Unprotected Left Turns

Posted on March 30, 2010 by Taylor

Hello, all!

Welcome to another exciting edition of:

Questions.

And Their Answers. 

Do you freak out when your son pees on your major appliances?

Yes.

Yes, I do.

Why do I freak out?

Because having someone pee on your washing machine is just nasty-wrong.

What is one thing you wish you were better at?

Sewing.

I loathe sewing.

My lovely sister-in-law, Lisa, tried to give me lessons once.

You see, my girls started in the Awanas program.

And darn my luck, they progressed in the program and were awarded badges.

Horrible, awful, thick, tiny badges that must be sewn onto their vests.

I didn’t want to admit to my sister-in-law that I completely forgot one vital part of her lesson:

How to Thread a Needle.

I could not admit this to her.

So, one day, when I was behind about 8 patches, I was determined to figure this out on my own.

So I Googled:

“How to Thread a Needle.”

And I found a helpful instructional video!

The Internet.

So helpful.

So, there I am.

Sitting with needle and thread.

I must pause this helpful and informative video many, many, many times, as I cannot get it right.

The stupid thread is too big to go through the stupid holey thing.

I kid you not, I do this for 45 minutes.

Finally, I thread the needle.

I sit back and let the helpful video finish.

At the very end, the guy holds up a curious little trinket and says,

“Or you could just use this.”

Hello?

Sewing Dude?

Information that would have been useful at the beginning of your helpful instructional video.

*sigh*

Want to know something sad?

The Lumberjack gives his sister all his mending.

I.

Am.

A.

Shamed.

Mommy! 

Why didn’t you teach me how to sew?

Oh the humanity.

Do you cook every night?  Do you like it?  Do you have a signature dish?

Yes, I cook every night.

I do like it.

I would like it more if I didn’t have to rear 4 children while cooking.

Signature dish?

Probably Chicken Stir Fry.

It is my Lumberjack’s Favorite.

That and Chicken Piccata

Other family favorites are:
Pizza (I use PW crust), Lasagna (from PW), Taco Salad, Mini Meatloaves, and Chicken Burritos.

Interruption:  PW=www.thepioneerwoman.com

Please note that my Lumberjack’s two favorite dishes involve chicken in some way.

For those of you who are new-ish to my blog, you may not know that my handsome husband bought us one whole entire cow (or steer,  for the technical reader, such as MindyLou).

So, I started cooking beef.

Seems logical right?

And now, gentle readers, I would like to present to you:

A Conversation Between The Lumberjack and I About 3 Weeks After He Purchased Aforementioned Cow:

LJ (short for Lumberjack!  Focus, people!):  What’s for dinner?

Me:  Beef roast.

LJ:  Hmmm . . . you sure have been cooking a lot of beef lately.

Me:  Seriously?

LJ:  What?!

Me:  Dude.  You bought a whole animal.  You helped to end its life.  You assisted with driving the remains to the butcher shop.  You picked up the packaged animal.  You loaded in our freezer.  You told me how much you spent.  I gasped.  You told me I would save all year on the grocery budget because I would not have to buy meat.  What do you want from me?

LJ:  Well, I didn’t mean you had to cook beef every night.

So, I bought some chicken, cooked him his favorite stir-fry, and all was right with the world again.

Whatever, Lumberjack.

Whatever.

Fact:  Daisy Mae recently informed me that I make the best homemade salad.

So, there you go.

I am a culinary genius.

You are having a bad day.  Who do you talk to?

Hmmm . . . .

Well, that depends on the situation that has arisen to cause my bad day.

But, I generally talk to the following people, depending on the circumstances:

Amanda:

Amanda gets me.

Fact:  Amanda has known me since kindergarten.

Fact:  Amanda gives it to me straight.

Fact:  Amanda also has 4 kids.  She can identify with my woes.

Amanda and I have an unspoken agreement.

Whenever one of us is pregnant, which seems to happen often, we always call each other first.

And the conversation usually goes like this:

Unpregnant one:  Hey!

Just-found-out-she’s pregnant one: Hey.

Unpregnant one:  What’s up?

Just-found-out-she’s pregnant one:  Well  . . . um

Unpregnant one:  Oh, dear.  Pregnant again?

Just-found-out-she’s pregnant one:  Yup.

Unpregnant one:  Let us pray.

 

Melissa, aka Bimlissa

We have girls the same age.

We share recipes, clothes, and lots of inside jokes.

She even gave me her Perfect Black Sweater that Even Has Ruffles.

Just because I liked it.

