Pee on my floor, and other nuisances in life.

Posted on March 25, 2010 by Taylor

Today’s Topic:  Cleaning Tips

Ha!

DSC_0029

My house?

Clean?

Well, I really wanted to participate, so we’ll give it a go.

Without further ado, I present to you:

Cleaning Tips from The Lumberjack’s Wife:

1)  Magic Erasers.

They truly are magic.

One of my children, who shall remain nameless . . .

(and hairless) has a weakness when it comes to crayons.

I fear he loves them.

And he loves to color on everything but paper.

Naughty thing.

But Magic Erasers have been good to me.

They have safely removed many crayon marks and other unidentifiable splatterings off of my doors, appliances, floors, walls, stairs, and baseboards for some time now.

And guess what!

I recently switched to generic and they work just as great!

Holla!

2)  I am cheap.  Sometimes.

I must be honest.  Sometimes I walk into Old Navy and completely forget that I claim to be cheap.

One thing I love is vinegar.

I get two of this size at Costco for about $4.

Uses for vinegar:

*Clean and shine chrome faucets

*Dilute with water in a spray bottle for a cheap all-purpose cleaner

*Dilute with water and use to mop floors

*Don’t buy anything fancy to clean out your microwave. 

Just put some vinegar in a bowl and microwave on high for a few minutes. 

 Open it up. 

Embrace the smell.

And wipe it down.

*Another good use for vinegar is to strip all the gunk out of your hair.

Just pour it on and rinse it out.

Makes your hair shiny and gunk-free.

Not that my hair ever gets gunkified.

Helpful Tip:  Do not use the vinegar bottle that is in your refrigerator.  It will be quite chilly when you dump it all over yourself.

Quite.

*Vinegar for bathrooms.

***sigh***

As many of you are already aware, I recently potty-trained my boy.

DSC_0147

It was my first experience with potty-training a boy and, I ain’t gonna lie, IT DID NOT GO WELL.

Now, one room that always needs to be clean is a bathroom, particularly if visitors are going to be using said bathroom.

I have always prided myself on keeping a tidy bathroom.

Then God said . . .

Let her have boys.

It’s a good thing vinegar is so tootin’ frootin’ cheap.

Well, at least he is trying to pee into the toilet.

I call that progress.

And while we are looking at the bright side, let’s be happy that the old toilet paper roll is at least off of its stand.

No.

It did not make it to the trash can.

But still . . .

Baby Steps.

Baby Steps pick up the toilet paper roll.  Baby steps to the garbage can . . .

(Name that movie)

All that unidentifiable liquid product on the floor kind of gives you the pee-pee shivers (no pun intended) when you see something like this:

Good News!

Did you know you can boil toothbrushes?

Boil, baby!

Boil!

The Lumberjack thinks he is so funny and takes pictures of me when I really don’t want him to be taking pictures of me.

“Hey, hon!  You can use it for your blog!  You can make a post about how often you clean the toilet!  People will love it!”

Well, people?

Do you love it?

No.

I am not using vinegar in this photo.

I am, in fact, using bleach.

Because anything that is splattered daily with urine deserves a little bleach.

Bleach makes everything better.

3)  Try to not stress.

It is very hyprocritical for me to type that.

But I am trying to embrace the fact that because I have small children . . .

My house will never be perfectly clean.

Sure.

I can spend all day running behind them, demanding the puzzle gets picked up, the blocks are gathered, and the toys put away immediately.

But . . . then I had a thought.

Who cares?

I am trying to embrace this new motto.

Everyone repeat after me: 

WHO CARES?

Well, I kind of do. 

But I am trying not to.

And I have adopted a new system.

I call it Taylor’s 4-Step process to success:

1)  Try to keep a handle on the grime.  Sweep daily, dust weekly, etc.

2)  Let the kids have fun and make a mess.

(Baby steps, remember.  Baby steps)

3)  Program husband to let me know 20 minutes in advance when he will be returning.

4)  Run around the house like a madwoman and make the house “pretend-clean” so that my husband does not think my existence as a homemaker is pointless.

Feel free to adopt this plan for yourselves.

Alright!

That’s all I got!

But I would love to hear any cleaning tips you might have to share with me!

Trust me . . .

I need all the help I get can.

Posted in Uncategorized | 41 Comments

Rock on, Dad. Rock on.

Posted on March 25, 2010 by Taylor

Happy Thursday, one and all!

We are still deep in the throes of Birthday Bonanza Week over here, but I thought I would take a break from all that nonsense to bring you another exciting installment of:

Questions and Their Answers.

