The Lumberjack's Wife

Things are getting a bit dicey over here, Friends.

We are at T minus 4 days until this wedding, and I am hopeful that no more curve balls will be thrown my way.

I do not have much time to post, therefore, I shall make a list of a few new developments that you may read at your leisure from your non-wedding-planning home.

1. David, LD, and I went to water at the river this weekend. Shocker. While we were there, the power went out, which in turn made the sprinklers not work, so we were there to water, but could not water. Eventually, the power was restored.
2. When we got back into service, we found out Hadley decided to go and get a nose ring.
3. Also, we found out HD’s glasses broke at a basketball tournament and they had to be superglued together several times.
4. We also discovered that Auntie Dana, who lives on our property and shares our well water with us, was out of water.
5. David surprised me with the news that he noticed at the property that all our sprinkler timers stopped working and he didn’t know how to fix them, so in order to not have burnt up grass for the wedding, he would basically be living at the river from now until the wedding so he could water. And we spent an exorbitant amount of money on timers and sprinklers and hoses, so the fact that they stopped working brings us great comfort.
6. And Kate surprised us with the happy news that she had bought a puppy 7 days before her wedding.

Before David left for his new home, he had to tackle our water issue. Because, let me tell you, it is extremely difficult to wash bedding for incoming guests when one has no water. It was decided that the master bathroom toilet was broken and constantly running, therefore causing our well to run dry, hence no water. David shut off the water to that toilet and told me the water should be good to go in awhile and then he toodled off into the sunset to live at the river and water.

So. All day Sunday, I was trying to get the house ready for company and do some more wedding planning, and can I just pause and say that I am ready to stab this wedding to death? Sorry to sound violent, but I must speak my truth. Throughout the day, I was texting Auntie Dana, and our texts went something like this:

“My water is a light trickle with lots of air.”

“Oh, mine is now getting a bit stronger!”

“Check your water! I just did and I have excellent pressure!”

“Same here! Yay! I am going to finally get a shower in!”

“Hey, I just checked and I have absolutely zero water again.”

“Oh. Me, too.”

“Looks like EVERY SINGLE COW hath decided to come and get a drink of water, so we won’t have water again for awhile.”

And so on and so forth. It was a fun day. Makes you appreciate water.

Meanwhile, I am getting multiple texts from multiple people about wedding related issues and concerns and problems to solve, and one such new fun concern had a lot to do with Kate’s new puppy.

You may ask, “Taylor! Doesn’t Kate already have a puppy?!”

And I would reply, “Yes. Yes, in fact, she does. His name is Niko and he is all that is precious in this world. And I would presume I am now his official adoptive mom.”

You might also venture to ask, “Taylor! Did she plan out what was going to happen with this puppy during the wedding ahead of time?!”

And I would laugh and laugh at your silly little question, Reader. Because, no. There was no plan. There is no plan. But I guess the puppy is probably coming to our house, which is fine and great because we already have three dogs, so naturally it should be of no trouble to add a puppy to the house during this very peaceful and organized time.

After work yesterday, David swung by the house to install a new toilet. He had placed the old toilet in the shower for safekeeping while he installed the new one. Then he left the room for a bit to feed the cows, and while he was gone, LD came inside and looked like he had rolled around in dirt for 7 1/2 hours. And I was so proud because I didn’t even need to say a word, he just came up to me and said:
“Mom. I think I need a shower.”

My boy! He is growing up!

Then he came back a bit later, very confused looking.

Me: “Dude! I thought you said you were going to take a shower! Let’s go! We have stuff to do!”

LD: Mom. Why is there a toilet in the shower?

And so, things are going great over here. Thank you for asking. No, I am not stressed. I haven’t been stressed. Not even when I checked the weather forecast this morning and saw that it had dropped from 93 and sunny to 76 and a 60% chance of rain with possible thunderstorms.

No. No problems here. I am cool as a cucumber over here, washing laundry in between cows drinking water, preparing for a puppy and houseguests and a wedding, and waiting for a call back from Bob to get HD some new glasses.

Everything is A-OK.

When last we spoke, I mentioned we had 40 days to plan a wedding for our oldest daughter, Kate.