And since she got me started on the whole blog thing, she gets to listen to all my questions/concerns/paranoia regarding said blog.

She loves it.

My Mom.

mom and me

I can talk to her about anything . . . except things that would involve phrases such as, “wink, wink.”

Mom!  My kids are ruffians!

Mom!  How do you seperate eggs?

Mom!  What is the difference between gross and net on a paycheck?

Mom!  Why do I still have acne?

Mom!  Why didn’t you teach me how to sew?

And, finally, if I am feeling really desperate, I talk to this stud-muffin:

IMG_3023

I kid!

I jest!

I talk to him the most.

 

What is your quirkiest habit and how long have you had it?

I refuse to make unprotected left turns.

I literally plan out my driving routes to ensure that, if the need for a left turn arises, I will be making said turn at a helpful,and safer, traffic light.

How long have I done this?

Ever since my driving instructor informed me of the dangers of unprotected left turns and scared the living daylights out of me.

Why anyone would want to avoid a traffic light is beyong me.

You know that old lady who drives 58 mph on the freeway and starts signaling for her exit 2 miles in advance?

I want to be her when I grow up.

 

Happy Tuesday!

Posted in Questions and Their Answers | 28 Comments

Not me! Birthdays, Brownies, and Baby Fever Edition.

Posted on March 29, 2010 by Taylor

I did not get baby fever this weekend.

No.

Not me.

(Interruption:  Could we all just pause for a moment of awe and wonder while we recognize the fact that I figured out how to A) crop a photo and B) figured out how to make it black and white?)

(Thank you.)

I did not secretly want to run off with my tiny niece and have her all to myself.

No.

I would not wish such things.

Especially after I posted a whole list of reasons why I should not have a baby on the very same day I was holding my sweet niece.

But, seriously.

Look at this baby.

 

Oh.

Be.

Still.

My.

Heart.

I did not decide that I needed another baby based simply on the fact that this baby looks precisely like my babies looked as newborns.

Meet Alex and Holly.

This is not how they reacted when someone teased them about someday having kids.

Poor Holly.

She is still getting used to us.

Jason.

Remember Jason?

(Interruption:  No.  I am not posting that picture of Jason too often.)

Jason did not turn super beat red when my mother loudly announced when he walked in the door:

“Jason!  I am not used to seeing you with your shirt on!”

I did not inform my mother that her comment sounded mildly inappropriate as the majority of adults in the room have never read my blog.

My mother did not get a little embarrassed.

Jason did not miss his sweet-honey, Amy, who lives too many hours away for his lonely heart.

No.

Not him.

He always sits all by himself real quiet-like on the stairs at family gatherings.

Interruption:  I did not forget to put away a roll of paper towels amidst my pre-party pretend-cleaning frenzy.

The Birthday Boy.

He did not get super excited the moment he opened his new, huge truck that Uncle Alex picked out for him.

He did not refuse to come back to the party and finish opening his gifts.

I did not make him come and finish opening presents.

And, I most certainly did not force him to try on his super cute new shark hooded towel.

And would you all like to know what my son, my darling child, did not do?

He did not scream in fury:

“No!  I DON’T LIKE IT!”

Now, isn’t that precious?

Interruption:  Please locate Jason in the above picture.  He is standing, on the left side.

I will bet you all one whole dollar the he is either:

A)  Sending a text to sweet-honey Amy

or

B) Receiving a text from sweet-honey Amy

Over and out.

Sweet Daisy Mae.

She did not interrupt her birthday song 8 times to  inform all other kids in attendance that she, and only she would be blowing out the candles.

Back to Handsome Dude.

I did not realize a little too late that M&M’s would bleed onto whipped cream.

*gasp*

I did not just give away the first initial of Handsome Dude’s name.

I have not been attacking this cake in the fridge with a fork every hour.

I do not really like this cake at all.

So much so, that I am not going to share the recipe with you.

Strawberry Brownie Torte

1)  Preheat oven to 350.

Line a 16 1/2 x 11 1/2x 1 inch jelly toll pan with waxed paper.

Spray with veg. oil spray and dust with flour, shake out excess.

2)  In a large mixing bowl, stir together one brownie mix, 1/2c oil, 1/4c water, and 3 eggs. 

(I added chocolate chips.  Because I do not really like chocolate)

Spread into prepared pan and place in oven.

3)  Bake 15-20 minutes. Remove and let cool completely.

I like to put the pan in the freezer for about 30 minutes.

4)  Sure.  You could be a goodie-goodie and make homemade whipped cream.

Not so for me.