Don’t pretend you aren’t thrilled.

1)  Have you ever been to Mississippi?  If not, how close have you gotten?

No, I am fairly certain I have never been to Mississippi.

How close have I gotten to Mississippi?

I don’t know. 

I need a map.

Yet, I am not going to get one.

So, here are the states I have been to, and you can let me know when I was the closest to the grand state of Mississippi.

Florida

Pennsylvania

Delaware

Maryland

Montana

Washington

Idaho

Oregon

California

2)  Have you ever loved another man?
 

Have I ever loved another man?

Well, let’s examine this one, shall we?

Here is a picture of me and The Lumberjack on our wedding day:

When we got married, was the Lumberjack a man?

I think he was more of a man-boy.

No.

I did not love another man before the Lumberjack.

I strongly liked some boys.

But no men.

It would have been illegal.

And furthermore, I would have never ever ever called him The Lumberjack back in those days.

No.

I would have called him Mr.-Romantic-Who-Occasionally-Highlights-His-Hair-and-Would-Shop-At-The-Gap-With-Me-and-May-Have-Even-Visited-A-Tanning-Booth-Once-in-Prepartion-for-Prom.

3)  How many kids did you think you would have?

When we were first married and kids seemed far off in our future, we used to talk about having 5 boys.

I am much wiser now and I know what boys are like.

And now I thank God daily that I don’t have 5 of them.

Does that sound mean?

I heart my boys.

I just don’t think I am a good mom for boys.

Let’s examine the facts:

*I dislike dirt

*I dislike guns

*I dislike chaos

*I make rules such as, “No Balls in the House”

*I don’t know what to do with little *ahem* units

*I don’t know how to properly potty train a boy.

*Boys scare me.

4)  How did you and The Lumberjack meet?

We met in high school during my junior year and his senior year.

We were both dating other people, and neither relationship was going well.

We sat next to each other in accounting class and would discuss our woes.

Right before prom, the guy I was dating broke up with me.

You may ask, “How could anyone ever break up with you, O photogenic one?”

It truly is a mystery.

Any-who, silly boy who broke up with me decided he would still take me to the prom because I had probably already bought a dress (I hadn’t) so off we went.

And we sat at the same table as The Lumberjack, aka Mr.-Romantic-Who-Occasionally-Highlights-His-Hair-and-Would-Shop-At-The-Gap-With-Me-and-Even-May-Have-Visited-A-Tanning-Booth-Once-in-Prepartion-for-Prom, and his date, aka the girl he was no longer getting along with.

So there we are.

Me-I am hoping that my date will end up liking me again.

My date- He is wishing he was with someone else

LJ- He is wishing the night was over

LJ’s Date-She is wishing the night was over.

We were a fun table.

No one was talking.

Finally, LJ breaks the awkward silence that has hovered over our love-cursed table.

“Hey, Taylor.  On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate this room?”

“Um . . . why?”

“Hey, Taylor.  On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate these salt and pepper shakers?”

I wanted to kill him.

“I don’t know.”

“Hey, Taylor.  On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate this tablecloth?”

Oh, what a dreadful night that was.

The only person talking to me was this overly tanned guy from my accounting class and all he could think of to talk to me about was rating inanimate objects on a scale of 1-10.

More reasons why that night was dreadful:

1)  The guy I was with did not speak to me the whole night.

2)  I had just had my fourth knee surgery, so I had a stupid knee brace on and I looked pretty lame (no pun intended) when I walked around.

3)  I had just had a really, really, really bad perm.

4)  The lady who gave me a really, really, really bad perm also cut my bangs way, way, way, way too short.

5)  I looked really way stupid.

6)  I didn’t have a dress.  So I had to borrow one from my friend who was thinner than I.  It was not flattering.

7)  When my date dropped me off, he spoke to me for the first time.  He said, “Bye.  Thanks for ruining my senior prom.”

I really hated that night.

But, lo and behold, LJ and his lady friend broke up, I got over my old beau, and the rest is history.

Fact:  Old boyfriend went on to marry a lovely lady who he is very nice to and they are expecting their 5th child. 

Fact:  There are no hard feelings towards Old boyfriend.

Fact:  If it wasn’t for Old boyfriend, I would have never met my Lumberjack.

5)  Are you done having kids?

Hmmm . . .

Let me think.

Yes.

Yes Sir-ee, Bob.

Oh, yes.

Yes, yes, yes.

6)  What is the age difference of your kids?

The girls are 15 months apart.

Then there is a 3 year break.