As I write this now, we have 7 days left.

And I’m fine! Everything is fine. All is well. No stress at all.

I forgot to tell you in my last post that I, myself, also had a birthday. I am now extremely old and 42.

Four

Tee

Two

I also forgot to tell you that David and I celebrated our 23 wedding anniversary, if you can even believe such a thing. Because I am old, my children are growing up. Gone are the long summer days of me at home with kids trying to entertain them and keep them fed and keep the house clean.

The boys go to work everyday. The girls have moved out.

And, so. I decided to get a summer job for the first time ever. I am working at the front desk of the pediatric office Mother manages.

Let the records show: Had I known Kate was going to get engaged and I would have a wedding to plan, I would NOT have taken on a job.

But such is life.

Mother is set to retire in November, so this is the only summer we will be “coworkers.” And Friends, there is something you must know about Mother.

She is IMPORTANT.

Goodness gracious, she is like 5 feet of administrative domination over there. And the calls she gets! The calls! And I know because I answer the phones. So, I am taking messages and putting people on hold like a champ. And we coordinate our lunch breaks and we sit in the breakroom and try to work on planning a 40 day wedding. And let’s be honest:

Teller knows nothing about planning weddings. Teller is grateful for her 5 foot tall power house of a mom who has ideas and creative juices and things.

This wedding is a TotalTeamFamilyEffort and I am thankful for this family of mine.

Let’s talk about growing grass. More specifically, growing grass at the river property which is conveniently located over an hour away.

David and I are working like a Dream Team and headed to and fro, and David, the general mastermind that he is, has figured out how to get 9 different hoses on different timers and I have no idea what’s going on, but I do mow the lawn now with the riding lawnmower and that is something of note.

Let the records show: I will never go back to a pushmower again.

Sometimes we have to stay the night at the river mid week, and on those mornings, David sets his alarm for 2:30am to get to work on time.

We are surely dedicated to this grass.

On days that I am not putting calls on hold for Mother, I am at the river with the dogs mowing and watering,.

Here is the current “worst part” of the property-

When I look at that area, I feel nothing but discouragement. I have given my all. There is nothing left to give.

My dogs are precious and living their best summer life.

The puppy brothers are pro-champion swimmers, and Charlie has always been so scared of swimming. This summer is her bravest summer yet, and because I believe you all love them as much as I do, I am sharing with you this clip of Charlie beating her brothers to the floaty toy for the first time ever.

She’s quite a leapy swimmer. And I love her.

***

I have a garden this year and my corn is certainly something to write home about. NIko, who has a crush on me, follows me everywhere, and I snapped this snap of him sitting amongst the corn as I weeded.

I just LOVE weeding.

Earlier this summer, I hatched 9 chicks and all 9 are still alive. David had this great idea and made a little “hay house” for their brooder box and it seemed to be the best brooder box situation I have ever had. Now they jump out of their hay house and peck all around the property. Auntie Dana loves seeing them from her little porch and when the sun starts to set, they head back to their hay home.

***

And now, let us travel back in time to a moment that occured approximately 30 days ago in my very kitchen.

Kate (over speaker phone with Caleb): Mom. We have decided to ask the boys to be groomsmen.

Me: Oh, that’s great. Listen, I am going to need to do some preparing and discussions with them to make sure they are well-behaved.

Kate: Actually, Caleb and I were hoping to ask them together, right now, over the phone.

Me: Oh, Kate. You know they are going to be horrible.

Kate: Just have them come here.

Me: As you wish.

And so. I get the two yahoos upstairs to the kitchen. The following conversation is true and names might be changed to protect the incident.

Viewer discretion is advised.

HD: WHAT

Kate: Boys. Caleb and I have something to ask you. We want you to be groomsmen in our wedding.

LD: Fine. How much are we getting paid?

HD: Wait a minute! What is a groomsMAID?

LD: Who do I have to touch?

Me: Dude. It is not groomsMAID. It is groomsMAN. And one of you will probably walk down the aisle with Aunt Amy, and the other with Kate’s good friend, Sally.

LD (shouting): I CALL SALLY! SHE’S HOT!

Me: Kate, let’s put LD with Aunt Amy, please.

