The Lumberjack's Wife

Yes, hello.  Good morning.

I want to thank you all for the horrific bunny stories you left me this weekend.  Good times.

I think I need to clear something up with you all:  This was not my idea.

It was someone else’s.

Darn him.  Darn him and his swooning ways.  And his crazy rabbit-breeding ideas.  And his darn dream house being in Ruralville.  And his two stuffed bucks mounted on my peach walls.

Darn.

Anyways.  What you must understand, and this may come as a complete shocker to you all, is this:  me and my husband are nothing alike.

It’s true!

Shall I show you some examples to further make my point?

His idea of target:

My idea of Target:

His idea of a fun Saturday:

My idea of a fun Saturday

Also:

1.  Whilst growing up, he was in 4-H.  In his lifetime, he has had pigs, cows, chickens, and a horse.  And perhaps a lamb, but I cannot be certain.  And, I am feeling too lazy to do any fact-checking.

2.  Whilst growing up, I had an obese cocker spaniel named Joey who I pretended was going to be my secret husband.  Which is completely healthy.

Here is a picture of me and my dog, in the earlier days . . . before either of us got chubby.

Don’t be jealous of my hair.  I will let you copy me.

That’s my ma in the background in her jammies!  Hi, Ma!

3.  He earned a pig trophy when he was young.

4.  I, most certainly, did not.

5.  I was on the drill team.

6.  He, most certainly, was not.

6.  One of his favorite books:  “How To Be Your Own Veterinarian.”

7.  My favorite books:  Anything from the highly acclaimed “Babysitters Club” series.

8.  My chore list would include things such as, vaccuum, dust, and mop.

9.  His chore list?  Re-roof the chicken coop, mow the orchard, clean out the pig pen and paint the fence.

10.  I pronounce the word, “creek” the right way by actually saying, “creek.”  He says “crick.”  And he is certain that he is correct.  But never in my life have I seen two “e’s” make the short “i” sound.  I don’t say, “my fit hurt.” No.  I say, “my feet hurt.”

It’s a good thing I am the teacher over here.

My point in all of this?  I don’t remember.

I think I am showing you all how different my husband and I are.

But, who knows?

*Random Topic Quick Change!*

I got a new table!  With six chairs!  And four matching bar stools!

We got said table the day after our dinner company came.  This is my life.

Perhaps some day I will show you a picture.

But not today.

I need to get in the shower.

*Random Topic Quick Change!*

I didn’t just pretend clean my house this weekend, dear readers.

Oh, no.

I actually cleaned it.  Like good.  And it was clean for at least an hour.  Which was impressive and, quite possibly, a new record.

*Random Topic Quick Change!*

Is today some sort of holiday?  Like President’s Day or Teacher Inservice day or I Am Not In The Mood To Homeschool Day?

Don’t get your panties in a bunch.  I shall do it.  But I don’t have to like it.

*Random Topic Quick Change!*

I have tried on numerous occasions to understand the game of football.  It is beyond me.  What is up with the downs and the yards and the penalties and such?

I did enjoy some delicious snacks yesterday.  So that was fun.

David was making fun of me, which he likes to do upon occasion and he asked me on the way to church yesterday if I even knew who was in the Superbowl.

Me:  Nope.

David:   Dork.

Me:  Wait!  I thought it was weird this week because  on Facebook, Bimlissa’s baby was dressed up wearing some huge, yellow hat that looked like cheese.  That was strange.  So, maybe that had to do with the Superbowl.  And cheese is from Wisonsin, so . . . my guess is some team from Wisconsin is playing.  Oh!  And my dad was born in Wisconsin, and he like some team called Green Bay, so I guess Green Bay is in the Superbowl.

David:  Yup.

See, folks!?  I am not brainless!

That was deductive reasoning at its finest.

Special shout out to the magic of Facebook and Bimlissa with her cheese-wearing baby.

***

It is 7:11am and my kids are all asleep.

I just thought you might like to know.