When Handsome Dude came along, Sweet Pea was 4, Daisy Mae turned 3 the day after he was born.

Then, when Handsome Dude was 15 months old, Little Dude was born.

So we had 4 kids in 5 years.

And no, none of them were planned.

We were shocked and bewildered every time.

And yes, we get asked this a lot:

“Don’t you two know how that happens?”

And I have finally came up with the perfect response!

Are you ready for it?

Are you ready for it?

“Yes!  It’s so fun!  Have you tried it?”

Oh, dear.

I crossed the line again.

Dear Lord,

Please help this not to be the 1 out of 10 posts my parents read.

Amen.

7)  How do you handle more than one kid?

I don’t.

hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

But, seriously.

It’s a madhouse over here.

One of my tricks when the kids are young is to keep a pack and play in the living room as a playpen.

Because when Little Dude was born, Handsome Dude was 15 months old and he was a busy little punk.

I had to keep Handsome Dude alive.

Even though my world was spinning out of control and I had no handle on anything, I felt keeping him alive was the least I could do.

So, when I would be banished to the couch nursing Little Dude, I would sometimes stick Handsome Dude in the pack and play so he could live to see another day.

Again, it was the least I could do.

He wasn’t a fan.

Fact:  Handsome Dude used to find my toilet cleaning brush, use his tiny imagination to turn it into a sword, and chase his sister’s all around with it.

And there I would be.

On the couch.

Breastfeeding.

I.

Hate.

Breastfeeding.

My girls would cry out, “Help us!  Help us!”

Yes.

I would be tempted to ignore them.

But again, it is my duty as a mother to not only keep Handsome Dude alive, but to also save my girls from being repeatedly hit by a nasty toilet brush.

So, I would run around the house chasing Handsome Dude, while trying to maintain Little Dude’s suction.

I.

Hate.

Breastfeeding.

So, for the sake of keeping my girls from getting stabbed with a toilet brush, keeping Handsome Dude alive, and feeding Little Dude without making him nauseous, I would put Handsome Dude in the pack and play.

Having four is definitely busy.

Thankfully, our girls are old enough to be good helpers.

Also, we aren’t as worried about things anymore.

We let more things slide.

For example, I guarantee you I would have never allowed my girls to be ruffians and sit on a couch like this:

No.

That would not have been safe.

Actually, I really don’t like it still.

But the Lumberjack keeps thwarting all my good parenting plans.

 

And I am tired of fighting The Lumberjack on safety issues.

Besides.

If I try and argue, he’s just going to give me a wedgie.

And he has coerced Little Dude into joining his team.

The team of Not Safe.

 

Rock on, Dad!

Rock on!

 

Alright!

I’m off to plan two more birthday parties!

Wish me luck!

Happy Thursday!

 

P.S.-Guess who is having a BimBaby?

Posted in Questions and Their Answers | Leave a comment

6!

Posted on March 24, 2010 by Taylor

Daisy Mae is 6 today!

Goodness!

It’s like a Birthday Bonanza over here!

If I have to bake one more cupcake, I fear I will scream . . . and then eat another cupcake.

***

Daisy Mae’s verse:

“But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.  He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.  It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.  It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”

Jeremiah 17: 7-8

I have been thinking a lot lately about how quickly my children are growing up.

And it scares me.

*Disclaimer:  Please excuse this post.  I am not very good at writing about anything without cracking a joke here and there.  I am trying to share from my heart something that has been on my mind a lot.  I hope it makes sense!

Honestly, I don’t really understand why the thought of them getting older scares me.

Fear of change?

Fear of the unknown?

Fear of teenage drama?

Fear of sass?

Fear of junior high?

I don’t know.

All I know is that the years are flying by.

It does not seem like all that long ago when I just had these two girls . . .

at home.

Interruption:  I am simply taking pictures of pictures.

Classy, I know.

The days were busy.

Bottles, diapers, diaper blowouts, binkies, naps, books, songs, crying, laughing, spit-up, teething and exhaustion filled my days.

I used to long for my girls to grow up.

Just a little bit more grown up, and surely life would get easier.

I had a dream . . .

 that one day,  my girls would pee on their own.

 . . . that one day, my girls could actually help me shop instead of riot and heckle me from their double stroller.

 . . . that one day, my girls could sit in a chair and eat all by themselves without spilling anything or falling out of said chair.

Fact:  Daisy Mae is still struggling through these issues.

 . . . that one day, my girls would not need help wiping.

 . . . that one day, my girls would not need naps.

 . . . that one day, my car would not be littered with forgotten sippy cups.