I just pulled out a big ol’ tub of Cool Whip.

5)  Wash, slice, and dry 1 pint of strawberries.  Toss with 1 T sugar.

6)  To assemble:  Cut the brownies crosswise into 4 pieces.

Place on piece on bottom of serving platter.

Spread on some Cool Whip.

Then some strawberries.

Repeat until all layers done.

Normally, you don’t put whipped cream on the top.

I just needed to convert mine into a birthday cake, you see.

Also, you don’t need to stick gummy worms in the cake.

Or create a giant “C” on the top.

 

Any-who.

It is super yummy.

 Not that I would know.

Remember . . . I am on Weight Watchers . . . .

Or

Am

I?

Happy Monday!

What have you not done lately?!?!

Posted in Not Me! | 27 Comments

Baby Fever and Other Items At Hand

Posted on March 27, 2010 by Taylor

We have some very important issues to discuss.

1)  No one correctly guessed the movie in yesterday’s post.

This has completely and utterly devastated me.

So much so that I will give you all another chance.

“Baby Steps get out of the chair . . . baby steps out the door . . . baby steps down the hall . . . “

And, because I am da bomb, I will give you one more clue:

“I’m a sailer!  I sail!  AHOY!”

So hilarious.

2)  Guess who is having a bimbaby?

Bimlissa!

Bimlissa is having a baby!

She is due around October-ish!

3)  Why did I have my super-cool pal, Sarah, hold up this shirt?

Well, of course because Dwight wore one just like it in an Office episode.

Would you like to hear a little tale about wolf shirts?

When The Lumberjack and I were on the plane to Cancun, the airline showed some movies and tv shows.

You know.

For our viewing enjoyment.

And one such enjoyable viewing was The Office Wedding Episode.

So, The Lumberjack and I don our headphones so that we can watch this humorous program.

Now, not everyone on the plane is watching this show.

And every time I start giggling and laughing, The Lumberjack nudges me and reminds me that I look like an idiot because it looks like I am just sitting in my seat laughing.

Lumberjacks are really concerned with image.

So, we are at the scene where Dwight comes out wearing the wolf shirt.

And I just can’t contain myself any longer.

LJ (short for Lumberjack-keep up, people!):  SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Me:  *giggle*

LJ:  Stop!

Me:  But look at Dwight’s shirt!

LJ:  Shhhhh!

Me:  He looks like Jason!

LJ:  Huh?

Me:  Remember?  Jason’s wolf shirt?

LJ: Oh, yeah!  Haha!

Me: *giggle*

LJ:  Shhhhh!

Yes, dear readers.

Jason has a wolf shirt.

And, quite honestly, he rocks it.

Remember Jason?

Rock on, Jason.

Rock on.

Dear Jason,

Next time you wear your wolf shirt, I might be snapping a picture and I may or may not be putting it in my blog.

I cannot be certain.

But I probably will.

Yours fondly,

Taylor

4)  Comment of the Week time!

This week goes to my dear friend Mindy, who has been a faithful supporter and commenter on my blog since just about the beginning.

She is commenting on my latest Not Me! post and, frankly, her comment was better than any Not Me!  post I have ever attempted.

Mindy.

You nailed it.

Start a blog.

The world needs you.

“I did not get into a swimsuit that my body is terribly unready for and swim in a pool. I did not turn my head away every time there was splashing so my face didn’t get wet, and I did not leave my family in the pool and decide I’d rather hang out in the hot tub. That would be a little sad.

I also did not leave my house in a wreck that looked like a tornado went through it, and then have someone want to come look at the house. I mean, not me. My house is always perfect. Thank goodness we didn’t have to kill ourselves for two hours cleaning the house before we could show the house. That would have been exhausting for a lazy Sunday afternoon.”

Nice job, Mindy.

Nice job.

Everyone say hi to Mindy!

She doesn’t have a blog.

(Boo, Mindy.  Boo)

So, you can’t really go say hi.

Instead, just shout, “Hi, Mindy!” at your computer.

That will suffice.

5)  I would like everyone to know that The Lumberjack just walked by, looked at the title of this post, and shouted,

“What?!  You have baby fever?  Goodness, Taylor.  Isn’t 4 enough?”

Oh, that was fun to do to him.

And that will segway me into my next point.

6)  Baby fever.

I’ve got a fever . . . and the only prescription is more cowbell.

(Name that actor)

So . . . guess who became a big sister this week?

My niece, Little Miss!

Yes.

The Lumberjack’s sister, Lisa,  had a little girl on Wednesday.