HD: Listen, what jobs do I have to do.

Me: You aren’t working. But you do have to wear a nice outfit.

HD: That’s it. I am out.

Me: No, you are doing this.

HD: BUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT A GROOMSMAID DOES.

LD: I’ll do it, but I am not standing close to you two up there if you are going to kiss. Shaking hands only.

Me: Kate and Caleb, they are honored. Thank you for asking them.

***

I would like you all to know that I shall receive yet another jewel in my crown for helping David get an appropriate outfit for this wedding.

With his PERMISSION and KNOWLEDGE, I spent an entire day shopping for him and brought him home a few things only to have him be super difficult, want me to return EVERYTHING, and then try to find alternative clothing options on Facebook Marketplace.

David: Look! I can get some guy’s used belt and shoes for $12!

Me:

***

Me: David. You and the boys canNOT look like you are about to murder anyone during wedding photos.

David:

Me: David. You don’t have to be, like, grinning, but maybe a faint smile?

David:

Me: Please just don’t look like you want to murder anyone.

David:

Me: Please. Talk to the boys.

David:

Me: No murdering.

David:

***

Reader. I have nothing left to say.

Keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

So, I was making dinner just now, and we just completely ran out of water. Like I turn on the kitchen sink faucet, and nothing. This is the second time this week, because we apparently live in olden times over here where our well runs dry quite easily.

It is because it is Africa hot over here and everything needs water. Cows, chickens, gardens, people, washing machines-everything.

So. No water left. I cannot make dinner under these conditions, so I shall catch up on this blog.

Since, I last posted . . .

HD turned 16 and bought his first car. He is working full time this summer just doing odd jobs for people in our area with LD. Both boys leave the house everyday by 6:45 am and return filthy and sweaty and rich.

Hadley turned 19. She finished up her first year of school at our local community college. For a little summer adventure, she and Lily moved in with Alex (David’s brother) and his wife and are working over there. They are on a landscaping crew and chose that career so that they could, and I quote, “get super tan.”

Here is a picture of Hadley and Lily the night before they moved.

This picture was taken by me as David and I were sitting in our camp trailer, which, at the time, was conveniently located in our driveway.

You may ask, “Taylor! Why were you living in a trailer in your driveway?!”

Well, we decided to embark on a remodel journey of our home, complete with new sheetrock texture.

So that has been fun, as well as inexpensive.

We did get the house put back together “enough” to move in, but our remodel is far from over.

The school year ended, and Friends, this year was a doozy for me. Hardest year yet. Wasn’t sure if I could come back to teaching, I kid you not. But I got through it, and had some happy moments. And, of course, I double love my students and I do love teaching, so. I will probably continue. And at this moment, I am slated to teach a k/1 combo, but I will bet you one crisp dollar bill it will change to straight first grade.

My little Urkanian girl who started the year knowing ZERO English, wowed our entire classroom and began to read, speak and write like a total champ. She loved me, and the feeling was quite mutual, and she started writing me lots of precious notes, and also told me I was “cute” every day. So. Extra credit for her.

I wear earrings everyday, and she would always draw pictures of me and put earrings on me. The last week of school, she brought me a gift-a three pack of earrings. She asked me to wear the very sparkly diamond ones at that very moment, and sparkly diamond earrings went perfectly with my shorts and t-shirt that I was wearing that day for field day.

She would point to my shorts and say “shorts!” and then pointed to my earrings and said “ears!” then she would step back and smile and point to me and say, “cute!”

She pretty much won my heart.

LD turned 15 and we did the KitKat cake per usual. He loves getting his picture taken-especially with his mom.

And now for the most exciting update of all-

Kate and Caleb are engaged! We are very happy for them both, and we really like Caleb!

Now for the tricky part-

From the time she got engaged to the wedding . . . 40 days.

That’s it.

40 days to plan a wedding.

They have asked to have the wedding at our river property-which is all fine and dandy, but we had some damage to our property from the spring flooding. We have been working very hard to try and get our bank repaired and we had to plant new grass seed. David and I have been driving to the river about every other day to keep the sprinklers going and to try and make this all happen.

Friends.

I do not know if this is going to happen.