The days quickly came and went.

Instead of bottles and spit-up, life became filled with baby dolls, dress-up, and tea parties.

And I found myself longing for my tiny babies again.

Maybe not the spit-up or diaper blowouts parts that come with babies, but the snuggly, smiley and cuddly parts.

Now, my girls are older.

Days are filled with homework, bike-riding, reading, singing, and coloring.

And I am desperately trying to find the pause button.

Because it is all going too fast.

And I find myself forgetting many things.

The way they felt while sitting in my lap.

The feel of their sleepy heads against my chest when we would read a book.

The warmth I would feel when they would sleep on my chest.

The sound of their voices trying to say new words.

The feel of their tiny hands while on a walk.

The quietness of the house when they were napping at the same time.

The cute way they would toddle around.

The wonder and worry while discovering my new role as mother.

 

And now, my Daisy Mae is 6.

She is missing her two front teeth.

She is in kindergarten.

She reads stories to her little brothers.

And she is quickly changing.

Lately, when I start to feel sad about how quickly my kids are growing up, I try to focus on the fact that I have been blessed to love them and know them for every day that God has given me with them.

So, instead of being sad that my baby girl is six, I will praise God for the fact that I have had her in my life for six years.

And hopefully many, many, many, many more.

Yesterday, I did a song tribute for Handsome Dude to the lyrics of his favorite tune.

For Daisy Mae, I will do one to the lyrics of a song that means a lot to me.

Being a mom has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life.

And it has also taught me the most about myself and grown my faith in God.

***

I stand

Amazed in the Presence

of Jesus the Nazarene.

And wonder how He could love me

A sinner condemned unclean.

 How Marvelous

O, How Wonderful

and my song

Shall ever be.

 How Marvelous!

O!  How Wonderful!

Is my Savior’s Love for me.

Happy Birthday to Daisy Mae!

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Matthew 6:  19-21

For more blogs on the Finer Things in life, visit Amy’s blog.

Posted in family, Song Tributes, Stay At Home Mom | Leave a comment

3!

Posted on March 23, 2010 by Taylor

My Handsome Dude is 3 today!

I can’t believe how fast time flies.

When he was born, the Lumberjack and I picked out a verse for him.

” . . . So be strong, show yourself a man, and observe what the Lord your God requires:  Walk in his ways and keep his decrees and commands.”

1 Kings 2: 2b-3a

Dear God,

My Handsome Dude is going to need a lot of guidance on his journey to manhood.

A lot.

Seriously.

He’s going to need a lot of help.

and . . .

prayer.

Oh, my Handsome Dude.

Growing up too quickly.

He can be a bit of a turd.

A handful, if you will.

But, he can also be very sweet and kind.

Well, before signing off, I would like to conclude with a song tribute dedicated to my Handsome Dude set to the lyrics of his favorite song.

Please.

Try and contain your excitement.

Let me know if you need me to get you the information so you can download this song for your IPod.

***

One, Two

Buckle my Shoe

Three, Four

Shut the Door.

Five, Six

2009_9_08 025

Pick up Sticks.

Seven, Eight

Lay them Straight.

Nine, Ten

That’s the End!

 

Happy Birthday, Handsome Dude!!!

Posted in Song Tributes, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Fact Check, 2010

Posted on March 23, 2010 by Taylor

Just a quick little post I need to do to make some corrections.

It is my duty to bring you nothing but useless, yet factual, information.

1)  In my post yesterday, I mentioned James referring to BBDs as underwear.

Well, my friends, I have a hearing problem.

It is true.

I am nearly deaf in one ear.

Turns out he was saying BVDs, and according to two very reliable sources , BVDs stand for Bradley Voorhees and Day.

And apparently they are, in fact, underwear.

There you go.

You learn something new everyday.

2)  I blabbed to everyone what Jason’s nickname was in my post Jas-Bud-Dooter-Tooter.

Remember Jason?

I made the mistake of going to The Lumberjack, Jason’s loving older brother,  to find out what Jason’s nicknames were.

I already knew of Jas-Bud.

The Lumberjack informed me that Jason’s other nickname was Dooter Tooter.

Turns out, Jason’s other nickname was actually Putt-Putt.

Interruption:  Let’s pause for a moment to admire my mother-in-law’s creativity with nicknames for her offspring.

Thank you.

Guess whose nickname was, in fact, Dooter Tooter.

Nice try, Lumberjack.

Or should I say Nice try, Dooter-Tooter.

Nice try.

3)  I have recently won two thingie-ma-bobs in the blogging world.

