The Lumberjack's Wife

 

 

Today is Easter Sunday.

Today we will be going to church and spending time with our families.

But mostly, we will be thanking God for the wonderful gift of eternal life that He gave us.

^“He is not here; he has risen!”

Luke 24:6

 

Oh, how He loves you and me,

Oh, how He loves you and me.

He gave His life, what more could He give;

Oh, how He loves you, Oh, how He loves me,

Oh, how He loves you and me.

Jesus to Calvary did go,

His love for mankind to show.

What He did there brought hope from despair.

Oh, how He loves you, Oh, how He loves me,

Oh how He loves you and me.

(Oh, How He Loves You and Me written by Kurt Kaiser)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rgm2pQScipw]

Do you know Him?

I hope you do.

 

” I remember my affliction and my wandering,
       the bitterness and the gall.

 I well remember them,
       and my soul is downcast within me.

  Yet this I call to mind
       and therefore I have hope:

  Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
       for his compassions never fail.

  They are new every morning;
       great is your faithfulness.

  I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
       therefore I will wait for him.”

  The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
       to the one who seeks him.”

Lamentations 3: 19-25

Have a wonderful Easter Sunday!

 

Organization.

*sigh*

This is something I need more of in my life.

I do have a few ideas that have made life simpler.

And I will share them with you in this exciting, and equally informative, 3-point post.

You’re welcome.

1)  Closets.

We live in a fairly small house . . . about 1400 square feet.

And it can definitely seem . . .

crowded.

And there have been times, as few as they might be, where I might even say our house gets

chaotic.

So . . . we don’t have a lot of storage space in our tiny house.

I have been learning how to make the most of our small areas.

My favorite is the way we did the boys’ closet:

Little Dude’s clothes on the top.

Handsome Dude’s clothes on the bottom.

Interruption:  Can we all have a moment of applause for my handsome Lumberjack who built not only that closet, but our entire house?

I believe in miracles . . . since you came along . . .

You sexy thing.

(Name that artist)

Since my main man built my house for me, I got to inform him of the way things ought to be.

And since I feel that children ought to be able to put their own clothes away, I implored him to put their closet rods within their reach:

Like so.

Attention all mothers:  This may backfire on you once your children decide they should start dressing themselves.

This will especially backfire on you if you have a hard time biting your tongue when your child look ridiculous.

Try not to crush your child’s spirit (not that I have) when they come parading down the stairs wearing socks with sandals.

Fact:  Socks with sandals goes against everything I believe in.

Another closet-y trick I have is to keep a spare dresser or a big Rubbermaid tub in the closet to store out of season clothes.

2)  Children’s Artwork.

Raise your hand if you have a lot of these:

Can we not all agree that they produce a lot papers?

Which ones do you keep?

Which ones do you toss?

Where do you store the ones you keep?

Well, I haven’t gotten all that figured out yet, but I did purchase this box:

And for now, I am just tossing cute things into this box.

And look at this early picture from my dear Sweet Pea . . .

Poor Sweet Pea has had to wear glasses since she was 2.

Even her princesses wore glasses.

I couldn’t find anything to show you, but would you all like to hear something cute that Daisy Mae used to do?

Daisy Mae’s factual name starts with a “H.”

*gasp!*

 That was top-secret information I just gave you there.

Let’s keep it on the down-low, 10-4 good buddies.

Any-who . . .

She used to sign all her artwork:

“HO.”

We used to love our artwork by Ho.

And while I am off-topic, I will share with you something else Daisy Mae used to do.

She could not pronounce the “k” or “C” sounds, but would instead substitute them with the “t” sound.

Cookies=tookies

Cat=tat

And so on.

Well, one day The Lumberjack told her that is she couldn’t leave her kitty out anymore or she was in trouble.

So, later that night, Daisy Mae shares this with my sister.

(Psst . . . that’s Daisy Mae and my sister)

Now, you will have to substitute a “t” sound for all “k” sounds as I am too embarrassed to write out specifically what she said.

“Meagan!  Daddy says that if he ever sees my kitty out again, I am in trouble.”

It was a proud parenting moment.

Goodness.

Where was I?

Oh, yes.

Informing you all of how organized I am.

3)  Husbandly Clutter

Oh.

My.

Gosh.

Becky.

(Name that song)

My husband has a lot of stuff.

And he throws said stuff in my laundry room.

What’s worse is he takes up all of my cabinet space in aforementioned laundry room.

Now, what would you think should be in a laundry room cabinet?