This is Taylor Maliblahblah signing off to go get in the shower and get myself all purty for a day of homeschooling, laundry, child-rearing, and rabbit monitoring.

Happy Monday!

A Friday List.

1.  Did I mention that my children are raising rabbits?  Yes?  No?  Yes?

2.  Well, they aren’t exactly raising rabbits yet.  But that is the grand master plan.  We have ten rabbits and the girls are trying to earn money for a horse. 

Please excuse this interruption while I speak to one specific reader: 

Dear Mindee,

Yes.  I have received your ample and thorough warnings against getting a horse. 

However.

 I regret to inform you that this is my husband’s idea and he is a terrible force to be reckoned with.

Thank you for your concern,

Taylor

3.  The kids are loving the bunnies.  I think this whole experience will at least be a good lesson for them.  Every day, no matter how cold it is, they have to go out and care for the rabbits.  They even get to play with them a bit.

You can’t really tell from this picture, but that bunny is ecstatic.

Little Dude with the smallest bunny.

Is not Little Dude the cutest little dude in the whole world?

You can’t really tell from this picture, but that bunny is terrified.

Sweet Pea has actually had a rabbit since September and has taken excellent care of her.  Her name is Elizabeth Bunny and she is not pictured.  She is too busy being uber jealous of the new rabbits and giving Sweet Pea the cold shoulder.

So cute!

On a side note, let’s say a prayer for all bunnies to be held by Little Dude.

4.  On Wednesday, it was discovered that a gray bunny had gone missing.  This was odd because it shared a cage with two other rabbits and they were still there, plus all the doors to the hutches were latched.  Nevertheless, the bunny was gone.  Sweet Pea was a wreck and could not stop crying.

It was a bad hare day.

ha!  Now, you must admit it  . . . that was clever.  I also thought of:  Hare today, gone tomorrow.  And a hare-raising experience.

My creativity knows no bounds.

5.  Sweet Pea found the bunny yesterday!  It was a joyous reunion and we are hoping that no bunnies go missing again.

6.  Let us stop discussing rabbits, shall we?

7.  Some of you might recall that earlier last year, I was diagnosed with high cholesterol.  I am sure you have been on pins and needles simply worrying about me.

I bring you news of good tidings!  I have successfully lowered my cholesterol 90 points without a prescription!  I used red yeast rice and niacin supplements, gave up beef, limited lots of other meats, and ate low fat dairy.

Yay, me!

I would like to take this moment to thank my husband for killing both an elk and a deer and stocking our freezer with this foreign meat. 

This new culinary journey has greatly assisted me in my attempts to avoid meat products.

Mmmmm . . . elk.  And deer.

Nasty.

Fun Fact:  I was feeling lazy, so I sent Sweet Pea out to take this photo.  There is actually more meat than this.

8.  It’s time for the COW!

The COW stands for the Comment of the Week.

This week’s goes to Shannon from Blessed with These.

Taylor- I will personally purchase your first jean jumper, if you promise to wear it! Then I can bring my kids to your farm and you can be the nice, albeit weird farm lady. Side note: We once had breeding rabbits- not good, so not good. They are born without fur and very small, ours fell through the cracks in our cage and the dog got them. Yuck! We are not reliable pet owners. No, we are not.

Shannon!  No, you are not!  I asked my husband if that would happen to us and he laughed at you!  ha!  It’s pretty sad that my crazy, not-so-safe husband found that funny!

And I guess we have some sort of something that will prevent that from happening, according to Sir Lumberjack himself.

And I’ll wear a denim jumper when you wear one.

9.  Finally, my friend Angela made a button for me! i love it and I think she did a fantastic job! If you would like to use it, you may.  But no worries if you’d rather not.  I will still like you.

Go say hi to Angela, if you have time!  She’s the bees knees.

Side note:  I put the wronk link it at first.  My apologies if you were taken to a very naughty site instead of dear Angela’s!  Oopsies!

Alright!  Happy Weekend!

What are your plans?

We are having company for dinner so I am busy making my house look “pretend-clean.”

Holla!