Whaaat?!

Crazy.

First, I won the sunshine award from Rebecca D.

Go say Hi! to Rebecca!

And secondly, I won a cookie sheet in a giveaway from Jo at Blog-Diggity and CSN Stores.

Go say Hi! to Jo!

4)  And finally, there is one very important picture I would like to close with.

Just for kicks and grins.

 

That there is my super cool pal, Sarah.

Holding a t-shirt honoring wolves.

You can’t get much cooler than wolves.

100 (meaningless) points to anyone who can guess why I felt the need to snap a picture of this shirt.

Hint:  It has to do with a tv show.

Happy Tuesday!

This is Taylor, signing off.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Not Me! Seattle Edition

Posted on March 22, 2010 by Taylor

Alright, folks.

Don’t hate me, but I am going to give this whole “Not Me!” posting thing a try again.

Yes, I realize that in the past all that has resulted from Not Me! posts is me leaving you in utter confusion.

But I will not let that deter me!

I will not lose heart!

I can, nay, I will do this.

And you will like it.

****

Interruption:  This Not Me! post is brought to you by my recent weekend getaway with 25 or so of my fellow children’s ministry peeps to the lovely city of Seattle.

*Disclaimer-Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

The Car Ride

I did not kindly inform our driver, James, that I was B-O-R-E-D about 72 times.

I did not have to stop and use the restroom about once an hour.

I do not blame my bladder issues on the fact that I have had four children.

And I most certainly do not go into denial every time I realize that yes, I have four children.

Nor do I panic.

4 kids?

What were we not thinking?

Hmmmm . . . .what was I talking about?

Clearly, I do not get easily sidetracked while posting.

No.

My posts are clear and concise.

Back to James.

 I did not take a picture of him while he was driving us safely to our destination.

No.

I would never distract him from his driving duties.

I did not hear this conversation between James and his wife, Marcia, my friend Louise, and myself.

Cast of characters:

Louise

James’ wife, Marcia

Me.

Don’t be jealous of my mad picture-taking skills.

Maybe someday you will look as good as I when someone takes your picture.

Maybe.

James:  Oh, man!  I forgot to bring my BBD’s!

Louise:  Huh?

James:  You know.  BBD’s.

Me:  James!  What are you talking about?

James:  Babe.  Help me out.

Marcia:  Well, I don’t know, hon.  Do you mean underwear?

Me and Louise:  Oh, dear.

James:  Underwear?

Marcia:  Yes, dear.  Remember when they were called BBDs.

James: Oh, yes.  What do folks call them now?

Marcia:  Well, I guess like boxers, briefs . . . you know.

Me and Louise:  Oh, dear.

James:  No.  Not underwear. You know.  The round things that play the music. 

Me:  Do you mean CD’s?

James:  Um . . . yes!  Is that what they are called?  Golly!  I thought they were called BBDs.

Marcia:  No, honey BBDs are underwear. 

Me and Louise:  Huh?

And that concludes our scintillating conversation.

100 (meaningless) points to anyone who can tell me what in tarnation James and Marcia are speaking of.

Pike Place Market

I did not get super grossed out by all the super gross fish.

And I did not stand in front of the Fish Guys waiting and hoping to catch a really cool picture of a super gross fish flying through the air.

It wasn’t working out for me.

Excuse me?

Fish Guys?

Are not you famous for throwing fish in the air?

Get to it.

I most certainly did not hope that Fish-Dude-with-his-hat-on-backwards didn’t think that I was a stalker.

Attention Fish-Dude-with-your-hat-on-backwards: 

I was frantically snapping pictures of you hoping that you would do something amazing.

You let me down, Fish-Dude.

You let me down.

You could have had a moment on my blog.

Your 15 minute of fame, if you will.

I could have given you exposure to 10, maybe 20 interested readers.

But, no.

You would not throw a fish.

You have only yourself to blame.

Check out this fish.

That fish is just nasty-wrong.

I did not scream and run in place when Nasty-Wrong fish moved.

Attention anyone who might visit this fish market in Seattle: 

IT IS A TRICK.  THE FISH IS DEAD. 

Some local ruffians thought it would be funny to attach a rope to the Nasty-Wrong Fish and move him when unsuspecting tourists are nearby.

For shame, local ruffians.

For shame.


I did not  go to the original Starbucks and not even order coffee.

Why would I do that?

That would be silly.

And, since I value my time and yours, I am going to conclude with a bunch of random one-liners, sans pictures.

You’re Welcome.

I did not eat a lot over the weekend.