Which also happened to be Daisy Mae’s birthday!

I have not yet come up with her super cool blog code name.

I welcome your suggestions.

Sisters . . .sisters . . . there were never such devoted sisters . . .

(Name that movie)

(That was for you, Mindy-Lou)

And here I am.

Holding a baby.

A cute, tiny, cuddly baby.

And bonus!

I did not have to birth her!

Win-win!

So . . .about the Baby Fever.

I don’t really want more kids.

But I do sometimes get sad when I realize I won’t have a baby again.

And I start to ponder the things about babies and pregnancy I like.

Then I start to get sad for things that will never be.

So, to help me get cure my Baby Fever, I have created a list of horrible things that occur during pregnancy/baby stage.

And I remind myself of these things when the fever is coming on.

Here is my list:

1)  Worry.  I worry from the moment I find out I am pregnant to the moment I hear the first heartbeat to the time I see the first ultrasound to the time the baby is born.

Then I worry about all the things that could go wrong.

And, well, basically, I worry the whole time.

2)  1st Trimester yuckiness.

3)  That stage where you don’t look pregnant, but you certainly don’t look trim.

And people stare at your stomach.

And you know they want to ask if you are pregnant.

But they can’t tell what is going on with your belly.

Is she pregnant?

Is she fat?

Does she just need to do some sit-ups?

Did she eat a big lunch?

4)  Maternity pants.

Specifically, panels.

More specifically, the fact that by the time I climb a flight of stairs, my pants have nearly fallen off.

5)  Heartburn

6) Hemorrhoids (not that I got them)

7)  Stretchmarks (I ain’t gonna lie.  I got them)

8 )  Heart Murmurs

9)  Hearing the doctor say, “Let’s check you!”

Oh, the invasion of privacy.

10)  Getting on the scale.

Having the nurse “guess” which 50 pound group on the scale you are in.

Hearing nurse say, “Oh, wow!  You are heavier than you look!”

Hearing the dreadful “clunk” when she graduates you to a new 50 pound weight class.

Oh, the horror.

11)  Hearing doctor say, “You didn’t gain much this month, but I am not worried since you were so overweight to begin with.”

True story.

So sad.

12)  Thinking you are really close when you hit 36 weeks, and then as each day drags on, you realize you are not close at all.

13)  Going 9 days overdue.

14)  Childbirth in general.

It’s a drag, folks.

A real bummer.

15)  Not being able to count on just one hand the number of people who have seen you indecent.

16)  The afterbirth.

Attention men:  I should have warned you earlier.  This might not be the post for you.  Sorry about that.  Come back another day.

17)  Post-Partum Maxi Pads.

Yeah.

You know the ones.

Brings a whole new meaning to the expression, “From Horn to Hoof”

18)  Breastfeeding.

I know.

For some of you crazies, this was a perk.

Not so for me.

I  loathed breastfeeding.

19)  Again, hemorrhoids.

Again, not that I know about such things.

20)  Having someone ask you when you baby is due when you have your week-old baby in a car seat right next to you.

21)  Wearing maternity clothes for weeks on end after baby is born.

22)  Varicose Veins.

23)  Being excited when you sleep 4 hours straight at night.

24)  Still wearing maternity clothes.

25)  Still breastfeeding.

26)  Still loathing breastfeeding.

27)  Chasing around other children while breastfeeding.

28)  Getting procedure to remove varicose veins.

2009_9_12 119

Yes!

Those are my legs!

No!

You can’t borrow my medical compression stockings.

Get your own.

29)  Having someone ask you when your baby is due when you have your 6 week old baby in the car seat next to you.

30)  Trying to fold your stomach into your old jeans.

Not that I had to do that.

Alright.

That’s all I can think of for now.

Feel free to add to my list.

Happy Weekend!

Posted in Uncategorized | 29 Comments

Pee on my floor, and other nuisances in life.

Posted on March 25, 2010 by Taylor

Today’s Topic:  Cleaning Tips

Ha!

DSC_0029

My house?

Clean?

Well, I really wanted to participate, so we’ll give it a go.

Without further ado, I present to you:

Cleaning Tips from The Lumberjack’s Wife:

1)  Magic Erasers.

They truly are magic.

One of my children, who shall remain nameless . . .

(and hairless) has a weakness when it comes to crayons.

I fear he loves them.

And he loves to color on everything but paper.

Naughty thing.

But Magic Erasers have been good to me.

They have safely removed many crayon marks and other unidentifiable splatterings off of my doors, appliances, floors, walls, stairs, and baseboards for some time now.