Feeding Kids.

My kids always eat everything I give them and they love it and they love me and they sing my praises at each meal and beg for more and lick their plates clean and no one complains and everyone speaks nicely and uses their manners and they inform me of my awesomeness constantly and they always use their napkins and sit on their bottoms and clear their plates and sweep the kitchen floor.

Kind of.

Ok, so not at all.  But, I cook what I cook and they have to eat it.   I have four kids and I don’t have time to worry about what each person loves and does not love.  There are some minor exceptions.  For example, Daisy Mae hates meat in the ball form.

Why?

We cannot be certain.  She is my biggest meat eater out of all the kids, but you show her a meatball and it gives her, and I quote, “A head-ick.”

That would be “daisy-mae” for headache.

And the bigger the meatball, the bigger the head-ick.

So I don’t mind if she leaves out the meatballs.

Little Dude loves peas.  He cannot get enough of them.  And his diapers are evidence of that, if you know what I am talking about.  And if you don’t know what I am talking about . . . lucky you!

But Little Dude despises green beans.

And Sweet Pea can’t stop eating green beans.

So, there you have it.  There’s no pleasing my fickle bunch.

But here are some things that are usually pretty big hits with the kids:

Smaller sized fruits:

blueberries, grapes, mandarin oranges, strawberries

Note:  I never give them regular oranges.  They simply do not know what to do with the pale, white-ish, thin skin that covers oranges.  Hence, they spend most of their time spitting out said white stuff and asking me what is all over their “or-nanges.”

Vegetables-

raw carrots, peas, and green beans

Vegetables are hit and miss.  Ranch can be your friend.

Fun Fact:  I have a nephew who hates potatoes in all forms.  Even French Fries.  I wish I hated French Fries.

Yum!

For breakfast, we usually do cereal, toast, or pancakes.

For lunch, we do bean and cheese burritos, chicken noodle soup, and sandwiches.

Some fun things we do:

When eating chicken noodle soup, I give them a straw and let them suck up the broth.

I must admit, it has been my finest parenting moment to date.

When making sandwiches, we sometimes use large cookie cutters to cut them into shapes.

My kids are homeschooled.  Sandwiches in shapes easily excites them.  What can I say?

And, finally, I wanted to share with you a recipe that my kids love.  I love to make it when I have leftover Spaghetti Sauce (with meat) and leftover cooked noodles-that makes it super fast to throw together.

(This recipe comes from The Dinner Doctorby Anne Byrne.)

Spaghetti Casserole

Ingredients:

1 T olive oil

1 pound ground beef (or in my case elk-ha!)

1/2c chopped onion (I omit)

1 clove garlic, peeled and cut into slices

1 can (10.75oz) cream of mushroom soup

1 1/2 cups of your favorite tomato-based pasta sauce

1 cup shredded cheddar cheese (or sometimes I sub mozzarella)

4 cups cooked spaghetti

2 T shredded Parmesan cheese

Directions:

1.  Preheat oven to 400 degrees

2.  Cook beef in olive oil with onion and garlic.  Drain.

3.  In a large bowl, combine the beef, soup, pasta sauce, 1/2c cheddar cheese, cooked spaghetti, 1/2c water and stir to mix.

4.  Transfer to a 13×9 glass dish and sprinkles all but the remaining 1 T of cheddar and 1T of Parmesan

5. Bake until heated through, about 18-20 minutes.  Sprinkle the remaining cheeses and serve.

It comes out creamy and cheesy.  This picture was even taken the next day after I reheated it.

The kids love it!

And they never spill any of it on the off-white carpet.

So, what about you?  What are some of your favorite tips for feeding little ones?

Happy Thursday!

 I am joining in with Kelly’s Korner on Show Us Your Life. 

(I am joining in on Kelly’s Korner today.  This is a post about a fun, different school day we had.  For more on our curriculum, click here.  Thank you for visiting!)

Is funnest a word?

Probably not.