I did not have trouble fitting into my pants when I returned.

I did not miss my kids.

I did not worry when the Lumberjack told me over the phone that he was taking said kids on a hike to look for horns.

I did not have to remind myself that he was not talking about musical instruments.

I do not understand my husband.

I did not worry that they would encounter a bear and tragically come to their demise.

I did not feel sad that I did not get to play Catch Phrase.

Nope.

Not even once did I get to play that delightful game.

I did not complain about my owie.

I did not cut my hand again in a different location once I returned home.

I did not miss my Lumberjack.

I did not have a wonderfully fantastic time of food, fun, and fellowship.

And, finally . . .

I most certainly did not hear a worship leader at the conference sing out loudly while teaching us a song:

“Kick the devil in the nu-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah.”

The end.

So, tell me . . . . what did you not do this weekend?

Posted in Not Me!, Uncategorized | 27 Comments

Jas-Bud-Dooter-Tooter

Posted on March 21, 2010 by Taylor

Happy Vernal Equinox!

100 (meaningless) points to anyone who knows what the vernal equinox is.

I am home safe and sound and I had a fantabulous time!

And I gained 2 pounds.

Such is life.

Thank you all for the questions!

I won’t answer them all in this post, but I hope to answer more later.

Ok.

Are you ready for an exciting questions/answers post?

I hope you got your party pants on.

Here we go:

1)  Why did you decide to start a blog?

Last spring, I barely knew what a blog was. 

One day, my dear friend Bimlissa was over.

Bimlissa:  I made a good recipe last night.

Me:  What was it?

Bimlissa:  Steak bites from The Pioneer Woman

Me: Pio-who?

Bimlissa:  You  haven’t heard of The Pioneer Woman?

Dang.

I am uncool.

Again.

I knew Bimlissa in high school.

She wouldn’t speak with my kind cause I was not as hip as her.

Now these high-school feelings of inadequacy and paranoia are sweeping over me again.

Bimlissa!

Please like me! 

Please think I am cool!

Me:  No.

So, she shows me PW’s blog.  Then she shows me something called Google Reader.  Then she puts a whole bunch of people’s blogs into said reader that we know.

Then she left.

And I went on with my life.

Later on, she asks me how I am liking blog reading.

And I have to admit to her that I don’t remember how to find these so-called blogs.

So, she shows me where they are.

And, so I begin to understand this whole blogging movement and I find it quite intriguing.

Quite.

After awhile, I decide to start my own blog so my aunties and my sister can keep up to date with my family.

So, I write my first post.

And since I know that if I give you the link, none of you will click on it (lame), I just copied and pasted it right here for your convenience.

Yeah, people.

That’s right.

I am on to your shenanigans.

Fact:  The entire post will be in italics.

Trying out this blogging thing . . .

Well, I decided to start a blog to help keep friends and family updated about our family. We’ll see how good I am at keeping up with it!

Today has been a long day of The Lumberjack working on finishing the stairs (yay!) and me chasing after kids and trying to organize our laundry room. Our laundry room has become a place to dump everything that we do not know what to do with. We really need a nice big garage to keep all of our things in (tools, nail guns, hunting gear, fishing gear, bike helmets, and so on). Speaking of nail guns, I believe The Lumberjack has like 4 or something. I find that excessive. 🙂

The upstairs of our house is almost completely finished, of course without door handles still! He is working on the stairs now, and then all that will be left of the interior is the kitchen and laundry room. Then we will work on rebuilding the porch and building a new garage and fence.

Here is a picture of our one piece of finished staircase in . . .yay! 🙂
  
Let’s examine this post, shall we?
A)  Boring.
B)  Perhaps I should put the comment about the stairs by the picture of the stairs?
C)  Now, 10 months later, all that will be will be left to finish in the interior of our house is the kitchen and laundry room. Then we will work on rebuilding the porch and building a new garage and fence.
D)  I did not call my husband the Lumberjack then.  That was a special feature I added later.  You’re Welcome.
E)  I had not yet discovered my center button, which I currently use for every post.  That was a special feature I added later.  You’re welcome.
F)  I sent an email out to everyone I knew telling them I had a blog. 
 
I think 2, maybe 3 people looked at that blog post.
 
Guess how many comments I received on that there post.
ZERO.
Hello?
Bimlissa?
Oh, friend-who-told-me-I-should-start-a-blog-and-I-read-your-blog-and-I-comment-on-EVERY-SINGLE-ONE-OF-YOUR-POSTS-and-you-could-not-be-inconvenienced-to-leave-a-simple-comment?
I know why she didn’t leave a comment.
It’s because she knows she is cooler than me.
And she doesn’t want society to know that she associates with me.
Raise your hand if you are always the uncool friend.
It’s okay.
We can work through our issues together.
 