Stain removal?

Detergent?

Bleach?

No.

No, no, no, my dear readers.

Let’s take a peek, shall we?

(cue theme music from the movie “Psycho”)

 Now, let’s take a deeper look.

Fishing nonsense.

Maps.

Walkie-talkies (camouflaged, of course, so as to trick the deer)

Interruption:  the rotting bananas are my problem, not the Lumberjack’s

Wait a minute . . .what’s that box . . .

Now that’s safe!

Nails, screws, special laundry soap (scentless, of course, as to trick the deer)

And I have saved the best for last.

I did not even know these were in there!

I can’t quite put my finger on it, but this snorkeling gear reminds me of someone . . .

hmmm . . .

who was it??

Oh, yes!

Jason!

Remember Jason?

So . . . what’s a girl to do when her husband has too much stuff that she does not understand, nor know what to do with?

She decides that for the sake of preserving her marriage, she will just buy a large basket, stick it on top of her washing machine

and pile in the things that belong in the laundry room inside of it.

Yes.

Baskets are our friends.

I use them everywhere.

Alright.

That concludes today’s helpful and informative post.

Please tell me how you stay organized.

Do you have a cleaning schedule?

Do you have an organized junk drawer?

Do you have dynamite in your laundry room?

Please.

Share your ideas with me.

Because clearly . . .

I need all the help I can get.

(Raise your hand if you are super impressed that I used the word “sundry”.)

Alright, people!

Hold on to your pants!

We’ve got a lot of ground to cover.

Sundry Topic #1

Sweet Pea and Daisy Mae have signed up for soccer.

This is our first year venturing out into the wonderful world of kids’ sports.

Two different practices each week.

Two different games each week.

Two different dudes to chase around and keep off the playing field . . .

The Lumberjack and I could not be more thrilled.

We can’t wait!

And when I say we, I mean I, because that hunky husband of mine will probably not be done being an electrician in time to assist his lovely wife at aforementioned soccer festivities.

Silly Lumberjack, who is not a lumberjack at all, but is, in fact, an electrician.

What does he think he needs to do?

Pay the bills?

Whatever.

Any-who . . .

We got the girls’ first practices scheduled and the Lumberjack informed them that they were clearly too out of shape to be playing any sport.

So, he decided he would be their personal trainer.

Would you like to know why I find this humorous?

Good.

I’ll tell you.

Because my husband does not work out.

Ever.

Sure, he burns a calorie here and there . . .

But you would not see this guy at the gym.

He did go through a fitness phase back in February of 2008.

He read the book of one Cameron Haynes.

5 million (meaningless) points to anyone who knows what Cameron Haynes is famous for.

Cameron Haynes made him feel like a weakling.

So, the Lumberjack bought an elliptical trainer in hopes that by September-ish he, too, could be as awesome as Mr. Haynes.

And, in the spirit of fitness, the Lumberjack and I decided to forgo getting each other Valentine’s Day presents and instead got matching Nike sneakers.

Isn’t that cute?

For about 2 weeks, we were exercising every night.

That Cameron Haynes was about to meet his match.

And then it stopped.

The Lumberjack no longer had the desire to workout.

So, our elliptical trainer sits in our living room.

It is a lovely piece of accent furniture.

Sure, I pretend to use it.

Just like I pretend that I am still doing the 30 day shred.

The Lumberjack’s fitness moods certainly don’t last long.

But after a 2 year break from his fitness plans, he is back and ready for action.

And he has two lovely ladies joining him on his quest.

And one Handsome Dude who thinks he gets to go, too.

And one Little Dude who wishes his mother would put some pants on him so he could join as well.

The boys did not get to go.

They had to stay home with me.

They did not, I repeat, did not take this news well.

So, for two nights in a row now, the Lumberjack has been running when he gets home from work.

I told him that if I don’t have time to exercise, he certainly doesn’t.

He didn’t seem to understand my logic.

I wonder how long this fitness routine will last?

He better not lose his spare tire before I do.

Sundry Topic #2

Handsome Dude has not lost or broken his glasses for over 2 weeks.

Sundry Topic #3

I don’t know if I am using the word “sundry” correctly, but we are all just gonna go with it.

Sundry Topic #4

My house is still not finished.

Particularly my laundry room.

And I have a personal rule to not show any photos, or take any photos, of this hideous room.

I mean, what would you think of me?

But the Lumberjack, in all his new-camera excitement, snapped some pictures of the dudes in that hideous room.