Yesterday, we went to town for piano lessons.  I was planning on getting right home so we could start some school work (yay).  But then, my darling Handsome Dude asked,

“MOOOOOOM!  Could you I go to da Wybrary? I want dinosaurs jumping on da bed book!”

And who am I to stifle a young boy’s craving for good literature?

So, to the library we went.  And darn our luck, but a story time for 2’s and 3’s was beginning in 15 minutes.  And my Handsome Dude noticed this.

Oh, yes.  He is getting to the age where he “notices” things.  This is discouraging.

So, I set the girls up to explore the children’s library on their own for a bit so I could take my 2 and 3 year olds to the story time.

I used to take the girls to the story time often when they were little.  And I remembered something as I sat there with my boys . . .

I hate the story time at the library.

I know.  I am sure you are all aghast. 

But I hate it.  I do.  I really do. 

Making 20 toddlers/preschoolers sit in a room and listen to four books is torturous for the parents.  I also fear it is a place where parents’ can’t help but compare their children to other children. 

Oh.  Look at that girl.  She has sat and quietly listened the whole time.  Why can’t my kid do that?

Oh, my.  That boy is asking such intelligent questions.  My boy is just picking his nose.

Oh, good.  That kid is being really naughty.  At least my kids aren’t doing THAT.

I will have you know that my boys were not naughty at all.  At least, in my opinion.  But they were weird and creepy.  Handsome Dude refused to look at the librarian and would only sit ON me.  Little Dude was trying to snuggle and take a nap.  Handsome Dude asked every two minutes if we could leave cause doesn’t like any of this.

So.  It wasn’t fun.  Surprise.

But then that darn librarian had the audacity to inform the 2 and 3 year olds that they could join her in another room for a craft.  And guess whose kids decided that would also be fun?

Handsome Dude always chooses pink.  Just an FYI for you.  Not that I am concerned.  Just informing you.

So.  That fun lasted for a total of 45 minutes.  And we still hadn’t found the dinosaurs jumping on da bed book.

An hour and a half after we first entered the library, we left.  We currently have about 40 items checked out between two cards and none of them are the dinosaurs jumping on da bed book.

And Handsome Dude is letting his displeasure for that fact be known.  Often.

So then we were starving and had about a 45 minute drive home.  And who can wait that long to eat?  Not me.  So, we went to Wendy’s.  When I brought the tray of food to the table, Handsome Dude shouted for all the world to hear:

“You are da BEST Mom in da whole wibe word!!!!”

Attention parents: Chicken nuggets will redeem you for not being able to fix the fact that the dinosaurs jumping on da bed book has been checked out by another lucky boy.

We got through Wendy’s without any incident and started our journey home. 

But then, I got a hankering to go shopping.  I have limited options in the Ruralville area.  But I have found that if I take a small detour and head west for about 20 minutes, I find a cute, small town with a cute, small shop and a cute, small park.

I got to shop for a bit and the kids were . . . pretty good. 

 The shop owner lady was super nice and she made all the kids a hot chocolate-for free!

Little Dude can hardly contain his excitement for his warm, chocolatey drink.

The kids wanted to play at the park, even though it was probably about 20 degrees out.

Then, my kids, decided they should gather up all the branches that were lying around and organize them into one, nice pile.

Because everyone knows branches cannot just be littered all over the place. 

I wonder who they get that from?

Tis a mystery.

And, just to show you how cold it was-

Here is Sweet Pea on ice.

So, we loaded up into the rig.  And I still didn’t want to go home.  Do you ever have those days . . . where you just have to do something different?

We took a drive.  Our Ruralville house is near the lake, so we went exploring a bit around there.

And we counted 14 deer.  Which was fantastically exciting, even for a little boy who was still reminding his mother about his unhappiness over the aforementioned dinosaur jumping on da bed book.

And, as we were driving down our road, we saw 45 turkeys in the field next to us.

And we watched them fly up into their nests!  All of them!

Science . . . check.

See?  We didn’t completely bail on homeschooling.  I figure we got in music (piano), reading/library time, and science.  Oh!  And PE for the park.