2)  When is your birthday?
June 23, 1981
 
3)  Where did you get your sense of humor?  From your maternal side or your paternal side?
 
Hmmm . . . .
 
I would definitely say more from my maternal side.
mom and me
My mom and I were quite the lookers back there in the day.
 
My dad can be funny.
DSC_0060
But, mostly in the sense where he just gives me and my mom good material.
 
4)  How long do you think it will be before the Lumberjack will finish the under cabinet lighting?
 
Good question.
 
I don’t think he will.
 
It has been almost 7 years.
 
What does it matter anymore?
 
5)  All About Jason
 
Wow.
 
Lots of comments and questions about Jason.
 
Interruption:  Jason is the Lumberjack’s brother and he is the youngest of 4.
Yes.
He is the baby.
And he never, ever, ever gets picked on.
Ever.
 
Remember Jason?
 
 
Here are 3 of the questions asked about Jason:
1)  Does Jason have a nickname?
Yes.
It is Jas-Bud.
Oh, and also Dooter Tooter.
Feel free to use either one for your loved one.
2)  How does Jason feel about giving us all a chuckle when we see that picture?
Before I put that picture on the blog, I emailed him asking him if he minded being in my blog from time-to-time.
This was his response:
Yeah.
I don’t care.
You can write whatever you want about me.
I will let you know if I get a stalker.
 
So, as long as no one starts stalking him, we are good.
And I can keep on posting pictures of him like this:
 
 
And this:
IMG_3258
 
3)  Is Jason single?
 
Well, folks.
We had a breakthrough this week on my blog.
You see, Jason has been a pretend-reader of my blog for some time.
What is a pretend reader?
I’m glad you asked.
A pretend reader is someone who reads your blog upon occasion, but then never lets you know he/she knows your blog exists.
Well, folks.
For the first time ever, Jas-Bud-Dooter-Tooter left a comment on this here blog.
 
hey everybody,
I just wanted to say that I am glad you are all having a good laugh over my picture, and I am sorry to inform all you ladies that I am not single. I have been dating an awesome lady that is unable to say snorkel correctly. So I am thinking we are a pretty good match. I am happy to say it is going quite well.
So feel free to have more fun at my expense. really it doesn’t bother me. And Taylor good luck with nicknames. I am sure the only reason you don’t use one for me is because you can’t decide which one.
  
Jas-Bud-Dooter-Tooter!
You left a comment!
*tear*
 
Yes, folks, Jason is taken.
He has a new honey named Amy.
 
Amy.
 
Don’t feel bad that when you say “snorkle” it sounds like “snarkle.”
 
When Jason says “measure” it sounds like “may-sure.”
 
Oh.
 
And Jason can’t say my name.
 
Instead of Taylor, he says, Teller.
Alright, dudes and dudettes!
That’s all for today.
 
 Happy Sunday!
Posted in Questions and Their Answers, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The most random post. Ever.

Posted on March 17, 2010 by Taylor

 Hold on to your pants, folks!

We’ve got a lot of ground to cover.

This is going to be one random post.

Alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll-righty then!

(Name that movie)

I, yes, I, Taylor Mal-i-blah-blah am leaving this very afternoon to go out-of-town.

I am doing a lot of travelling these days.

Where in the world is Taylor San Diego?

Do you get it?

Do you get it?

I’m gonna need a 10-4 Good Buddy from anyone who gets that one.

Over and out.

I am travelling with a large group of people.

I am sharing a hotel room with 3 other gals.

Attention people travelling/rooming with me:

Here is a list of things to expect while travelling with yours truly:

1)  I get car sick. 

Like really way bad. 

Do not offer me a book.

I will get nauseous.

Do not entice me with a magazine.

I will vomit.

And for the love of everything, do not, I repeat, do not ask me to look at a map.

I am directionally challenged.

And I will vomit.

2) Since I will not be reading, please plan on chatting with me the entire way.

I am a chatty girl.

I like to chat.

Consider yourselves warned.

3)  I have a small bladder.

It would behoove you to limit my fluid intake.

4)  I will be taking a shower everyday. 

No ifs,  ands,  or buts.

I am willing to get up first in order to accomplish this.

But I will be taking a shower.

And washing my hair.

And drying my hair.

And curling my hair.

And I will put on my makeup.

And I might change my outfit twice.