We had to dig a trench and bury some rock to build up the bank. Do not ask me why, I simply do not know. And then we put dirt over it and planted grass seed.

Those pictures were sent to Kate and Caleb a week after their engagement. I was trying to prep them for the possibility that we might need to have a “Plan B Venue.”

Their reply?

“Nope! That looks great! Let’s have it at the river!”

So, they are basically lunatics.

I am happy to report that the grass is starting to pop up here and there. It is not a beautiful, thick, lucious lawn. It would be best described as something akin to my boys’ growing facial hair.

There is no rhyme or reason. It is growing in patches. It is noticeable, but isn’t amounting to much of anything.

Needless to say, I am a bit worried.

Will this grow into something of note in time for this wedding?

May the Lord bless me and keep me.

Another basketball season came to an end. It is hard to believe that HD only has two seasons left, and LD three. For years it felt like this season of racing around to all the different basketball games would last forever. It will be odd when it is over.

Here’s a picture of the boys together before their first game together only four years ago.

I asked them to take a redo this year and THEY SAID NO. I shall pick up the pieces of my shattered heart. Next year I will get one.

LD, aka Mr. Mullet, had a good season on JV and learned a lot. I am excited to see him play next year. Here’s a video of him during one of his best games.

He had somewhere around 27 points that game and made 5 3-pointers in a row. It was all very exciting.

Not too long after, he just came to me out of nowhere.

LD: Mom. I am going to be done with this mullet.

Me (trying to conceal my elation): Oh? Why?

LD: Because I did it. And now I am done with it.

David (laughing): Dude. That’s not even a full mullet yet! You gotta keep going!

Me: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WE WANT THIS PHASE TO BE OVER!

Anyways. He chopped it off, and a more handsome boy he could not be.

HD had a good season-it is always fun to watch him play.

HD’s Varsity season ended well, although it was definitely a very challenging season in many ways. The last game ended with a loss and they took second place.

The coach from the opposing team called him over after the game to tell him he has been watching him play since the 8th grade and has been impressed by how he plays and his attitude on the court. He told HD he was looking forward to seeing him on the court next year.

HD: Mom. He, like, knew my name!

And thus ends Basketball 2022-2023.

***

We kind of, sort of, started an entire home remodel. I think. I don’t know.

All I know is things keep getting added to the list and I suspect that within 3-7 years, we will be finished.

First, we are putting new flooring in throughout the entire house.

Here’s Hadley and LD ripping it out.

And then HD and LD installing the new flooring, which is luxury vinyl planking.

***

We still have cows.

Sometimes they live. Sometimes they die. We like when they live.

***

We flew Kate home from Kansas and took the whole family on a cruise to the Mexican Riveriera.

It feels like the kids are not only growing in age, but in stature.

We were joined by my parents and David’s parents, and let me tell you, it is no cake walk keeping track of four senior citizens and four adult/teen children.

David and I need a vacation from our vacation.

I kid! I jest!

It was fun.

Hadley and LD.

Kate and HD.

All four kids at dinner one night. Guess how many photo attempts this took plus death threats upon the boys if they wouldn’t cooperate.

Go ahead. Guess.

Our ship had an indoor trampoline park and the boys fancied jumping for one hour together one day. So I took those two yahoos and went to sign them up.

For the purposes of this story, it is important for you to know that HD is 15 and LD is 14 and LD is the tallest of our four kids AND weighs the most AND needs to shave.

Yes. Let that all sink in for a moment.

Anyways.

Employee: I am so sorry ma’am, but they cannot jump together.

Me: Oh?

Employee: Yes, you see, you see, your youngest is not yet old enough to jump with the 15+ group, so he will need to jump with the 6-14 year old age group.

I display LD to him.

Me: You really want him jumping with a bunch of six year olds? He’s like 6 feet tall.

Employee: Yes, ma’am. I understand that he is definitely large, but he is not yet 15 and rules are rules.

So, I sent my 14 year old man child to go jump with a bunch of elementary aged children.

For reference, here is LD with his siblings. He is on the left.

Why he is standing as such? I have no idea. But I am pretty sure he needs to tuck in his pockets.

