My Grandma Has Fake Teeth!

Every year, our local community college’s wrestling team comes to read to the first graders and give them books.

Me:  After library, some college wrestlers will be coming to read you some stories.

*students cheering/chaos ensues/Christmas!*

So I take the kiddos to library for my prep time and then I return to get them.  As we are walking back towards our classroom, we happened to be right behind the manly college wrestlers.

Student (looking at me with the BIGGEST BROWN EYES):  Mrs. M?  Are they wrestling me?  Or am I wrestling them?

Hahahaha.  Poor kid.

Me:  No, bud.  They are not wrestling.  They are reading.

***

My new little Australian chick makes my world go round with her sweet little accent.  She is also finding her voice in the classroom.

She was quite upset when someone threw away part of their perfectly good snack.

Student:  Teacher!  Someone put goldfish in the bin!  In the BIN, teacher!

Today in math, she was quite irritated with me when I had asked her to count by 3’s.

Student:  Teacher!  We do not do this in Australia!  We do not count by 3’s.  I cannot do this!

Me:  You can!  Just keep adding three!

Student:  But we do not DO THIS in Australia, Teacher!

She always calls me “Teacher.”  I fear she knoweth not my name.

***

During our morning meeting yesterday, I was discussing our Christmas week plans with my little angels.  We are opening gifts on THURSDAY because Mrs. M will not be at school on Friday.

Mrs. M is having surgery.

And would you like to know how many times I have been asked the following question:

“Mrs. M?  When are we opening the presents under the tree?”

As we were discussing the week’s festivities, I foolishly opened the meeting up to a lively round of questions and answers.  The first question, which you will notice is not a question at all-

Student:  My grandma has fake teeth!  And she can take them out!  THEY ARE CALLED DENTURES.

It felt a bit off topic, no?

***

Student walking into the classroom the other morning-and yes, I will use fictitious names.  Chill.

Nick:  Good morning, Everyone!  Oh, Hi, Laura!  I had a dream about you last night!  You were in my dream!  Isn’t that weird?  I don’t know why!

Laura (giggling):  That’s ok, Nick.  When I got on the bus this morning, the boy who normally sits by me was not there!  I think he was sick!

My students are so with it.

***

I started doing that darn Elf on the Shelf thing again.

FOR THE CHILDREN.

And now everytime I use the bathroom at school, I mutter to myself:

“I forgot to move that darn elf again.”

Like a normal person.

***

Here is the selfie David permitted us to take at his work Christmas party:

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Can we not all agree that this is the most jolly David has looked in years?

***

Kate bought a car tonight.  She is mucho excited.  Last night, she called the guy to arrange the deal and told the guy just how excited she was.

David was sorely disappointed in her:  Kate! You cannot let him know you want it so bad!

Kate:  But I DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.  I want itttttttttttttttttttttttt!

I had to send David to bed after that.  He was quite fussy with a fever.  And would he take a day off?

Nope.

Minutes after purchasing the car, Kate was texing David and Uncle Jason-

Remember Jason?

Remember Jason?

And asking them about how she could install “remote start.”

Me:  YOU DO NOT NEED REMOTE START.  YOU HAVE TWO BROTHERS.

And, also.  If I can’t afford remote start, neither can she.

***

Here’s a humorous photo I snapped of David leaving his work party with his new TV.

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Like a boss.

Happy Tuesday!

 

 

 

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One Response to My Grandma Has Fake Teeth!

  1. Ruth says:

    I think…..but am not sure….that David has the beginnings of a smile but his cheek muscles are very strong and holding it in. Yes. I think I see that.
    Aren’t young children such random thinkers? What they are saying could be totally appropriate if we had time to review the entire situation. The girl who showed up in someone’s dream knew she wasn’t really there, and so she talked about a kid normally on her bus that wasn’t there that day.
    Counting by three’s – Is this the moment where the teacher says, “And that is why you are in school, to learn how to do things you haven’t done before.”?
    Kate bought a car? So will she pay for gas, upkeep and insurance also? (Which would mean that she wouldn’t have $$ left over for “remote start.” But then she could start charging others for giving rides. Hmm. Except family of course, because she isn’t paying rent.)

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