Then we arrived home and the girls had to tend to their TEN rabbits.

Oh!  Did I forget to mention that we now own ten rabbits?  Silly me.

Ooh!  That was more science.

Yes.  And soon we will get chickens and goats and probably like milk the goats or something different like that and make our own candles and knit and grow garden-like stuff and can stuff and maybe get a cow named Bessie and I shall wear jumpers every day and gather eggs in my denim dress as I wear birkenstocks and have hair down to my knees that I wear in a super fat braid.

Not that there’s anything wrong with any of that.

And we have 3 boy rabbits and 7 girl rabbits, which will only enhance my up and coming science lecture on How Babies Are Made.

Coming sooner or later.  Hopefully later.  Much later.

Oh, and after dinner I made a cake.

Dang!  I am fantastic.

But I just had to share with you what my husband does to good, decent cake.

Ok-that is a terrible picture.  It did look edible when we were photographing it.

Anyways, he takes the cake and he dumps applesauce on it.

Gag me.  But what can you expect from a man who enjoys eating elk?

Oh, and it could not be any applesauce.  No, dear readers.  No.  It MUST be the applesauce that we make with the crazykin inlaws.  And guess what?

They ALL like to eat their cakes and other baked goods smothered with this applesauce.

THEY.

ARE.

SO.

WEIRD.

Anyways.  That was our Tuesday. 

Happy Wednesday!

PS-all my pictures were taken with my super cool phone.  Look at me with my big-girl-uploading-photos-from-her-phone-to-her-blog-pants on!

Don’t pretend you aren’t impressed.

Welcome to our first edition of Fat Tuesday 2011.

I trust you are all thrilled.

You may ask, “Taylor!  What on earth is Fat Tuesday?”

Well.  I would describe it as a accountability day for those of us who are trying to meet some healthy diet/fitness goals.  Anyone is welcome to join in anytime.  Also, anyone is welcome to bail anytime.

See!?  I am super hard core and will help you be accountable.

I am going to pump you up.

Let’s go through this week’s Wins/Fails, shall we?

I actually followed the Weight Watchers plan and I even tracked in my handy dandy points tracker thingie-ma-bob.

WIN!

Except for on Saturday.  Saturday was kind of a free for all.

Fail!

And Sunday.

Fail!

But the rest of the week was golden!

WIN!

I lost one pound!

Super Duper Shocker WIN!

I exercised with my friend Leslie Sansone two, count them, two times!

Surprising WIN!

I even walked the entire four miles each time.  Without skipping.  Or quitting early.

WIN!

Except for the stretching.  I always skip the stretching.  Who needs it?

Serene and Soothing FAIL!/Time Saving WIN!

On Saturday, I hauled a lot of brush and branches for my darling, Lumberjackish husband.  I will count this as exercise, cause I certainly can’t count it as fun.

WIN!

I also cooked elk meatballs.

Good Wifey Win!

Sanity Fail.

I ate garlic bread.  Yum!

FAIL!

I ate a second piece of garlic bread.

Fail!

I ate 3-5ish more pieces of garlic bread, depending on how truthful I am feeling.

FAIL!

I was 4thplace in the Biggest Loser Contest I joined.  But my friend SHELLY messed up with her math calculations and I was really 5th.

Shelly FAIL!

And, for all you smartie-pantsies out there who are snickering, NO, there are not FIVE people in the contest.  There are TEN.

ThankYouVeryMuch.

So, how about you?  Did you meet your goals?  Do you have any yummy, lowfat recipes to share?  Any fun exercise ideas?

Did you also eat garlic bread?

Let us know in the comments section.  If you have your own blog, leave the link to the post in the comments section if you would like, or just check in with a comment.

Happy Tuesday!

PS-I also ate a french fry.  Or seven.  But it was off someone else’s plate, so it doesn’t really count.

A Friday List.

1.  I am tired.  I suspect it is because I had the audacity to wake up at 5:45am and do an exercise DVD.  Which was asinine, on my part.