***

Life has been stressful and tricky for me as of late. It was nice to get away and get some sunshine.

I snapped this photo to make my teacher friends back home jealous.

It worked!

Happy Sunday!

You know what’s weird?

I’ll tell you.

The girls used to always fight over the front seat when they were in their pre-driving days. But the boys never, ever do. HD prefers the backseat and LD is always in the front.

And no one ever rants about the injustice of it all.

I take the boys to school most mornings. When we get into the car, I ask LD to set up my phone by charging it, connecting to Bluetooth, and starting my playlist on Amazon music.

My playlist is called Taylor’s Tunes. It is aptly named.

He does this for me each day. Nice boy. And my fun playlist starts playing, and the boys quickly put in their airpods to tune out my music.

LD: Mom. Please, PLEASE, please tell me “Taylor’s Tunes” is not public.

Me: Say what?

And then he popped his earbuds/airbuds/airpods in and tuned me out while I rocked it to Taylor’s Tunes, and is my playlist public? And if it was, would the world end?

My morning drive is loathesome. It takes like an hour and 10-15 minutes for me to leave, get boys to school, and then get to my school. And then when the roads are bad?

Oh, the humanity.

But I digress.

We are back to school, back in action. Monday was a humdinger because it started with an early meeting and my loathesome commute. However, when I saw my desk, it was filled with little gifts, Christmas cards, and notes from students who had brought me gifts while I was out the last few days due to surgery.

Please take a moment to read this precious letter from a student:

It brought joy to my heart.

“And I also hope you were snug and cozy in your bed and after you got surgery you weren’t hurting.”

The ear is doing well, but is still quite sensitive to loud noises, especially if I, myself, am the one speaking loudly. So, during the day, I usually have a cotton ball in my ear to muffle the sound.

Because, SOME times, I have to use a “teacher voice.”

And the other day, a second grader came up to me and said:

“Oh, Cool, Mrs. M! You have an airpod in your ear!”

And I think that if she reports at home that teachers at school walk around with airpods in their ears, Imma gonna have some explaining to do.

Airpod? Earbud? Airbud?

Let’s move on.

My best girl, Matilda, went and had herself a baby on Monday.

Matilda is, in fact, a cow.

The cow did not have Matilda’s beauty, but I am always willing to overlook such things and cherish the little beings for who they are.

On Monday, we went back to school and then had basketball games into the wee hours of the night. When we got home, David went to check on the cows and came back to gave the grim news:

Matilda’s calf was not well.

Reader. It was after 10pm and we were so tired. But, what can you do? David went out to retrieve the calf, all while fighting poor Matilda off, and I found old blankets and towels to lay down by the woodstove.

We brought the calf in by the fire. We did everything we could think of to help him, but about an hour later, he died right in our arms.

I might need to be done with this. The sadness is just too much. And then Matilda is walking around mooing for her baby, and it is probably just because she has an udder full of milk, but my feelers get all sad because I am certain she is missing her baby.

Was I meant to live this life?

No.

But I will probably remember this night. Because Hadley and the boys were home, and we were all a part of it, all working to try and help. And that was something.

Let’s move on and talk about the fabulous first grade.

Well. Today was fun!

As I may or may not have eluded to in the past, I have a tricky class this year. We are definitely making progress-and I love them with my whole entire being-but, somedays can be tricky.

Me: D, I need you to look at the book when we read it.

D: Oh, ok.

We read. He’s not looking. He is rubbing all around in his hair. And, Reader. You might THINK it would make total sense to firsties that in order to read, ONE MUST ACTUALLY LOOK AND TRY. But this is sadly not reality.

D: Oh! Look! I just pulled a bug out of my hair!

D is one of my special friends who literally has to sit next to me ALL day. Needless to say, my head has itched all day.

I tried to keep this whole situation as discreet as possible. I wrote a private note and sent him to the office with it and the other students were none the wiser.

But, then, Reader! But, then!

He was back in class within ten minutes. With a note that just read, “returning to class.”

And there he was.

Now, Reader. The policy on headlice has changed 4.2 billion times in my lifetime. And that seems excessive, seeing as how I am 41 years old. So, I don’t know what to do.