Clearly the Lumberjack is not aware of my “let’s not notice how gross the laundry room is and pretend it does not exist” rule when it comes to photography.

But, I have to admit, the boys look pretty cute.

Check out Little Dude.

Apparently, Handsome Dude is really, super hilarious.

Sundry Topic #5

The Lumberjack and his new, not-so-cheap, camera.

In yesterday’s post, we discussed the fact that my main man has bought himself a new camera.

And he is having a grand time taking pictures “for the people.”

Pictures like me cleaning a toilet:

Ooooh . . . . exciting!

And, a picture of me blogging, which I hardly ever do:

And, since the “people” (meaning you) love it soooo much, here is one of me getting something out of the fridge.

Fascinating!

That Lumberjack sure nows how to capture a moment, doesn’t he?

So . . . why did he buy himself a new camera?

The answer is:  Why not?

He had many reasons.

1)  He doesn’t like our other one.

2)  Our other one is too big.

3)  He needs a camera with a high optical zoom so he can see large game from far, far away.

4)  He may or may not kill those animals that he finds.

5)  He would need to take a photo with him and the newly-dead animal.

6)  He is certain that when he goes hunting, I would want to keep the camera at home, so he needs his own.

I knew he was going to buy one.

He has been looking.

And when he starts looking . . . a big purchase is coming.

And, if history proves itself to be true, we will be the proud owners of a new truck sometime soon.

Sundry Topic #6

I have decided my blog is pointless.

 

Oh, well.

Happy Thursday!

 

 

 

We have some very important issues to discuss.

1)  No one correctly guessed the movie in yesterday’s post.

This has completely and utterly devastated me.

So much so that I will give you all another chance.

“Baby Steps get out of the chair . . . baby steps out the door . . . baby steps down the hall . . . “

And, because I am da bomb, I will give you one more clue:

“I’m a sailer!  I sail!  AHOY!”

So hilarious.

2)  Guess who is having a bimbaby?

Bimlissa!

Bimlissa is having a baby!

She is due around October-ish!

3)  Why did I have my super-cool pal, Sarah, hold up this shirt?

Well, of course because Dwight wore one just like it in an Office episode.

Would you like to hear a little tale about wolf shirts?

When The Lumberjack and I were on the plane to Cancun, the airline showed some movies and tv shows.

You know.

For our viewing enjoyment.

And one such enjoyable viewing was The Office Wedding Episode.

So, The Lumberjack and I don our headphones so that we can watch this humorous program.

Now, not everyone on the plane is watching this show.

And every time I start giggling and laughing, The Lumberjack nudges me and reminds me that I look like an idiot because it looks like I am just sitting in my seat laughing.

Lumberjacks are really concerned with image.

So, we are at the scene where Dwight comes out wearing the wolf shirt.

And I just can’t contain myself any longer.

LJ (short for Lumberjack-keep up, people!):  SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Me:  *giggle*

LJ:  Stop!

Me:  But look at Dwight’s shirt!

LJ:  Shhhhh!

Me:  He looks like Jason!

LJ:  Huh?

Me:  Remember?  Jason’s wolf shirt?

LJ: Oh, yeah!  Haha!

Me: *giggle*

LJ:  Shhhhh!

Yes, dear readers.

Jason has a wolf shirt.

And, quite honestly, he rocks it.

Remember Jason?

Rock on, Jason.

Rock on.

Dear Jason,

Next time you wear your wolf shirt, I might be snapping a picture and I may or may not be putting it in my blog.

I cannot be certain.

But I probably will.

Yours fondly,

Taylor

4)  Comment of the Week time!

This week goes to my dear friend Mindy, who has been a faithful supporter and commenter on my blog since just about the beginning.

She is commenting on my latest Not Me! post and, frankly, her comment was better than any Not Me!  post I have ever attempted.

Mindy.

You nailed it.

Start a blog.

The world needs you.

“I did not get into a swimsuit that my body is terribly unready for and swim in a pool. I did not turn my head away every time there was splashing so my face didn’t get wet, and I did not leave my family in the pool and decide I’d rather hang out in the hot tub. That would be a little sad.

I also did not leave my house in a wreck that looked like a tornado went through it, and then have someone want to come look at the house. I mean, not me. My house is always perfect. Thank goodness we didn’t have to kill ourselves for two hours cleaning the house before we could show the house. That would have been exhausting for a lazy Sunday afternoon.”

Nice job, Mindy.

Nice job.

Everyone say hi to Mindy!

She doesn’t have a blog.

(Boo, Mindy.  Boo)

So, you can’t really go say hi.

Instead, just shout, “Hi, Mindy!” at your computer.

That will suffice.

5)  I would like everyone to know that The Lumberjack just walked by, looked at the title of this post, and shouted,

“What?!  You have baby fever?  Goodness, Taylor.  Isn’t 4 enough?”

Oh, that was fun to do to him.

And that will segway me into my next point.

6)  Baby fever.

I’ve got a fever . . . and the only prescription is more cowbell.

(Name that actor)

So . . . guess who became a big sister this week?

My niece, Little Miss!

Yes.

The Lumberjack’s sister, Lisa,  had a little girl on Wednesday.

Which also happened to be Daisy Mae’s birthday!

I have not yet come up with her super cool blog code name.

I welcome your suggestions.

Sisters . . .sisters . . . there were never such devoted sisters . . .

(Name that movie)

(That was for you, Mindy-Lou)

And here I am.

Holding a baby.

A cute, tiny, cuddly baby.

And bonus!

I did not have to birth her!

Win-win!

So . . .about the Baby Fever.

I don’t really want more kids.

But I do sometimes get sad when I realize I won’t have a baby again.

And I start to ponder the things about babies and pregnancy I like.

Then I start to get sad for things that will never be.

So, to help me get cure my Baby Fever, I have created a list of horrible things that occur during pregnancy/baby stage.

And I remind myself of these things when the fever is coming on.

Here is my list:

1)  Worry.  I worry from the moment I find out I am pregnant to the moment I hear the first heartbeat to the time I see the first ultrasound to the time the baby is born.

Then I worry about all the things that could go wrong.

And, well, basically, I worry the whole time.

2)  1st Trimester yuckiness.

3)  That stage where you don’t look pregnant, but you certainly don’t look trim.

And people stare at your stomach.

And you know they want to ask if you are pregnant.

But they can’t tell what is going on with your belly.

Is she pregnant?

Is she fat?

Does she just need to do some sit-ups?

Did she eat a big lunch?

4)  Maternity pants.

Specifically, panels.

More specifically, the fact that by the time I climb a flight of stairs, my pants have nearly fallen off.

5)  Heartburn

6) Hemorrhoids (not that I got them)

7)  Stretchmarks (I ain’t gonna lie.  I got them)

8 )  Heart Murmurs

9)  Hearing the doctor say, “Let’s check you!”

Oh, the invasion of privacy.

10)  Getting on the scale.

Having the nurse “guess” which 50 pound group on the scale you are in.

Hearing nurse say, “Oh, wow!  You are heavier than you look!”

Hearing the dreadful “clunk” when she graduates you to a new 50 pound weight class.

Oh, the horror.

11)  Hearing doctor say, “You didn’t gain much this month, but I am not worried since you were so overweight to begin with.”

True story.

So sad.

12)  Thinking you are really close when you hit 36 weeks, and then as each day drags on, you realize you are not close at all.

13)  Going 9 days overdue.

14)  Childbirth in general.

It’s a drag, folks.

A real bummer.

15)  Not being able to count on just one hand the number of people who have seen you indecent.

16)  The afterbirth.

Attention men:  I should have warned you earlier.  This might not be the post for you.  Sorry about that.  Come back another day.

17)  Post-Partum Maxi Pads.

Yeah.

You know the ones.

Brings a whole new meaning to the expression, “From Horn to Hoof”

18)  Breastfeeding.

I know.

For some of you crazies, this was a perk.

Not so for me.

I  loathed breastfeeding.

19)  Again, hemorrhoids.

Again, not that I know about such things.

20)  Having someone ask you when you baby is due when you have your week-old baby in a car seat right next to you.

21)  Wearing maternity clothes for weeks on end after baby is born.

22)  Varicose Veins.

23)  Being excited when you sleep 4 hours straight at night.

24)  Still wearing maternity clothes.

25)  Still breastfeeding.

26)  Still loathing breastfeeding.

27)  Chasing around other children while breastfeeding.

28)  Getting procedure to remove varicose veins.

Yes!

Those are my legs!

No!

You can’t borrow my medical compression stockings.

Get your own.

29)  Having someone ask you when your baby is due when you have your 6 week old baby in the car seat next to you.

30)  Trying to fold your stomach into your old jeans.

Not that I had to do that.

Alright.

That’s all I can think of for now.

Feel free to add to my list.

Happy Weekend!