And guess what!

I recently switched to generic and they work just as great!

Holla!

2)  I am cheap.  Sometimes.

I must be honest.  Sometimes I walk into Old Navy and completely forget that I claim to be cheap.

One thing I love is vinegar.

I get two of this size at Costco for about $4.

Uses for vinegar:

*Clean and shine chrome faucets

*Dilute with water in a spray bottle for a cheap all-purpose cleaner

*Dilute with water and use to mop floors

*Don’t buy anything fancy to clean out your microwave. 

Just put some vinegar in a bowl and microwave on high for a few minutes. 

 Open it up. 

Embrace the smell.

And wipe it down.

*Another good use for vinegar is to strip all the gunk out of your hair.

Just pour it on and rinse it out.

Makes your hair shiny and gunk-free.

Not that my hair ever gets gunkified.

Helpful Tip:  Do not use the vinegar bottle that is in your refrigerator.  It will be quite chilly when you dump it all over yourself.

Quite.

*Vinegar for bathrooms.

***sigh***

As many of you are already aware, I recently potty-trained my boy.

DSC_0147

It was my first experience with potty-training a boy and, I ain’t gonna lie, IT DID NOT GO WELL.

Now, one room that always needs to be clean is a bathroom, particularly if visitors are going to be using said bathroom.

I have always prided myself on keeping a tidy bathroom.

Then God said . . .

Let her have boys.

It’s a good thing vinegar is so tootin’ frootin’ cheap.

Well, at least he is trying to pee into the toilet.

I call that progress.

And while we are looking at the bright side, let’s be happy that the old toilet paper roll is at least off of its stand.

No.

It did not make it to the trash can.

But still . . .

Baby Steps.

Baby Steps pick up the toilet paper roll.  Baby steps to the garbage can . . .

(Name that movie)

All that unidentifiable liquid product on the floor kind of gives you the pee-pee shivers (no pun intended) when you see something like this:

Good News!

Did you know you can boil toothbrushes?

Boil, baby!

Boil!

The Lumberjack thinks he is so funny and takes pictures of me when I really don’t want him to be taking pictures of me.

“Hey, hon!  You can use it for your blog!  You can make a post about how often you clean the toilet!  People will love it!”

Well, people?

Do you love it?

No.

I am not using vinegar in this photo.

I am, in fact, using bleach.

Because anything that is splattered daily with urine deserves a little bleach.

Bleach makes everything better.

3)  Try to not stress.

It is very hyprocritical for me to type that.

But I am trying to embrace the fact that because I have small children . . .

My house will never be perfectly clean.

Sure.

I can spend all day running behind them, demanding the puzzle gets picked up, the blocks are gathered, and the toys put away immediately.

But . . . then I had a thought.

Who cares?

I am trying to embrace this new motto.

Everyone repeat after me: 

WHO CARES?

Well, I kind of do. 

But I am trying not to.

And I have adopted a new system.

I call it Taylor’s 4-Step process to success:

1)  Try to keep a handle on the grime.  Sweep daily, dust weekly, etc.

2)  Let the kids have fun and make a mess.

(Baby steps, remember.  Baby steps)

3)  Program husband to let me know 20 minutes in advance when he will be returning.

4)  Run around the house like a madwoman and make the house “pretend-clean” so that my husband does not think my existence as a homemaker is pointless.

Feel free to adopt this plan for yourselves.

Alright!

That’s all I got!

But I would love to hear any cleaning tips you might have to share with me!

Trust me . . .

I need all the help I get can.

Posted in Uncategorized | 41 Comments

Rock on, Dad. Rock on.

Posted on March 25, 2010 by Taylor

Happy Thursday, one and all!

We are still deep in the throes of Birthday Bonanza Week over here, but I thought I would take a break from all that nonsense to bring you another exciting installment of:

Questions and Their Answers.

Don’t pretend you aren’t thrilled.

1)  Have you ever been to Mississippi?  If not, how close have you gotten?

No, I am fairly certain I have never been to Mississippi.

How close have I gotten to Mississippi?

I don’t know. 

I need a map.

Yet, I am not going to get one.

So, here are the states I have been to, and you can let me know when I was the closest to the grand state of Mississippi.

Florida

Pennsylvania

Delaware

Maryland

Montana

Washington

Idaho

Oregon

California

2)  Have you ever loved another man?
 

Have I ever loved another man?

Well, let’s examine this one, shall we?

Here is a picture of me and The Lumberjack on our wedding day:

When we got married, was the Lumberjack a man?

