxes in time for the beginning of school, which is in *only 28 days* -ack!

    and don’t get me started on ‘pee pee’ on the toilet seat. Sometimes they miss and I STEP IN IT! why are the bottoms of my jammies wet? ewwww!

  32. Dawn says:

    Oh, and I am regularly told ‘you are the WORST mom EVER’ by my four year old. Where did he get that?!?

  33. The solution is to have one child, lol, worked for me. Guess its a little too late for that now though. He is now 21, married, in the Army, and fixing to be a dad, so really not my problem anymore lol. Dinner tonight was white beans, cornbread and fried potatoes.

  34. Amiee says:

    Even though I also homeschool, I have absolutely NO idea how to keep it all organized. Ha! Papers are my nightmare.

    I never yell. Just don’t ask my kids, they may or may not think differently 😉

    How I handle the whole “what-to-have-for-dinner” thing is just have a wide assortment of things on hand with which to make something. I am not a planner, and will often change my mind anyway if I try to plan. If the menu said “hamburgers” and instead I felt like having spaghetti, I would feel like a failure.

  35. Lani says:

    I like homeschool planning… it’s the time when I get to imagine my kids sitting quietly at their desks and learning, with smiles on their faces, while the little ones play quietly in the corner…. Don’t worry, I come back to reality very quickly as soon as school starts.

  36. Lisa Buchanan says:

    My 10 year old daughter does the Abeka streaming program and loves it. She’s totally self sufficient school-wise, yet in the safety, protection and love of our home. It’s a win win. My 9 and 8 year old boys stream Bible and Language arts from Abeka, my husband teaches them Abeka math and I do Sonlight history, science, and reading with them in the afternoons when my nappers are napping. For boys it seems like varying the voices, techniques, and styles helps. They like NOT school. (Except for Sonlight.) Too bad there isn’t baseball-language arts! This next year is going to be a bit more of a challenge because I’ll be teaching my 6 year-old kindergarten in the mornings while trying to “occupy” my 4 and 2 year old and 7 month old boy should be having his morning nap. Heaven help if he needs to nurse in the middle of school! That shall not happen. The Abeka program goes too fast for my 6 year old who I believe struggles with some dyslexia. I took him out of kindergarten last year. He’s also very relational and the sitting in front of a screen business wasn’t his best learning style. So, more labor intensive for me, but totally worth it. This year is going to be an experiment. I’m starting out with a serious job chart. Totally unrelated to school but crucial to my sanity! YEA for child labor! 🙂

  37. datenutloaf says:

    It makes me tired just reading all the tasks all you moms have to do everyday. I applaud you all. It’s tough, exhausting, relentless but you are doing the most important job there is – raising decent human beings and citizens. Good for you. Whatever it takes to cope, you deserve it all!! Don’t be so hard on yourselves.

  38. datenutloaf says:

    Wow! Lucky Nathalie!!

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