But I promise I am not a high-maintanence person.

I am just really bad at picking out clothes, my skin looks terrible if I don’t have makeup on, my hair gets greasy if I don’t wash it, and drying/curling is the only way I know how to style my hair.

5)  Try not to talk to me until I have had my morning cup of coffee.

6)  Try not to talk to me until I have had my afternoon cup of coffee.

7)  I require popcorn and a diet pepsi every evening.

Just kidding.

But it would be ideal.

8)  I dislike snoring.

9)  I don’t like sleeping with pants on.

10)  I don’t like to be hot. 

Don’t touch the thermostat.

11)  I have an owie on my finger.

There is a 99% chance that I will complain about this the entire trip.

Because it really hurts, dudes.

You see, last week the Lumberjack got tired of our one knife:

There she is, folks.

Ain’t she a beaut?

We got her for our wedding.

Our one knife.

So, my Lumberjack bought a pack of 6 ginormous knives.

And on Saturday, I pulled this one out:

and chopped some lettuce for my famous taco salad.

Yes.

I make a mean taco salad.

But, alas!

I was not used to working with such a murderous weapon and I ended up slicing my finger.

It hurt.

It bled a lot.

The Lumberjack wrapped it up with a big pad of gauze.

It bled through.

He wrapped it up again.

It bled through.

I asked him if I should have a doctor look at it.

“Nah.”

Sometimes, I wonder if my Lumberjack is just really, really, really cheap.

Anyways, it has been 5 days, the cut splits open often and it hurts something fierce.

Seriously.

It woke me up 3 times last night, on account of the pain and terrible throbbing-ness.

So, there is a good chance I will be a pretty big baby regarding this injury.

“Do you want some aspirin?  You seem a bit fussy.”

(Name that Office episode)

12)  Just once, I want to play Catch Phrase.

Just once, people.

If you let me play Catch Phrase, I would be willing to negotiate throwing on some pants at night.

Maybe.

***

Random Topic Quick-Change!

 

I forgot to mention yesterday that Miss Sweet Pea also got some new glasses.

Did you all know I had a Sweet Pea?

By golly it seems I am just talking about Handsome Dude’s naughtiness, Little Dude’s preciousness, and Daisy Mae’s strangeness all the time that my mild-mannered and independent daughter Sweet Pea gets neglected.

Plus, she is ginormous now and goes off to be a big first grader every day.

My baby!

*tear*

Also, everyone must notice the side view of Miss Sweet Pea’s glasses, as they are the most exciting feature, according to Sweet Pea herself.

Simply divine, Sweet Pea.

Simply divine.

***

Random Topic Quick-Change!

Alert!

Handsome Dude has not lost his glasses.

Yet.

***

Random Topic Quick-Change!

It is time for . . . .The Comment of the Week!

Please.

Try and control your sheer and utter joy.

This week was hard!

I was cracking up quite a bit this week at all you guys and your silliness.

But this week’s winner goes to Christina!

She was commenting on the post Weekend Update, specifically on the part where I mention that I have to pause the 30 Day Shred while doing jumping jacks so I can use the facilities.

“I haven’t had to pause to go pee (while doing the 30 Day Shred), but I don’t recommend doing the video with your husband…he may come and tickle you while you are both doing jumping jacks.  And that is the G-rated version.”

Christina  Ann Jean Marie Louisa Walker!

What sorts of Tom Foolery are you and Mr. Christina doing during a workout DVD?

Goodness gracious.

Can the 30 Day Shred actually lead to High-Fiving?

I submit it cannot.

I do not, I repeat, do not want to do this DVD with the Lumberjack.

Because when I shred, I look . . . .

ridiculous.

Go say hi to Christina.

****

Final Random Topic Quick-Change!

I was wondering if we could try something new?

Por Favor?

When I come home from my glorious trip, I might be tired and in need of help with a post.

Maybe.

So, I was wondering if we could start a questions/answers thingie-ma-jibber?

I have seen other blogs do this and it looks most enjoyable.

Here’s all you have to do:

Submit a question.

It could be about anything.

It could be about me.

It could be about The Lumberjack.

It could be about Jason.

Remember Jason?

It could be about math.

Or language arts.

It could be about fallin’ trees.

It could be about potty training.

You all know I am an expert, right?

Any-who . . . .

Just try to leave a question.

Come on!

It will be fun!

Don’t be lame.

Play my game!

You will be my BFF for sure if you participate.

I promise.

Alright.

Goodbye!

Farewell!

Adios!

Posted in Comment of the Week!, Uncategorized | Leave a comment