I think he was more of a man-boy.

No.

I did not love another man before the Lumberjack.

I strongly liked some boys.

But no men.

It would have been illegal.

And furthermore, I would have never ever ever called him The Lumberjack back in those days.

No.

I would have called him Mr.-Romantic-Who-Occasionally-Highlights-His-Hair-and-Would-Shop-At-The-Gap-With-Me-and-May-Have-Even-Visited-A-Tanning-Booth-Once-in-Prepartion-for-Prom.

3)  How many kids did you think you would have?

When we were first married and kids seemed far off in our future, we used to talk about having 5 boys.

I am much wiser now and I know what boys are like.

And now I thank God daily that I don’t have 5 of them.

Does that sound mean?

I heart my boys.

I just don’t think I am a good mom for boys.

Let’s examine the facts:

*I dislike dirt

*I dislike guns

*I dislike chaos

*I make rules such as, “No Balls in the House”

*I don’t know what to do with little *ahem* units

*I don’t know how to properly potty train a boy.

*Boys scare me.

4)  How did you and The Lumberjack meet?

We met in high school during my junior year and his senior year.

We were both dating other people, and neither relationship was going well.

We sat next to each other in accounting class and would discuss our woes.

Right before prom, the guy I was dating broke up with me.

You may ask, “How could anyone ever break up with you, O photogenic one?”

It truly is a mystery.

Any-who, silly boy who broke up with me decided he would still take me to the prom because I had probably already bought a dress (I hadn’t) so off we went.

And we sat at the same table as The Lumberjack, aka Mr.-Romantic-Who-Occasionally-Highlights-His-Hair-and-Would-Shop-At-The-Gap-With-Me-and-Even-May-Have-Visited-A-Tanning-Booth-Once-in-Prepartion-for-Prom, and his date, aka the girl he was no longer getting along with.

So there we are.

Me-I am hoping that my date will end up liking me again.

My date- He is wishing he was with someone else

LJ- He is wishing the night was over

LJ’s Date-She is wishing the night was over.

We were a fun table.

No one was talking.

Finally, LJ breaks the awkward silence that has hovered over our love-cursed table.

“Hey, Taylor.  On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate this room?”

“Um . . . why?”

“Hey, Taylor.  On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate these salt and pepper shakers?”

I wanted to kill him.

“I don’t know.”

“Hey, Taylor.  On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate this tablecloth?”

Oh, what a dreadful night that was.

The only person talking to me was this overly tanned guy from my accounting class and all he could think of to talk to me about was rating inanimate objects on a scale of 1-10.

More reasons why that night was dreadful:

1)  The guy I was with did not speak to me the whole night.

2)  I had just had my fourth knee surgery, so I had a stupid knee brace on and I looked pretty lame (no pun intended) when I walked around.

3)  I had just had a really, really, really bad perm.

4)  The lady who gave me a really, really, really bad perm also cut my bangs way, way, way, way too short.

5)  I looked really way stupid.

6)  I didn’t have a dress.  So I had to borrow one from my friend who was thinner than I.  It was not flattering.

7)  When my date dropped me off, he spoke to me for the first time.  He said, “Bye.  Thanks for ruining my senior prom.”

I really hated that night.

But, lo and behold, LJ and his lady friend broke up, I got over my old beau, and the rest is history.

Fact:  Old boyfriend went on to marry a lovely lady who he is very nice to and they are expecting their 5th child. 

Fact:  There are no hard feelings towards Old boyfriend.

Fact:  If it wasn’t for Old boyfriend, I would have never met my Lumberjack.

5)  Are you done having kids?

Hmmm . . .

Let me think.

Yes.

Yes Sir-ee, Bob.

Oh, yes.

Yes, yes, yes.

6)  What is the age difference of your kids?

The girls are 15 months apart.

Then there is a 3 year break.

When Handsome Dude came along, Sweet Pea was 4, Daisy Mae turned 3 the day after he was born.

Then, when Handsome Dude was 15 months old, Little Dude was born.

So we had 4 kids in 5 years.

And no, none of them were planned.

We were shocked and bewildered every time.

And yes, we get asked this a lot:

“Don’t you two know how that happens?”

And I have finally came up with the perfect response!

Are you ready for it?

Are you ready for it?

“Yes!  It’s so fun!  Have you tried it?”

Oh, dear.

I crossed the line again.

Dear Lord,

Please help this not to be the 1 out of 10 posts my parents read.

Amen.

7)  How do you handle more than one kid?

I don’t.

hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

But, seriously.