But here’s what I do know: I don’t know.

So. D came back to class. And I kid you not, a couple hours later, he told me about another bug he pulled out of his hair, and oh mylanta, what’s a girl to do?

Another student was acting ALL SORTS of out of sorts. And every time I asked him to do ANY SIMPLE THING, he would look at me and shout

“I NOT TAKE MY PILL TODAY.’

So, that situation? Also fun.

But what was more fun? WIld boy or bug boy?

You be the judge.

Anyways. I was feeling all discouraged today, and then a student wrote “GIRLS SUCK” on a testing folder and I just accepted that at that moment, my life was mimicking, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

But don’t feel TOO badly for me, Reader.

Nay.

I gave them a math quiz right before they went to art class. And, Reader. At the beginning of the year, ONE STUDENT was scoring at grade level for math. Needless to say, we have been hitting math pretty hard.

Well.

We have been practing and working and thinking and asking to go to the bathroom and working and asking for a drink of water and working and thinking and have been worried about why Sally is doing this and Johnny is doing that, and I am happy to report that through it all: ALL students, minus one, scored at grade level for our recent test.

So I shall have this day for rejoicing.

Because, Reader.

I taught the snot out of that lesson. Them kids knew what math.

In fact. I bet you that the lice who may or may not be living on top of D’s head ALSO could have passed that math lesson.

Happy Thursday.

The dogs dropped this partial skull off in a bush-

-so that’s fun.

Do not ask me to identify who/what the skull belonged to or tell you from whence it came.

I know not.

Handsome Dude got his driver’s license and allowed me to snap this photo provided I permit his dog pal, Norman, to be in the picture.

He is proving to be an excellent and most responsible driver and has so far aired up the tires of my car before leaving more than I ever have.

Basketball is on like Donkey Kong over here. The boys have a major fan club full of relatives and loved ones who come to each game and cheer them on.

Mother and I were noticing how shabby the Varsity boys basketball uniforms were getting, so I mentioned this to HD and he said, and I quote,

“Tell me about it. I hate them. And they make me look fat.”

So, in order for you to visualize this weight problem of HD’s, I would like to present to you this photo:

Here he is making a fancy reverse layup sort of move, and he sure looks like he could lose a few pounds, you know?

Every night at dinner before he dishes his plate, he has the audacity to start making himself a huckleberry milkshake for his dinner time beverage.

Me: Dude. What are you doing?

HD: GOSH. I am making a milkshake.

Me: It is dinner. You can have a milkshake after dinner.

HD: MOM. You can see all of my bones.

Me: Fair enough.

Speaking of the boys’ fan club, David’s parents have recently purchased stadium seats to add to their personal comfort while they watch the game.

When Grandpa got to the game last night, he loudly announced to the dad of another player, and I quote:

“THESE STADIUM SEATS ARE GREAT FOR HEMORRHOIDS.”

And THAT, Reader, is definitely a fun and useful fact.

Anyways. We are having a swell time with basketball. HD makes the paper often for his stats, but he recently had a photo in the paper-

So, let us all be impressed with him and my ability to make secret secrets blurry.

Here is LD being all super fantastic.

Have I told you that LD is growing a mullet?

LD is growing a mullet.

Both boys started in a recent Varsity game and I got this fun bro/bro photo of them.

Can you tell I am enjoying the high school basketball years?

Let’s move on.

Kate is home from Kansas and also had the audacity to turn TWENTY years old.

Reader.

My child is 20.

How am I this old? I should probably get a stadium seat. Hemorrhoids are probably just around the corner.

Hadley is missing Kason again. He is being most important and is aboard an ice cutter ship headed for Antarctica.

And look at this picture he sent me:

One evening, Hadley was being a trifle moody, which is so ODD for daughters, you know? Anyways, Kate made some sort of complaint and Hadley made this statement:

“At least YOUR boyfriend is on US soil!”

And if that isn’t just the best quote to end all quotes. I need a shirt made with that one. Imma gonna wear it as I carry my stadium seat into the gym to prevent hemorrhoids and cheer for my overweight son and my other mullet-sporting son. Getting old sure is something.

Calves.

Let’s discuss them.