Fun Fact:  Did you know that when you say “asinine” it sounds like you are being a potty mouth, but you really aren’t? 

It’s true!

And I looked it up, just to be certain.

2.  After we did our morning school session, I decided the house was in dire need of a massive clean up.

3.  I scrubbed the tub and shower and the toilets and the floors and vacuumed and did laundry.

4.  This was also asinine.

5.  I had plans to also organize a bunch of junk that is all junked around and to maybe even tidy up my closet. 

6.  But I have instead collapsed on my bed.  And since I was just on the computer to send in some school stuff, I decided to blog all about nothing.

7.  Lucky you.

8.  Would it be weird if I took a bath right now?   I certainly don’t have to worry about any surprise company popping in.

9.  However.  Two times in the past month, a strange man has come to my door demanding to know where Donna is.

10.  I know not this Donna of whom he speaks.

11.  Do you know Donna?  Maybe you can help him.  He seems certain that she should be here.  He’s slightly frustrated with me and my lack of knowledge about said Donna.  I am afraid next time, he might use potty language.

12.  I might get a table with eight chairs tomorrow off of Craigslist.   Does this excite you as much as it excites me?  If not, did you notice the part where it said EIGHT chairs?

13.  We are having people over for dinner next Saturday night and they have four children, so it would be nice to be able to seat at least half of the people.

14.  Four children!  Can you believe some people?  I mean, come on.  Enough is enough.

15.  Poor Little Dude.  He is stuck in the high chair until we get a new table.  For we can’t fit everyone at our current table.

16.  Poor Little Dude.  He is also stuck in a crib until we are able to get him into his own room.

17.  Poor Little Dude.  We have to put a window into this aforementioned room before he can sleep in it.  According to my handsome and dashing Lumberjack, this will require a concrete saw.

18.  Raise your hand if you did not know concrete saws existed.

19.  The boys were playing hide and seek last night:

Handsome Dude:  Cokey.  You sit here on the couch and I find you!

Little Dude:  O-Tay!  Come and get me!

Handsome Dude:  O-Tay!  Just a minute!

Handsome Dude runs down the stairs

Handsome Dude:  One, Two, Free, Four, Seben, Nine, Firteen, Firteen, Firteen, Twenty!  Here I come!

Handsome Dude runs back up the stairs.

Little Dude:  I’m on the couch!

Handsome Dude:  I found you!  O-Tay!  My turn!  I hide on the couch and you come and get me!  O-Tay?

Little Dude:  O-Tay!

My boys are bright, yes?

20.  Someone once asked me on this very blog why Little Dude is called Cokey.  Well, Handsome Dude has a hard time saying Little Dude’s factual name, so he just calls him, “Cokey,”, “Cokes,” “Cokey-da-bear”, and “Co-Co.”  So, if you hear me say any of those names, just make sure to remember it is Little Dude.  And if you know us in real life and cannot remember which one is Little Dude, then you will have to refer to the helpful pictoral guide located on the right sidebar of this here blog.

Keep up, people!

21.  I have recently purchased new, albeit cheap, bubble bath at the not-so-local-anymore Walmarts.  I thought you might need to know this.  In case you were still debating about whether or not I should take a bath.

21.  Why do I clean my house?  It is all in vain.  I bet it already looks messy.  I am just too tired to get up and look.

22.  This is a good reason why people shouldn’t exercise.  I mean, if they have to get up at 5:45 in order to escape the cranky-morning-children-and-their-demands-for-chocolate-milk to be able to exercise in peace and they are so exhausted from having to move so much at such an ungodly hour, then I ask you, dear readers, What Is The Point? 

23.  I am hungry for a snack.

24.  I might make pizza tonight.  If I can get up off of my exhausted bum and go prepare the dough.

25.  Oh, yes!  I must make my own.  For we have not pizza deliveries in Ruralville.  Nor do we have Donna.

26. This post has gone on long enough.

27.  Drat.  I have two “21”‘s.  That’s a shame.  Now I look like an idiot.

Happy Friday!