It’s a madhouse over here.

One of my tricks when the kids are young is to keep a pack and play in the living room as a playpen.

Because when Little Dude was born, Handsome Dude was 15 months old and he was a busy little punk.

I had to keep Handsome Dude alive.

Even though my world was spinning out of control and I had no handle on anything, I felt keeping him alive was the least I could do.

So, when I would be banished to the couch nursing Little Dude, I would sometimes stick Handsome Dude in the pack and play so he could live to see another day.

Again, it was the least I could do.

He wasn’t a fan.

Fact:  Handsome Dude used to find my toilet cleaning brush, use his tiny imagination to turn it into a sword, and chase his sister’s all around with it.

And there I would be.

On the couch.

Breastfeeding.

I.

Hate.

Breastfeeding.

My girls would cry out, “Help us!  Help us!”

Yes.

I would be tempted to ignore them.

But again, it is my duty as a mother to not only keep Handsome Dude alive, but to also save my girls from being repeatedly hit by a nasty toilet brush.

So, I would run around the house chasing Handsome Dude, while trying to maintain Little Dude’s suction.

I.

Hate.

Breastfeeding.

So, for the sake of keeping my girls from getting stabbed with a toilet brush, keeping Handsome Dude alive, and feeding Little Dude without making him nauseous, I would put Handsome Dude in the pack and play.

Having four is definitely busy.

Thankfully, our girls are old enough to be good helpers.

Also, we aren’t as worried about things anymore.

We let more things slide.

For example, I guarantee you I would have never allowed my girls to be ruffians and sit on a couch like this:

No.

That would not have been safe.

Actually, I really don’t like it still.

But the Lumberjack keeps thwarting all my good parenting plans.

 

And I am tired of fighting The Lumberjack on safety issues.

Besides.

If I try and argue, he’s just going to give me a wedgie.

And he has coerced Little Dude into joining his team.

The team of Not Safe.

 

Rock on, Dad!

Rock on!

 

Alright!

I’m off to plan two more birthday parties!

Wish me luck!

Happy Thursday!

 

P.S.-Guess who is having a BimBaby?

Posted in Questions and Their Answers | Leave a comment

6!

Posted on March 24, 2010 by Taylor

Daisy Mae is 6 today!

Goodness!

It’s like a Birthday Bonanza over here!

If I have to bake one more cupcake, I fear I will scream . . . and then eat another cupcake.

***

Daisy Mae’s verse:

“But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.  He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.  It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.  It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”

Jeremiah 17: 7-8

I have been thinking a lot lately about how quickly my children are growing up.

And it scares me.

*Disclaimer:  Please excuse this post.  I am not very good at writing about anything without cracking a joke here and there.  I am trying to share from my heart something that has been on my mind a lot.  I hope it makes sense!

Honestly, I don’t really understand why the thought of them getting older scares me.

Fear of change?

Fear of the unknown?

Fear of teenage drama?

Fear of sass?

Fear of junior high?

I don’t know.

All I know is that the years are flying by.

It does not seem like all that long ago when I just had these two girls . . .

at home.

Interruption:  I am simply taking pictures of pictures.

Classy, I know.

The days were busy.

Bottles, diapers, diaper blowouts, binkies, naps, books, songs, crying, laughing, spit-up, teething and exhaustion filled my days.

I used to long for my girls to grow up.

Just a little bit more grown up, and surely life would get easier.

I had a dream . . .

 that one day,  my girls would pee on their own.

 . . . that one day, my girls could actually help me shop instead of riot and heckle me from their double stroller.

 . . . that one day, my girls could sit in a chair and eat all by themselves without spilling anything or falling out of said chair.

Fact:  Daisy Mae is still struggling through these issues.

 . . . that one day, my girls would not need help wiping.

 . . . that one day, my girls would not need naps.

 . . . that one day, my car would not be littered with forgotten sippy cups.

The days quickly came and went.

Instead of bottles and spit-up, life became filled with baby dolls, dress-up, and tea parties.

And I found myself longing for my tiny babies again.

Maybe not the spit-up or diaper blowouts parts that come with babies, but the snuggly, smiley and cuddly parts.

Now, my girls are older.

Days are filled with homework, bike-riding, reading, singing, and coloring.

And I am desperately trying to find the pause button.

Because it is all going too fast.

And I find myself forgetting many things.

The way they felt while sitting in my lap.

The feel of their sleepy heads against my chest when we would read a book.

The warmth I would feel when they would sleep on my chest.

The sound of their voices trying to say new words.