One handsome boy was born bright and early on New Years Day. I went out to check on him before dark and this is what I saw.

Now, I am no cow rancher, but this certainly did not look good.

Somehow the cows had pushed this feeder all around and I couldn’t get inside to help him and mama couldn’t get him, and if you take a good look at him, he sure doesn’t look capable of helping himself.

In fairness to him, he was probably 12 hours old at the time. So, we will grant him grace.

I texted for David to come help me, because he is the one pretending we are ranchers, and I waited with the little guy and snuck in tons of pets while the mama yell-mood at me. I even turned him right side up.

So, I am basically a hero. Then David came and we got him out and he and his mother made lots of concerned moos at each other and walked off into the dusk for a nursing sesh.

Anyways we have had four calves born this season, but one has died. And here are your obligatory cow pictures, for your viewing pleasure.

Bunch of good looking gals, I tell ya.

Awhile back, I mentioned we took back one of Mama’s kittens, Bear, and he ran away, but then was found in the hay barn.

We do see him from time to time, but it has been awhile since I have had a Bear sighting. We had quite the cold snap recently, and I was worried he might not have survived.

Today I went out to the hay barn with fresh food and he came right to me.

I grabbed him and brought him to the house, but he has mistaken us all for serial killers and finds us to be loathesome.

I opened the door and he bolted right back to the hay barn.

So. We have a legit barn cat now. Named Bear.

Alright.

Have a good day.

This is how Rio chooses to get my attention while I am preparing my Christmas cards.

Because we have literally NO control over our bull, our cows have started calving. And, Reader. It is frigid out there.

Here is calf number one. She is called Poppie, short for Popsicle.

She has a good mama who bundles her up in the hay.

Calf Number 2 did not fare well. He was brought into the house by the fire. David and I gave him an antibiotic and tube fed him, and hoped for the best.

But he died in the night.

Right on the floor of my very own home.

David and I went out of town for one night, and of course, while we were away, another calf was born in the frigid temps. The kids were certain the calf was doomed and also brought him into the house by the fire.

I pleaded with them over the text messaging. I asked them to please put a few blankets under the calf.

Yes. This is the picture I received from my kids when I was miles upon miles away. And every text I sent them requesting a picture of the calf on TOP of SOMETHING, went unanswered.

It was radio silence, my friends.

Bad News: The kids did not protect the carpet.

Good News: The calf survived.

News of Hope for a Future: HD carpet cleaned the carpet area where the calf resided so it would be all clean when we got home.

David and I went to check on the little guy when we arrived home.

All is well. His name is G.W. Just because it is.

Basketball is in full swing and my boys are basically super stars. But this we knew.

They had a game a bit ago and it was NOT going well. They were down by about 14-20 points the entire game, but in the fourth quarter, they started to come back. They were down by two points with 2.3 seconds left in the game and HD was fouled on the shot.

Reader. He had to take his two shots in front of everyone in the world, plus their mothers, and he took them AND HE MADE THEM. He tied the game, they went into overtime, they won by 9. He had 19 points. *My Hero*

Today is Friday. I had ear surgery on Wednesday.

I have had hearing loss since childhood. I had surgery when I was 12 and had a prosthetic put into place at that time, but my hearing has gotten worse. On Wednesday, they removed the old prosthetic, which was detatched and “flapping around” and put in a new one. My ear is not feeling top notch and I have cotton stuffed inside of it, but I think I can already hear better.

When I came out of surgery, I asked David,

“How do I look?”

And he said,

“Well. You have looked worse.”

And so, now, I would like to announce my new life verse for the week.

It can be found in the third chapter of Lamentations.

“So I say, ‘My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped for from the Lord.”

Happy Friday.

We had a surprise snow day this week, and, Reader, may I take this moment to tell you that the surprise snow day is one of THE best perks to being a teacher.

The boys and I spent the entire day at home, driving absolutely nowhere, and hanging with the poochies. The dogs act like they have never seen the world before when there is snow, and all was just happy in our little home.

And then. Then HD decided to plow snow. And as he was on a gigantic machine, he called me, and this was the conversation.

HD: Mom. I am trying to plow and I need to LD to get this dead chicken from the driveway. I asked him and he said I needed to “be a man” and get the chicken myself.

Me: How did the chicken die?

HD: I don’t know! Dogs? Snow? Can you get him out here!?

Me: Ok.

Me to LD: Dude. Go outside and pick up the dead chicken.

LD: HD can do it.

Me: No. You need to do it. Now.

LD: Fineeeeeeeeeeeeee.

LD goes outside in shorts, a t shirt, and sandals to address the dead chicken issue.

He comes back.

LD: Mom! What do you want me to do with the dead chicken!?

Me: I don’t know! Something!

LD: Mom!

Me: Get a paper Winco bag. Stick the dead chicken in the Winco bag and set it on the porch for someone to take the dump.

LD: Fineeeeeeeeeeeeee.

HD comes in later from plowing.

HD: Mom! Why is there a dead chicken in a Winco bag on the front porch?!

Me: For someone to take the dump!

HD: Why would you do that? Why wouldn’t you throw it into the woods?

Me: Feel free to throw it into the woods.

No one threw it into the woods. And the dead chicken was forgotten about for a few days and sat on the porch in the brown Winco bag.

Because that is how normal we are.

We had company for Thanksgiving. Getting ready for company at my house is always a treat. Because I tend to look at things like baseboards and windows and panic and try to clean them, and then when the house is almost clean, I notice that David put these in the woodbox:

I mean. How can I even prepare my house for guests when my own kin are working against me.

Me: David!? Why are there cow legs in the woodbox?

David: They aren’t cow legs. They are ELK legs.

Me: Why are they in the wood box?

David: So they can thaw out. I am going to make a gun rack with them.

???

Me: No.

David: Yes.

Me:

He finally agreed to remove them, however, I neglected to make it abundantly clear that I needed them NOT in the home, and he just stuffed them in another room and Norman the dog found them and there were elk legs all about the house.

Let’s talk about having company at my house.

It is a hot mess.

As soon as company arrived, the dogs unearthed a gut pile and had a joyous holiday week bringing us bits and pieces of discarded carcasses.

So. I would be making sure the living room was dusted and vacummed without realizing that before guests would enter my clean home, they had to step over this:

I surely hope my guests admired my dustless windowsills.

I mean, these dogs were relentless. They would not stop bringing in body parts.

Me: Ugh! The dang dogs brought in another cow foot! Someone please pick it up.

Family: What should we do with it?

Me: Put it in a Winco bag! We’ll take it to the dump.

Yes. This is my life.

And maybe I should do a commercial for Winco.

Winco. Not only do I find affordable prices on groceries the whole family enjoys, I get to choose brown paper bags to take home for all my carcass disposal needs!

***

A new student joined my fabulous first grade. This little guy is very, very low academically. Sad news is, he is already leaving again. Moving to a new school. Had him for about two weeks.

But anyways. He needs some extra support. On his “Thankful” piece, I had an aide use a highlighter to write what he wanted to say so he could trace it.

After he was done, he took a black marker and wrote an “M” on it and came up to me.

He said, “I am thankful for Mrs. M.”

So. That’s why I have the best job in the world.

***

My friend asked me to take in her cat. This cat originally came from my home during the Covid quarantine of 2020 when 16 kittens were born in my own, obviously clean and sanitary, house. This cat is now 2 years old and his name is Bear. He is the son of Mama Kitty.

Mama Kitty. Best Mama Cat ever.

Yes. There is a giant skull on my wall. Is there one on yours?

Anyways.

Bear lasted about 12 hours in our house and decided he had had quite enough of my 3 dogs and 3 cats and he ran away. We looked for quite a few days, but he was gone.

About 2-3 weeks later, I spotted him living his best life in our hay barn! Glory! He was alive. And then we thought about it and talked about how we had noticed Mama Kitty going out to the hay barn a lot lately, so we are all agog with her and sure that she has remember he is her son and she went out there to teach him how to slay mice and survive in the wild.

Such a good Mama.

***

All four kids were home for Thanksgiving.

Twas lovely.

***

Something might be wrong with my email subscription feature.

But I don’t know what, nor do I understand how to fix it.

Ok.

Happy Friday!