The feel of their tiny hands while on a walk.

The quietness of the house when they were napping at the same time.

The cute way they would toddle around.

The wonder and worry while discovering my new role as mother.

 

And now, my Daisy Mae is 6.

She is missing her two front teeth.

She is in kindergarten.

She reads stories to her little brothers.

And she is quickly changing.

Lately, when I start to feel sad about how quickly my kids are growing up, I try to focus on the fact that I have been blessed to love them and know them for every day that God has given me with them.

So, instead of being sad that my baby girl is six, I will praise God for the fact that I have had her in my life for six years.

And hopefully many, many, many, many more.

Yesterday, I did a song tribute for Handsome Dude to the lyrics of his favorite tune.

For Daisy Mae, I will do one to the lyrics of a song that means a lot to me.

Being a mom has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life.

And it has also taught me the most about myself and grown my faith in God.

***

I stand

Amazed in the Presence

of Jesus the Nazarene.

And wonder how He could love me

A sinner condemned unclean.

 How Marvelous

O, How Wonderful

and my song

Shall ever be.

 How Marvelous!

O!  How Wonderful!

Is my Savior’s Love for me.

Happy Birthday to Daisy Mae!

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Matthew 6:  19-21

For more blogs on the Finer Things in life, visit Amy’s blog.

Posted in family, Song Tributes, Stay At Home Mom | Leave a comment

3!

Posted on March 23, 2010 by Taylor

My Handsome Dude is 3 today!

I can’t believe how fast time flies.

When he was born, the Lumberjack and I picked out a verse for him.

” . . . So be strong, show yourself a man, and observe what the Lord your God requires:  Walk in his ways and keep his decrees and commands.”

1 Kings 2: 2b-3a

Dear God,

My Handsome Dude is going to need a lot of guidance on his journey to manhood.

A lot.

Seriously.

He’s going to need a lot of help.

and . . .

prayer.

Oh, my Handsome Dude.

Growing up too quickly.

He can be a bit of a turd.

A handful, if you will.

But, he can also be very sweet and kind.

Well, before signing off, I would like to conclude with a song tribute dedicated to my Handsome Dude set to the lyrics of his favorite song.

Please.

Try and contain your excitement.

Let me know if you need me to get you the information so you can download this song for your IPod.

***

One, Two

Buckle my Shoe

Three, Four

Shut the Door.

Five, Six

2009_9_08 025

Pick up Sticks.

Seven, Eight

Lay them Straight.

Nine, Ten

That’s the End!

 

Happy Birthday, Handsome Dude!!!

Posted in Song Tributes, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Fact Check, 2010

Posted on March 23, 2010 by Taylor

Just a quick little post I need to do to make some corrections.

It is my duty to bring you nothing but useless, yet factual, information.

1)  In my post yesterday, I mentioned James referring to BBDs as underwear.

Well, my friends, I have a hearing problem.

It is true.

I am nearly deaf in one ear.

Turns out he was saying BVDs, and according to two very reliable sources , BVDs stand for Bradley Voorhees and Day.

And apparently they are, in fact, underwear.

There you go.

You learn something new everyday.

2)  I blabbed to everyone what Jason’s nickname was in my post Jas-Bud-Dooter-Tooter.

Remember Jason?

I made the mistake of going to The Lumberjack, Jason’s loving older brother,  to find out what Jason’s nicknames were.

I already knew of Jas-Bud.

The Lumberjack informed me that Jason’s other nickname was Dooter Tooter.

Turns out, Jason’s other nickname was actually Putt-Putt.

Interruption:  Let’s pause for a moment to admire my mother-in-law’s creativity with nicknames for her offspring.

Thank you.

Guess whose nickname was, in fact, Dooter Tooter.

Nice try, Lumberjack.

Or should I say Nice try, Dooter-Tooter.

Nice try.

3)  I have recently won two thingie-ma-bobs in the blogging world.

Whaaat?!

Crazy.

First, I won the sunshine award from Rebecca D.

Go say Hi! to Rebecca!

And secondly, I won a cookie sheet in a giveaway from Jo at Blog-Diggity and CSN Stores.

Go say Hi! to Jo!

4)  And finally, there is one very important picture I would like to close with.

Just for kicks and grins.

 

That there is my super cool pal, Sarah.

Holding a t-shirt honoring wolves.

You can’t get much cooler than wolves.

100 (meaningless) points to anyone who can guess why I felt the need to snap a picture of this shirt.

Hint:  It has to do with a tv show.

Happy Tuesday!

This is Taylor, signing off.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment